FCGB Names New Director of Girls Programs

[Unregistered]

bkb

Excellent post my friend!

The subject of loyalty affects all of us and certainly we all get hurt when the club
replaces players because someone "better" came along. Sometimes that someone is not
even necessarily "better" just fits more into the team or maybe coaches got fed up with the parent asking questions and many other factors.
Players not having any loyalty is a new trend and is more prevalent now than before.
More and more parents want their kids to be in the "top" teams and that means movement towards those teams at any cost sometimes hurting the development of the player itself.
None of these trends are in the long term benefit of the club or the player in most cases.

Clubs that do not allow enough time for players to develop (u-11/u-15)are hurting themselves eventually since some of these players may develop later therefore missing the opportunity to keep players longer. In additon to that the negative publicity against clubs resulting from such frequent player movement is something to consider.

Players moving for a variety of reasons but if you feel that the player is geting valuable instruction in a geographical area that is close to home then moving to another team is rather counter productive.

Of course that would mean that we have good coahing across the board and that is an optical illusion at this time.

So good luck move around!

[Beachbum]

I don't understand why reports about or interest in the possible movement of players should be called "causing trouble." Player movement is normal after every season. And it only makes sense for people to pay attention to movement, especially at the top most selective clubs, because movement means openings. So why criticize people for talking about it? Now, someone could argue that, in this case, people are spreading scurrilous and false rumors about trouble with the Stars team in question. Sure, kids are involved, but I can't tell who these kids are.

As a completely uninvolved observer of this mini-saga, I have no idea if the Bolts are going to get a chunk of Stars players, whether Stars players don't like their coach for some reason, or someone wants to damage the Stars. I'd be very surprised, though, if something like this isn't going on somewhere, and it doesn't bother me a bit.

We parents pay a lot of money to these clubs, but very few of us ever get to talk candidly with a coach or director of coaching about the experience our children have. Even fewer ever have their criticism taken seriously. Why? Because we're all worried that if the coach or DOC takes offense, they will take it out on our kids by reducing playing time or cutting them. We sugar-coat everything we say, and we bite our tongues when we see inappropriate things happen.

There are of course some genuinely caring and humane coaches out there. But if we're brutally honest about what we've seen, we can easily name blowhard autocrats who manage their teams with an iron fist in the name of winning (not the ever-invoked "development"). How many times have you seen coaches deliver obscenity-laden tirades to kids who aren't even teens? If a teacher did this in school, there would be consequences. Yet very few parents (probably only those of star players who would never be cut or taken off the field) feel that they can complain for fear of ruining their child's season (and of course the parents of star players have relatively little reason to complain). This means that the only way most players or parents can improve things is by moving. But it's not as simple as leaving on your own. A good player seeking high competition needs to play with others of like ability. If you're already playing on a team like the Stars that has a disproportionate share of top talent, it makes sense to move with a few of your teammates if they are also unhappy.

Team loyalists (i.e. those who like the team and don't want to move), not to mention coaches and club officials, understandably find such group behavior threatening. A team's success starts with the quality of its talent, and I have never seen anything worry a coach or DOC more than the possibility of losing players that would not otherwise be cut. It makes sense for them to criticize discussions about moving as troublemaking, but I have little sympathy.

Every top club, including the Stars, will cut or demote a player as soon as a better one comes along. The message is clear: you're on the team till someone better comes along. There isn't anything necessarily wrong with this. Competition itself motivates players to improve. But, if coaches and clubs don't show loyalty to their players, how can they complain if players don't show it in return?

If the Bolts are getting a chunk of the Stars team to move, then bully for them. If competition motivates players to get better, the same goes for clubs. Competition from the Bolts sends the message to the Stars that they can't take their players for granted. Of course, the Bolts shouldn't get too smug themselves. If Stars players are thinking of leaving en masse, why wouldn't Bolts players do likewise?

