This week's R1 premier

[Unregistered]

That doesn't count. It just proves that you're an ass and probably a deadbeat too.

Darn. Someone else talking to my ex-wives.

[Unregistered]

First, you should drive yourself directly to a hospital (not medical).

Sorry. Too busy shuttling my child to new "opportunities".

[Unregistered]

Sorry. Too busy shuttling my child to new "opportunities".

Remember what they say on the airplane. Put your oxygen mask on first before attempting to assist your children. One of your dear friends in this forum will get your kid to practice. You need to get in the med line.

[Unregistered]

I heard about a coach (I think it was Stars) who berated his players for missing a region 1 game this weekend in NY because of the ACT exam. He suggested that the kids can always take the exam in the future. Talk about having your priorities messed up! Academics should ALWAYS come first.

Clubs and the league should be aware of when tests for juniors are (SATs, ACTs) and plan games accordingly. HS juniors from Mass shouldn't be travelling to NY on saturday's with exams.

This was not the Stars. In fact, the U17s did not play this past weekend for that reason.

[Unregistered]

The Agitator

It has come to my attention that we have some parents vying for the covenant position of team agitator. I think you understand that we cannot leave this important and intricate job to an amateur. The following is the criteria that must be met in order to obtain this position.

1) Written proof from our home league of you earning 3 red cards or 5 yellow cards for decent. This shows me that you take your job serious.
2) Three referral letters from other parents from past seasons that state you are a good agitator. This shows me you have a track record and are not a novice.
3) Blisters or calluses on your hands from gripping the arm rest on your lawn chair for extended periods of time during a game in disbelief that your princess is not playing and that other kid is. If you have permanent scarring that is a plus.
4) A note from your child that you have expressed your feelings regarding other player’s lack of skill compared to your princess. This is a sure sign of a professional, working on dividing 16 and 17 year olds through your own child.
5) Deep set wrinkles in your brow from years of scowling in disbelief that your princess didn’t play the entire game.
6) Must own a stopwatch to keep track of playing time.
7) You must sign a statement to let the other parents know that all the comments that you will make against their child are not personal. They are made in the spirit of competition only.
8) You must only be concerned about your princess but give the appearance that you are concerned about the other kids as well.
9) And last but not least you must have a speed dial phone with 18 slots to spread rumors in a timely manor.

If you meet all of the above criteria please submit it to the league and they will issue you a certificate as oour team agitator. If you are not certified you are not allowed to partake in agitating our team parents or players in any way. If you do so I will be forced to ask you to leave the playing field. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Excellent stuff! Perfectly describes more than a few that I have been unfortunate enough to come across.

[Unregistered]

Looking for a good game to watch? (Scorpions vs Stars) Girls U14 battle of two 2-0 teams play this weekend in their Region 1 match. Game being played in Lancaster.

[Unregistered]

Not sure this will be such a good match. Scorps U-14 has long track record of drubbing Stars in this age group. By my count, Scorps are 8-1-1 against Stars over past few years and many of the matchs have not been close. Scorps have also added better talent in past year and defeated superior competition at the regional and national level.

[Unregistered]

Weather tomorrow ought to make things especially interesting.

[Unregistered]

How so?

[Unregistered]

Go scorps

[Unregistered]

Scorpion guy

Not sure this will be such a good match. Scorps U-14 has long track record of drubbing Stars in this age group. By my count, Scorps are 8-1-1 against Stars over past few years and many of the matchs have not been close. Scorps have also added better talent in past year and defeated superior competition at the regional and national level.

This game is always a good match. Your account of the record might be right but it could easily be different and the Stars are outstanding. I agree that this will be a good game. Hopefully the weather wont be as bad as they say.

[Unregistered]

This game is always a good match. Your account of the record might be right but it could easily be different and the Stars are outstanding. I agree that this will be a good game. Hopefully the weather wont be as bad as they say.

Outstanding?

[Unregistered]

Outstanding?

Good luck Scorpians

[Scorpion guy]

Yes. I think they are outstanding. They just beat #4 in USA PDa last weekend. You have to be pretty good to do that I would say.

[Unregistered]

Good luck Scorpians

Scorpions won, 4-1