When parents change during tryouts

[Guest]

That's what some don't realize. Just because someone spends hundreds of hours within the same facility doesn't make them lifelong friends. They could be, but they don't have to be. I guess that hurts some people.

kinda where we were at. had drinks with a couple of parents, mostly didn't spend much time with the rest. Found more than a few rather obnoxious flapping their gums all day. Those are the ones that are shocked to find out others left since they spent way too much time talking and not enough time listening.

[Guest]

my friggin' gawd some people are so nosey just do your thing and who cares what others do/ stop taking it so personally

I'm not advocating being "nosy" but I would recommend keeping your ears and eyes open for signs of a large exodus. We got caught in a team collapse (and ultimately club implosion a year later) and had to scramble at the last minute because we weren't proactive.

[Guest]

I'm not advocating being "nosy" but I would recommend keeping your ears and eyes open for signs of a large exodus. We got caught in a team collapse (and ultimately club implosion a year later) and had to scramble at the last minute because we weren't proactive.

If we were asked our plans, I possibly would tell them. Depends on the person, honestly. Some I couldn't wait to get away from so likely would be vague. Others I would be honest with. Reality is, nobody asked and we didn't offer, I think our leaving was a big surprise. Afterwards, who we expected to reached out and we remain friends with them. Others went silent, but I will still be the bigger person (and have) and said hello, etc. when we did see them.

[Guest]

We get it. You feel the need to come on here and post to justify, to yourself, your complete self-centeredness and selfishness. It makes you feel better about yourself and the decisions you have made, and the "sad reality" you have created for yourself with those decisions.

You clearly got left behind at some lol, it privacy ultimately and everyone has different levels of it. Keep to yourself and only cheer your kid on, the club stuff is a pyramid scheme but a necessary ill for high level competitions for college scouts to come watch

[Guest]

The same people who are offended that they were not privately consulted are on here publicly airing their grievances. I think the private people chose wisely.

[Guest]

Seems we can sum up the reasoning to be open and honest about your family's plans:

* is to avoid making the neighborhood bbq's awkward
* because some don't want to be left behind
* they liked the way things were and are resistant to change
* they now have to find a whole new group of people to bore

Not much about the actual kid in these discussions

[Guest]

I'm not advocating being "nosy" but I would recommend keeping your ears and eyes open for signs of a large exodus. We got caught in a team collapse (and ultimately club implosion a year later) and had to scramble at the last minute because we weren't proactive.

Happened to us once as well. Lesson learned, but that doesn't mean we talk openly about possible move plans with others. I definitely wouldn't tell just anyone and only a few trusted ones if they asked us. It's weird and awkward but I also get why people are uncomfortable.

Tell the coach first - #1 rule.

[Guest]

We get it. You feel the need to come on here and post to justify, to yourself, your complete self-centeredness and selfishness. It makes you feel better about yourself and the decisions you have made, and the "sad reality" you have created for yourself with those decisions.

It isn't self centered to look out for ones own kid's best interest and to just enjoy watching him/her play. The problem with someone like you is you believe everyone should, by extension of their kids playing together, be friends on the sideline.

The OP has the right approach. Personally, I view the sideline as not much different than the workplace. I certainly do my best to enjoy the parents and I will hang out with the parents I get along with but the time spent is fleeting. Kids change clubs, teams throughout the process. Nothing is forever and when I run into parents from past teams I'm always friendly but at the end of the day, it is my kids experience not mine.

[Guest]

Yes view club soccer like a restaurant. You are all paying customers there at the same time. While some parents may enjoy the environment or others may not. While there some parents will interact with others and have a good time.
Just like a restaurant when asked if they will come back most say yes just just because it’s an simple answer while never planing to come back.
It’s not to be sneaky two-faced mean it’s just answer that most want to hear and doesn’t start trouble. It also leaves the door open to return. You don’t burn a bridge till you cross it.

[Guest]

It isn't self centered to look out for ones own kid's best interest and to just enjoy watching him/her play. The problem with someone like you is you believe everyone should, by extension of their kids playing together, be friends on the sideline.

The OP has the right approach. Personally, I view the sideline as not much different than the workplace. I certainly do my best to enjoy the parents and I will hang out with the parents I get along with but the time spent is fleeting. Kids change clubs, teams throughout the process. Nothing is forever and when I run into parents from past teams I'm always friendly but at the end of the day, it is my kids experience not mine.

And your kids won't stay close with most players either, maybe just a few.

[Guest]

I have become real friends with quite a few parents from club soccer over the years. We get together over the summer, spend time at each other's homes, text regularly. It is hard not to bond when you spend so much time traveling on overnights and to tournaments together. Maybe we won't stay friends forever- who knows?- but what's wrong with that? It doesn't mean it's not worth it now. We spend so much time at soccer. Why not enjoy it?

[Guest]

I have become real friends with quite a few parents from club soccer over the years. We get together over the summer, spend time at each other's homes, text regularly. It is hard not to bond when you spend so much time traveling on overnights and to tournaments together. Maybe we won't stay friends forever- who knows?- but what's wrong with that? It doesn't mean it's not worth it now. We spend so much time at soccer. Why not enjoy it?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. There's also nothing wrong with keeping your life private, either. Some are having a hard time grasping that concept.

[Guest]

our small club will lose 4-5 girls from U11 to U13. Of the 5, there are usually 2 that are pretty good, and 3 more brought along for "car pooling". The top 2 usually stay with it. One will be ECNL, and the other will be ECRL (and think they will get a D1 scholarship). The "car pooling" girls usually give up soccer after a year or 2 since they will not have much playing time and spend too much time travelling (not just to games, but the new clubs are usually further away, that is why the "good" players convince others to join for the car pool

[Guest]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. There's also nothing wrong with keeping your life private, either. Some are having a hard time grasping that concept.

and some people you simply won't click with. nothing wrong with that either.