This is a excellent and thoughtful post (would be great to see more like it)

My point is only, if you were on a top 1/2 (or better) D1 team, why would you move to a (generously) middle of the pack D-2 team with a troubled reputation. Not that there are a ton of options out there once you get to that level but I would think other more likely options could be found...

[Unregistered]

This is a excellent and thoughtful post (would be great to see more like it)

My point is only, if you were on a top 1/2 (or better) D1 team, why would you move to a (generously) middle of the pack D-2 team with a troubled reputation. Not that there are a ton of options out there once you get to that level but I would think other more likely options could be found...

Great post you should never be afraid to talk to a coach you are paying. They work for you and the more that don't allow these coachs and DOCs to treat you this way the better the sport will be. We are the customers paying for coaching not abuse.

[Unregistered]

Great post you should never be afraid to talk to a coach you are paying. They work for you and the more that don't allow these coachs and DOCs to treat you this way the better the sport will be. We are the customers paying for coaching NOT ABUSE

Talking to coaches does not stop abuse. It gives them fodder. Even if your kid is not the target it will get to them eventually. If you have any reasonable choice in an abusive situation, you should leave. No idea if the situation described is abusive - just in general.

[Beachbum]

Great post you should never be afraid to talk to a coach you are paying. They work for you and the more that don't allow these coachs and DOCs to treat you this way the better the sport will be. We are the customers paying for coaching not abuse.

I couldn't agree more. If you are SOOOOO afraid of the coach or DOC and feel your daughter/son is SOOO at risk that you can't speak your mind and have a open discussion and relationship about YOUR child .... Your child is already at risk and feels your fear. They will be gone next year anyway.

Just be sure when you do approach the coach or DOC, you do so with intelligence and consideration and always be sure you NEVER EVER approach either until at least 48 hours after if you are upset about something in a game. Everyone needs a cooling off period or you will regret it

[dd2]

1. Why would players move from the mighty Stars to the Bolts? I don't think a single player would if she was going alone (unless she was cut). But if a group of 5 or 6 moved together to play for a coach in whom they had confidence, that's different. 5 or 6 really good players completely changes a team and its chances for success. If the right 5 or 6 move, the new Bolts team might be better than the old Stars team, especially if a few other top players join from elsewhere.

2. Beachbum, I appreciate the sentiment that parents ought to speak candidly with their kids' coaches. Unfortunately, the reasons for silence are greatest when the coach is most problematic.

Suppose we have a coach who makes it clear that parents should drop their kids off and leave. Parents who have approached him about various issues have encountered hostility and defensiveness. He has said that his goal is to win the state cup, and that every player must accept his or her role on the team without question for that to happen. He has a hot temper, yells at players in practice, and will bench a player for the rest of the half for making what he considers unforgivable errors. And of course, he has the two star players he never, ever takes off the field while others play 5-10 minutes a game, even if the team is winning easily.

I think it's really, really hard for a parent to tell this coach that he's unfair to my child, or to criticize his training methods. Coaches understandably consider themselves the experts, and see parent complaints as meddling and whining (and indeed, some parents do meddle and whine). Yes, it's possible to have a good chat about what a player must do to improve. It's much harder, though, to tell a coach that having tantrums in front of 13 year olds is inappropriate, calling them "cowards" or "losers" (or worse) is counterproductive, or that you pay thousands of dollars for your kid to play in soccer games, not watch them. "My way or the highway" coaches are like the jerk boss we've all worked for. They like power, and will use it against those with the temerity to complain about the abuse of power.

Just to be clear, I'm not criticizing the coaching profession. And I agree with your advice about cooling off before saying something. Most coaches I've encountered are approachable as long as parents are reasonable about it. There are a few, however, who would make my stomach churn if assigned to my kid's team.

[Unregistered]

1. Why would players move from the mighty Stars to the Bolts? I don't think a single player would if she was going alone (unless she was cut). But if a group of 5 or 6 moved together to play for a coach in whom they had confidence, that's different. 5 or 6 really good players completely changes a team and its chances for success. If the right 5 or 6 move, the new Bolts team might be better than the old Stars team, especially if a few other top players join from elsewhere.

