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NESCAC Fever, Take 2: why would you even want your kid "tipped"?

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    NESCAC Fever, Take 2: why would you even want your kid "tipped"?

    Before the critiques come back about critiquing a stereotype, let me offer the caveats that one of my kids was accepted to several NESCACs within the past few years and I know what I'm going to write doesn't apply to everyone. But these people do exist... I've met them ...the ones with "feral ambition." They scratch and claw their way to what they view as the promised land....the elusive and priceless (meaning at any price) NESCAC "tip." They'll do DAP and/or ISL and/or a PG year to get there. They'll constantly press against the seams of what is ethical to get there. They'll make videos, and send emails and make phone calls (sometimes to people you wouldn't believe), and cajole their way however to get there. They will obsess about the goal 24 hours a day, with a keen eye on perceived competition and making sure to badmouth the competition with painstaking and creative fervor. Plenty of parents are coming up the ranks, calculating their moves and waiting for their turn to go after the "tip." Go to the threads about U13, U14, and U16 teams and you'll find them, a voracious hunger fueling their drive to an entitled destination.

    And what for? To play D3 soccer? Let's say that the competitive level is good. But even conceding that, we aren't talking about Michigan vs. Ohio State at the old Horseshoe. This is more akin to highly competitive games of croquet on lawns of the Kennedy compound on the Cape or the Bush estate at Kennebunkport, after which we open up the Heinekens or the Bordeaux. These are little matches among elite friends... the parents with their lattes thrilled to watch their boys and girls play in such an exclusive and well-manicured neighborhood, with Dad wearing a school cap and proud of his rear window decal. Going against good old rival Middlebury or Bowdoin or Trinity which have some old club-mates with their own proud parents with whom you can bask in a mirrored glow. Could there ever be a better day one could imagine than a NESCAC doubleheader perhaps smack in the middle of Harvard Yard?

    They need the "tip" to regulate their narcissistic equilibrium... insulin for being so easily bruised... the ego that can find a slight walking one block down the street, or in one mention or one lack of mention, or mis-mention... or some unexplained and unexplainable 10 minute block of lost playing time. It doesn't work to say you went for the "tip" so your kid could play soccer, because there are plenty of schools where your kid could do that. You want him to play at a certain school, a school good enough to let you sleep at night as you sweat and cringe and stew about your imagined foes. And it's not because of the outstanding education, or the diversity, or the incredible opportunities to grow as a human being. You only want to tell us about the company your kid keeps, the ultra-rich friends inviting her to Southampton or the Vineyard... and how your kid will be making at least a quarter mil within 5 years of graduation from dear NESCAC-ville.

    And where is the kid in all this? The kid is simply the instrument, the vessel to fulfill Mom and Dad's needs. We won't even think about what is best for him or what he really wants, because we decided that a long, long time ago. That was decided so long ago you can't even remember why you decided what you decided. It's just what you want and need, period. And, besides, why wouldn't the kid go along. After all, it sounds pretty cool to say that you're playing soccer on the oh-so-green lawn of a grand old NESCAC.

    And really, wouldn't these schools be more noble and worthy without "tips"? The percentages of "athletes" on these campuses is a sham and a shame, a blight on the colleges' Latin seals.

    #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    Before the critiques come back about critiquing a stereotype, let me offer the caveats that one of my kids was accepted to several NESCACs within the past few years and I know what I'm going to write doesn't apply to everyone. But these people do exist... I've met them ...the ones with "feral ambition." They scratch and claw their way to what they view as the promised land....the elusive and priceless (meaning at any price) NESCAC "tip." They'll do DAP and/or ISL and/or a PG year to get there. They'll constantly press against the seams of what is ethical to get there. They'll make videos, and send emails and make phone calls (sometimes to people you wouldn't believe), and cajole their way however to get there. They will obsess about the goal 24 hours a day, with a keen eye on perceived competition and making sure to badmouth the competition with painstaking and creative fervor. Plenty of parents are coming up the ranks, calculating their moves and waiting for their turn to go after the "tip." Go to the threads about U13, U14, and U16 teams and you'll find them, a voracious hunger fueling their drive to an entitled destination.

