The Late Bloomer Myth

[beentheredonethat]

O.K. here is my final analysis and then I'm done. Believe me when I tell you that I am not alone on this type of thinking and by no way should it be considered crazy. My son who played soccer from a very young age did not have the athletic ability and never advanced beyond recreational. Guess what, there's nothing wrong with that. Now my daughter does have the ability and is playing d1 and odp. Do I think she is the best player going. absolutely not. But she is very good and I nuture and encourage her. Now her current team is not meeting expectations and is actually regressing. We have a couple less than marginal players. I have already desrcibed this earlier and won't get into it again. Now, I am spending alot of money, not because I want to but because my daughter wants this. Now you can beleive this, if at some point, she stops developing or doesn't want this anymore, we will stop, and I won't have any problem with that. She is self motivated. She practices/plays on her own. She loves to see how many juggles she can do, without being asked. Now because it's my money I am spending, I want the best environment for her. Having sub marginal players on the roster is not the best environment, especially when it compromises the team. I do believe in equal playing time. I only have an issue when my daughter has to share this playing time with the submarginal players who are obviously not at this level and are only there to fill up the roster, again, finances. This is why I said earlier that the coach needs to decide who he would rather lose, a talented player or a sub marginal one. Just because the sub marginal one is cut, does not mean the end of soccer for her. There are many other levels for which she can practice her skill. (including private training) If that player improves, then please come back to the d1 level. D1 is for D1 players, sorry jmo. I hold no ill will towards those players. My son was one. My daugter may play in college, she may not, so we play soccer for the moment and she wants to win. So I encourage that. Before you start accusing me of being a fanatic, we have discussed every competition must also have a loser and there's nothing wrong with that as long as she is happy she tried her best. So to conclude, it's my money, a significant amount and I will spend it with my daughter's interests in mind and if that means moving her to a team with a solid roster then so be it. And this is not what's wrong with youth sports. This is an advanced level and not everyone is intitled to be here.

I feel your pain and actually experienced much of what you wrote with my oldest kid. I would guess that you know exactly how enfuriating it is to have a kid throwing their everything into something and then have a coach or program administrator dumb things down on them. I would suspect you also know how it feels to be labeled extremist when you merely speak up and start asking questions why. We actually got involved with club soccer because our town program had a policy of not leveling teams and then placing them in the lowest possible divisions so that they could win and everyone feel good. This is a true story, I was actually at the board meetings trying to understand why they were doing what they were doing and got that as an answer. When you get involved in club soccer you soon realize that it has its own share of problems and that the only way you can protect your kid from the crazy self interests you find in it is to educate yourself and use your freedom of choice. The great thing about this environment is that you are not stuck with a club if you find they don't meet your child's needs. This is the reason I have been trying to put so much information out there. One of the things you will find about the club environment is there is an awful lot of marketing hype that preys on the well meaning hopes of parents. One piece of advice that I have specifically for you is to really try and form a very concrete and objective view of your daughter's ability and upside potential before you commit to any specific path. There are a lot of people out there that will be willing to sell you a dream, you want to be able to see how she fits and whether or not she'll likely find success before you put all the time, energy, and money in that typically goes with any of them.

[ForTheKids]

The pyramid already exists. There are the National Leagues, the DAP, the regional leagues, the sub-regional leagues, MAPLE, NEP, and MASC. Leagues will merge or cease to exist. Such is normal. When MASC was started there were no national leagues, DAP, sub-regional or NEP. MAPLE was the evolution of the NCCL.

The Nation's Cup originally was only for U19 teams and then was expanded based on the demands of the regions, states, and clubs to lower and lower ages.

The whole youth structure beyond town is based on this competition. The best month to play soccer, i.e. June, is exclusive to this competition.

The larger clubs are starting to have multiple teams in each age group and place teams into appropriate levels of competition. The rostering rules need to be re-examined and changes made.

Currently there is no mechanism for moving players to appropriate levels of training/competition. Parents need to pull players from one club/team and move them to other clubs/teams. Recruiting of course occurs.

The ideal system would have the a club/team arrange a transfer of a player to clubs/teams that would offer the best opportunities for the player. As a coach, I have made such suggestions several times to player's parents. It is very difficult to intentionally weaken a team in the interest of helping a player.

