jerk offs

[Unregistered]

I see this is more difficult than I imagined, trying to show you the light on the subject.

" they weren't allowed to expereince it at the younger ages "

It isnn't that they lack experience, they lack the proper experience, done in the correct manner.


" handle rejection"

Children handle rejection at different rates, and the ability to sort out situations like rejection is unique to each and every child.

It has everything to do with parent administered sports. You analogy to Grade school sports is not genuine. Grade school sports, those under a schoolastic environment, are administered by educators, and have been for a long time. Today's leagues, Clubs, outside of the schoolastic environment are nearly totally unregulated, or regulated to satisfy the whims and desires of parents and the organizations NOT THE CHILD'S.

In the 1970's, for children younger that Junior High School, there was very little organized sports, nearly zero for girls. Children played their own games, and especially in urban areas, many of those games once played are now extinct.


All the problems started when adults hijacked youth sports away from the environment of the schoolastic arena. Stop putting words in my mouth. I never said everyone gets a trophy. I never said there aren't any losers.

Parents in the 1970's could CARE LESS if you won or lost. Today, it becomes paramount in their lives. When I was in Grade school, children of all ages played together, one sport after another. The kid with the cast on his leg was the umpire. When the younger child got up, the pitcher moved in. If you didn't have the correect number of players , you played " automatics". The point is, the skills learned in that environment were far superior to what the competitive leagues for 10 year olds taeches today. Far superior. Children used to learn conflict resolution, administration skills, negotiation skills, adaptability, resourcefullness, resoponsibility and respect. Today, they learn how to rub the noses of the child that for now, they are superior to. IN 5 years, the one who's nose they have rubbed , may very well turn out to be faster and stronger , and a better player.

That's the relaity.

So you're saying that kids in competitive sports today can't learn "conflict resolution, administration skills, negotiation skills, adaptability, resourcefulness, responsibility and respect"?

You must not have met my daughter or her teammates. All are well-balanced young ladies, in gifted and talented programs and competitive athletes. Not to toot their horn, but exactly what you would want in young student athletes.

It is possible to hang a large score on another team and still show respect for your opposition. I've seen it -- both on the winning side and the losing side.

It isn't the score that matters, it's much more than the score. . .

[Unregistered]

That's right. . . letting children be exposed so they can learn how to deal with it. That includes being beat handily in a sporting event.

This is part of what's wrong with the country today. Everyone needs to be overly sensitive and no one should feel uncomfortable.

Do you think when these kids (losing team) get older and get it handed to them in other areas of their lives (work, relationships, etc.) that they should expect everyone around them to start playing with one arm tied behind their back so it "evens the playing field"? What kind of a lesson is that to teach our kids.

Or if you are on the "winning team", would it be appropriate for your boss to say, "Well, Johnny, I like your spunk, but you know it's really not fair that you are our top salesman when Sarah is having so much trouble selling anything. I think you need to give up some of your sales, or slow down your pace, so she can fell good about herself."

Not everything in life is ice cream and puppies. . . some lessons are hard to learn, but valuable nonetheless.

That being said, discretely requiring off-foot touches, long shots or mixing offense and defense players are all acceptable in my book. At least the dominant teams players will have an opportunity to learn by seeing the game from a new/different perspective.

You're absolutely right. I tell my kids that life is unfair. I also tell them to stand up for themselves and take crap from no one, so if you want to beat me 16-0 playing two touches using off-foot, switching positions, giving weaker players more time, all the respect in the world.

If you want to do it the other way don't complain when my B-Teamer clotheslines your little Mia or little Wayne Rooney in the box and knocks a few chiclets loose.

[Unregistered]

Of course America still produces superior athletes. But have you checked the Police Blotter for the names of some of these "superior athletes" ? Not only on the Pro Level , but College ? Have you been paying attention to all the athletes that are " cheating" by using any drug or substance available to getthem to the top. Sure, America is producing superior athletes, but what kind? How about the players of the National Babysitting Organization ? How many children from town to town> How mnay baby mothers? Same wit the NFL and College. What's so " superior" of an athlete that doesn't havwe moral compass?

No one calls me a liberal. I am one of the most conservative people you will ever meet. Don't confuse my opnion reagrding children and sports with politics. I speak from decades of expereince, not only as a parent of children that have played sportsall the way through College, but as an Instructor, coach, administrator, etc.

