Patience!

[Unregistered]

As a board member and coach - absolutely agree.

Every year there's a push for these younger athletic kids to be placed on the A/B team. Our system is rigged so that once you're on an A/B team you always are. I've seen what some consider great players at U8 plateau and other kids catch up by end of U10 or at U12. Yet parents/coaches have blinders on and remember how great he was at U8. Kids drop out in frustration and are done with soccer for life before even reaching middle school and sometimes puberty.

I've tried to make changes at the board level. It's a long if not impossible process.

Nail on head. Not long, just impossible.

Programs (town, club or school) RARELY demonstrate honest and objective standards where players move up AND down based merit and ability rather than tenure and age. We can debate the motives, I think it's adult ego crowding out youth development, but whatever they might be, player development on the whole suffers.

[Unregistered]

Not the OP but over the years I've had to re-adjust opinions of people based on their behavior regarding their kids' sports prowess (or lack there of). Seemingly nice, normal sane people are anything but that when it comes making sure little Mikey is captain of the HS team. I wonder what they will do with their time when their kids have moved out of the house (having gone no further than MAYBE playing a few years at a weak D3 school) and they have nothing else to obsess over?

What will you do?

[Unregistered]

Nail on head. Not long, just impossible.

Programs (town, club or school) RARELY demonstrate honest and objective standards where players move up AND down based merit and ability rather than tenure and age. We can debate the motives, I think it's adult ego crowding out youth development, but whatever they might be, player development on the whole suffers.

I have long given up on trying to change culture of any organization, especially in youth sports. When I feel that the environment is not conducive to fairness, or merit, I vote with my feet. As others have stated the process to influence change is either too long or impossible.

[Unregistered]

I have long given up on trying to change culture of any organization, especially in youth sports. When I feel that the environment is not conducive to fairness, or merit, I vote with my feet. As others have stated the process to influence change is either too long or impossible.

.. or it really just isn't that important to you. No offense but no one really admires quitters. Undoubtedly you got out of the experience what you wanted and now are content to just shake your head over all of the insanity. That is what most burnt out coaches do when the start to think of themselves as above the fray. Its actually ok, just don't expect admiration for it.

[Unregistered]

.. or it really just isn't that important to you. No offense but no one really admires quitters. Undoubtedly you got out of the experience what you wanted and now are content to just shake your head over all of the insanity. That is what most burnt out coaches do when the start to think of themselves as above the fray. Its actually ok, just don't expect admiration for it.

Dealing with small town nonsense, small club nonsense and selfish agendas is for masochists. Not for me. Call me a quitter if you want, I call it situational awareness.

[Unregistered]

Dealing with small town nonsense, small club nonsense and selfish agendas is for masochists. Not for me. Call me a quitter if you want, I call it situational awareness.

Let's be real shall we, you're the player who quits when the going gets tough and your cynicism is nothing but balm for your wounded ego.

[Unregistered]

.. or it really just isn't that important to you. No offense but no one really admires quitters. Undoubtedly you got out of the experience what you wanted and now are content to just shake your head over all of the insanity. That is what most burnt out coaches do when the start to think of themselves as above the fray. Its actually ok, just don't expect admiration for it.

Not the person you are responding to, but the person who posted above about trying to make a change within the board.

Your comment is a tough one to swallow. While I agree in most part, it's been a long road trying to get change to happen.

I'm at the point where I put way more into soccer and the board than into other things in life. I often talk of quitting and get why people/others do.

All that being said, how do we get things to change? Town level, club level, state level, as coaches?

Both my sons had an amazing town coach back in the beginning of U10. He played everyone equally and in all positions. I think we lost every game. At the time, I didn't know better and was frustrated as a parent. As I became more involved, I really got him and what he was doing. I started coaching and later joined the board. This particular coach became frustrated with the town system and quit.

To this day, this has been the best coach my boys have had. With that year with him, they both grew their technical skills at an amazing rate. They grew tactical awareness as well. He said it was just their time to grow. While that might be part of it, I'm confident that it wouldn't have happened under another coach. These coaches are rare and I would follow him anywhere if I could.

So I ask again, HOW do we make a change?

[Unregistered]

.. or it really just isn't that important to you. No offense but no one really admires quitters. Undoubtedly you got out of the experience what you wanted and now are content to just shake your head over all of the insanity. That is what most burnt out coaches do when the start to think of themselves as above the fray. Its actually ok, just don't expect admiration for it.

Classic TS response. Different poster than your response is directed at, but I've been there, done that. I went the consensus-building, lead, take a principled stand route. And NOW I take the arm's length, selfish, get what I need out of it.

There's a reason why bureaucracies are grossly corrupt and inefficient and it is NOT the fault of the vanguards or whistleblowers who don't help others evolve and change their ways, it's the fault of those who by their own free will choose inefficiency and corruption for self-serving purposes over change for the greater good.

[Unregistered]

Not the person you are responding to, but the person who posted above about trying to make a change within the board.

Your comment is a tough one to swallow. While I agree in most part, it's been a long road trying to get change to happen.

I'm at the point where I put way more into soccer and the board than into other things in life. I often talk of quitting and get why people/others do.

All that being said, how do we get things to change? Town level, club level, state level, as coaches?

Both my sons had an amazing town coach back in the beginning of U10. He played everyone equally and in all positions. I think we lost every game. At the time, I didn't know better and was frustrated as a parent. As I became more involved, I really got him and what he was doing. I started coaching and later joined the board. This particular coach became frustrated with the town system and quit.

