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    #16
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    OP here. Thanks to all of the responses, which have been very helpful. Looking at them helps me clarify my thinking some. I am talking more about developing an assertive player (rather than an overly aggressive one). Is it confidence and can that be taught? Have coaches/parents seen players become more assertive? Was it just maturation or coaching?

    I'm not sure it can be taught. I think it's a function of personality honestly. My son plays center mid for a U-14 Div 1 MAPLE team. He's not a big kid, in fact, I'd guess that two thirds of the squad are taller than he is. But he is very assertive and always has been. From day one, he was rough and tumble and had a natural affinity for anything physical. He's very direct and even a little nasty on the field - which translates into a lot of won balls and bids initiated by my son. He will routinely win the ball from bigger stronger players - some of that is a function of skill and quickness (both of which he's blessed with), but the desire to challenge a larger, stronger player isn't something you can teach - you either have it or you don't. He is an enforcer too. That's the funny thing. Some of you, particularly the U-10/U-11 parents, will be shocked - but you haven't seen enough of the game to realize that with boys (can't speak about girls as I don't have a daughter) the game becomes very physical around U-13. At that point, puberty begins to hit and boys begin to grow into their bodies and the testosterone just explodes. At that age, a little bit of plain, honest-to-goodness nastiness is a real asset and when you combine it with skill, quickness, field vision and a decent soccer IQ, you can have a complete player.

    Confidence - I think - is a little different. You can teach a player to not be intimidated (this will happen naturally as the player becomes more skilled) and to play with composure, but what we're talking about here goes beyond that. It's the desire to go in hard on every tackle and to do virtually anything to win the ball - that attribute, I don't believe, can be taught. You either have it or you don't.

    Anyway, interesting thread. I'd be interested to read what others think.

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      #17
      Anything can be taught.
      It comes down to the individual's willingness & committment.
      Look at Danielson in the Karate Kid vs the Kobra Kai's. Mr Miyagi taught him well.

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        #18
        I use the word, stolen from Nike ads, Fierce. Any player, any size can be fierce. It doesn't imply a headhunter attitude only that you will play at a level of intensity and purpose to get the job done. Tenacious and fierce are what I'd aim for.

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          #19
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Anything can be taught.
          It comes down to the individual's willingness & committment.
          Look at Danielson in the Karate Kid vs the Kobra Kai's. Mr Miyagi taught him well.
          No, anything cannot be taught. This is the best reason to have more than one kid. They are all different and it is a common new parent mistake to think you can mold them to your desired ideal child. You can't. You can figure out who THEY are, how they are wired, and what their natural strengths and weaknesses are, and then help them bloom as happy, emotionally stable adults. Or you can project onto them what you want them to become that would make you feel good about being their parent, and then proceed to make them feel totally inadequate when they fail to thrive in the inappropriate environment you chose for them. In other words, you can't change them but you can really mess them up. Sadly I've noticed that if you were messed up this way by your parents, you are more likely to make the same mistake with your kids.

          If your kid is not naturally aggressive, you can help them become strong, fit, skilled and confident. You can also make them angry and insecure. You can even make them hate your guts. But you can't make them aggressive. That's mother nature's territory.

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            #20
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Anything can be taught.
            It comes down to the individual's willingness & committment.
            Look at Danielson in the Karate Kid vs the Kobra Kai's. Mr Miyagi taught him well.
            Daniel-san, please!

            Comment


              #21
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              If your kid is not naturally aggressive, you can help them become strong, fit, skilled and confident. You can also make them angry and insecure. You can even make them hate your guts. But you can't make them aggressive. That's mother nature's territory.
              This is unfortunately true. Some of us have twins and even though they've always played on the same club teams, one plays his *** off and the other plays in a more laid back, cerebral manner. Ultimately, you need to hope your kids are having fun and encourage them to maximize their own potential.

              Parents of younger kids (say up to about 14 or so) often have this misconception that if they could just find the right coach or the right training strategy that any child can be turned into Leo Messi or Lebron James. Sometimes, though, nature trumps nuture.

