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    BTDT, please help

    No matter what anyone says, you have been through the college process with kids at least a few times and no doubt you have studied all of the issues related to kids on a path to be college athletes as much or more than anyone on this site. You also obviously have some name-brand clout.

    So I am interested in what you think we should do with our 12 year old daughter who is, at least in my mind, a pretty darn good little player who likely will be good enough to play in college but I highly doubt will rate for the D1 level. She's on a top NEFC team and for the past couple of years she and a friend of hers have been battling back and forth for one of the outside mid starting spots. Even when she doesn't start she still plays at least 50-60% of every game as our coach (excellent btw) shares the time for the two outside mid positions between four similarly talented girls. She's also very smart -- not a genius by any means, but has tested out with an IQ at 136 and is tracking to be in the mix among the top dozen or so students in our very good metrowest public school system. We could send her to an ISL but we just haven't seen the need, at least not yet, and all of her siblings have done well by the public school system.

    A little more background. Mom is a graduate of American and Villanova law school. She wasn't a college athlete. I went to Holy Cross where I played baseball and I have a MBA from BC. Our oldest, a son, is a senior at Northeastern, doing very well, but is not an athlete. Our oldest daughter is a sophomore at Middlebury and plays softball. I think she would have gotten in Middlebury or a comparable school anyway, but the softball definitely helped. And our other daughter is a freshmen at Union where she has a very healthy academic merit scholarship. She's playing field hockey but my guess is that she will drop that in the next year or two because the biomedical engineering program at Union is pretty tough and I think she likes to party a little bit.

    What do you think we should do with our 12 year old? She absolutely loves soccer, loves her team, teammates, and coaches, and overall we've been pretty happy with NEFC. She has zero interest in talking about college. She's smart like I said and pretty mature, but she's 12. My sense based on being a pretty tuned in parent and having gone through the college deal three times already, and talking to others who seem pretty objective, is that our daughter at a minimum should be a very solid to possibly very good D3 player. There are 3-4 girls on our NEFC team who clearly are the kids most would consider to be the possible D1 prospects. I know my kid is at least a half-notch below those players.

    What do you think we should do? She's having fun and getting better every year. We're not wealthy, but we can afford the cost. I admit I get annoyed at some of the "extras" that drive up the cost a little more than seems reasonable, but it's manageable and other than that I do wish we could have a few more normal family vacations. Do you think we are wasting our time? Should we see how the next couple of years go? Since she is a smart kid who probably will rate for a good D3 as far as soccer goes do you think her chances would be good to still play at a good to very good D3 if she drops club?

    Any help will be much appreciated.

    #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    No matter what anyone says, you have been through the college process with kids at least a few times and no doubt you have studied all of the issues related to kids on a path to be college athletes as much or more than anyone on this site. You also obviously have some name-brand clout.

    So I am interested in what you think we should do with our 12 year old daughter who is, at least in my mind, a pretty darn good little player who likely will be good enough to play in college but I highly doubt will rate for the D1 level. She's on a top NEFC team and for the past couple of years she and a friend of hers have been battling back and forth for one of the outside mid starting spots. Even when she doesn't start she still plays at least 50-60% of every game as our coach (excellent btw) shares the time for the two outside mid positions between four similarly talented girls. She's also very smart -- not a genius by any means, but has tested out with an IQ at 136 and is tracking to be in the mix among the top dozen or so students in our very good metrowest public school system. We could send her to an ISL but we just haven't seen the need, at least not yet, and all of her siblings have done well by the public school system.

    A little more background. Mom is a graduate of American and Villanova law school. She wasn't a college athlete. I went to Holy Cross where I played baseball and I have a MBA from BC. Our oldest, a son, is a senior at Northeastern, doing very well, but is not an athlete. Our oldest daughter is a sophomore at Middlebury and plays softball. I think she would have gotten in Middlebury or a comparable school anyway, but the softball definitely helped. And our other daughter is a freshmen at Union where she has a very healthy academic merit scholarship. She's playing field hockey but my guess is that she will drop that in the next year or two because the biomedical engineering program at Union is pretty tough and I think she likes to party a little bit.

    What do you think we should do with our 12 year old? She absolutely loves soccer, loves her team, teammates, and coaches, and overall we've been pretty happy with NEFC. She has zero interest in talking about college. She's smart like I said and pretty mature, but she's 12. My sense based on being a pretty tuned in parent and having gone through the college deal three times already, and talking to others who seem pretty objective, is that our daughter at a minimum should be a very solid to possibly very good D3 player. There are 3-4 girls on our NEFC team who clearly are the kids most would consider to be the possible D1 prospects. I know my kid is at least a half-notch below those players.