When short term goals are paramount, i.e. the current situation, then winning today at the expense of individual development becomes paramount.

The pyramid exists to some degree but is at the same time is not as “clean” as I would think it could/should be.
Again, I don’t think Maple and NEP complement each other as much as they are competing with each other. Also, look at how many “national championships” we have today.

I absolutely agree with your second point about the rostering. It should be much easier to move players within the club from team to team. I do understand that this causes a lot of other issues but something has to be done. As it is know with people having to change clubs to find the right level is not the ideal situation for many reasons. ECNL (for whatever warts they may have) do accommodate for this.

[Unregistered]

The pyramid already exists. There are the National Leagues, the DAP, the regional leagues, the sub-regional leagues, MAPLE, NEP, and MASC. Leagues will merge or cease to exist. Such is normal. When MASC was started there were no national leagues, DAP, sub-regional or NEP. MAPLE was the evolution of the NCCL.

The Nation's Cup originally was only for U19 teams and then was expanded based on the demands of the regions, states, and clubs to lower and lower ages.

The whole youth structure beyond town is based on this competition. The best month to play soccer, i.e. June, is exclusive to this competition.

The larger clubs are starting to have multiple teams in each age group and place teams into appropriate levels of competition. The rostering rules need to be re-examined and changes made.

Currently there is no mechanism for moving players to appropriate levels of training/competition. Parents need to pull players from one club/team and move them to other clubs/teams. Recruiting of course occurs.

The ideal system would have the a club/team arrange a transfer of a player to clubs/teams that would offer the best opportunities for the player. As a coach, I have made such suggestions several times to player's parents. It is very difficult to intentionally weaken a team in the interest of helping a player.

When short term goals are paramount, i.e. the current situation, then winning today at the expense of individual development becomes paramount.

I agree with you, I just want to comment on your last sentence. You misenterpret the current situation being about winning ONLY. I believe that my daughter's developement and desire to win are directly linked. She wants to play on winning teams. I believe that also provides her with excellent developement opportunities due to the increased level of competition. As I said, she does alot on her own and is playing in the upper developement levels. At the moment, I believe there is the real possibility of her really going on with this. We just don't want to get caught up to much about what might happen down the road. This is why we focus on the now and from my description, I believe her developement is a big part of that. I now I am being selfish, but it's my daughter, my money and I believe I have that right.

[beentheredonethat]

The pyramid already exists. There are the National Leagues, the DAP, the regional leagues, the sub-regional leagues, MAPLE, NEP, and MASC. Leagues will merge or cease to exist. Such is normal. When MASC was started there were no national leagues, DAP, sub-regional or NEP. MAPLE was the evolution of the NCCL.

The Nation's Cup originally was only for U19 teams and then was expanded based on the demands of the regions, states, and clubs to lower and lower ages.

The whole youth structure beyond town is based on this competition. The best month to play soccer, i.e. June, is exclusive to this competition.

The larger clubs are starting to have multiple teams in each age group and place teams into appropriate levels of competition. The rostering rules need to be re-examined and changes made.

Currently there is no mechanism for moving players to appropriate levels of training/competition. Parents need to pull players from one club/team and move them to other clubs/teams. Recruiting of course occurs.

The ideal system would have the a club/team arrange a transfer of a player to clubs/teams that would offer the best opportunities for the player. As a coach, I have made such suggestions several times to player's parents. It is very difficult to intentionally weaken a team in the interest of helping a player.

When short term goals are paramount, i.e. the current situation, then winning today at the expense of individual development becomes paramount.

MASC .. Sports have always been about competition. You seem to forget that even back in the days when we all played pick up games we played to win and there was hierarchy based upon ability. Back then no one threw you out of the game because you stunk, they actually needed you to play so there were enough numbers. It was usually the kid themselves who said "hey I stink, and I'm not having any fun" and decided that they no longer wanted to play. What you are doing is effectively saying "hey kid, if we let you win this time, will you still play". No matter how you look at it, what you want results in a false victory.

