What makes a player want to not play for the top team

[Unregistered]

Because:

The Coach is an ***
The other players are spoiled selfish turds
Cost
Friends on team
Location
Play time

Have watched 2 top teams fall apart in my area the last year because of all of those reasons listed. As others have mentioned when it becomes a job and a chore to participate its time to take a step back. Its about having fun.

My son tried out for a top team when he was U-11 when the boys went from 6 vs 6 to 8 vs 8 so this established team needed a three more players for the larger field. At try outs there were 45 kids and my son was one of the three that made this team and we were proud of him.

The season turned into a disaster. The existing players were snotty nosed kids and never warmed up with my son and he and the other two felt ostracised and the parents were worse. The coach never did anything to welcome the new players and feel part of the team. This team did win region C but at the cost of my son almost quiting soccer because and adult coact wanted to relive some dream.

My son quite this team and joined another top team and is having a great time. He is stronger now because of the experience.

What is even better is that we have played some of these snotty kids now on other teams while others are no wear to be seen at all.

I learned a long time ago, go to try outs and let your kid pick the team he wants to play for not you.

[Unregistered]

I agree. I had one of those kids. He was/is very talented and loves the game with all his heart. He tried the high level team, did very well, but hated all the high nose kids with the typical parents on the team and just didn't enjoy playing for them. He left and went to another club, which wasn't the best club in the city. They did well, he wasn't the only talent on the team. He did several college tryouts with several offers, but chose the small school over the bigger ones because he wants to play and enjoy it, not have it consume his life and be so stressed that he didn't love playing anymore. At first I was trying to push him to "be all he could be", but learned that it is his decision and respect him for it. He is still in college, but now just plays adult league and intramural at school, and he coaches and trains too. I can only hope the kids he trains learn to love the game the way he does; which I think is the case, as his phone is always ringing with a coach or player wanting him to train them.
In the long run, keeping their love of the game is the most important part, for us anyway.

Sounds like you and two other posters have kids that know what they want, and it is more than just wins that count to them. Congrats, hopefully some other parents will see this thread and come to realize it is about the kids, and their desires, not us.

[Unregistered]

Its great to find a place to play and have fun.

You went from a top snotty team to a top team that is not snotty. Good trade.

[Unregistered]

Wrong again but nice try. The kid should definitely have some input but should not pick the team, especially if the coach is poor. If otherwise the kid would just stay where his or her friends are and not get good training and not learn the game. The number one factor should always be who the coach is, after you take into account travel time, cost, friends, etc. It should not matter if the team is not the best team (as long as they are not a total door-mat). What matters is quality training and quality coaching. Look at the coach's credentials. Go watch a training session by the coach before you try out. Ask what other respected coach's in the soccer community say about him/her. If the coach is a screamer is this OK for your kid's personality? This seems like a dumb thread but it is actually a good one because too many parents want their kids on the best team when they should really be putting the emphasis on who the coach is.

[Unregistered]

There is a difference between actually playing an important role on a good team, and warming the bench on a top team. It is called FUN. That is what your kid is supposed to be having. If you have never played sports, you wouldn't understand.

It also could be lack of confidence. many stars of average teams really may not be that good.

[Unregistered]

Wrong again but nice try. The kid should definitely have some input but should not pick the team, especially if the coach is poor. If otherwise the kid would just stay where his or her friends are and not get good training and not learn the game. The number one factor should always be who the coach is, after you take into account travel time, cost, friends, etc. It should not matter if the team is not the best team (as long as they are not a total door-mat). What matters is quality training and quality coaching. Look at the coach's credentials. Go watch a training session by the coach before you try out. Ask what other respected coach's in the soccer community say about him/her. If the coach is a screamer is this OK for your kid's personality? This seems like a dumb thread but it is actually a good one because too many parents want their kids on the best team when they should really be putting the emphasis on who the coach is.

