NEFC u11 coach classless

[Unregistered]

It's a growing youth sports issue that is in need of discussion and a solution that puts higher expectations for appropriate behavior on coaching staff. So, for you to try and sweep it under the rug as NOT being the reality is very telling. Are you sure it's not you who is doing the yelling and proving your own point?

No I am not yelling but the fact that the major discussion points on here is about elementary school kids playing a game where parents shell out thousands of dollars for them to play and then they come on here to bash each other.......sit back and think about it for a moment and then maybe, just maybe it may sink in.

[Unregistered]

The problem is much bigger then NB or NEFC; it is rampant thoughout all the clubs. We have allowed the emphasis on winning to over shadow all other rational thought, and don't tell us that NEP is the answer when the same clowns are running that show. The game needs to be brought back to the grass roots level where the majority of children just play. Do you really need a so-called "professional" to teach a hook turn from a pullback. I fail to see the reliance on these coaches in other sports. Are AAU basketball coaches at the youth level calling themselves "pros" or raking in thousands of dollars. How about the good travel softball teams in your area? How many of them are hiring former players from the Dominican Republic? Yet, these programs survive and prosper. The elite player will always get the training they seek. The majority of the players in Mass. are not "premier" and are being sold a bill of goods.

If you think this stuff only applies to youth soccer, then you need to investigate what's going on with AAU sports. Let me tell you it's no different and a lot of times worse. At least soccer is training to get their coaches educated. In those sports, anyone who has played in the neighborhood considers himself an "expert".

[Unregistered]

No I am not yelling but the fact that the major discussion points on here is about elementary school kids playing a game where parents shell out thousands of dollars for them to play and then they come on here to bash each other.......sit back and think about it for a moment and then maybe, just maybe it may sink in.

For better or worse, that seems to be the way much of today's life issues involving parents has evolved. In a more complex world, where people feel less and less power to intiate change, or to have a voice , they react more strongly to the thinsg most close to them, the lives of their children. In this case, they feel they may actually have a chance a tthe control abilities that they may lack in other concerns.

[Unregistered]

U11.......5th graders...........enough said.

Yes correct..it is U11 soccer, and coaches, players, and parents should show restraint and respect for the referee. But it is not 'enough said' as your arrogant ass would like to believe. 'Enough said' may apply to town soccer where you have young refs (U12-U15) trained for 4- 8 hours. However, this isn't town soccer and the fact (however disgusting it is to you) is that parents, coaches, and clubs are involved in a huge business that includes, and demands expectations that the quality of service would be optimal and, when not, it could be checked and adjusted as needed.
A bad ref is just as injurious to the system as a bad coach. For both, there needs to be checks, evaluations, praise when earned, re-education when needed, and firing when appropriate.
A bad coach makes the club look very bad.
A bad ref makes MYSA and/or Lancaster look very bad.

[Unregistered]

Yes correct..it is U11 soccer, and coaches, players, and parents should show restraint and respect for the referee. But it is not 'enough said' as your arrogant ass would like to believe. 'Enough said' may apply to town soccer where you have young refs (U12-U15) trained for 4- 8 hours. However, this isn't town soccer and the fact (however disgusting it is to you) is that parents, coaches, and clubs are involved in a huge business that includes, and demands expectations that the quality of service would be optimal and, when not, it could be checked and adjusted as needed.
A bad ref is just as injurious to the system as a bad coach. For both, there needs to be checks, evaluations, praise when earned, re-education when needed, and firing when appropriate.
A bad coach makes the club look very bad.
A bad ref makes MYSA and/or Lancaster look very bad.

Anger management for you my friend. Besides, you just proved a great point. You are yet another parent hoodwinked by the club scene.

[Unregistered]

Anger management for you my friend. Besides, you just proved a great point. You are yet another parent hoodwinked by the club scene.

Indeed.

[Unregistered]

Indeed.