Focusing on winning is not the problem, it is how people like you respond to losing. If you look at it like the world should end because you lost, then of course your day is going to be ruined. If you can find satisfaction in fighting the good fight you have a much better chance of walking away feeling good about the situation. It is all how you perceive it. You need to be careful ascribing your beliefs that everyone looks at competition in a negative way to all the parties in this discussion. I sure don't. Don't get me wrong, I'll beat your butt good, but then I'll buy you a beer and we'll laugh about the game afterwards. Don't lose sight that competition can be healthy.

As an administrator of a league I would challenge you to start the discussion with MYSA on how to fix things instead of essentially attacking the other approaches like you do. This is not 10 years ago and as you correctly note it is time to reexamine things with an open mind.

[Unregistered]

MASC .. Sports have always been about competition. You seem to forget that even back in the days when we all played pick up games we played to win and there was hierarchy based upon ability. Back then no one threw you out of the game because you stunk, they actually needed you to play so there were enough numbers. It was usually the kid themselves who said "hey I stink, and I'm not having any fun" and decided that they no longer wanted to play. What you are doing is effectively saying "hey kid, if we let you win this time, will you still play". No matter how you look at it, what you want results in a false victory.

Focusing on winning is not the problem, it is how people like you respond to losing. If you look at it like the world should end because you lost, then of course your day is going to be ruined. If you can find satisfaction in fighting the good fight you have a much better chance of walking away feeling good about the situation. It is all how you perceive it. You need to be careful ascribing your beliefs that everyone looks at competition in a negative way to all the parties in this discussion. I sure don't. Don't get me wrong, I'll beat your butt good, but then I'll buy you a beer and we'll laugh about the game afterwards. Don't lose sight that competition can be healthy.

As an administrator of a league I would challenge you to start the discussion with MYSA on how to fix things instead of essentially attacking the other approaches like you do. This is not 10 years ago and as you correctly note it is time to reexamine things with an open mind.

The sad thing about all this commentary is that at the end of the day everyone needs to realize - (a) 99.9999999% of these kids are not going to the olympics, (b) they are not getting full-boat $$$ for college, and (c) let them enjoy the game and develop the love for it no matter the level of play is, let the kid choose what they want, by time they are 12/13 they know how they fit in the puzzle.

[Unregistered]

MASC .. Sports have always been about competition. You seem to forget that even back in the days when we all played pick up games we played to win and there was hierarchy based upon ability. Back then no one threw you out of the game because you stunk, they actually needed you to play so there were enough numbers. It was usually the kid themselves who said "hey I stink, and I'm not having any fun" and decided that they no longer wanted to play. What you are doing is effectively saying "hey kid, if we let you win this time, will you still play". No matter how you look at it, what you want results in a false victory.

Focusing on winning is not the problem, it is how people like you respond to losing. If you look at it like the world should end because you lost, then of course your day is going to be ruined. If you can find satisfaction in fighting the good fight you have a much better chance of walking away feeling good about the situation. It is all how you perceive it. You need to be careful ascribing your beliefs that everyone looks at competition in a negative way to all the parties in this discussion. I sure don't. Don't get me wrong, I'll beat your butt good, but then I'll buy you a beer and we'll laugh about the game afterwards. Don't lose sight that competition can be healthy.

As an administrator of a league I would challenge you to start the discussion with MYSA on how to fix things instead of essentially attacking the other approaches like you do. This is not 10 years ago and as you correctly note it is time to reexamine things with an open mind.

This is my first post on this subject, but I have read almost all of the posts. I believe your anaolgy above regarding the atmopshere and conditions of the pickup game era is flawed.

Simply, the pick up game era was one that was conducted by, and involved only children. Children were given an education by not only their participation , but also by the involvement in keeping the activities fun. Today's environment for children is strictly run by adults. Children don't play soccer, they perform. Their peformances determine the hierarchy , at younger and younger ages. Their performances as directed by the latest trend that the herd should follow, does less and less to serve the athlete, but does more to serve the parent, the pocketbooks of the Clubs and organizations, and leaves many children destined to be non-participants. In your above analogy, you have the child make the decision to cease partipation in the activity. Today, nearly all the time , that decision is made by others, at younger and younger ages. Children may end up making the decision, but only after the consequences of parental and business model involvement make it neccesary or desirable for the child.