A coach's credentials can be way misleading. There are some coaches with very impressive resumes but can't caoch at all. I found that a coaches who were strikers are the worst coaches because as players they were egotistical, self centered, selfish players who were not team players. All they worried about is scoring ( which by the way is what you want in a striker BTW but no in a coach). I found that the best coaches were those that played sweeper or center midfield. They have all round skill and were commanders and leaders on the field wich translates to good coaching skills.

[Unregistered]

"It also could be lack of confidence. many stars of average teams really may not be that good."

And many middle of the pack players of better teams may not be that good either. You can drive yourself crazy analyzing everything.

[Unregistered]

A coach's credentials can be way misleading. There are some coaches with very impressive resumes but can't caoch at all. I found that a coaches who were strikers are the worst coaches because as players they were egotistical, self centered, selfish players who were not team players. All they worried about is scoring ( which by the way is what you want in a striker BTW but no in a coach). I found that the best coaches were those that played sweeper or center midfield. They have all round skill and were commanders and leaders on the field wich translates to good coaching skills.

Without a doubt you are correct. I did not mean that credentials were the only thing to look at but they should be taken into account. You are right though I have seen plenty of A licensed coaches who are terrible while maybe a D licensed coach who is still working their way up the ranks is awesome. The bottom line is the most important thing is who is teaching the game to your kid, not who their friends are, not who wins Region/State Cup, not because you save five bucks on gas for travel.

[Unregistered]

Wrong again but nice try. The kid should definitely have some input but should not pick the team, especially if the coach is poor. If otherwise the kid would just stay where his or her friends are and not get good training and not learn the game. The number one factor should always be who the coach is, after you take into account travel time, cost, friends, etc. It should not matter if the team is not the best team (as long as they are not a total door-mat). What matters is quality training and quality coaching. Look at the coach's credentials. Go watch a training session by the coach before you try out. Ask what other respected coach's in the soccer community say about him/her. If the coach is a screamer is this OK for your kid's personality? This seems like a dumb thread but it is actually a good one because too many parents want their kids on the best team when they should really be putting the emphasis on who the coach is.

"Wrong again"? What makes you the expert to say what is right for someone else's kid?
Of couse at the younger ages the parent must make the decisions, but when they get older both you and they know how dedicated they are at it. If a kid just wants to play and doesn't care about winning State Cup, etc., the decision is easier. If an older kid is really into it they won't want to be on a "doormat team" and will search out a good team. And what if there is a great coach with little credentials? I know of a young coach in my area who is extremely good at what he does and the kids learn and love training with him, to the point of other coaches calling him to train their kids. Yes, you do have to see how they coach, but the longer I am around this game the more credentials have little to do with the coach as a whole. Would you rather have your kid on a good team and hate every minute of it just so you can say he is on a winning team?

[Unregistered]

A coach's credentials can be way misleading. There are some coaches with very impressive resumes but can't caoch at all. I found that a coaches who were strikers are the worst coaches because as players they were egotistical, self centered, selfish players who were not team players. All they worried about is scoring ( which by the way is what you want in a striker BTW but no in a coach). I found that the best coaches were those that played sweeper or center midfield. They have all round skill and were commanders and leaders on the field wich translates to good coaching skills.

I agree about coaches and their previous positions. I have found that goalkeepers make good coaches, probably because they have always been back and can see the game as a whole, and therefore know how to coach all the positions, especially the defenders, as they are pretty much defender coaches during games.

[Unregistered]

"Wrong again"? What makes you the expert to say what is right for someone else's kid?
Of couse at the younger ages the parent must make the decisions, but when they get older both you and they know how dedicated they are at it. If a kid just wants to play and doesn't care about winning State Cup, etc., the decision is easier. If an older kid is really into it they won't want to be on a "doormat team" and will search out a good team. And what if there is a great coach with little credentials? I know of a young coach in my area who is extremely good at what he does and the kids learn and love training with him, to the point of other coaches calling him to train their kids. Yes, you do have to see how they coach, but the longer I am around this game the more credentials have little to do with the coach as a whole. Would you rather have your kid on a good team and hate every minute of it just so you can say he is on a winning team?

