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**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 03:30 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

After attending a soccer practice for one of my kids in the U11 age group, I was shocked by the behavior of the coach. This coach is highly credentialed and several parents told me what a good coach he/she is, however I observed that no parents ever stayed and observed the practices so they had no basis to stand on. The rolling of the eyeballs, the yelling at the kids for not being able to follow the complex drills, the constant sarcasm, and the groaning and moaning from the coach absolutely unsettled me. I'm thinking, you've got to be kidding me - this person is seriously a youth coach? He/she is acting like a frustrated teenager. What was even more troubling is that the kids were really trying. There was no laughter, no smiling - just good behavior all around.

Parents, please provide examples of what you think is coach abuse? I am thinking that we might be a lightweight as parents. What some parents might think is abuse, other parents might think is good, old-fashioned coaching. Where do you draw the line?

Trust your instincts and listen to your child. If your child constantly complains and doesn't want to go to practice you should probably find another coach and place to play. This is supposed to be fun and sports should be enjoyable. If it isn't you as a parent are doing it wrong.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 03:48 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

After attending a soccer practice for one of my kids in the U11 age group, I was shocked by the behavior of the coach. This coach is highly credentialed and several parents told me what a good coach he/she is, however I observed that no parents ever stayed and observed the practices so they had no basis to stand on. The rolling of the eyeballs, the yelling at the kids for not being able to follow the complex drills, the constant sarcasm, and the groaning and moaning from the coach absolutely unsettled me. I'm thinking, you've got to be kidding me - this person is seriously a youth coach? He/she is acting like a frustrated teenager. What was even more troubling is that the kids were really trying. There was no laughter, no smiling - just good behavior all around.

Parents, please provide examples of what you think is coach abuse? I am thinking that we might be a lightweight as parents. What some parents might think is abuse, other parents might think is good, old-fashioned coaching. Where do you draw the line?

Who is this coach? What club?

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 04:16 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Trust your instincts and listen to your child. If your child constantly complains and doesn't want to go to practice you should probably find another coach and place to play. This is supposed to be fun and sports should be enjoyable. If it isn't you as a parent are doing it wrong.

I hate to say this but my child is a U14 and he/she has only had one coach that I would consider good. The other coaches could have been considered abusive in one form or another. I have moved my child to different clubs in hopes of a good coach but have not been satisfied anywhere.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 04:19 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Trust your instincts and listen to your child. If your child constantly complains and doesn't want to go to practice you should probably find another coach and place to play. This is supposed to be fun and sports should be enjoyable. If it isn't you as a parent are doing it wrong.

Yes, my child complained to us, basically expressing how "mean" the coach was to the kids and my child gave specific examples. I questioned my child's complaints thinking my child might be too soft and that my child needs to learn how to work with tougher coaches, however I went to see for myself at several practices and I was floored. Couldn't believe this coach was coaching youth. Fantastic drills and very advanced, but at the price of fun and being berated and demoralized? I would never compromise my child's passion for the sport for a credentialed, but abusive coach.

Here's the predicament: how do you get a pro-rated refund when you've paid the club in full? Clubs have strict refund policies and won't refund once you've already paid.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 04:21 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Who is this coach? What club?

I will never disclose who this coach is on a public forum nor should anyone do so. I am simply asking for parents to weigh in and provide examples of what is considered abusive. Again, when do you draw the line?

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 04:25 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

I hate to say this but my child is a U14 and he/she has only had one coach that I would consider good. The other coaches could have been considered abusive in one form or another. I have moved my child to different clubs in hopes of a good coach but have not been satisfied anywhere.

Please provide examples of abuse. What did the coach say or do? I want to know what is considered abusive as some parents have different perspectives on what they considered abusive. For example, my other child had a coach at a premier club that would call out players after a game and say how terrible he/she played and make sarcastic remarks at that player in front of the whole group. Some parents from this team found it acceptable and the mark of a good coach and other parents considered public shaming as abusive.

How was your kid's coach abusive? Please provide examples.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 04:45 PM

We had a coach like this a couple years ago at G10. Would not stop swearing at the girls, calling them names like retard, when they would lose a game tell them that it was their fault not his, would bench players for one wrong move, etc. Several girls left this club because of this coach. DOC did nothing.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 04:58 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

We had a coach like this a couple years ago at G10. Would not stop swearing at the girls, calling them names like retard, when they would lose a game tell them that it was their fault not his, would bench players for one wrong move, etc. Several girls left this club because of this coach. DOC did nothing.