As far as those that think that because they are spending " their money" , they have certain rights, they are incorrect. We are dealing with children here. Your participation as a paying customer in a market , has a direct influence on all of those who participate in the market, and even those children who do not.

Focusing on winning is the problem. Winning should be a consequence of the activitiy, not the driver. I have taught and trained children to be winners in other endeavors besides soccer, and I will tell you from years of experience that this is so. The activity that reveals who the winners are , or aren't , should be conducted less of the time, and the preperation for the activity should be done in the majority of the time. . Youth soccer has it all backwards. In this regard, winning is cherished , losing is but a temporary set back.

Adult competition scenarios should never be used as an anology to competition among children. In essence, that is the root casue of many of the problems with today's organized youth sports.

[Unregistered]

I'm going to assume that you are not familiar with western mass. There is not this huge talent pool to draw from and two clubs competing for the same pool of girls. This can and does happen, especially when it comes down to club finances. And by the word "elite", It's just a word being used in this thread and I am only referencing d1 maple.

Here's my guess. The top talent from both Western Mass teams finally come together under the F.C. Stars west. This gives them a truly strong team, top to bottom, and the desired level of competition they want. The remaining "late Bloomers" stay with their respective teams and continue to play and develope, but for the moment, just won't be at the same level.

[Unregistered]

This is my first post on this subject, but I have read almost all of the posts. I believe your anaolgy above regarding the atmopshere and conditions of the pickup game era is flawed.

Simply, the pick up game era was one that was conducted by, and involved only children. Children were given an education by not only their participation , but also by the involvement in keeping the activities fun. Today's environment for children is strictly run by adults. Children don't play soccer, they perform. Their peformances determine the hierarchy , at younger and younger ages. Their performances as directed by the latest trend that the herd should follow, does less and less to serve the athlete, but does more to serve the parent, the pocketbooks of the Clubs and organizations, and leaves many children destined to be non-participants. In your above analogy, you have the child make the decision to cease partipation in the activity. Today, nearly all the time , that decision is made by others, at younger and younger ages. Children may end up making the decision, but only after the consequences of parental and business model involvement make it neccesary or desirable for the child.

As far as those that think that because they are spending " their money" , they have certain rights, they are incorrect. We are dealing with children here. Your participation as a paying customer in a market , has a direct influence on all of those who participate in the market, and even those children who do not.

Focusing on winning is the problem. Winning should be a consequence of the activitiy, not the driver. I have taught and trained children to be winners in other endeavors besides soccer, and I will tell you from years of experience that this is so. The activity that reveals who the winners are , or aren't , should be conducted less of the time, and the preperation for the activity should be done in the majority of the time. . Youth soccer has it all backwards. In this regard, winning is cherished , losing is but a temporary set back.

Adult competition scenarios should never be used as an anology to competition among children. In essence, that is the root casue of many of the problems with today's organized youth sports.

Here is where your post is flawed. I question if you truly understood all that you read. Children do play soccer, at many levels. Yes their performance does land them on certain tiers. To suggest that children at the upper level only perform for their parents and adults and don't really enjoy it is incorrect. Do the kids who are out there practicing on their own do it because thet have to. I would suggest that they truly enjoy it and want to be at the top level. Parents for the most part are just the check book. If a child chooses to be a non participant, they make that choice on their own. There is a level that allows anyone who wants to, to play. The upper level kids, at least the ones I know, are not forced.
Your saying those that are spending their own money don't have a right to spend it where and how they want? They have some sort of an obligation to spend it in a way that only benefits the current situation they find themselves in even if they are unhappy with that? That's completely incorrect. people will spend money how they see fit and in a manner that benefits their child, not yours. You can call that selfish, but I wouldn't care. It's my money and I will find the best market for it!!
Winning is not a dirty word. Good strong competition is not bad. That's been covered enough.

[MASC]

The competition is not the problem.

Games are the same as tests in school. It is where the players/team demonstrate what has been taught in a challenging environment.

I grew up playing sports. I understand the importance of the competition.

The pressure put against club soccer coaches to win is much greater than what I ever experienced coaching college teams.