    And what for? To play D3 soccer? Let's say that the competitive level is good. But even conceding that, we aren't talking about Michigan vs. Ohio State at the old Horseshoe. This is more akin to highly competitive games of croquet on lawns of the Kennedy compound on the Cape or the Bush estate at Kennebunkport, after which we open up the Heinekens or the Bordeaux. These are little matches among elite friends... the parents with their lattes thrilled to watch their boys and girls play in such an exclusive and well-manicured neighborhood, with Dad wearing a school cap and proud of his rear window decal. Going against good old rival Middlebury or Bowdoin or Trinity which have some old club-mates with their own proud parents with whom you can bask in a mirrored glow. Could there ever be a better day one could imagine than a NESCAC doubleheader perhaps smack in the middle of Harvard Yard?

    They need the "tip" to regulate their narcissistic equilibrium... insulin for being so easily bruised... the ego that can find a slight walking one block down the street, or in one mention or one lack of mention, or mis-mention... or some unexplained and unexplainable 10 minute block of lost playing time. It doesn't work to say you went for the "tip" so your kid could play soccer, because there are plenty of schools where your kid could do that. You want him to play at a certain school, a school good enough to let you sleep at night as you sweat and cringe and stew about your imagined foes. And it's not because of the outstanding education, or the diversity, or the incredible opportunities to grow as a human being. You only want to tell us about the company your kid keeps, the ultra-rich friends inviting her to Southampton or the Vineyard... and how your kid will be making at least a quarter mil within 5 years of graduation from dear NESCAC-ville.

    And where is the kid in all this? The kid is simply the instrument, the vessel to fulfill Mom and Dad's needs. We won't even think about what is best for him or what he really wants, because we decided that a long, long time ago. That was decided so long ago you can't even remember why you decided what you decided. It's just what you want and need, period. And, besides, why wouldn't the kid go along. After all, it sounds pretty cool to say that you're playing soccer on the oh-so-green lawn of a grand old NESCAC.

    And really, wouldn't these schools be more noble and worthy without "tips"? The percentages of "athletes" on these campuses is a sham and a shame, a blight on the colleges' Latin seals.
    Well let's see. One reason would be so he doesn't end with your kid or, actually, anywhere around you- ever.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      Before the critiques come back about critiquing a stereotype, let me offer the caveats that one of my kids was accepted to several NESCACs within the past few years and I know what I'm going to write doesn't apply to everyone. But these people do exist... I've met them ...the ones with "feral ambition." They scratch and claw their way to what they view as the promised land....the elusive and priceless (meaning at any price) NESCAC "tip." They'll do DAP and/or ISL and/or a PG year to get there. They'll constantly press against the seams of what is ethical to get there. They'll make videos, and send emails and make phone calls (sometimes to people you wouldn't believe), and cajole their way however to get there. They will obsess about the goal 24 hours a day, with a keen eye on perceived competition and making sure to badmouth the competition with painstaking and creative fervor. Plenty of parents are coming up the ranks, calculating their moves and waiting for their turn to go after the "tip." Go to the threads about U13, U14, and U16 teams and you'll find them, a voracious hunger fueling their drive to an entitled destination.

      And what for? To play D3 soccer? Let's say that the competitive level is good. But even conceding that, we aren't talking about Michigan vs. Ohio State at the old Horseshoe. This is more akin to highly competitive games of croquet on lawns of the Kennedy compound on the Cape or the Bush estate at Kennebunkport, after which we open up the Heinekens or the Bordeaux. These are little matches among elite friends... the parents with their lattes thrilled to watch their boys and girls play in such an exclusive and well-manicured neighborhood, with Dad wearing a school cap and proud of his rear window decal. Going against good old rival Middlebury or Bowdoin or Trinity which have some old club-mates with their own proud parents with whom you can bask in a mirrored glow. Could there ever be a better day one could imagine than a NESCAC doubleheader perhaps smack in the middle of Harvard Yard?

      They need the "tip" to regulate their narcissistic equilibrium... insulin for being so easily bruised... the ego that can find a slight walking one block down the street, or in one mention or one lack of mention, or mis-mention... or some unexplained and unexplainable 10 minute block of lost playing time. It doesn't work to say you went for the "tip" so your kid could play soccer, because there are plenty of schools where your kid could do that. You want him to play at a certain school, a school good enough to let you sleep at night as you sweat and cringe and stew about your imagined foes. And it's not because of the outstanding education, or the diversity, or the incredible opportunities to grow as a human being. You only want to tell us about the company your kid keeps, the ultra-rich friends inviting her to Southampton or the Vineyard... and how your kid will be making at least a quarter mil within 5 years of graduation from dear NESCAC-ville.

