If you choose the wrong club your child will suffer.

[Unregistered]

Choose carefully. All clubs are doomed. Their coaches are all money-grubbing morons who think offside is a five-yard penalty. Their directors of coaching all do nothing but collect six-figure checks while drinking Corona and travelling to clinics on the club's dime. Their board members are all toadies and lickspittles. Their facilities are all inadequate, and they are all nearly bankrupt. Their curricula either doesn't exist, or was found in a cereal box. Their tryouts are rigged, their fees outrageous, and they will all finish last place in OYSA/DA/ECNL. No club in Oregon will win the State Cup next year, because they all stink.

Your child would be better off learning to play the violin.

[Unregistered]

If it's all doom and gloom why are you in this board? To save us from all the evil clubs? Go to Talking Violins. Well.continue to figure it out without you

[Unregistered]

If it's all doom and gloom why are you in this board? To save us from all the evil clubs? Go to Talking Violins. Well.continue to figure it out without you

Some people fail to get satire....

[Unregistered]

...and every player is rec except mine

[Unregistered]

...and every player is rec except mine

Yours was cut from a rec team.

[Unregistered]

Choose carefully. All clubs are doomed. Their coaches are all money-grubbing morons who think offside is a five-yard penalty. Their directors of coaching all do nothing but collect six-figure checks while drinking Corona and travelling to clinics on the club's dime. Their board members are all toadies and lickspittles. Their facilities are all inadequate, and they are all nearly bankrupt. Their curricula either doesn't exist, or was found in a cereal box. Their tryouts are rigged, their fees outrageous, and they will all finish last place in OYSA/DA/ECNL. No club in Oregon will win the State Cup next year, because they all stink.

Your child would be better off learning to play the violin.

Salient points in our current dystopian youth soccer culture.

Problem is nobody cares about this 'foriegn' sport so please continue to pay 6 figures salaries to ex pats and soccer flunkies and in their bliss let them drink Corona and party on your dime. Let the boards be bored and disinterested. Facilities belong to the taxpayers let the Soccer Clubs use them and profit from their monetized tournaments, leagues, camps, clinics and private lessons. The outrageous fees you fork over are not for soccer they are necessary to make you feel like your paying for something that in the rest of the world is free, youth coaching. With all the top players gone to the DA for boys & girls compete for the OYSA p!ss and cr@p cup in their absence. Enjoying Drinking from this Cup you paid for it.

[Unregistered]

If it's all doom and gloom why are you in this board? To save us from all the evil clubs? Go to Talking Violins. Well.continue to figure it out without you

What are you going to figure out? By the time you do; it's going to be too freaking late.

[Unregistered]

What are you going to figure out? By the time you do; it's going to be too freaking late.

Ha! Who takes any advice on this board seriously?

[Unregistered]

You can always switch to a different club to find a better fit.