Bullying on Team

[Unregistered]

Asking for another parent friend with an older child:

Has anyone had experience with bullying on a team and what creative solutions the club could do to solve the problem? Has anyone used the anonymous Safe Sport form/line for WYS? Club uses public school fields, so bullying law in State for criminal responsibility may apply.

Major club, premier team. Kids who are bullies were moved to B team. Extremely disrespectful racist comments to coach who is foreign born, non native speaker. Continues and then subsides and then repeats itself.

Bullies have been at it since summer, repeated emails from coach and parents to team on subject. Kids who are being bullied have quit (2) and several more are asking for demotion to C team to get away from the 2 bullies. One is likely to quit soccer all together.

Parents of non bullies starting to compare notes and are in favor of asking Club to promote the 2 bullies back to the A team just to be done with them, one already practices with the A team. Demotion isn't really a great option as the nonbuillies have moved to that team to escape the bullying.

[Unregistered]

these kids haven't been kicked out of the club yet, why??

repeated racist comments toward a coach?? and players leaving the club due to being bullied?

makes no sense, what are they kids of the doc or what

[Unregistered]

Find a new club

Simple answer, find a new club. Not sure why you would let your kid stay in a situation like that, especially if the club is doing nothing.

You are the parent, parent.

[Unregistered]

Simple answer, find a new club. Not sure why you would let your kid stay in a situation like that, especially if the club is doing nothing.

You are the parent, parent.

Everyone else on the team should find a new team if the club hasn’t expelled the bullies. You could all always try the safe line thing to help others in the future. The club should be in power and have zero tolerance for bullies. If enough other players threaten to leave, they’ll probably get rid of the bullies.

[Unregistered]

Everyone else on the team should find a new team if the club hasn’t expelled the bullies. You could all always try the safe line thing to help others in the future. The club should be in power and have zero tolerance for bullies. If enough other players threaten to leave, they’ll probably get rid of the bullies.

Totally agree with this. The club holds all the power. If they are unwilling to remove the bullies, the entire team should leave. And further, you should not be responsible for the entire year's fees as the club is allowing a hostile environment to continue unchecked. I suggest you group together, draft a letter stating you will leave and are asking for a full refund of all prorated fees paid, and have every parent sign it. Give them a short deadline to make it right by removing the bullies. Then start looking for another club. Your letter could also mention reporting the racist bullying to the state, because by allowing their employee to be treated that way, they are opening themselves up to liability.

[Unregistered]

Sometimes bullies are tolerated because:

1) They are really good players who the coach does not want to lose. In this case, that seems unlikely, since they were moved to the B team.

2) Some coaches have a "no p*ssies allowed" attitude, and not only appreciate bullies for their "toughness", but may actually view it as a good thing that "wimpy" kids on the team have an unpleasant experience, believing that the kids who won't stand up to bullies are also the kids who won't run through balls or who, when knocked down, will stay down (without having sustained an injury).

3) Our club had a rather smart way of dealing with a bully on the team a couple years ago--they moved him up one year in age. He's a big kid, and was bigger than everyone else, and did push a few of the smaller kids around. (He also was a good player, and not totally irredeemable). So he got moved up to one year (and got told it was his last chance--any more nonsense and he would be thrown out of the club), where everyone was his size and nobody was afraid of him. Solved the problem, and also good for his soccer training.

[Unregistered]

Expose the club....period. I bet you it will get the phones ringing immediately and a resolution very swiftly.

[Unregistered]

Sometimes bullies are tolerated because:

1) They are really good players who the coach does not want to lose. In this case, that seems unlikely, since they were moved to the B team.

2) Some coaches have a "no p*ssies allowed" attitude, and not only appreciate bullies for their "toughness", but may actually view it as a good thing that "wimpy" kids on the team have an unpleasant experience, believing that the kids who won't stand up to bullies are also the kids who won't run through balls or who, when knocked down, will stay down (without having sustained an injury).

3) Our club had a rather smart way of dealing with a bully on the team a couple years ago--they moved him up one year in age. He's a big kid, and was bigger than everyone else, and did push a few of the smaller kids around. (He also was a good player, and not totally irredeemable). So he got moved up to one year (and got told it was his last chance--any more nonsense and he would be thrown out of the club), where everyone was his size and nobody was afraid of him. Solved the problem, and also good for his soccer training.

This info here is very true, and on point.

Though this is an anonymous board, I'm in favor of outing the club. Some coaches do read this and it may be passed on the DOC, who I assume you have already emailed. This is not something a club wants on it's resume. I am not fearful of posting my concerns here.

I have seen some bullying from A team girls. One coach who's been around for a long time, seemed to be in the "let the kids work it out view." It occurred right in front of him and he let them work it out. A non-confrontational smaller kid is screwed in this scenario.