      And where is the kid in all this? The kid is simply the instrument, the vessel to fulfill Mom and Dad's needs. We won't even think about what is best for him or what he really wants, because we decided that a long, long time ago. That was decided so long ago you can't even remember why you decided what you decided. It's just what you want and need, period. And, besides, why wouldn't the kid go along. After all, it sounds pretty cool to say that you're playing soccer on the oh-so-green lawn of a grand old NESCAC.

      And really, wouldn't these schools be more noble and worthy without "tips"? The percentages of "athletes" on these campuses is a sham and a shame, a blight on the colleges' Latin seals.
      You left out several outdated stereotypes. You arrogant blowhard.

      For someone claiming to understyand the process, you don't know very much about how this woerks at all.

      Comment


        #4
        bottom line.. if you need the tip, you don't belong..

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          bottom line.. if you need the tip, you don't belong..
          Couldn't you try to make this claim at every school including D1s? If your AI is at the bottom end, maybe you really don't "belong" at an Ivy? If you are at the NCAA minimum maybe you don't really "belong" at UCLA, Stanford or UNC?

          Comment


            #6
            NESCAC Fever, Take 2: why would you ever want your kid "tipped"?

            The original poster obviously hasn't looked at the Financial Aid statistics at the NESCACs. The implication that all the students are rich is absurd and way off base.

            Comment


              #7
              it is not the wallet, it is the attitude

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Couldn't you try to make this claim at every school including D1s? If your AI is at the bottom end, maybe you really don't "belong" at an Ivy? If you are at the NCAA minimum maybe you don't really "belong" at UCLA, Stanford or UNC?
                old discussion.. bottom line is the for the typical nescac or ivy worshipper just being on campus is enough.. having success there is not really a requirement

                Comment


                  #9
                  Seriously, how many ECNL players end up at a NESCAC school? This year there is maybe one from Mass (and she wanted to go to Yale)?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    bottom line.. if you need the tip, you don't belong..
                    I believe the admissions directors and President's at the NESCAC's, Ivy's, Stanford, Notre Dame ect.....would all tend to disagree with you. As someone who needed a "tip" many many moons ago who came from a very modest blue collar family, I cherished every day on campus and worked my butt off to do quite well both on and off the playing fields and continued to do so after graduation. Don't condemn the "tip" or those who get them as it may be the "opportunity" of a lifetime for that particular student, many of whom prove that if given a chance they certainly do belong.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      NESCAC rules limit the number of tips. Most schools have only ~60-70 tips for ALL athletes, male and female in all sports. Football usually gets the most tips by far.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        I believe the admissions directors and President's at the NESCAC's, Ivy's, Stanford, Notre Dame ect.....would all tend to disagree with you. As someone who needed a "tip" many many moons ago who came from a very modest blue collar family, I cherished every day on campus and worked my butt off to do quite well both on and off the playing fields and continued to do so after graduation. Don't condemn the "tip" or those who get them as it may be the "opportunity" of a lifetime for that particular student, many of whom prove that if given a chance they certainly do belong.
                        you are living in a different reality, many years ago 'Tiger Moms' were not as prevalent and college was a different sort of place

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          you are living in a different reality, many years ago 'Tiger Moms' were not as prevalent and college was a different sort of place
                          We are living in different times, however do not cast aspersions across the entire group of current student athletes who may need a "tip" to gain admission into NESCAC's, Ivies....the majority do not come from homes with "Tiger Moms" or grow up with a "silver spoon". Most of these "tips" will be an asset to their college community and aquit themselves quite well amongst their peers.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            A few points:
                            1) the original poster seems incredibly bitter and cynical.
                            2) In the NESCAC all the tips in the world won't get a truly sub-par student past admissions
                            3) and, in today's world a student with excellent grades and test scores may still need a tip, simply because of the volume of qualified applicants.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Is getting a tip directly proportional to home distance from campus?

                              Comment

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