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Majority of Club parents are good, yes?

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    Majority of Club parents are good, yes?

    New to it all, have talked to a few parents @training sessions. All so far, (not many), have seemed educated, not only w/soccer but with respect to their kids other needs as well. Keen on social implications & development as a whole & not just winning. No one has been deranged. However as I've been dipping into TS now & again, I've see the comments on the less than wise parents about. I did see examples @rec level, but it was mild & really just ignorance at best. Sooo, my question is...are the Club Crazies just a small minority? Like really small minority? Thoughts?

    #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    New to it all, have talked to a few parents @training sessions. All so far, (not many), have seemed educated, not only w/soccer but with respect to their kids other needs as well. Keen on social implications & development as a whole & not just winning. No one has been deranged. However as I've been dipping into TS now & again, I've see the comments on the less than wise parents about. I did see examples @rec level, but it was mild & really just ignorance at best. Sooo, my question is...are the Club Crazies just a small minority? Like really small minority? Thoughts?
    Yes. Most are normal, pretty realistic and actually really cool. There are always exceptions, and don't let the crazies here convince you that it's any different. The real crazy ones always want to believe they aren't the only ones, or that others are worse.

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      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      Yes. Most are normal, pretty realistic and actually really cool. There are always exceptions, and don't let the crazies here convince you that it's any different. The real crazy ones always want to believe they aren't the only ones, or that others are worse.
      Thanks, my feeling was that some here on TS like to create entertainment & spin things with a little sugar on top. I know there are certainly overly obsessive parents out there, but weren't sure if others see more crazies @Club than in the real World. Being new here we know it's much more of a commitment & it would be scary if we wanted to walk away after signing. Reassuring, thx.

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        #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Thanks, my feeling was that some here on TS like to create entertainment & spin things with a little sugar on top. I know there are certainly overly obsessive parents out there, but weren't sure if others see more crazies @Club than in the real World. Being new here we know it's much more of a commitment & it would be scary if we wanted to walk away after signing. Reassuring, thx.
        Your assessment is pretty accurate - most parents are pretty normal ( you won't know for sure until you're deep into it, but there's ways to avoid the nut jobs), most of TS is entertainment with an occasional factoid thrown in. Avoid any and all threads with P, BTDT and BTNT

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          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Your assessment is pretty accurate - most parents are pretty normal ( you won't know for sure until you're deep into it, but there's ways to avoid the nut jobs), most of TS is entertainment with an occasional factoid thrown in. Avoid any and all threads with P, BTDT and BTNT
          Yes, most parents are normal. But there is always 1 on each team. If you are new, it will likely be the one that befriends you first (since they have burned the bridges with every other parent and also need to get the inside scoop on your child).

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            #6
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Yes, most parents are normal. But there is always 1 on each team. If you are new, it will likely be the one that befriends you first (since they have burned the bridges with every other parent and also need to get the inside scoop on your child).
            Great observation. It took me a couple of seasons to see this dynamic clearly.

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              #7
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              Yes, most parents are normal. But there is always 1 on each team. If you are new, it will likely be the one that befriends you first (since they have burned the bridges with every other parent and also need to get the inside scoop on your child).
              so true! try not to buddy up with the first person you meet. make an effort to get to know everybody. it takes a little time but you can figure out the parental dynamics in good time.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                so true! try not to buddy up with the first person you meet. make an effort to get to know everybody. it takes a little time but you can figure out the parental dynamics in good time.
                Ah yes, original post here, our D is just U11 now & not on the "A" team so I would think we may be safe with any competition issue if that may be what you are referring to? This is certainly an issue that would be new to us as D has only played town, although there was some mild selfishness. We can imagine now that it's mentioned that hovering parents may be a little eccentric when looking at the competition between their child's teammates. Perceptive.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Ah yes, original post here, our D is just U11 now & not on the "A" team so I would think we may be safe with any competition issue if that may be what you are referring to? This is certainly an issue that would be new to us as D has only played town, although there was some mild selfishness. We can imagine now that it's mentioned that hovering parents may be a little eccentric when looking at the competition between their child's teammates. Perceptive.
                  Not necessarily. Some B team parents are more likely to be insecure about their kid's abilities and will be jockeying to get onto the A team. I find sticking to groups the best bet. The loners are more likely to be alone for a reason. Some loners, however, can also be normal and just want to watch their kids play in peace and avoid parent nonsense

                  Different poster

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Not necessarily. Some B team parents are more likely to be insecure about their kid's abilities and will be jockeying to get onto the A team. I find sticking to groups the best bet. The loners are more likely to be alone for a reason. Some loners, however, can also be normal and just want to watch their kids play in peace and avoid parent nonsense

                    Different poster
                    This post hits the nail on the head in part.