Insulation is not the proper word. I am not saying that. All I am saying is that the current environment, that is, the increased competition at younger and younger ages, in events totally orchestrated by adults and their enablers, is not condusive to the overall menal health and growth of the child participants.

The "trials and tribulations" must be those that children can understand, digest , and grow with.

Believe it or not, I think we are both advocates for our kids. . . just attributing the cause of the "worst" of today to different things. You to "too young competition" and me to the "nanny state" our kids have to interact with in today's world.

All I'm trying to say is that competition, even at a young age, can be good for a kid -- and for their self esteem. If successful, it lifts them up. If beaten horribly, it teaches them composure under adverse situations and, quite possibly, gives them drive to improve.

I agree some folks push their kids WAY beyond where they should be. But don't knock non-scholastic, competitive sports. They have worked wonders for my daughter's sense of self-worth.

[Unregistered]

You're absolutely right. I tell my kids that life is unfair. I also tell them to stand up for themselves and take crap from no one, so if you want to beat me 16-0 playing two touches using off-foot, switching positions, giving weaker players more time, all the respect in the world.

If you want to do it the other way don't complain when my B-Teamer clotheslines your little Mia or little Wayne Rooney in the box and knocks a few chiclets loose.

You are exactly the kind of parent that gives competitive youth sports a bad name.

No one said going outside the rules and resorting to cheap shots because you're frustrated is acceptable play --ever.

[Unregistered]

Of course America still produces superior athletes. But have you checked the Police Blotter for the names of some of these "superior athletes" ? Not only on the Pro Level , but College ? Have you been paying attention to all the athletes that are " cheating" by using any drug or substance available to getthem to the top. Sure, America is producing superior athletes, but what kind? How about the players of the National Babysitting Organization ? How many children from town to town> How mnay baby mothers? Same wit the NFL and College. What's so " superior" of an athlete that doesn't havwe moral compass?

No one calls me a liberal. I am one of the most conservative people you will ever meet. Don't confuse my opnion reagrding children and sports with politics. I speak from decades of expereince, not only as a parent of children that have played sportsall the way through College, but as an Instructor, coach, administrator, etc.

Insulation is not the proper word. I am not saying that. All I am saying is that the current environment, that is, the increased competition at younger and younger ages, in events totally orchestrated by adults and their enablers, is not condusive to the overall menal health and growth of the child participants.

The "trials and tribulations" must be those that children can understand, digest , and grow with.

well said.

[Unregistered]

You are exactly the kind of parent that gives competitive youth sports a bad name.

No one said going outside the rules and resorting to cheap shots because you're frustrated is acceptable play --ever.

Sounds to me like you're willing to let yuor kid be a doormat in the almighty name of sportsmanship.

No, I'm the kind of parent that makes sure my kid knows that no one can make them feel inferior without their consent. If that makes me the person that gives competitive sports a bad name I'll gladly wear the shoe.

Bottom line is you reap what you sow. I'm not saying it's acceptable, but I think any coach that runs up a score with the intent of humiliating another team needs to do so with the understanding that there may be an adverse response.

Props to Cujo for drilling the hidden ball trick guy!!!!

[Unregistered]

Don't see what the fuss is. Life is fair. The better teams win, sometimes by a big margin. No pain, no gain.

[Unregistered]

Maple must step up

Sounds to me like you're willing to let yuor kid be a doormat in the almighty name of sportsmanship.

No, I'm the kind of parent that makes sure my kid knows that no one can make them feel inferior without their consent. If that makes me the person that gives competitive sports a bad name I'll gladly wear the shoe.

Bottom line is you reap what you sow. I'm not saying it's acceptable, but I think any coach that runs up a score with the intent of humiliating another team needs to do so with the understanding that there may be an adverse response.

Props to Cujo for drilling the hidden ball trick guy!!!!

Another reason for MAPLE and KI to step up and prevent this mayhem from both sides. Games must not go past 9-0 or should be ended if it is too lop sided.

[Beachbum]

I have really been trying to avoid commenting on this but I just can't walk away from this one.

Yes, I have been on both sides of this situation.