    What do you think we should do? She's having fun and getting better every year. We're not wealthy, but we can afford the cost. I admit I get annoyed at some of the "extras" that drive up the cost a little more than seems reasonable, but it's manageable and other than that I do wish we could have a few more normal family vacations. Do you think we are wasting our time? Should we see how the next couple of years go? Since she is a smart kid who probably will rate for a good D3 as far as soccer goes do you think her chances would be good to still play at a good to very good D3 if she drops club?

    Any help will be much appreciated.
    Have her play for Stars

    Comment


      #3
      Wow. I admire the time and energy put into the OP's imaginary scenario!

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Wow. I admire the time and energy put into the OP's imaginary scenario!
        No worries. We won't get a response from BTNT on this one, even though the issues involved are the ones he disses constantly. He just can't make up his mind and stay logical. He touted NEFC for not pushing D3 players into D1 commitments just to make the club look good (his whole "fit" rant and NEFC doing recruitment the "right way") but on the other hand he sure doesn't want any of these kids on his team. Too, too funny.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by header View Post
          Have her play for Stars
          I am curious about the Union freshman. Is it possible for her to continue with the field hockey team and still complete that major on time?

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            No matter what anyone says, you hattend ave been through the college process with kids at least a few times and no doubt you have studied all of the issues related to kids on a path to be college athletes as much or more than anyone on this site. You also obviously have some name-brand clout.

            So I am interested in what you think we should do with our 12 year old daughter who is, at least in my mind, a pretty darn good little player who likely will be good enough to play in college but I highly doubt will rate for the D1 level. She's on a top NEFC team and for the past couple of years she and a friend of hers have been battling back and forth for one of the outside mid starting spots. Even when she doesn't start she still plays at least 50-60% of every game as our coach (excellent btw) shares the time for the two outside mid positions between four similarly talented girls. She's also very smart -- not a genius by any means, but has tested out with an IQ at 136 and is tracking to be in the mix among the top dozen or so students in our very good metrowest public school system. We could send her to an ISL but we just haven't seen the need, at least not yet, and all of her siblings have done well by the public school system.

            A little more background. Mom is a graduate of American and Villanova law school. She wasn't a college athlete. I went to Holy Cross where I played baseball and I have a MBA from BC. Our oldest, a son, is a senior at Northeastern, doing very well, but is not an athlete. Our oldest daughter is a sophomore at Middlebury and plays softball. I think she would have gotten in Middlebury or a comparable school anyway, but the softball definitely helped. And our other daughter is a freshmen at Union where she has a very healthy academic merit scholarship. She's playing field hockey but my guess is that she will drop that in the next year or two because the biomedical engineering program at Union is pretty tough and I think she likes to party a little bit.

            What do you think we should do with our 12 year old? She absolutely loves soccer, loves her team, teammates, and coaches, and overall we've been pretty happy with NEFC. She has zero interest in talking about college. She's smart like I said and pretty mature, but she's 12. My sense based on being a pretty tuned in parent and having gone through the college deal three times already, and talking to others who seem pretty objective, is that our daughter at a minimum should be a very solid to possibly very good D3 player. There are 3-4 girls on our NEFC team who clearly are the kids most would consider to be the possible D1 prospects. I know my kid is at least a half-notch below those players.

            What do you think we should do? She's having fun and getting better every year. We're not wealthy, but we can afford the cost. I admit I get annoyed at some of the "extras" that drive up the cost a little more than seems reasonable, but it's manageable and other than that I do wish we could have a few more normal family vacations. Do you think we are wasting our time? Should we see how the next couple of years go? Since she is a smart kid who probably will rate for a good D3 as far as soccer goes do you think her chances would be good to still play at a good to very good D3 if she drops club?

            Any help will be much appreciated.
            If your daughter truly plays for Nefc and you need advices on this ,attend their very informative college workshop , ask him personally or any coach that coaches u15 and up. But since you are a hoax go fy.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              No matter what anyone says, you have been through the college process with kids at least a few times and no doubt you have studied all of the issues related to kids on a path to be college athletes as much or more than anyone on this site. You also obviously have some name-brand clout.

              So I am interested in what you think we should do with our 12 year old daughter who is, at least in my mind, a pretty darn good little player who likely will be good enough to play in college but I highly doubt will rate for the D1 level. She's on a top NEFC team and for the past couple of years she and a friend of hers have been battling back and forth for one of the outside mid starting spots. Even when she doesn't start she still plays at least 50-60% of every game as our coach (excellent btw) shares the time for the two outside mid positions between four similarly talented girls. She's also very smart -- not a genius by any means, but has tested out with an IQ at 136 and is tracking to be in the mix among the top dozen or so students in our very good metrowest public school system. We could send her to an ISL but we just haven't seen the need, at least not yet, and all of her siblings have done well by the public school system.