To this day, this has been the best coach my boys have had. With that year with him, they both grew their technical skills at an amazing rate. They grew tactical awareness as well. He said it was just their time to grow. While that might be part of it, I'm confident that it wouldn't have happened under another coach. These coaches are rare and I would follow him anywhere if I could.

So I ask again, HOW do we make a change?

This is half the problem with our society right now. We expect instant gratification or we quit. You may not see the change yourself but your work could absolutely could be invaluable for the next group. Change is a tough thing and not everyone has the talent to effect it but that shouldn't mean that we just roll over and accept the battle is over.

[Unregistered]

Classic TS response. Different poster than your response is directed at, but I've been there, done that. I went the consensus-building, lead, take a principled stand route. And NOW I take the arm's length, selfish, get what I need out of it.

There's a reason why bureaucracies are grossly corrupt and inefficient and it is NOT the fault of the vanguards or whistleblowers who don't help others evolve and change their ways, it's the fault of those who by their own free will choose inefficiency and corruption for self-serving purposes over change for the greater good.

Your last statement was right on the money. Just recognize that your pov now is part of the problem and you shouldn't feel that you are owed anything because of your previous efforts/failures. Your public displays of cynicism certainly were not rightfully earned by them.

[Unregistered]

Let's be real shall we, you're the player who quits when the going gets tough and your cynicism is nothing but balm for your wounded ego.

You are a true hero. They should put a statue on the town green for you (you might have to pay for it, plus installation). Your commitment to the local youth (and to make sure Jimmy got on the A team) is honorable. Gotta go, I have a tee time.

[Unregistered]

This is half the problem with our society right now. We expect instant gratification or we quit. You may not see the change yourself but your work could absolutely could be invaluable for the next group. Change is a tough thing and not everyone has the talent to effect it but that shouldn't mean that we just roll over and accept the battle is over.

Where in this discussion is the inference of "instant gratification" valid? I spent YEARS on a youth soccer board, in addition to coaching for more than a decade. I eventually quit the board and continued coaching because I wanted to volunteer, benefit the kids and enjoyed both. That crap with adults who can't have a conversation for the benefit of others over their own ego wasn't something I had much patience for after months and months and months of meetings that were at best not nearly as productive as they should have been, but probably much worse in reality. NONE of that experience had anything to do with a need for instant gratification or quitting.

It's not a short-lived zero-sum process. For anyone who's experienced it, it's a long grind. You do what you can, then they lose you. I recently saw a list of the parents who have volunteered to serve on our youth soccer board. It had to be 50 people. Yet, our board makes the Supreme Court look like it has term limits. Lifers. What does that tell you that there are people lining up out the door to get in, but a core group of people can't let go of the reigns?

[Unregistered]

Because I really don't want your kid to develop. Your kid will end up competing with my kid for a spot on the travel team, a spot on the top local club team, the starting center mid position on that club team, a spot on a destination club team, the high school team, an invitation to an I.D. camp, some good press in the local paper, a college scholarship offer, a starting spot on the college team. Your kid and my kid are competitors, at least in my eyes. It's an arms race, and if my kid starts out bigger and stronger, and your kid falls by the way side because he develops a bit slower, then my kid wins. After my kid is safely ahead, I'll root for your kid to become good enough to be a supporting player on one of my kid's teams.

This is our culture, and it's why youth sports are set up the way they are.

This is exactly right. Our son stopped playing town soccer after U10.

The politics of the Board members became too much. Parents who were so hell-bent on promoting their own kids lost sight of the big picture. It's odd that many players are pegged as being "great" or "bad" starting at 6-7 years old, because those same kids are categorized as such all the way through U14. Some kids who were big and athletic - but not skilled - are kept on the A team for years even though they are basically big brutes on the field who don't know the game.

Why would you consider that "quitting" if we stopped supporting town soccer? Our son has more time to focus on club and extra clinics. He chose to stop town because it was frustrating, and we didn't want him playing 7 days a week. He loves club and has fun, loves his coach and has a blast with his teammates.

Feel free to call that "quitting." A number of kids in our town are leaving town and only focusing on club, and they are the best players in our city. There's a reason for that, and I don't think it's sour grapes or throwing a tantrum.

[Unregistered]

Your last statement was right on the money. Just recognize that your pov now is part of the problem and you shouldn't feel that you are owed anything because of your previous efforts/failures. Your public displays of cynicism certainly were not rightfully earned by them.

Maybe I'm misreading your comments, but I'm not sure how your first sentence isn't contradicted by the last two.

I think my assessment of bureaucracies was reasonably accurate. I can have my point of view about the organization as a whole, but still be a participant in my own space within it (I coach my teams, it's a positive experience for everyone involved, in spite of the organizational failures which I'm not obligated to fix). I absolutely don't feel I'm owed anything, but the paying parents and playing children are; this is the inescapable truth. The non-profit has a fiduciary responsibility to those people and being "good enough" in some collection of individuals' minds isn't a reasonable excuse for not being better. I respectfully disagree that my experience, a very common one among those who've come and gone from our board over the years (as opposed to those who've hung around), resulted in cynicism that is anything but misguided. They earned it alright.

[Unregistered]

are you kidding me? 50% couples got divorce and I am sure marriage is pretty important to most of them. Have you ever truly changed the behavior of your spouse? Good luck dealing with a bunch of morons in an organization.

.. or it really just isn't that important to you. No offense but no one really admires quitters. Undoubtedly you got out of the experience what you wanted and now are content to just shake your head over all of the insanity. That is what most burnt out coaches do when the start to think of themselves as above the fray. Its actually ok, just don't expect admiration for it.