Coaching abuse - parents, how far will you let it go?

[Unregistered]

I feel for you but my take is that no matter the cost you are the only one who advocates for your child. Trust your gut.

So true

[Marbull]

I will never disclose who this coach is on a public forum nor should anyone do so. I am simply asking for parents to weigh in and provide examples of what is considered abusive. Again, when do you draw the line?

Start attending all the training sessions and bring a video camera to record the events. Sometimes when peps think they are being watched they act different. If not, then you now have evidence of the conduct and could/should bring it to the attention of the club admin. If that doesnt make a change, then look for a different club/coach.

Bring your opinion to other parents of a competitive team is never a good idea. It will either poison the other parents as well or divide them. Do whats best for you and your family.

Some will say "Your just complaining cause you kid is a bench warmer", others might think to join your cause, then bail at the last moment in hopes that you will leave so their kid can move up the ranks some.

[Unregistered]

Sadly it keeps going

It seems like there are really good, fair, communicative coaches and then there are *******s. This is the case in college as well.

I personally feel like my daughter is playing D1 soccer for an abusive coach. Not sure what to do about it yet but it sucks. I would like to pound on them but of course that isn't the answer.

[Unregistered]

It seems like there are really good, fair, communicative coaches and then there are *******s. This is the case in college as well.

I personally feel like my daughter is playing D1 soccer for an abusive coach. Not sure what to do about it yet but it sucks. I would like to pound on them but of course that isn't the answer.

Or maybe your DD and you are both wimps?

[Unregistered]

Or maybe your DD and you are both wimps?

Depends on your definition. But, I would pit my DD against yours and myself against you any day and guarantee you that you and said DD would wimp out first.

I am sure that people like you want to believe that it is always the player. In some instances it may be. Not in this one and my DD isn't the only one having an issue. How to resolve the problem is the big question.

My wish for you is that you never have to learn first hand out this can happen to perfectly strong, hard working, smart, very solid players because it is your kid.

[Unregistered]

Depends on your definition. But, I would pit my DD against yours and myself against you any day and guarantee you that you and said DD would wimp out first.

I am sure that people like you want to believe that it is always the player. In some instances it may be. Not in this one and my DD isn't the only one having an issue. How to resolve the problem is the big question.

My wish for you is that you never have to learn first hand out this can happen to perfectly strong, hard working, smart, very solid players because it is your kid.

It's easy to resolve. There are always 3 options: like it, change it, leave it. You don't like it and can't change it. Time to leave.

[Unregistered]

It's easy to resolve. There are always 3 options: like it, change it, leave it. You don't like it and can't change it. Time to leave.

Sadly this is very true.

[Unregistered]

Don't expect the Board to do anything either. It amazes me how DOCs and Exec Boards often don't discipline bad coaches, even when both know certain coaches are a primary reason why kids leave or won't join a club.

[Unregistered]

I sat on an executive club board and had almost no say. If you were the disenting vote they would try and schedule voting to a time they knew you would not be there. Then they would attempt to have you replaced.

[Unregistered]

I sat on an executive club board and had almost no say. If you were the disenting vote they would try and schedule voting to a time they knew you would not be there. Then they would attempt to have you replaced.

Your only chance is if you have a good DoC who actually cares about the kids. If not, walk with your wallet as soon as you can.

[Unregistered]

Your only chance is if you have a good DoC who actually cares about the kids. If not, walk with your wallet as soon as you can.

There are no good DOCs, just good salesmen. DOC = Director of Corruption

[Unregistered]

There are no good DOCs, just good salesmen. DOC = Director of Corruption

Agree. Our DoC is king of the castle. The board does nothing (besides several who work tirelessly to aid their own children, and really only their own children). He makes a lot of money off the players and doesn't care if some walk. His way or the highway. My advice would be to find a coach (and team) that is best for your child and go there as soon as financially possible.

[Unregistered]

There are no good DOCs, just good salesmen. DOC = Director of Corruption

Years ago we had the luxury to be at a club who had a very good DOC. He did care about the kids and he helped my child with college and was an excellent coach, mentor and person. So I believe they do exist. The issue may be that in the metro area there are so many clubs that they will do just about anything to make a buck. The club we had an excellent experience with was Bend. They had no competition so maybe it makes a difference.

[Unregistered]

Years ago we had the luxury to be at a club who had a very good DOC. He did care about the kids and he helped my child with college and was an excellent coach, mentor and person. So I believe they do exist. The issue may be that in the metro area there are so many clubs that they will do just about anything to make a buck. The club we had an excellent experience with was Bend. They had no competition so maybe it makes a difference.

There are a few, but not the ones people talk about hear.

[Unregistered]

Agree. Our DoC is king of the castle. The board does nothing (besides several who work tirelessly to aid their own children, and really only their own children). He makes a lot of money off the players and doesn't care if some walk. His way or the highway. My advice would be to find a coach (and team) that is best for your child and go there as soon as financially possible.

Look for a club where none of the board members have kids in the club. At least one top club in Portland has this.