Do parents really understand the fine line between development and results?

[Unregistered]

The answer to this question is that for the vast majority (like 90+%) of American soccer parents, do not understand the fine line between development and results. Though parents may understand this concept and claim they "get it", they do not embrace it and most parents want their children to be winners, to be the best, to be the next Olympian, and that means they focus on results. Winning is too important and precides over development even at the key development ages of American kids. Unfortunately, what happens then is we end up with mediocre players that can't advance to the next level if they desire to do that. By the early teens, some players have played their best soccer because the "automatic" foot skills aren't developed, and by the age of 14, those skills are much, much harder, if not impossible to be developed proficently. Take a hard look at the players that are in high school and ask yourself which of those players are still developing, then ask yourself why? Those players that have become truely skilled players by about 9th grade can pick up new skills in a matter of minutes. As they advance through high school their game only gets better. The rest of the players, which are the majority, struggle.

This is the reality of American soccer. We love winning too much and that is working against youth soccer in America.

[Unregistered]

I guarantee my daughter can tell you which games her team lost and won this season and last year. She may not remember the exact score but she knows whether she won or lost. Competitive kids remember.

Or kids who have been brought up by parents who get their thrills by watching their kids soccer teams win games. Most 16 yr old girls competitive or not can;t tell you about games from last year. It's their sad lost parents who cause them to obsess over this stuff.

[Unregistered]

I believe you assuming that because your child can't remember who won the game they just played means that all kids or even most don't as well is quite the generalization. I honestly don't know a 12 year old that doesn't remember if they won or lost.

Well, my daughter doesn't committ her focus on what the scores were to her games this year. I bet that I can go ask her about all the games this spring and she will know who won or lost, because her team only lost one game and that was an important game to her, but she won't remember the scores to all the games. She does keep track of how many goals she's scored however since she set a goal of 15 and made it. More importantly, she had nearly as many assists, which is a bigger deal in our family.

[Unregistered]

No disservice

If your kid was on a team of 18 at U12 then you did them a big disservice.

The club decided on the number of players on the team. The coach and assistant coach were well respected and seasoned. The players appeared to be of the highest level. It was a great year, but it could always be better. Disservice? Not at all, only in your limited skill set regarding soccer. We will never agree, apparently, but I will not let your lack of understanding attempt to denigrate my DD's accomplishments and success.

[Unregistered]

The club decided on the number of players on the team. The coach and assistant coach were well respected and seasoned. The players appeared to be of the highest level. It was a great year, but it could always be better. Disservice? Not at all, only in your limited skill set regarding soccer. We will never agree, apparently, but I will not let your lack of understanding attempt to denigrate my DD's accomplishments and success.

I wish her all the best in Jr. College.

[Unregistered]

Junior College?

I wish her all the best in Jr. College.

Junior colleges have been called "community colleges" for about, oh, 40 years. Did you not notice? She is a freshman in college and plays for a top D-1 school with both an athletic and a academic scholarship. So do many of her former club teammates. When your DD plays at a community college, let me know so that I can attend and increase the fan base by 50%. Thanks.

[Unregistered]

Well, my daughter doesn't committ her focus on what the scores were to her games this year. I bet that I can go ask her about all the games this spring and she will know who won or lost, because her team only lost one game and that was an important game to her, but she won't remember the scores to all the games. She does keep track of how many goals she's scored however since she set a goal of 15 and made it. More importantly, she had nearly as many assists, which is a bigger deal in our family.

You do realize that the quote you copied didn't say anything about the score. It said who won or who lost.

[Unregistered]

Junior colleges have been called "community colleges" for about, oh, 40 years. Did you not notice? She is a freshman in college and plays for a top D-1 school with both an athletic and a academic scholarship. So do many of her former club teammates. When your DD plays at a community college, let me know so that I can attend and increase the fan base by 50%. Thanks.

It must be a sorry life for you since you still come on here and post about soccer when your kid isn't even playing anymore. You need a new hobby since living through your kid is now over. Maybe building ships in a bottle or stamp collecting.

[Unregistered]

Are you a functional illiterate?

It must be a sorry life for you since you still come on here and post about soccer when your kid isn't even playing anymore. You need a new hobby since living through your kid is now over. Maybe building ships in a bottle or stamp collecting.

My DD plays in college, that's hardly "isn't even playing anymore". I only posted because of topic and how some posters are so very misinformed about it. I don't post about clubs, coaches, OPL/OYSA, ODP, etc. because I am not current with the state of affairs in these topics today. The topic is a good one because so many posters seem to operate in absolutes, like doing my daughter a "disservice" when she played on a team at U-12 with 18 players. Some people seem to only learn years after an event occurs rather than consider the advice and experience of others. It's hard to believe that with your reasoning skills and native intelligence that you won't screw up your player's soccer experience. Please just be quiet and thought a fool, than post and remove all doubt.

[Unregistered]

My DD plays in college, that's hardly "isn't even playing anymore". I only posted because of topic and how some posters are so very misinformed about it. I don't post about clubs, coaches, OPL/OYSA, ODP, etc. because I am not current with the state of affairs in these topics today. The topic is a good one because so many posters seem to operate in absolutes, like doing my daughter a "disservice" when she played on a team at U-12 with 18 players. Some people seem to only learn years after an event occurs rather than consider the advice and experience of others. It's hard to believe that with your reasoning skills and native intelligence that you won't screw up your player's soccer experience. Please just be quiet and thought a fool, than post and remove all doubt.

Step back from the keyboard and breath. Take a deep breath. It will be ok. And just because your daughter managed to do all right in spite of your bad decisions, it doesn't mean other people need to make their own kids jump through the hoops your kid had to.

[Unregistered]

Step back from the keyboard and breath. Take a deep breath. It will be ok. And just because your daughter managed to do all right in spite of your bad decisions, it doesn't mean other people need to make their own kids jump through the hoops your kid had to.

And who are you to judge what is a good or bad decision? You're what, a parent of a U12 player?

I've seen plenty of kids that excel when playing on a U12 team filled with 18 players and plenty that excel when on a U12 roster of 15. It's more about the kid and individual talent. 18 is not ideal but will not hinder development as much as you seem to think. It's more about the coach and training sessions. You can be on a roster of 14 but without proper training it won't matter.

[Unregistered]

Answer to the Question

I do. It's the rest of you that don't. So there.

[Unregistered]

And who are you to judge what is a good or bad decision? You're what, a parent of a U12 player?

I've seen plenty of kids that excel when playing on a U12 team filled with 18 players and plenty that excel when on a U12 roster of 15. It's more about the kid and individual talent. 18 is not ideal but will not hinder development as much as you seem to think. It's more about the coach and training sessions. You can be on a roster of 14 but without proper training it won't matter.

Go hug your daughter and tell her you're sorry.

[Unregistered]

Go hug your daughter and tell her you're sorry.

LOL. Love how you keep posting over and over again and pretend to be so many different people. My guess is your dd was a bigger and stronger then the rest of the girls at U12 so she scored a lot of goals. Once skill and technical abilty took over the game she was left behind. You need something to blame so you've decided the problem was the large roster and thats why she didnt develop. It's okay. We get it.

[Unregistered]

Why is it the parents' job to understand the different between development and results? Comeon....few coaches, clubs could ever articulate the difference. Now throw in a league like ECNL and they don't get it either in practice...looks good on paper. But winning still prevails and always will. A good development program, means players show up ready to win because they got the skills during practices and scimmages/games that don't carry into results. Stop all this discussion. This is a game of winning. Done.