If I had to guess, the anger management parent is the type who blames everything on everyone else but themselves. the kid is never at fault, it is always some one else.

[Unregistered]

It's a growing youth sports issue that is in need of discussion and a solution that puts higher expectations for appropriate behavior on coaching staff. So, for you to try and sweep it under the rug as NOT being the reality is very telling. Are you sure it's not you who is doing the yelling and proving your own point?

I coached town travel in BAYS for many years as a decidedly non-professional parent volunteer. They had what I felt was a very effective policy in regards to communication between coaches and Refs, which was one of "zero tolerance." Not that it didn't get broken from time to time, but at least everyone knew the rule. Leave a coach with some gray area, especially with a young Ref in charge, and it's a recipe for the sort of incident that occurred between NEFC and SSS on Sunday. Moreover, a single ref can never benefit from the 'mass perspective' that is afforded to a group of parents, players or coaches who are spread out along the touchline.

Was it hard for me to hold my tongue sometimes, no question, particularly in the first couple of years of coaching before I internalized the fact that mistakes are made and that they tend to go both ways in roughly even numbers. Once you get your head around that fact, then you can focus on coaching your team and roll with the referee calls, whatever they may be. If, in the opinion of the coach, a referee was calling a truly unsafe game, then it was always the prerogative of the coach to simply pull his team from the field and file any grievances with the league referee coordinator.

Now, before some of you say that BAYS is not as competitive as MAPLE and that MAPLE is just a different kettle of fish, realize two things; (1.) the kids playing in BAYS are the same ages as those we're talking about here in MAPLE (i.e., they're young, not professionals!) and (2.) it's a fact that a number of the kids on just about any MAPLE club team also play for their town teams in BAYS or similar, meaning there is some of the same parent group on the sidelines on Saturdays that are there on Sundays. The competitive personalities in the mix have a way of projecting that sensibility onto their kids, regardless of the venue. Do these parents and kids avoid town soccer like it's the black plague, because it's not competitive enough, or insists on enforcing annoying rules like "no yelling at refs?" On the contrary.

To this day, it still makes me uncomfortable to hear a coach or parent laying into a ref for making a "bad" call. Hard to hold back sometimes in the heat of a close game? Without question, but it is also without question (at least in my mind) that it projects poorly on the club or town program when you witness a coach who has not yet learned the value in withholding commentary on the refereeing. On the other side of the coin, I believe it reflects very well on one who maintains his/her composure during a match in the face of one or more calls they may disagree with. Which role model would we prefer for our kids?

[Unregistered]

I coached town travel in BAYS for many years as a decidedly non-professional parent volunteer. They had what I felt was a very effective policy in regards to communication between coaches and Refs, which was one of "zero tolerance." Not that it didn't get broken from time to time, but at least everyone knew the rule. Leave a coach with some gray area, especially with a young Ref in charge, and it's a recipe for the sort of incident that occurred between NEFC and SSS on Sunday. Moreover, a single ref can never benefit from the 'mass perspective' that is afforded to a group of parents, players or coaches who are spread out along the touchline.

Was it hard for me to hold my tongue sometimes, no question, particularly in the first couple of years of coaching before I internalized the fact that mistakes are made and that they tend to go both ways in roughly even numbers. Once you get your head around that fact, then you can focus on coaching your team and roll with the referee calls, whatever they may be. If, in the opinion of the coach, a referee was calling a truly unsafe game, then it was always the prerogative of the coach to simply pull his team from the field and file any grievances with the league referee coordinator.

Now, before some of you say that BAYS is not as competitive as MAPLE and that MAPLE is just a different kettle of fish, realize two things; (1.) the kids playing in BAYS are the same ages as those we're talking about here in MAPLE (i.e., they're young, not professionals!) and (2.) it's a fact that a number of the kids on just about any MAPLE club team also play for their town teams in BAYS or similar, meaning there is some of the same parent group on the sidelines on Saturdays that are there on Sundays. The competitive personalities in the mix have a way of projecting that sensibility onto their kids, regardless of the venue. Do these parents and kids avoid town soccer like it's the black plague, because it's not competitive enough, or insists on enforcing annoying rules like "no yelling at refs?" On the contrary.

