Winning matters

[FSM]

Came across this post in the coaching forum and thought it good enough to share:

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Winning matters. If you are a competitor you want to win. You should hurt a little when you lose. To tell your players that winning or losing does not matter is fundamentally untrue.

Never deny the importance of winning.

But, do not over emphasize it.

What matters more than winning is playing the best you can. As a player you cannot control whether you win or lose. There are 21 other players on the field at the same time as you who can have as much impact. There is the referee. There are the playing conditions.

You have little to no control over the other 21 players, the referee or the conditions. You can control how you play. If you play your best and lose, you should hold your head up. If you play with less than your best and win, you should take no personal joy in the outcome. Be happy for your teammates, but recognize that you missed the mark.

We all make mistakes. Mistakes that stem from a lack of ability or knowledge are not something to castigate ourselves over unless we have failed to practice and had a chance to master the ability or knowledge and failed to take the opportunity.

If the mistake stems from trying our best, but our best was not good enough, perhaps because we tried something we were learning but had not mastered, then we should be proud. Recognize the mistake, work to correct it, but also know the greater mistake would have been not to have tried.

Wining matters. It is one reason we play. Another reason we play is to challenge ourselves and that reason matters more. If we meet the challenge we won a battle that matters more than who won than the game.

[Cujo]

Re: Winning matters

Came across this post in the coaching forum and thought it good enough to share:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winning matters. If you are a competitor you want to win. You should hurt a little when you lose. To tell your players that winning or losing does not matter is fundamentally untrue.

Never deny the importance of winning.

But, do not over emphasize it.

What matters more than winning is playing the best you can. As a player you cannot control whether you win or lose. There are 21 other players on the field at the same time as you who can have as much impact. There is the referee. There are the playing conditions.

You have little to no control over the other 21 players, the referee or the conditions. You can control how you play. If you play your best and lose, you should hold your head up. If you play with less than your best and win, you should take no personal joy in the outcome. Be happy for your teammates, but recognize that you missed the mark.

We all make mistakes. Mistakes that stem from a lack of ability or knowledge are not something to castigate ourselves over unless we have failed to practice and had a chance to master the ability or knowledge and failed to take the opportunity.

If the mistake stems from trying our best, but our best was not good enough, perhaps because we tried something we were learning but had not mastered, then we should be proud. Recognize the mistake, work to correct it, but also know the greater mistake would have been not to have tried.

Wining matters. It is one reason we play. Another reason we play is to challenge ourselves and that reason matters more. If we meet the challenge we won a battle that matters more than who won than the game.

What age? Last night I was reffing a U10 game and I stopped putting up goals when the differential reached 6. I was getting all kinds of funny looks from the players on both sides after the goals were scored . I guess they were trying to figure out why I was not recording the goals. The parents and coaches did not say anything. Nor did the players. After 3 or 4 more goals were scored they stopped looking at me. It did not diminish any aspect of the game. They played hard, learned a few things, and had a good time. In fact when the team that was winning stopped trying to score and focus on passing at one point they strung 6 passes together. Not bad for 8 and 9 year olds.

Re: Winning matters

What age? Last night I was reffing a U10 game and I stopped putting up goals when the differential reached 6. I was getting all kinds of funny looks from the players on both sides after the goals were scored . I guess they were trying to figure out why I was not recording the goals. The parents and coaches did not say anything. Nor did the players. After 3 or 4 more goals were scored they stopped looking at me. It did not diminish any aspect of the game. They played hard, learned a few things, and had a good time. In fact when the team that was winning stopped trying to score and focus on passing at one point they strung 6 passes together. Not bad for 8 and 9 year olds.

Was there a 6 goal cap in the rules? Or, did you just decide to create one on the spot. Is that the job of the Ref or should it be decided bu the Coaches?

[Cujo]

Re: Winning matters

What age? Last night I was reffing a U10 game and I stopped putting up goals when the differential reached 6. I was getting all kinds of funny looks from the players on both sides after the goals were scored . I guess they were trying to figure out why I was not recording the goals. The parents and coaches did not say anything. Nor did the players. After 3 or 4 more goals were scored they stopped looking at me. It did not diminish any aspect of the game. They played hard, learned a few things, and had a good time. In fact when the team that was winning stopped trying to score and focus on passing at one point they strung 6 passes together. Not bad for 8 and 9 year olds.

Was there a 6 goal cap in the rules? Or, did you just decide to create one on the spot. Is that the job of the Ref or should it be decided bu the Coaches?

My discretion if the score gets out of hand per the facility DOC. Why does that matter? The final score was 19 to 4 and I stopped at 9-3. Should I have run the tally up to humiliate the kids? The losing team also has the option of adding a player at +6. They chose not to and that kept the tally rolling. Besides they knew who won and lost. At U8 we don't post the score but it is recorded.

Re: Winning matters

What age? Last night I was reffing a U10 game and I stopped putting up goals when the differential reached 6. I was getting all kinds of funny looks from the players on both sides after the goals were scored . I guess they were trying to figure out why I was not recording the goals. The parents and coaches did not say anything. Nor did the players. After 3 or 4 more goals were scored they stopped looking at me. It did not diminish any aspect of the game. They played hard, learned a few things, and had a good time. In fact when the team that was winning stopped trying to score and focus on passing at one point they strung 6 passes together. Not bad for 8 and 9 year olds.