MassYouth is attempting to address the various issues, but the State Association has very limited powers. Leagues, clubs, origanizations, ... have to come to an agreement. Currently the open leagues have more power than can be justified by the number of players involved. Change at the league level has to be slow. It takes years to build trust, especially when at various times things have happened that drove wedges between organizations.

Any changes to the youth structure will take years and will not benefit any players currently in the system.

Just rationalizing the state level registration process has been challenging and will not be totally smooth nor the benfits realized this year. There are 200,000 players invovled with over 600 organizations each with their own agendas. There are 13 leagues in MA, three open and 10 closed (town).

Much of what is desired needs to come from the USSF through USYSA and Region I and then down to the state organization and its affiliates.

[Unregistered]

Here is where your post is flawed. I question if you truly understood all that you read. Children do play soccer, at many levels. Yes their performance does land them on certain tiers. To suggest that children at the upper level only perform for their parents and adults and don't really enjoy it is incorrect. Do the kids who are out there practicing on their own do it because thet have to. I would suggest that they truly enjoy it and want to be at the top level. Parents for the most part are just the check book. If a child chooses to be a non participant, they make that choice on their own. There is a level that allows anyone who wants to, to play. The upper level kids, at least the ones I know, are not forced.
Your saying those that are spending their own money don't have a right to spend it where and how they want? They have some sort of an obligation to spend it in a way that only benefits the current situation they find themselves in even if they are unhappy with that? That's completely incorrect. people will spend money how they see fit and in a manner that benefits their child, not yours. You can call that selfish, but I wouldn't care. It's my money and I will find the best market for it!!
Winning is not a dirty word. Good strong competition is not bad. That's been covered enough.

Older age children who play soccer , do so as they have been conditioned under the present scenario. Had they had to participate in the activity , if it was not orchestrated by parents , you may find the behavior would be different. Children many times will continue to do an activity, even if they dislike it, just to please their parents. Especially given that their parents have invested a significant amount of time and money on it. The influences adults put on children, the behaviour od adults in regards to childrens activiies, has a direct effect on them, both positive, and in many cases negative.

I never said winning is a dirty word. Winning can be good, and enriching, if it is in the proper context. I submit to you that the present state of Youth soccer does not have it so.
You can spend your money as you wish, only that the continued expansion of the market , has a direct effect on those who participate and those who do not. A good con man knows that their job is not to convince skeptics, but to continue to feed the marks what they neeed to continue the scam.

[Unregistered]

Older age children who play soccer , do so as they have been conditioned under the present scenario. Had they had to participate in the activity , if it was not orchestrated by parents , you may find the behavior would be different. Children many times will continue to do an activity, even if they dislike it, just to please their parents. Especially given that their parents have invested a significant amount of time and money on it. The influences adults put on children, the behaviour od adults in regards to childrens activiies, has a direct effect on them, both positive, and in many cases negative.

I never said winning is a dirty word. Winning can be good, and enriching, if it is in the proper context. I submit to you that the present state of Youth soccer does not have it so.
You can spend your money as you wish, only that the continued expansion of the market , has a direct effect on those who participate and those who do not. A good con man knows that their job is not to convince skeptics, but to continue to feed the marks what they neeed to continue the scam.

Thank you for your thoughts, we just have different points of view of the same subject.

[beentheredonethat]