Just recently in a game I looked at the other team warming up and knew right away it was going to be a wipe out. I had my goalie start as a striker and took my best players and had them rotate in goal. And my goalie was NOT a field player, believe me. By the 2nd half I was down to 9 players (one of which was this goalie) and we had a 5-0 lead. My players were instructed do keep playing the way they would normally (So as not to gain bad habits) and if they had an goal scoring opportunity to shoot wide. My rational is if you are good enough to hit the net..You are good enough to miss it to. And yes, my backs played up, strikers had time as defenders, etc. The final score was 6-2 and we missed the net a solid 1/2 dozen times in the 2nd H. My kids could not wait to have the game end, it was no fun per se but they used it as time to work on skills, moves and positional play they would not have otherwise done in a more competitive games. I had both the head and assn coach come over to my players and thank them for showing class and restraint along with a few of the parents of the other team who spoke to me directly. As I have done earlier when I found myself on the other side of a few of these games and it was clear the other team/coach was holding his players back.

There are numerous issues here and in no particular order

1) Competitive sports and any level, in particular for pre-teens should INCLUDE teaching RESPECT (for yourself, your opponent, the referee and the game itself) and Sportmanship. If you fail to do so you have not done your job ... and doing so is not in conflict with teaching skills or competitive drive. The end result of not doing this is creating the shallow, self centered, over pampered, egotistical and obnoxious professional athletes we see today that have abundant natural athletic gifts and skill but the social acumen of a doorstop. Think Pittsburgh's quarterback.... Athletics is a real chance to teach class and was certainly an opportunity missed here.

2) Arrogance. Both these coaches and others roasted here in previous threads for running up the score (BB) usually have little fear of the table being turned on them. Does anyone really think we will see the day when any FH team will give a JD coached Stars team a 16-0 beat down. Not real likely in the near future. But pride do cometh before the fall. For every self centered little teenage Mia Monster you attract by this win you will lose the excellent and skill player of character and leadership that will look (or who's family will direct them) elsewhere ... and please do not tell me this doesn't happen. There is a reason that last years Stars U-13G State Cup champion team was the Athletics and NOT the hyped United team and it was not a coincidence, it was the 2nd year in a row.

3) Did the kids enjoy this...We can be sure the FH team was not having fun but unless the entire Stars team was a group of little monsters I am pretty sure they were not really enjoying it either. Watch the kids body language. When they stop celebrating goals as a team the fun is gone and when they are casual to the point of embarrassed when they score the kids GET IT ... even if the adult instructors do not. But being kids, they will do as they are told and being on an elite team they will do WHAT THEY ARE TOLD so as not to lose their slot. But I doubt any of the kids were enjoying this game past the first 20 minutes and if they were mores the pity.

4) This was NOT the FH teams choice. In the Fall of U-11 MAPLE randomly places teams in divisions with some geographic considerations. That there should be a better system is certainly debatable but to state that this team "Got what it asked for" is misinformed. This does start to sort itself out as seasons provide history and records past U-11 fall and the competition becomes more even. I doubt very highly that the difference between a 5-0 or 6-0 win and a 16-0 win will make any difference in the eventual placement of JD's team in MAPLE Blue in the Spring. There was no reason to do this other than "they could"

5) If this was a U-15 and older game..well so be it. They are then young adults and have chosen their path and its consequences and it is the time to start learning some of the adult lessons you will need to know when you are out in the world and on your own. At 10 years old however, we should be encouraging young people to stay active and have a love of the game this does nothing to help keep these kids on the pitch and out of trouble later down the road. For those applauding these smack downs, let me say it again...THEY ARE 10 YEARS OLD. We lament that in this day and age our kids are "growing up to soon" and then we applaud the adult like lesson that "life is hard" and unless you are good enough "it sucks to be you"....Really, is this the lessons you want YOUR 10 YEAR OLD taught. If so, for the love of god please stop breeding, the world has seen enough monsters like your children will become.

I review situations like this with my players and parents right at the beginning of the season, why we will not continue pound on another team when the game is clearly not a match of equals. I make it very clear that I understand the incredible influence a coach has on young people and how I take very seriously not just teaching soccer but to be another appropriate role model for the children entrusted to me each week. As coaches we are and should be more than just instructors and there is a real disconnect if these adults fail to see and take responsibility for the roles they have chosen for themselves.

In the end, it is called SPORTMANSHIP for a reason and that is because it can and should be taught within the parameters of sporting activities.

