Dad Coaches at Club and High School

[Guest]

A dad can be a coach but not coach his kid. There are many good Dad coaches but none of them should coach their own child. Way to many things could happen.

[Guest]

A dad can be a coach but not coach his kid. There are many good Dad coaches but none of them should coach their own child. Way to many things could happen.

Few parent coaches want to coach other teams. This isn't their profession. Having different schedules than their kids only adds to already hectic lives. I know what you're saying, but most times parent coaches are fine. Its team parents that automatically assume the coach's kid will be favored. Given them a chance until proven otherwise

[Guest]

I've seen a dad coach absolutely destroy a Futsal club.

He coached is daughters Futsal team and somehow got all the players on her field team to play Futsal. During games he would 100% favor his kid. It was ridiculous to watch (we'd see them at tournaments sometimes). His kid was OK but small Latin. I heard from other parents he would "punish" players in practice if the field coach started them over his kid or they got more minutes etc. He'd do this by making the girl do more sprints or telling them that they were doing things wrong when they weren't. The club was always recruiting new players. If the Dad coach liked them for his kids team they could play. If he didn't like the kid he'd run them until they quit. Oh, almost forgot he would pull the girls aside after games and dig into them if they lost.

I don't know why the Futsal club kept him around because in 2 years he pushed away more players than he kept. Even after they booted him nobody would play for the club because of all the rumors. I think the club folded last year.

Just to be even more fun this same Dad has club hopped his u14 kid to 5+ different field clubs. Everywhere he goes something blows up or parents fight or coaches get fired. People have finally figured him out and I don't think he's got any options left on club hopping or coaching.

[Guest]

If you like these coaches, then you will love the:
1) Dad Coach coaching multiple teams/age groups
2) with multiple kids at different age groups genders
3) who is the doc for their town’s travel and shovels many kids toward the club

What could go wrong in talent management in early ages at the club?!?

[Guest]

If the implicit bias is that Dads (or Moms for that matter) are unable to coach a team without favoring their own child, then you will undoubtedly find examples to support your line of thinking. However, if we are more generous with our assumptions about the things that may motivate a parent to coach their child's team, then we might discover things aren't necessarily bad. Perhaps a parent possesses a spirit of community volunteerism that is not just centered on soccer; perhaps a parent has been asked by the local club to fill a coaching void; perhaps a parent is actually a skillful, experienced coach looking to help youngsters learn more about the game; etc. Are there some parents pursuing a self-serving angle, likely, but my sense is that many of them are also well-intentioned adults looking to share their interest in the game.

[Guest]

If the implicit bias is that Dads (or Moms for that matter) are unable to coach a team without favoring their own child, then you will undoubtedly find examples to support your line of thinking. However, if we are more generous with our assumptions about the things that may motivate a parent to coach their child's team, then we might discover things aren't necessarily bad. Perhaps a parent possesses a spirit of community volunteerism that is not just centered on soccer; perhaps a parent has been asked by the local club to fill a coaching void; perhaps a parent is actually a skillful, experienced coach looking to help youngsters learn more about the game; etc. Are there some parents pursuing a self-serving angle, likely, but my sense is that many of them are also well-intentioned adults looking to share their interest in the game.

There are WAY more parents trying to do the right thing than there are a Marinovich out there.

[Guest]

There are WAY more parents trying to do the right thing than there are a Marinovich out there.

What you don't understand is the higher the level of competition. The crazier the parents can be. Especially when they're young.

I agree that if you look at all soccer parents as a whole that coach their kids team most are reasonable.

However as you up the level of competition you also up the level of crazy. Just like the team manager role being a coach attracts parents that want to be in control of the team. They want a way to guarantee minutes, positions, etc for their kid in an environment where players might get cut because of performance.

See how it works?

In American Football almost every quarterback had a dad coach when they were young. Exact same situation.

[Guest]

If you like these coaches, then you will love the:
1) Dad Coach coaching multiple teams/age groups
2) with multiple kids at different age groups genders
3) who is the doc for their town’s travel and shovels many kids toward the club

What could go wrong in talent management in early ages at the club?!?

Wow worst case scenario

[Guest]

What you don't understand is the higher the level of competition. The crazier the parents can be. Especially when they're young.

I agree that if you look at all soccer parents as a whole that coach their kids team most are reasonable.

However as you up the level of competition you also up the level of crazy. Just like the team manager role being a coach attracts parents that want to be in control of the team. They want a way to guarantee minutes, positions, etc for their kid in an environment where players might get cut because of performance.

See how it works?

In American Football almost every quarterback had a dad coach when they were young. Exact same situation.

Again, way more reasonable but unreasonable. But the knowledge of how much scrutiny you are under to not play favorites means often treating your own kid worse just to keep parents quiet. So they win and your own kid loses. Not fun.

[Guest]

What you don't understand is the higher the level of competition. The crazier the parents can be. Especially when they're young.

I agree that if you look at all soccer parents as a whole that coach their kids team most are reasonable.

However as you up the level of competition you also up the level of crazy. Just like the team manager role being a coach attracts parents that want to be in control of the team. They want a way to guarantee minutes, positions, etc for their kid in an environment where players might get cut because of performance.

See how it works?

In American Football almost every quarterback had a dad coach when they were young. Exact same situation.

I found travel/low level club parents to be worse. They knew less about the game and were the worst possible evaluators of their kids skills.

[Guest]

lol brent

[Guest]

Or Mom coaches FWIW! I was a coach (former college soccer player) and quit because at least 50% of the parents took any joy out of the experience. Didn't matter how tightly you tried to manage them, level set expectations from the start of the season, were harder on your own kid/benched them more than their kids, etc. the parents still complained. It was never-ending and outside of maybe youth soccer (up until about 4th grade), it was not an ideal experience.

[Guest]

Or Mom coaches FWIW! I was a coach (former college soccer player) and quit because at least 50% of the parents took any joy out of the experience. Didn't matter how tightly you tried to manage them, level set expectations from the start of the season, were harder on your own kid/benched them more than their kids, etc. the parents still complained. It was never-ending and outside of maybe youth soccer (up until about 4th grade), it was not an ideal experience.

Yes, very true and this is the society we live in unfortunately. But the way I see it, when I sign up to coach, I sign up for all of it, the good and the bad. Just like a police officer, a nurse, a teacher... you can't pick just the good "stuff". It's all part of the experience. And you'll end up a stronger human being because of it.

[Guest]

I've coached teams with my daughter on it and I have coached teams without my daughter. Either case I coach the same way. Some people handle it better than others, no doubt about that. But I probably would not have gotten into coaching if not for my kids and we have many good coaches that started that way. The reality is that some people criticize coaches mainly because their kid isn't being successful and they need someone to blame. Dad coaches are an easy target but I will take those over some of these coaches right out of college with no clue on how to connect with kids.

[Guest]

Yes, very true and this is the society we live in unfortunately. But the way I see it, when I sign up to coach, I sign up for all of it, the good and the bad. Just like a police officer, a nurse, a teacher... you can't pick just the good "stuff". It's all part of the experience. And you'll end up a stronger human being because of it.

Agreed! I put a good 12 years in between my three kids and then served on youth sports boards, etc. I totally agree that it all comes with the territory and unfortunately the reality of parent behavior isn't going away and seems to be only getting worse. I had had regular communication with my teams with guidelines around kid/parent behavior and impact on playing time. That typically worked really well, but there were always a few rouge parents who stood out each season.