I’m a soccer mom. My sister-in-law? A football mom. My neighbor across the street is a lacrosse mom, and my son’s preschool teacher is a cheer mom.
You know what we all have in common? The tie that binds here is that all of us are bat-****, screw-loose, certifiably crazy. WE ARE WACKO. We have lost our minds. You are probably reading this while sitting at a gymnastics class separated by a glass partition, watching your little lovely learn to somersault. You are wacko too. You don’t believe me? Here are five telltale signs that sports moms are crazy.
1. The Cost: Extracurricular sports are EXPENSIVE. Not only do you have to pay for coaching, lessons, referees, and tournament fees, you also get saddled with uniform and gear expenses. “What do you mean I have to buy a $70 soccer bag in the team colors that can only be purchased from one vendor that is three hours away, and then I have to get little Johnny’s name embroidered on it too?” ****. Hence the crazy. Because it’s ridiculous… AND WE STILL DO IT. “OK Johnny, get in the car. If we leave now maybe we’ll get there before they close.”
2. The Time Commitment: My kid’s team practices twice a week and plays a game once a week. I’ve spent many a night shoving animal crackers and fruit snacks at a wound-up toddler while he hypnotizes himself with surprise egg videos on a cold soccer sideline. As the minutes tick by, I think of all the things I’d rather be doing (read: anything else) or should be doing (read: laundry).
3. The Travel: Next week we are leaving town for a tournament. That’s right. The crew of 5, who hasn’t gone on a family vacation in 10 years, travels to soccer tournaments. That in itself is a sign of being unhinged. Ever try to put three children to bed in one room? No? You’re really missing out.
I thought it was going to be another troll thread but was pleasantly surprised. Yes, I do believe we are all Bat-****, Screw Loose, Certifiably crazy!!
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