Never said I was an expert on someone else's kid. Just looking at the broader picture of parents routinely making the wrong decisions about what team their kid should be on. I am speaking mainly of the younger age groups. U15 and below. We see a parent with a good player leave so their kid can be on the championship team when that coach is not a good coach and does not know what they are doing. At the other end of the spectrum we see parents leave so their kid can have fun and be with their friends, again with a coach who is not good and is clueless. If you are serious about your kid's development as a soccer player and you are putting valuable time and resources into it you should research who the coach is (not just credentials!) so that they have the best opportunity to learn the game and develop. If you are not serious about these things just play rec.

[Unregistered]

Never said I was an expert on someone else's kid. Just looking at the broader picture of parents routinely making the wrong decisions about what team their kid should be on. I am speaking mainly of the younger age groups. U15 and below. We see a parent with a good player leave so their kid can be on the championship team when that coach is not a good coach and does not know what they are doing. At the other end of the spectrum we see parents leave so their kid can have fun and be with their friends, again with a coach who is not good and is clueless. If you are serious about your kid's development as a soccer player and you are putting valuable time and resources into it you should research who the coach is (not just credentials!) so that they have the best opportunity to learn the game and develop. If you are not serious about these things just play rec.

There are plenty of competitive coaches who have never played the game, are not licensed and are only on the sideline because they have a kid on the field. At tryouts ask the coach to juggle the soccer ball. If they can't go to the next club or at least consider yourself warned. If your coach can't demonstrate basic skills with a ball, how do you expect them to teach your kids the technical aspects of the game?

You wonder why US soccer sucks. Our "soccer" coaches grew up playing other sports. So we pay some yoke with a British accent to coach our kids thinking he must know how to teach and play this strange game.

[Unregistered]

Never said I was an expert on someone else's kid. Just looking at the broader picture of parents routinely making the wrong decisions about what team their kid should be on. I am speaking mainly of the younger age groups. U15 and below. We see a parent with a good player leave so their kid can be on the championship team when that coach is not a good coach and does not know what they are doing. At the other end of the spectrum we see parents leave so their kid can have fun and be with their friends, again with a coach who is not good and is clueless. If you are serious about your kid's development as a soccer player and you are putting valuable time and resources into it you should research who the coach is (not just credentials!) so that they have the best opportunity to learn the game and develop. If you are not serious about these things just play rec.

I guess I'm just from another realm on this. yes, it is your money and we put a lot of time into it also. But, it is your kid's choice how hard to push, and your comment of "if you are serious about your kid's development..." you make it sound like you give your kid no choice in the whole scenario. Kids see the teams and how good or bad they are. You can talk to them all day on how they need to push themselves and they can play with their other friends at other times, but in the end if you push them too hard to do things they don't want to, you will end up with a kid that hates the game, and that would be tragic. If parents are so clueless as to put their kid with a coach that will not make them a better player, it's their money, I really don't care. Live and learn.

[Unregistered]

I agree about coaches and their previous positions. I have found that goalkeepers make good coaches, probably because they have always been back and can see the game as a whole, and therefore know how to coach all the positions, especially the defenders, as they are pretty much defender coaches during games.

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[Unregistered]

I guess I'm just from another realm on this. yes, it is your money and we put a lot of time into it also. But, it is your kid's choice how hard to push, and your comment of "if you are serious about your kid's development..." you make it sound like you give your kid no choice in the whole scenario. Kids see the teams and how good or bad they are. You can talk to them all day on how they need to push themselves and they can play with their other friends at other times, but in the end if you push them too hard to do things they don't want to, you will end up with a kid that hates the game, and that would be tragic. If parents are so clueless as to put their kid with a coach that will not make them a better player, it's their money, I really don't care. Live and learn.

You're in another realm especially because I agree with pretty much every thing you're saying. You definitely want your kid to have fun and be happy. Maybe you were not the one I responded to originally who said you have to let the kid decide where they want to play. This can be just as misguided as the parent choosing to move to another team because it is the best team. Number one priority should be the coaching they will recieve.