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                #22
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Anything can be taught.
                It comes down to the individual's willingness & committment.
                Look at Danielson in the Karate Kid vs the Kobra Kai's. Mr Miyagi taught him well.
                You know when some guy points to Hollywood scripts as sound parenting advice, his kids are in serious trouble! Hopefully this is exactly what it reads like -- a post by a bored 14 year old.

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Anything can be taught.
                  It comes down to the individual's willingness & committment.
                  Look at Danielson in the Karate Kid vs the Kobra Kai's. Mr Miyagi taught him well.
                  Good post I was going to suggest she train with Mr Miyagi too. I think the Crane move would be a dangerous play though. Wax on Wax off.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    I wouldn't agree that aggressiveness is completely down to mother nature. As with 99% of individual characteristics, the ability to be aggressive on the field is a trait that can be nurtured, given the right environment.

                    Certainly being physically fitter and having a strong core will have an effect on how well you will fare in challenges, but athleticism and assertiveness are not mutually inclusive. In many cases it is the more physically developed players that will attempt to win a challenge by poking a toe at the ball.

                    Dependent upon age, the best way to help a player become more aggressive is to build confidence and show them the success that comes from aggressive play on the field. A good coach will recognize individual strengths and weaknesses and give feedback and encouragement appropriately.

                    Unfortunately size and strength do play an important role when it comes to aggressive play, if a young player (especially boys) is not taught how and when to challenge for a ball correctly when they are a physical match to their opponents, then it is unlikely that they will become an "aggressive player" as they play more physically developed opponents.

                    In essence, you have to teach a player to become aggressive before they can get hurt from playing in such a manner. Taking a shot into the nether regions from 2 yards at 8 years old doesn't hurt, neither does being kneed in the leg by a kid weighing 50lb. At age 14 it does, this is why you see a lot of players at this age, holding back from challenges, or not playing in what is deemed to be an assertive manner.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      Good post I was going to suggest she train with Mr Miyagi too. I think the Crane move would be a dangerous play though. Wax on Wax off.
                      Too many handballs. The "Rocky" screenplay as parenting guide might work better for this sport. Key use of stair training and the loser still "wins".

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        No, anything cannot be taught. This is the best reason to have more than one kid. They are all different and it is a common new parent mistake to think you can mold them to your desired ideal child. You can't. You can figure out who THEY are, how they are wired, and what their natural strengths and weaknesses are, and then help them bloom as happy, emotionally stable adults. Or you can project onto them what you want them to become that would make you feel good about being their parent, and then proceed to make them feel totally inadequate when they fail to thrive in the inappropriate environment you chose for them. In other words, you can't change them but you can really mess them up. Sadly I've noticed that if you were messed up this way by your parents, you are more likely to make the same mistake with your kids.

                        If your kid is not naturally aggressive, you can help them become strong, fit, skilled and confident. You can also make them angry and insecure. You can even make them hate your guts. But you can't make them aggressive. That's mother nature's territory.
                        Sure you can make em aggressive, to what extent is debateable.
                        Progress can be made as long as one can get inside the individuals head & what is used in their bag of tricks. There is no one answer, it's all relative & most coaches don't have the time to spend trying. My kid was quite timid 2 years back & now is bumping kids off the ball quite often. It's the same argument when one says that you can't teach speed. Most coaches are to eager to label & not pursue a harder task in development but progress can be made as long as the kid really wants to commit. Don't be too eager to say it can't be done unless you've gone the distance.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          a must they have to be agreessive

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                            #28
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Sure you can make em aggressive, to what extent is debateable.
                            Progress can be made as long as one can get inside the individuals head & what is used in their bag of tricks. There is no one answer, it's all relative & most coaches don't have the time to spend trying. My kid was quite timid 2 years back & now is bumping kids off the ball quite often. It's the same argument when one says that you can't teach speed. Most coaches are to eager to label & not pursue a harder task in development but progress can be made as long as the kid really wants to commit. Don't be too eager to say it can't be done unless you've gone the distance.
                            The kind of speed and aggression that really make a difference are innate. The kind of fitness and confidence that are game changers are created. Together they make a great player. Any one of these traits alone won't cut it.

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