Every coach is different in life . Finish out the season or have the rest of the parents schedule a meeting with the doc and the coach at the same time. If you don't like what you here move on next season or wrap your child in bubble wrap for the rest of their life.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 05:03 PM

We pulled our son off a team because the coach couldn't control his anger. He took his anger out on the kids and couldn't control his mouth. Not to mention he was a bad coach in general. if you google abusive coaches you'll quickly learn these coaches are common. After we pulled our son off he took a break and played baseball. If you leave your team, you will not get your dues refunded. We didn't care. Our son's well being wasn't worth the thousands the club kept. We would never let a teacher or another person treat him that way. Letting him stay on that team so our money wouldn't be wasted would have sent him the wrong message. Parents who let their kids stay on teams like this are essentially giving permission for this to happen.

The next year he made a rival team's A team and was a starter. The 2 times they played against each other his new team won. The next year 2 more kids switched teams because of that coach. We don't regret our decision to pull him. It was the best thing we could have done for him. After we left soccer was fun again.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 05:10 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

I will never disclose who this coach is on a public forum nor should anyone do so. I am simply asking for parents to weigh in and provide examples of what is considered abusive. Again, when do you draw the line?

This is easy...

Absolutely zero abuse at this age....now move on

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 05:25 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

We pulled our son off a team because the coach couldn't control his anger. He took his anger out on the kids and couldn't control his mouth. Not to mention he was a bad coach in general. if you google abusive coaches you'll quickly learn these coaches are common. After we pulled our son off he took a break and played baseball. If you leave your team, you will not get your dues refunded. We didn't care. Our son's well being wasn't worth the thousands the club kept. We would never let a teacher or another person treat him that way. Letting him stay on that team so our money wouldn't be wasted would have sent him the wrong message. Parents who let their kids stay on teams like this are essentially giving permission for this to happen.

The next year he made a rival team's A team and was a starter. The 2 times they played against each other his new team won. The next year 2 more kids switched teams because of that coach. We don't regret our decision to pull him. It was the best thing we could have done for him. After we left soccer was fun again.

I respect what you did and we will do the same and remove our child from this toxic environment, however we are not in the same financial position as you. We need the money to move to the other club, and we believe in principle too, that a refund should be given based on the coach abuse. Has anyone been able to get a refund based on dissatisfaction with the coach and club?

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 05:34 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

I respect what you did and we will do the same and remove our child from this toxic environment, however we are not in the same financial position as you. We need the money to move to the other club, and we believe in principle too, that a refund should be given based on the coach abuse. Has anyone been able to get a refund based on dissatisfaction with the coach and club?

This is the difficult part. Its why they have you sign a player contract. The only way to really get a refund in this sort of situation is to prove the coach/club are not fulfilling what they put in that and said they would do. Otherwise they have no reason to refund the money.

Also on a forum like this you will get all sorts of Horror stories, so I appreciate you leaving there name out. Its funny because I am with a coach this year that I was somewhat weary about because one friend told me they were a terrible coach and one friend said they were a wonderful coach. I got examples from each of them of what they meant. After the first 4 months with this coach he has been awesome and I can't even understand how my dissatisfied friend could have seen any of the things they claimed about the coach (screamer during games, benched players for nothing, never moved players around, boring practices) Every single thing they warned me about I haven't seen, and lets be honest a coach doesn't change that much over night. Going through that experience made me realize no matter how good the coach, there will be those that are unhappy for all sorts of reasons and often will over exaggerate their experience.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 06:26 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

....there will be those that are unhappy for all sorts of reasons and often will over exaggerate their experience.

Just because this was not your experience, don't be so quick to judge someone else is over-exaggerating theirs.

We has an awesome coach my dd loved even though we heard from other people his sarcasm often crossed the line. This never happened with us and we would quickly defend him. Coaching assignments changed the next year. Our good friends were very excited to have him as their coach. However, their experience was the exact opposite of ours. At first I thought it was them being over sensitive. Then more people started to share similar stories. People we respect. Although we only have had good experiences with this coach I learned a good lesson to not assume anything because people experience things very differently.

The only conclusion I can draw on why our experiences were so different... Our team was very successful at winning. My friends team, not so much. This is probably why he never said off-putting with our team. My friends team couldn't win and he would use inappropriate language as a way of toughening them up which failed horribly.

To the op- Bestof luck to you. Hope you get a refund.

**Unregistered** · 08-29-2015, 06:31 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

I will never disclose who this coach is on a public forum nor should anyone do so. I am simply asking for parents to weigh in and provide examples of what is considered abusive. Again, when do you draw the line?

Wow, a parent holding themself above the usual muck racking that goes on in this site. Well done. You are rare.