I know there are lots (sorry, but WAY to many) people here who disagree with me, but this weekend and every weekend we are tested as adults and role models to very impressionable (10 YEAR OLD) young children. And last weekend these coaches failed miserably to meet even the lowest standards of dignity or restraint.

They may be able to teach skills and tactics, but in my opinion they need a refresher course in moral and honorable behavior before they hit the pitch again with young children.

[Unregistered]

Tell us what you really think?????

USA will never get any better at this sport if they can't be beaten!! You have to learn how to win and lose.

In the premier league the biggest defeat in its history was Man United 9 - 0 Ipswich Town

Now you tell me did Alex Ferguson tell his players to stop scoring?!?!?!?!

Perhaps there may be a difference between grown men who are professionals and 5-6th graders?

Come on. Running up a score like that is indefensible. But it is a laugh to listen to you tough guys go "Darwin" on us. What a joke you are

[Unregistered]

Don't see what the fuss is. Life is fair. The better teams win, sometimes by a big margin. No pain, no gain.

These are KIDS!!!!! They have a long time to learn that the big bad world is a nasty place. On the soccer field is not one of those places that they should be learning the ugly side of life's lessons. Last year my daughters team was not allowed to win by more than 2 or 3 goals. They were forced to practice foot and passing skills once they had a comfortable lead and everyone went home happy. My daughters team and the other team because they now learned what they needed to do to get better and compete. They even could still try to learn things during the game...New club this year and the first game they destroyed the other team. Never even let them control the ball in the offensive zone, game got very chippy at the end and nobody learned a thing...I think I miss her old club.

[Unregistered]

I have really been trying to avoid commenting on this but I just can't walk away from this one.

Yes, I have been on both sides of this situation.

Just recently in a game I looked at the other team warming up and knew right away it was going to be a wipe out. I had my goalie start as a striker and took my best players and had them rotate in goal. And my goalie was NOT a field player, believe me. By the 2nd half I was down to 9 players (one of which was this goalie) and we had a 5-0 lead. My players were instructed do keep playing the way they would normally (So as not to gain bad habits) and if they had an goal scoring opportunity to shoot wide. My rational is if you are good enough to hit the net..You are good enough to miss it to. And yes, my backs played up, strikers had time as defenders, etc. The final score was 6-2 and we missed the net a solid 1/2 dozen times in the 2nd H. My kids could not wait to have the game end, it was no fun per se but they used it as time to work on skills, moves and positional play they would not have otherwise done in a more competitive games. I had both the head and assn coach come over to my players and thank them for showing class and restraint along with a few of the parents of the other team who spoke to me directly. As I have done earlier when I found myself on the other side of a few of these games and it was clear the other team/coach was holding his players back.

There are numerous issues here and in no particular order

1) Competitive sports and any level, in particular for pre-teens should INCLUDE teaching RESPECT (for yourself, your opponent, the referee and the game itself) and Sportmanship. If you fail to do so you have not done your job ... and doing so is not in conflict with teaching skills or competitive drive. The end result of not doing this is creating the shallow, self centered, over pampered, egotistical and obnoxious professional athletes we see today that have abundant natural athletic gifts and skill but the social acumen of a doorstop. Think Pittsburgh's quarterback.... Athletics is a real chance to teach class and was certainly an opportunity missed here.

2) Arrogance. Both these coaches and others roasted here in previous threads for running up the score (BB) usually have little fear of the table being turned on them. Does anyone really think we will see the day when any FH team will give a JD coached Stars team a 16-0 beat down. Not real likely in the near future. But pride do cometh before the fall. For every self centered little teenage Mia Monster you attract by this win you will lose the excellent and skill player of character and leadership that will look (or who's family will direct them) elsewhere ... and please do not tell me this doesn't happen. There is a reason that last years Stars U-13G State Cup champion team was the Athletics and NOT the hyped United team and it was not a coincidence, it was the 2nd year in a row.

3) Did the kids enjoy this...We can be sure the FH team was not having fun but unless the entire Stars team was a group of little monsters I am pretty sure they were not really enjoying it either. Watch the kids body language. When they stop celebrating goals as a team the fun is gone and when they are casual to the point of embarrassed when they score the kids GET IT ... even if the adult instructors do not. But being kids, they will do as they are told and being on an elite team they will do WHAT THEY ARE TOLD so as not to lose their slot. But I doubt any of the kids were enjoying this game past the first 20 minutes and if they were mores the pity.