O.K. here is my final analysis and then I'm done. Believe me when I tell you that I am not alone on this type of thinking and by no way should it be considered crazy. My son who played soccer from a very young age did not have the athletic ability and never advanced beyond recreational. Guess what, there's nothing wrong with that. Now my daughter does have the ability and is playing d1 and odp. Do I think she is the best player going. absolutely not. But she is very good and I nuture and encourage her. Now her current team is not meeting expectations and is actually regressing. We have a couple less than marginal players. I have already desrcibed this earlier and won't get into it again. Now, I am spending alot of money, not because I want to but because my daughter wants this. Now you can beleive this, if at some point, she stops developing or doesn't want this anymore, we will stop, and I won't have any problem with that. She is self motivated. She practices/plays on her own. She loves to see how many juggles she can do, without being asked. Now because it's my money I am spending, I want the best environment for her. Having sub marginal players on the roster is not the best environment, especially when it compromises the team. I do believe in equal playing time. I only have an issue when my daughter has to share this playing time with the submarginal players who are obviously not at this level and are only there to fill up the roster, again, finances. This is why I said earlier that the coach needs to decide who he would rather lose, a talented player or a sub marginal one. Just because the sub marginal one is cut, does not mean the end of soccer for her. There are many other levels for which she can practice her skill. (including private training) If that player improves, then please come back to the d1 level. D1 is for D1 players, sorry jmo. I hold no ill will towards those players. My son was one. My daugter may play in college, she may not, so we play soccer for the moment and she wants to win. So I encourage that. Before you start accusing me of being a fanatic, we have discussed every competition must also have a loser and there's nothing wrong with that as long as she is happy she tried her best. So to conclude, it's my money, a significant amount and I will spend it with my daughter's interests in mind and if that means moving her to a team with a solid roster then so be it. And this is not what's wrong with youth sports. This is an advanced level and not everyone is intitled to be here.

I was thinking about this post some more. Great post!

I would like to share with you some dialogue I am having with the father of the striker on my daughter's U13 team. If you are not aware of her, in my opinion she does appear to have the POTENTIAL as well interest and drive to become a real deal. One of the problems you face when you have this type of player is that her realities and needs are very different from the other kids on the team and most people don't understand just how different they are. One tough thing is you almost can't help but come across as an ego driven snot to the other parents on the team because you end up asking for more and getting more than their kids. These dynamics can be very rough to deal with especially when you have to confront the talent variances the envariably exist.

For most of the last year he has been confronting the same types of problems you apparently have. His daughter is light years ahead of where the other girls on the team are. That doesn't mean that she is anywhere near a finished product but she does have rare speed, a nose for the goal and generally plays the game at much higher level than the rest of them do. The problem he has had to confront is that the team's lack of relative supporting talent really does impact her growth in the game. Let's face it, if they can't get her the ball or are not in a position to receive a return pass that slows her development down. Based upon your post I suspect you may be finding something similar.

Like you, his first impulse was to look at the team and become very critical of the other players on it. He wasn't wrong, they weren't doing the things she needed in order for her to get better. The real issue is these players weren't bad at all, she was just significantly better than them. She was on a different plane and you can't beat those other kids up for not being there with her. On our type of team, all you can expect is that these kids will work hard to try to improve and if they don't that the coach will cut them. You need to realize that in this environment the coach basically makes personnel decisions in June and has to live with them for a year. Doing it any other way is over the top and just mean. As a result you can't get upset with the coach for putting weaker kids out on the field because their parents are paying the same freight as you. They have every right to be there. Quite frankly this is how a lot of parents end up coming off as a butt hole when they become too vocal about their impressions. You are much better off being quiet and making some objective decisions in this situations.

Once you realize that your team is what it is, like him, you will probably want to look around and see if a geographic cure exists. What he found is it doesn't. What he realized is that at our age (U13) all of the top teams face essentially the same problems. They all have weak players and issues. Sure she might be able to go to another team and find someone to pass the ball to her but then they might have some other problem that would effect her. The reality is that all moving would do at this point is solve a short term issue. Regardless of how they get there, eventually all of the top teams are going to have players capable of distributing the ball and running with her. If they don't that team won't be a viable match for a player of that calibre and she would have to move anyways. It is really just a matter of timing. What you don't want to do is jump ship prematurely and just inherit different problems. What he figured out is that you have to make your decisions based upon the path the team is on and how well they working down it, rather than where they are at any point in time. If you understand and agree with you club's mission you are better off staying the course than trying to find greener grass someplace else.

That still leaves the question how do you give a talented kid the level of competition they need to progress their game. The solution my friend and I have found is ODP. Now I will be the first to tell you that ODP does have its strengths and weaknesses but for top end talent, we are finding that it will give a kid everything they need. First off, even though the talent at the state level may not be the be all end all level that some expect, on a position by position basis it most definately is consistently higher than you what you will find on the top teams at our stage. For the most part we find that the ODP training sessions do really challenge our kids and they get better as a result. Our kids have also made it into the regional pool and have already been invited to some sessions at the US Training Center. We are finding that they are getting all that they can handle from this environment and by doing it we are building a pretty solid resume should they wish to go on to play at the college level.

