A coach's perspective

[Unregistered]

as a childless coach

The problem is you are not judging this through unbiased eyes. You assume the coaches child is skating by, you assume your child is putting everything they have into it, and then you are deciding you (or your child) have been treated unfairly. How about focusing on yourself instead of spending so much time claiming someone else got a better deal. You choose whether to let yourself be happy.

Coaches should be measured by their coaching ability, not by the presence of their offspring.

i still say parents should NEVER coach their own children's teams. just my opinion. (obviously Bob and Michael Bradley might be an exception.) and if/when i have kids i won't keep them on a team with a parent coach

[Unregistered]

i still say parents should NEVER coach their own children's teams. just my opinion. (obviously Bob and Michael Bradley might be an exception.) and if/when i have kids i won't keep them on a team with a parent coach

We learned this lesson the hard way. Only it was just an assistant coach who was a parent. However, it should have never happened on a club team and I wish I had insisted with the DOC and the head coach that this was wrong. The entire team suffered because of it, but for some reason, none of us spoke up. However, the parent coach should have recognized the issue and removed themself. But if you knew this family, you would know why he didn't.

[Unregistered]

Not always the case

We learned this lesson the hard way. Only it was just an assistant coach who was a parent. However, it should have never happened on a club team and I wish I had insisted with the DOC and the head coach that this was wrong. The entire team suffered because of it, but for some reason, none of us spoke up. However, the parent coach should have recognized the issue and removed themself. But if you knew this family, you would know why he didn't.

It was my experience growing up that the kids whose dads coached the team had to work harder to get their playing time and their dads were harder on them than the rest of the team. The NFL is littered with successful players whose father coached them through High School

I know that that is not the case everywhere and today many parents volunteer to coach to get their kid in the starting line up or a certain position but if the parent has any integrity they will not do that.

The key is to call them out early and often!

[Unregistered]

It was my experience growing up that the kids whose dads coached the team had to work harder to get their playing time and their dads were harder on them than the rest of the team. The NFL is littered with successful players whose father coached them through High School

I know that that is not the case everywhere and today many parents volunteer to coach to get their kid in the starting line up or a certain position but if the parent has any integrity they will not do that.

The key is to call them out early and often!

This wasn't a volunteer coach, it was a paid club coach. The club should have never assigned him to this team and even if they did, he never should have accepted it. Not only did his daughter receive favorable treatment, the other girls suffered when he coached. He was protective so he made sure other girls didn't get favorable playing time. Don't worry, he doesn't live here anymore. And his wife was a real piece of work. Oregon is a much better place to live with her living in another state.

[Unregistered]

It was my experience growing up that the kids whose dads coached the team had to work harder to get their playing time and their dads were harder on them than the rest of the team. The NFL is littered with successful players whose father coached them through High School

I know that that is not the case everywhere and today many parents volunteer to coach to get their kid in the starting line up or a certain position but if the parent has any integrity they will not do that.

The key is to call them out early and often!

It's hard to call them out. They may take it against your kid. How do you do that correctly?

[Unregistered]

Reality 101

Coaches don't have the mindset or enough incentive to punish a child for the sins of the parent. Goofball parents are just that Goofballs. They coach to teach, learn and field competitive teams. They do everything they can to help a team win.

Most of the time the goofball parents have kids who aren't in the top 11 of a team. Saying the coach is taking out on their kid (for their stupidity) is just another excuse that helps them(parent) cope and rationalize their childs situation. Instead of supporting their own child they go after someone else. It's what losers do. Day in and day out. It's far eaiser to blame someone else.

If your coach or boss doesn't give you the 'love' you feel you need. Then you need help.

You can only control what you do...not the coach..or your child's performance.

Parents need to be parents to their children. Youth soccer team pundits are a dime a dozen. A great parent is priceless.

Making our children's stuggles become our problem is the problem.

Give the kids some room to figure it out and let their performance and attitude guide them.

Changing your nature is difficult but the ablility to let go will set you free.

[Unregistered]

Coaches don't have the mindset or enough incentive to punish a child for the sins of the parent. Goofball parents are just that Goofballs. They coach to teach, learn and field competitive teams. They do everything they can to help a team win.

Most of the time the goofball parents have kids who aren't in the top 11 of a team. Saying the coach is taking out on their kid (for their stupidity) is just another excuse that helps them(parent) cope and rationalize their childs situation. Instead of supporting their own child they go after someone else. It's what losers do. Day in and day out. It's far eaiser to blame someone else.

If your coach or boss doesn't give you the 'love' you feel you need. Then you need help.

You can only control what you do...not the coach..or your child's performance.

Parents need to be parents to their children. Youth soccer team pundits are a dime a dozen. A great parent is priceless.