2. Beachbum, I appreciate the sentiment that parents ought to speak candidly with their kids' coaches. Unfortunately, the reasons for silence are greatest when the coach is most problematic.

Suppose we have a coach who makes it clear that parents should drop their kids off and leave. Parents who have approached him about various issues have encountered hostility and defensiveness. He has said that his goal is to win the state cup, and that every player must accept his or her role on the team without question for that to happen. He has a hot temper, yells at players in practice, and will bench a player for the rest of the half for making what he considers unforgivable errors. And of course, he has the two star players he never, ever takes off the field while others play 5-10 minutes a game, even if the team is winning easily.

I think it's really, really hard for a parent to tell this coach that he's unfair to my child, or to criticize his training methods. Coaches understandably consider themselves the experts, and see parent complaints as meddling and whining (and indeed, some parents do meddle and whine). Yes, it's possible to have a good chat about what a player must do to improve. It's much harder, though, to tell a coach that having tantrums in front of 13 year olds is inappropriate, calling them "cowards" or "losers" (or worse) is counterproductive, or that you pay thousands of dollars for your kid to play in soccer games, not watch them. "My way or the highway" coaches are like the jerk boss we've all worked for. They like power, and will use it against those with the temerity to complain about the abuse of power.

Just to be clear, I'm not criticizing the coaching profession. And I agree with your advice about cooling off before saying something. Most coaches I've encountered are approachable as long as parents are reasonable about it. There are a few, however, who would make my stomach churn if assigned to my kid's team.

You have just said what 14 other parents would like to have said BRAVO.

[Unregistered]

When all these strong players move to FCGB, doesn't that mean that a lot of current FCGB players will be cut? I hope the FCGB coach is giving these bottom of the roster players some advance notice so that they can try out for other teams come June.

[Unregistered]

You have just said what 14 other parents would like to have said BRAVO.

PLEASE !!!!!!! Coach this team Jason !!!!!! It has so much potential

[Unregistered]

PLEASE !!!!!!! Coach this team Jason !!!!!! It has so much potential

He has his own problems coaching his own team. You can treat girls like dogs for so long before they turn into angry young women. Get out while you can, what will your girls become with this abuse. Would you allow them to be abused by a spouse and pay them to do it? I DON'T THINK SO! Your young lady will have scars forever if you continue down this road.

[Unregistered]

He has his own problems coaching his own team. You can treat girls like dogs for so long before they turn into angry young women. Get out while you can, what will your girls become with this abuse. Would you allow them to be abused by a spouse and pay them to do it? I DON'T THINK SO! Your young lady will have scars forever if you continue down this road.

No coach is everyone's cup of tea - those that do not care for GC's style should leave as others have (several left after the U11 year). Just remember complaints you read here are never pure - some are from competitors, some are from Stars bashers (two threads going simultaneously right now) some may be from disgruntled parents (kid not playing enough, not recognized, etc.); none are meant to be constructive because if they were they would not be posted here - would they?

[Unregistered]

No coach is everyone's cup of tea - those that do not care for GC's style should leave as others have (several left after the U11 year). Just remember complaints you read here are never pure - some are from competitors, some are from Stars bashers (two threads going simultaneously right now) some may be from disgruntled parents (kid not playing enough, not recognized, etc.); none are meant to be constructive because if they were they would not be posted here - would they?

Correct! The information however is all true and the DOC will not intervene. VERY PURE

[Unregistered]

Well you must not be from the team since, if you were, you'd be at the field they are playing on, no? If you were so concerned, you'd be there watching over yoru daughter, no?

[Unregistered]

Ooops?

[Unregistered]

Well you must not be from the team since, if you were, you'd be at the field they are playing on, no? If you were so concerned, you'd be there watching over yoru daughter, no?

Are all the kids on this team children of single parents? Or are you just assuming that all the players are an only child so both doting parents will be at all their games?