One of the issues my friend is confronting is that with exposure comes opportunity but there is a price to that. Since she is so good, she is getting invited to play and train in all sorts of different environments but quite frankly that starts to raise health and safety as well as financial concerns. He is starting to recognize that you can only put so many miles on a young kid's legs and that the environment and her happiness in it are actually pretty important to her success. Another issue is the expense. All of this stuff costs money and since he figures that he will be doing it for quite awhile he knows that the numbers are going to start adding up and probably will be substantial. The trick is you have to be much more selective about where your kid plays and trains. In addtion to ODP another solution that he has come up with is to train with older girls and take advantage of their naturally advanced development. The only downside is you have to worry about injury and exposing the girls prematurely to some of the issues older girls "talk aobut". The ultimate point is that no matter how you approach it, you are going to have make some decisions that require some pretty deep insight into how things work. Good luck.

[Unregistered]

Today's environment for children is strictly run by adults. Children don't play soccer, they perform. Their peformances determine the hierarchy , at younger and younger ages.

The distinction between playing and performing is bogus as a generalization. Apparently, some parents can't understand or won't accept that some kids--not all of whom are "early developers"--want to compete. For these kids, performing can be playing. They thrive in challenging, competitive environments. This isn't mainly a parent-driven phenomenon.

Such kids don't appreciate having to deal with teammates that are (ahem) unhelpful on the field--whether due to athletic inability, lack of effort, fear of contact by player or ball, or plain lack of interest. Many coaches, parents, and kids at good clubs realize that winning isn't the primary goal in early years: learning to play well and compete hard, as an individual and as a team, is.

What is going on is that some parents resent the shift toward an increasingly competitive environment early on. This is not simply about ego: these parents (or adults who identify with them) realize that currently less able, interested, or focused kids are getting left behind early, with little chance of recovery if they do later discover the ability and desire to compete at a high level. But exaggerated complaints about crazed parents, greedy clubs, obsession with winning, and discouraged kids aren't going to turn back the tide.

On the girls side, at least, most parents heading down an elite path aren't determined that their kid earn a full scholarship or play in the Olympics. (It's not hard to wonder, for example, what being on the women's national team would really get your kid, as compared to other productive things she could be doing with her life.) The main motivation for most of these parents is to support their kids and encourage them to learn what it takes to excel. If the ramifications of this are threatening to you, that is more your problem than theirs.

[Unregistered]

Older age children who play soccer , do so as they have been conditioned under the present scenario. Had they had to participate in the activity , if it was not orchestrated by parents , you may find the behavior would be different. Children many times will continue to do an activity, even if they dislike it, just to please their parents. Especially given that their parents have invested a significant amount of time and money on it. The influences adults put on children, the behaviour od adults in regards to childrens activiies, has a direct effect on them, both positive, and in many cases negative.

I never said winning is a dirty word. Winning can be good, and enriching, if it is in the proper context. I submit to you that the present state of Youth soccer does not have it so.
You can spend your money as you wish, only that the continued expansion of the market , has a direct effect on those who participate and those who do not. A good con man knows that their job is not to convince skeptics, but to continue to feed the marks what they neeed to continue the scam.

Let me see if I understand you correctly; The current system is a scam and all the clubs are nothing more than con men and every family participating is getting scammed/conned. Doesn't that sound a bit fanatical if not sour grapes?

[Unregistered]

I was thinking about this post some more. Great post!

I would like to share with you some dialogue I am having with the father of the striker on my daughter's U13 team. If you are not aware of her, in my opinion she does appear to have the POTENTIAL as well interest and drive to become a real deal. One of the problems you face when you have this type of player is that her realities and needs are very different from the other kids on the team and most people don't understand just how different they are. One tough thing is you almost can't help but come across as an ego driven snot to the other parents on the team because you end up asking for more and getting more than their kids. These dynamics can be very rough to deal with especially when you have to confront the talent variances the envariably exist.