              A little more background. Mom is a graduate of American and Villanova law school. She wasn't a college athlete. I went to Holy Cross where I played baseball and I have a MBA from BC. Our oldest, a son, is a senior at Northeastern, doing very well, but is not an athlete. Our oldest daughter is a sophomore at Middlebury and plays softball. I think she would have gotten in Middlebury or a comparable school anyway, but the softball definitely helped. And our other daughter is a freshmen at Union where she has a very healthy academic merit scholarship. She's playing field hockey but my guess is that she will drop that in the next year or two because the biomedical engineering program at Union is pretty tough and I think she likes to party a little bit.

              What do you think we should do with our 12 year old? She absolutely loves soccer, loves her team, teammates, and coaches, and overall we've been pretty happy with NEFC. She has zero interest in talking about college. She's smart like I said and pretty mature, but she's 12. My sense based on being a pretty tuned in parent and having gone through the college deal three times already, and talking to others who seem pretty objective, is that our daughter at a minimum should be a very solid to possibly very good D3 player. There are 3-4 girls on our NEFC team who clearly are the kids most would consider to be the possible D1 prospects. I know my kid is at least a half-notch below those players.

              What do you think we should do? She's having fun and getting better every year. We're not wealthy, but we can afford the cost. I admit I get annoyed at some of the "extras" that drive up the cost a little more than seems reasonable, but it's manageable and other than that I do wish we could have a few more normal family vacations. Do you think we are wasting our time? Should we see how the next couple of years go? Since she is a smart kid who probably will rate for a good D3 as far as soccer goes do you think her chances would be good to still play at a good to very good D3 if she drops club?

              Any help will be much appreciated.
              The answer is remarkably simple. What does your daughter want? Does she have her own sense of where she is headed or is she like most every other 12 year old and following the path her parents and siblings have more or less laid out for her. If she does, then you already have your answers.

              If she doesn't, based upon the data points you laid out the path seems to be headed towards the D3 level as you seem to suspect. She certainly seems to have the smarts to be thinking about some of the top level schools but you are not painting a picture of a real top level soccer talent that is going to be able to use their soccer ability to open up opportunities at them. Maybe that is just my reading of your scenario though. I know that it is early in the game still so a lot comes down to how aggressive you want to be working on that possibility. Based upon the economic profile you gave, money doesn't seem to be an issue so you are probably not limited by that and can do pretty much what you want. The question really comes down to what feels right to you at this point? That is what you should do.

              I would simply caution that the path you are on with NEFC is not going to be for everyone and you should consider that the team you are currently on at 12 will not be the same team at 18. It won't even be the same by 14. Given the profile you gave, you probably should consider that your daughter might possibly be a bubble player and face getting cut down the road. How would that make all of you feel if that happened? I would suggest that you weigh that in figuring out where you are going. Another part of this is the middle school years are brutal in club soccer in general. At the level of team you are with it can be absolutely crazy making so you might want to really weigh whether that insanity is really worth where your daughter might be heading. A lot of families get lulled to sleep thinking that the group of kids/parents/coach they feel so comfortable with at 12 is going to be the same all the way through to 18. You are going to find that even if your daughter doesn't end up to be a bubble player that between now and 16 most of her friends on that team will likely end up leaving it. It is just the normal cycle of things. You have girls so you know how important team chemistry is. You can probably gauge who might be able to stick around and make some decision based upon them but you are not going to be able to choose who replaces those teammates that leave and I would suggest that adds some risk for you. Good luck.

              Comment


                #8
                Too funny. Bet that answer wasn't what he was expecting. Yet another big swing and a miss for Perspective. :)

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Too funny. Bet that answer wasn't what he was expecting. Yet another big swing and a miss for Perspective. :)
                  LOL! Too true! What a scumbag. Love it when it backfires in his face. Keep the Stars flag flying P.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Not very clever self-replies, BTNT.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      LMFAO. This is normally the point where Perspective either

                      A: Says btdt is being "duplicitious" and telling lies
                      B: Trots out another Suzy post to justify his own fictionalization practices
                      C: Trots out some other age old post that he thinks somehow proves that btdt actually feels a completely different way than above
                      D: Just rants for pages upon pages about how much of an a-hole he thinks btdt is
                      E: All of the above

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Not very clever self-replies, BTNT.
                        That's a good one. So now we have

                        F: Pretend that btdt actually started the thread as a set up to attack poor noble Perspective.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          For a guy that fancies himself as such a brilliant guy, Perspective sure does end up making an absolute fool out of himself when he tries in such obvious ways to bait others into responding.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            For a guy that fancies himself as such a brilliant guy, Perspective sure does end up making an absolute fool out of himself when he tries in such obvious ways to bait others into responding.
                            Just stop at makes a fool out of himself. That says it all.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Except it wasn't P. LOL! Will the ironies and absurdities never stop from you and your self-replies, BTNT?

                              Comment

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