Making our children's stuggles become our problem is the problem.

Give the kids some room to figure it out and let their performance and attitude guide them.

Changing your nature is difficult but the ablility to let go will set you free.

I don't have an issue at this time with a coach but I find it necessary to call this comment BS. I'm not sure if this was just meant to get a rise out of people or not. But it looks like I'll bite. There are so many assumptions and judgements I don't even know where to start. In my many years of playing sports and now watching my kids play sports I have found the majority of parents to stand idle while the coach does anything they want. I am not talking about playing time or position complaints, but mistreatment of a child's esteem and character. Unfortunately, I witnessed parents stand by while there child has been scorned or belittled because they didn't want to get their child kicked off of a team. A coach can make or break a child's passion for a sport. I had a coach that seriously was meant for coaching. He was motivational, positive and a true master at coaching. He moved and was replaced by a rediculing, motivational sucking moron. Over half the team quit. If the parents would have taken a stand they could have saved a lot of heart ache and maybe get the coach replaced. I find parents not saying enough and drinking the kool-aid so to speak more often than not.
When one of my sons was in 3rd grade he had a horrible basketball coach. He yelled at the boys, belittled them during games, often made his own son cry and more. My son was scared to touch the ball. I pulled my son and reported the coach. My only regret is that I didn't knock this SOB out! So, no, don't stand idle while an untrained, no brained coach thinks they're God. When your kids are young stand up for them, teach them how to stand up for themselves and yes, pull them off of a team if they're being mentally abused. You pay for these programs, expect greatness from coaches....OK so if you can't get greatness half a brain for coaching would be nice. Coaching 101

[Unregistered]

Coaches don't have the mindset or enough incentive to punish a child for the sins of the parent. Goofball parents are just that Goofballs. They coach to teach, learn and field competitive teams. They do everything they can to help a team win.

Most of the time the goofball parents have kids who aren't in the top 11 of a team. Saying the coach is taking out on their kid (for their stupidity) is just another excuse that helps them(parent) cope and rationalize their childs situation. Instead of supporting their own child they go after someone else. It's what losers do. Day in and day out. It's far eaiser to blame someone else.

If your coach or boss doesn't give you the 'love' you feel you need. Then you need help.

You can only control what you do...not the coach..or your child's performance.

Parents need to be parents to their children. Youth soccer team pundits are a dime a dozen. A great parent is priceless.

Making our children's stuggles become our problem is the problem.

Give the kids some room to figure it out and let their performance and attitude guide them.

Changing your nature is difficult but the ablility to let go will set you free.

I totally agree with this. One time only did we have a problem with a club coach and we immediately removed ourselves. Over the years I took more issue with other parents than the coaches.

[Unregistered]

I don't have an issue at this time with a coach but I find it necessary to call this comment BS. I'm not sure if this was just meant to get a rise out of people or not. But it looks like I'll bite. There are so many assumptions and judgements I don't even know where to start. In my many years of playing sports and now watching my kids play sports I have found the majority of parents to stand idle while the coach does anything they want. I am not talking about playing time or position complaints, but mistreatment of a child's esteem and character. Unfortunately, I witnessed parents stand by while there child has been scorned or belittled because they didn't want to get their child kicked off of a team. A coach can make or break a child's passion for a sport. I had a coach that seriously was meant for coaching. He was motivational, positive and a true master at coaching. He moved and was replaced by a rediculing, motivational sucking moron. Over half the team quit. If the parents would have taken a stand they could have saved a lot of heart ache and maybe get the coach replaced. I find parents not saying enough and drinking the kool-aid so to speak more often than not.
When one of my sons was in 3rd grade he had a horrible basketball coach. He yelled at the boys, belittled them during games, often made his own son cry and more. My son was scared to touch the ball. I pulled my son and reported the coach. My only regret is that I didn't knock this SOB out! So, no, don't stand idle while an untrained, no brained coach thinks they're God. When your kids are young stand up for them, teach them how to stand up for themselves and yes, pull them off of a team if they're being mentally abused. You pay for these programs, expect greatness from coaches....OK so if you can't get greatness half a brain for coaching would be nice. Coaching 101

The stuff you are describing really is connected to competence as a coach. It is more connected to competence as a human being. Fortunately neither I or my kids have been exposed to this type. We have had some excellent coaches and among them have been parents of kids on their teams.

I would wonder if the coaches you are describing are so deficient does that pass on to their kids, and maybe the "favoritism" you describe is less connected to the coach and more connected to the kid. Just sounds like bad people.

[Unregistered]

It's hard to call them out. They may take it against your kid. How do you do that correctly?

You do this as a unified group to the DOC. Then you document any retaliation and take that to the Board.