For most of the last year he has been confronting the same types of problems you apparently have. His daughter is light years ahead of where the other girls on the team are. That doesn't mean that she is anywhere near a finished product but she does have rare speed, a nose for the goal and generally plays the game at much higher level than the rest of them do. The problem he has had to confront is that the team's lack of relative supporting talent really does impact her growth in the game. Let's face it, if they can't get her the ball or are not in a position to receive a return pass that slows her development down. Based upon your post I suspect you may be finding something similar.

Like you, his first impulse was to look at the team and become very critical of the other players on it. He wasn't wrong, they weren't doing the things she needed in order for her to get better. The real issue is these players weren't bad at all, she was just significantly better than them. She was on a different plane and you can't beat those other kids up for not being there with her. On our type of team, all you can expect is that these kids will work hard to try to improve and if they don't that the coach will cut them. You need to realize that in this environment the coach basically makes personnel decisions in June and has to live with them for a year. Doing it any other way is over the top and just mean. As a result you can't get upset with the coach for putting weaker kids out on the field because their parents are paying the same freight as you. They have every right to be there. Quite frankly this is how a lot of parents end up coming off as a butt hole when they become too vocal about their impressions. You are much better off being quiet and making some objective decisions in this situations.

Once you realize that your team is what it is, like him, you will probably want to look around and see if a geographic cure exists. What he found is it doesn't. What he realized is that at our age (U13) all of the top teams face essentially the same problems. They all have weak players and issues. Sure she might be able to go to another team and find someone to pass the ball to her but then they might have some other problem that would effect her. The reality is that all moving would do at this point is solve a short term issue. Regardless of how they get there, eventually all of the top teams are going to have players capable of distributing the ball and running with her. If they don't that team won't be a viable match for a player of that calibre and she would have to move anyways. It is really just a matter of timing. What you don't want to do is jump ship prematurely and just inherit different problems. What he figured out is that you have to make your decisions based upon the path the team is on and how well they working down it, rather than where they are at any point in time. If you understand and agree with you club's mission you are better off staying the course than trying to find greener grass someplace else.

That still leaves the question how do you give a talented kid the level of competition they need to progress their game. The solution my friend and I have found is ODP. Now I will be the first to tell you that ODP does have its strengths and weaknesses but for top end talent, we are finding that it will give a kid everything they need. First off, even though the talent at the state level may not be the be all end all level that some expect, on a position by position basis it most definately is consistently higher than you what you will find on the top teams at our stage. For the most part we find that the ODP training sessions do really challenge our kids and they get better as a result. Our kids have also made it into the regional pool and have already been invited to some sessions at the US Training Center. We are finding that they are getting all that they can handle from this environment and by doing it we are building a pretty solid resume should they wish to go on to play at the college level.

One of the issues my friend is confronting is that with exposure comes opportunity but there is a price to that. Since she is so good, she is getting invited to play and train in all sorts of different environments but quite frankly that starts to raise health and safety as well as financial concerns. He is starting to recognize that you can only put so many miles on a young kid's legs and that the environment and her happiness in it are actually pretty important to her success. Another issue is the expense. All of this stuff costs money and since he figures that he will be doing it for quite awhile he knows that the numbers are going to start adding up and probably will be substantial. The trick is you have to be much more selective about where your kid plays and trains. In addtion to ODP another solution that he has come up with is to train with older girls and take advantage of their naturally advanced development. The only downside is you have to worry about injury and exposing the girls prematurely to some of the issues older girls "talk aobut". The ultimate point is that no matter how you approach it, you are going to have make some decisions that require some pretty deep insight into how things work. Good luck.

This is a perfect example of why we don't have to worry about late bloomers.

The system is much more concerned about early bloomers and pampering every nuance of how kids with ability are trained, it could care less about making sure everyone around the kid knows how to move with out the ball, support in attack and defense, etc.

And so the elitist mentality is born, where kids run away from one underperforming roster after another and build no sense of teamwork with anyone. The system is about finding the "advanced kids" and throwing everyone else out. And that's why US soccer is where it is.

We would be much better served investing in kids who love to play regardless of ability so that everyone can contribute in a mixed field environment -- rather than over serving the kids with mental or athletic ability.