Some mean girls thought it was fun taking my daughter's ball and playing keep away, even snatching the ball and booting it down the field. I instructed my DD to run through them and take her ball back forcefully Marshawn ***** style and give them a crazed MMA fighter stare. After knocking a few girls down if they touched her ball and letting them know she wasn't there to play, it stopped. This obviously isn't going to work against a bigger stronger bully.

It sounds like the club and coaches are trying to deal with it. After repeated violations, I would hope they would discipline the kid with a suspension or something.

I like the above method "they moved him up one year in age...."

The spouting racists crap crosses the line for me. Why tolerate that sh*t. No kids are born racist, it is learned. I wouldn't want the kid or their family at my club.

[Unregistered]

This info here is very true, and on point.

Though this is an anonymous board, I'm in favor of outing the club. Some coaches do read this and it may be passed on the DOC, who I assume you have already emailed. This is not something a club wants on it's resume. I am not fearful of posting my concerns here.

I have seen some bullying from A team girls. One coach who's been around for a long time, seemed to be in the "let the kids work it out view." It occurred right in front of him and he let them work it out. A non-confrontational smaller kid is screwed in this scenario.

Some mean girls thought it was fun taking my daughter's ball and playing keep away, even snatching the ball and booting it down the field. I instructed my DD to run through them and take her ball back forcefully Marshawn ***** style and give them a crazed MMA fighter stare. After knocking a few girls down if they touched her ball and letting them know she wasn't there to play, it stopped. This obviously isn't going to work against a bigger stronger bully.

It sounds like the club and coaches are trying to deal with it. After repeated violations, I would hope they would discipline the kid with a suspension or something.

I like the above method "they moved him up one year in age...."

The spouting racists crap crosses the line for me. Why tolerate that sh*t. No kids are born racist, it is learned. I wouldn't want the kid or their family at my club.

Agree. If the club won’t expel the racist bullies, everyone else should walk. A bully who is allowed to bully, will only get worse!

[Unregistered]

The more I think about this post, the more it upsets me. Please post the club and I encourage anyone who cares to email the DOC.

Any business that is tasked with working with kids should be held to a high standard and it should at the very least be a safe place free of abuse.

Schools have increased their anti bullying efforts and have systems in place to help in these scenarios because of the many suicides that have occurred. Suicide rates for U.S. teens and young adults are the highest on record in years.

[Unregistered]

The more I think about this post, the more it upsets me. Please post the club and I encourage anyone who cares to email the DOC.

Any business that is tasked with working with kids should be held to a high standard and it should at the very least be a safe place free of abuse.

Schools have increased their anti bullying efforts and have systems in place to help in these scenarios because of the many suicides that have occurred. Suicide rates for U.S. teens and young adults are the highest on record in years.

Escalate to the doc and if doc is not responsive the board. These kids should be suspended from the club and reinstated only if they can demonstrate a willingness to abide by basic standards of behavior. Most premier clubs have policies in place to deal with this kind of thing, and most do once the issue gets into the right channels, but coaches (and even doc’s) understandably aren’t always the best at handling and don’t always escalate as they should.

[Unregistered]

Escalate to the doc and if doc is not responsive the board. These kids should be suspended from the club and reinstated only if they can demonstrate a willingness to abide by basic standards of behavior. Most premier clubs have policies in place to deal with this kind of thing, and most do once the issue gets into the right channels, but coaches (and even doc’s) understandably aren’t always the best at handling and don’t always escalate as they should.

If it's one or more of the top players, it's swept under the rug. Saw it happen at the RCL club out of Starfire, where one of the smallest A team players got bullied and nothing was done. He eventually quit and stopped playing completely.

[Unregistered]

How does bullying work in club play? When does it occur?

You show up for practice. You practice. You go home. At pre- driving ages parents are around. After kids start driving they are hurrying to get home or some other activity.

My kids often did not care for players on their teams over the years, but contact outside of practices and games was non-existent anyway. It can be a bit of an issue with school teams where hazing can come into play. Easy to stop though. Coach just assigns tasks and kids come to what they want. Freshman worried about seniors. Skip no practice stuff that does not also involve adults.

[Unregistered]

How does bullying work in club play? When does it occur?

You show up for practice. You practice. You go home. At pre- driving ages parents are around. After kids start driving they are hurrying to get home or some other activity.

My kids often did not care for players on their teams over the years, but contact outside of practices and games was non-existent anyway. It can be a bit of an issue with school teams where hazing can come into play. Easy to stop though. Coach just assigns tasks and kids come to what they want. Freshman worried about seniors. Skip no practice stuff that does not also involve adults.

The parents aren't around, at least at Eastside.

The nanny or mom drops off the kids at the field, sits in her car until the kid walks up, or even leaves until the last 5 minutes of practice. There are about 2 out of 14 parents that stick around and watch their kids practice.

[Unregistered]

It really makes no sense that these kids haven't been dropped and that a major club isn't backing up its coaches. Kids have been cut for much less.

I agree with outing the club if appeals to club leadership have gone nowhere. Lots of other good suggestions in the thread.