                    There are two main types of crazies who are obsessed with outward appearances, and I'm not sure they're uncommon, it's just a question of what stage of infection has reached.

                    One obsesses with team issues like the standings, winning at a tournament, and got soccer rankings. They ride the refs. All of this in spite of the fact that their kid is super talented. I'm convinced they just haven't grown out of this. When you've been there done that, it's easy to let go of that stuff and enjoy knowing what a great experience your kid is having.

                    The other crazies are far more dangerous, in spite of being much less obnoxious. They think their kid is super talented, but they aren't. They're constant passive-aggressive plotting mind is easy to spot, just listen to them talk about their kid's coach and teammates. They'll wreck anything, including their own kid's great experience, because everything is holding back the world knowing what they know.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      This post hits the nail on the head in part.

                      There are two main types of crazies who are obsessed with outward appearances, and I'm not sure they're uncommon, it's just a question of what stage of infection has reached.

                      One obsesses with team issues like the standings, winning at a tournament, and got soccer rankings. They ride the refs. All of this in spite of the fact that their kid is super talented. I'm convinced they just haven't grown out of this. When you've been there done that, it's easy to let go of that stuff and enjoy knowing what a great experience your kid is having.

                      The other crazies are far more dangerous, in spite of being much less obnoxious. They think their kid is super talented, but they aren't. They're constant passive-aggressive plotting mind is easy to spot, just listen to them talk about their kid's coach and teammates. They'll wreck anything, including their own kid's great experience, because everything is holding back the world knowing what they know.
                      Lowest level A team parents (the bench warmer, token minute kids) and certain B team parents tend to be the most insecure at any club. Parents' who are confident in their kids' abilities, or simply feel their kids are in the best place for them to be are more likely to be well balanced. Then, like you said there's the simply clueless (he was "offsideS) or wrongly focused ones (winning!).

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Lowest level A team parents (the bench warmer, token minute kids) and certain B team parents tend to be the most insecure at any club. Parents' who are confident in their kids' abilities, or simply feel their kids are in the best place for them to be are more likely to be well balanced. Then, like you said there's the simply clueless (he was "offsideS) or wrongly focused ones (winning!).
                        Bingo.

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                          #13
                          One bad apple can destroy a team. I have seen this happen at least three times. People will try to move on to just to escape. Why don't the clubs control thee cancers?

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            One bad apple can destroy a team. I have seen this happen at least three times. People will try to move on to just to escape. Why don't the clubs control thee cancers?
                            Very hard to spot a team-wrecker parent until after the damage is done (at which time it becomes very easy to see!) I think the bigger clubs control "pre-emptively" by trying to minimize parental involvement. There won't be a parent "team manager", or if there is it is in a very limited role; no engagement with the parents beyond logistics and finances; no facilitated socialization between parents--you don't have to "divide and conquer" if there is no bond; and the promotion of a competitive "I want my kid to move up to "A" team" mentality. The up-side of these "corporate memo" guidelines is that a "bad apple" parent gets no traction. The downside is that you miss out on a full "club" experience for the family and instead get a bland, "soccer service" product for the kid.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Lowest level A team parents (the bench warmer, token minute kids) and certain B team parents tend to be the most insecure at any club. Parents' who are confident in their kids' abilities, or simply feel their kids are in the best place for them to be are more likely to be well balanced. Then, like you said there's the simply clueless (he was "offsideS) or wrongly focused ones (winning!).
                              Sometimes the cancerous parent is the one with a kid in the top half of the team. He/she bad mouths other players encourages derision. Says team will lose games if his/her progeny is not on the pitch.

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