4) This was NOT the FH teams choice. In the Fall of U-11 MAPLE randomly places teams in divisions with some geographic considerations. That there should be a better system is certainly debatable but to state that this team "Got what it asked for" is misinformed. This does start to sort itself out as seasons provide history and records past U-11 fall and the competition becomes more even. I doubt very highly that the difference between a 5-0 or 6-0 win and a 16-0 win will make any difference in the eventual placement of JD's team in MAPLE Blue in the Spring. There was no reason to do this other than "they could"

5) If this was a U-15 and older game..well so be it. They are then young adults and have chosen their path and its consequences and it is the time to start learning some of the adult lessons you will need to know when you are out in the world and on your own. At 10 years old however, we should be encouraging young people to stay active and have a love of the game this does nothing to help keep these kids on the pitch and out of trouble later down the road. For those applauding these smack downs, let me say it again...THEY ARE 10 YEARS OLD. We lament that in this day and age our kids are "growing up to soon" and then we applaud the adult like lesson that "life is hard" and unless you are good enough "it sucks to be you"....Really, is this the lessons you want YOUR 10 YEAR OLD taught. If so, for the love of god please stop breeding, the world has seen enough monsters like your children will become.

I review situations like this with my players and parents right at the beginning of the season, why we will not continue pound on another team when the game is clearly not a match of equals. I make it very clear that I understand the incredible influence a coach has on young people and how I take very seriously not just teaching soccer but to be another appropriate role model for the children entrusted to me each week. As coaches we are and should be more than just instructors and there is a real disconnect if these adults fail to see and take responsibility for the roles they have chosen for themselves.

In the end, it is called SPORTMANSHIP for a reason and that is because it can and should be taught within the parameters of sporting activities.

I know there are lots (sorry, but WAY to many) people here who disagree with me, but this weekend and every weekend we are tested as adults and role models to very impressionable (10 YEAR OLD) young children. And last weekend these coaches failed miserably to meet even the lowest standards of dignity or restraint.

They may be able to teach skills and tactics, but in my opinion they need a refresher course in moral and honorable behavior before they hit the pitch again with young children.

Thanks. That was a great post and did a terrific job of putting this issue in perspective. This topic comes up EVERY fall during the first Maple U11 season. Your level headed input is greatly appreciated.

[Unregistered]

Thanks. That was a great post and did a terrific job of putting this issue in perspective. This topic comes up EVERY fall during the first Maple U11 season. Your level headed input is greatly appreciated.

I agree, that was the most well thought out, well written, and spot on post I've read in quite some time.

Excellent job!!

[Unregistered]

I agree, that was the most well thought out, well written, and spot on post I've read in quite some time.

Excellent job!!

Self-righteous drivel.

It's obvious that in the quoted post the mod was coaching an 11v11 game. In the old 11v11 U11 games, scores of 10 plus goals were rare. But now that U11 is playing 8v8, the game has changed. The good players are just too close to the goal.

I would say the JD coached U11 girls team could beat the FH team 20-0 minimum. So it is apparent to me that they let up on the gas in some manner, whether it was positionally or some other way.

The mod's team had a 5 goal lead in an 11v11 game. That's gotta be equivalent to a 10 goal lead in an 8v8 game.

Shame on you mod for running up the score.

The rest of you are completely in the dark. Get off your soapboxes and enjoy the fact that the kids are young.

[Unregistered]

Self-righteous drivel.

It's obvious that in the quoted post the mod was coaching an 11v11 game. In the old 11v11 U11 games, scores of 10 plus goals were rare. But now that U11 is playing 8v8, the game has changed. The good players are just too close to the goal.

I would say the JD coached U11 girls team could beat the FH team 20-0 minimum. So it is apparent to me that they let up on the gas in some manner, whether it was positionally or some other way.

The mod's team had a 5 goal lead in an 11v11 game. That's gotta be equivalent to a 10 goal lead in an 8v8 game.

Shame on you mod for running up the score.

The rest of you are completely in the dark. Get off your soapboxes and enjoy the fact that the kids are young.

Talk about drivel. Do you even have kids? Doubt it. You sound like some 30 something, childless, coach troll. Go Away.