To this day, it still makes me uncomfortable to hear a coach or parent laying into a ref for making a "bad" call. Hard to hold back sometimes in the heat of a close game? Without question, but it is also without question (at least in my mind) that it projects poorly on the club or town program when you witness a coach who has not yet learned the value in withholding commentary on the refereeing. On the other side of the coin, I believe it reflects very well on one who maintains his/her composure during a match in the face of one or more calls they may disagree with. Which role model would we prefer for our kids?

Good post. The Scottish Football Association had to cancel a weekend of games due to a work stoppage by the refs. The reason: a lack of respect from the sidelines. Now, you can argue that they are big boys and get paid to call the game correctly, but the respect issue is permeating the game at all levels. Imagine a work stoppage of Mass refs due to similar issues. Far-fetched perhaps, but not completely out of the question. We need to be a little more lenient in our treatment of Refs or we are likely to lose them. Instead of impressing us with the FA level 1, (gym class), maybe all coaches need to be certified refs. NEP is requiring all their coaches to have minimun coaching licenses, why not make refereering part of the program.

[Unregistered]

Good post. The Scottish Football Association had to cancel a weekend of games due to a work stoppage by the refs. The reason: a lack of respect from the sidelines. Now, you can argue that they are big boys and get paid to call the game correctly, but the respect issue is permeating the game at all levels. Imagine a work stoppage of Mass refs due to similar issues. Far-fetched perhaps, but not completely out of the question. We need to be a little more lenient in our treatment of Refs or we are likely to lose them. Instead of impressing us with the FA level 1, (gym class), maybe all coaches need to be certified refs. NEP is requiring all their coaches to have minimun coaching licenses, why not make refereering part of the program.

It should be. They got rid of that requirement for the coaching licenses.

[Unregistered]

Zero tolerence is a gift to coaches, it leaves you one less thing to worry about. It is also a great opportunity for a coach to throw a troublesome parent off the sidelines.

I find it unbelievable that a coach is suspended for 3 games, at the U11 level, and some parents think that it is okay.

SttB

[Unregistered]

Zero tolerence is a gift to coaches, it leaves you one less thing to worry about. It is also a great opportunity for a coach to throw a troublesome parent off the sidelines.

I find it unbelievable that a coach is suspended for 3 games, at the U11 level, and some parents think that it is okay.

SttB

All you need is 1 troublesome parent to set off the herd.

[Unregistered]

All you need is 1 troublesome parent to set off the herd.

Unfortunately, at this age group, they are lining up around the block.

[Unregistered]

Unfortunately, at this age group, they are lining up around the block.

Very simple way of dealing with it. Stay away from the herd or stand up to the troublesome parent.

[beentheredonethat]

I love all of the social moralizing that comes with these sorts of threads. I wasn't at the game but know NB. He's a good egg. Might he have lost his cool? Sounds like it, but then I haven't read the whole thread and digested the incident. One thing that I know is that most coaches do lose their cool a few times in their coaching career... happens to all of us. Is it right? No. Are we proud of it? Typically not. That said we all understand that it happens and hopefully we all learn from our mistakes. Before many of you go off bashing the guy though you might want to consider that not all arguing with referees is necessarily bad. Take an example like the U13 Stars coach from this weekend down at PDA. As I understand it he got heaved for objecting too hard after one of his girls got pulled down by her pony tail and another got a concussion. I know as a player and parent I always appreciated when one of my coaches went to "bat" for me or my kid with an official. We all know that somewhere someone is ripping the Stars coach for his behavior yet in my book in a lot of ways he did the right thing. Just trying to point out that this sort of topic is not always as black and white as some others might like to paint it.