Was there a 6 goal cap in the rules? Or, did you just decide to create one on the spot. Is that the job of the Ref or should it be decided bu the Coaches?

My discretion if the score gets out of hand per the facility DOC. Why does that matter? The final score was 19 to 4 and I stopped at 9-3. Should I have run the tally up to humiliate the kids? The losing team also has the option of adding a player at +6. They chose not to and that kept the tally rolling. Besides they knew who won and lost. At U8 we don't post the score but it is recorded.

If it's a house rule, then it's fine by me. Otherwise, I think it should be worked out by the Coaches and not a Ref.

[FSM]

Cujo, I'm not sure what point are you trying to make in regards to the original post.

[Cujo]

Cujo, I'm not sure what point are you trying to make in regards to the original post.

I think that the quote you printed becomes increasingly relevant as the players get older and by age 13 or 14 should be ingrained in their psyche. Nothing more or less.

Re: Winning matters

Came across this post in the coaching forum and thought it good enough to share:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winning matters. If you are a competitor you want to win. You should hurt a little when you lose. To tell your players that winning or losing does not matter is fundamentally untrue.

Never deny the importance of winning.

But, do not over emphasize it.

Years ago, when my 8-year-old daughter was playing in our town league, the parents did not care who won or lost, or by how many goals. But the 8-year-olds did!

[Cujo]

Re: Winning matters

Came across this post in the coaching forum and thought it good enough to share:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winning matters. If you are a competitor you want to win. You should hurt a little when you lose. To tell your players that winning or losing does not matter is fundamentally untrue.

Never deny the importance of winning.

But, do not over emphasize it.

Years ago, when my 8-year-old daughter was playing in our town league, the parents did not care who won or lost, or by how many goals. But the 8-year-olds did!

True they cared during the game. What about an hour afterwards? I think that is one of the major differences between 8 year olds and 15 year olds.

Re: Winning matters

Came across this post in the coaching forum and thought it good enough to share:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winning matters. If you are a competitor you want to win. You should hurt a little when you lose. To tell your players that winning or losing does not matter is fundamentally untrue.

Never deny the importance of winning.

But, do not over emphasize it.

Years ago, when my 8-year-old daughter was playing in our town league, the parents did not care who won or lost, or by how many goals. But the 8-year-olds did!

True they cared during the game. What about an hour afterwards? I think that is one of the major differences between 8 year olds and 15 year olds.

The way I like to think about it - particularly at the younger ages - is that the kids should compete to win, but the adults shouldn't be competing thru the kids. For example - the parent/coach who hangs a kid behind the defenders because there is no offsides rule or the parent/coach who doesn't let little Sally play because she's not very good or the parent/coach who bullies the 12-year-old ref into making calls that go his team's way, or the parent/coach who is teaching kids how to kill the clock in a U8 game to preserve the 1 goal lead........ These are the folks that ruin the experience for the kids and the rest of us. Of course the kids should compete and they should work to win - whether its by scoring a goal or making a great save or beating another kid to a 50/50 ball, etc.

"the kids should compete to win, but the adults shouldn't be competing thru the kids."

Nicely put and easier said then done for even the most committed. I think that's the reason U12 State Cups shouldn't be held.

[FSM]

"the kids should compete to win, but the adults shouldn't be competing thru the kids."

Nicely put and easier said then done for even the most committed. I think that's the reason U12 State Cups shouldn't be held.

I think the problem we have is that too many are playing to win every game they play. So in Mass. you have a league where promotion and relelgation requires teams to play to win and in the old days, how you did in the league actually determined whether you got into State Cups or not. I believe that may have been the reason MYSA eliminated State Cups for this age, but as I'm not sure when the changes were made, I can't say for sure. Maybe MYSA should consider reinstating the U11 and U12 tournament, but with rules that would encourage good coaching practices. Consider this, all players must play 50% of the game and the game is divided into quarters with substitution only at the quarter unless for an injury. IMO this would be a good coaching test.

Maybe MYSA should consider reinstating the U11 and U12 tournament, but with rules that would encourage good coaching practices. Consider this, all players must play 50% of the game and the game is divided into quarters with substitution only at the quarter unless for an injury. IMO this would be a good coaching test.

Interesting idea. I would add players would have to be guaranteed 1 start during the RR like the Academies are requiring players starting 30% of games. This would force coaches to prepare their whole teams throughout the year for this coveted tournament.

The best game I've seen my son's team play (and they win as much as they lose) is a game where they ended up losing in the last few minutes. The boys were up by two points for most of the game, but better than that, they played beautifully. Great passing, great teamwork, good goal scoring. The other team was ranked #1 and after the game the players and parents of that team felt relieved. Our kids were disappointed but appreciated that they had played well. The parents of my son's team, however, were ecstatic because the kids had played so well. No one said "too bad they lost." It was a nice experience. Most losses don't feel so good.