“Since it was formed, Eclipse has dedicated itself and its staff to maintain the highest standards and ethics of the sport and has sought to adhere to all of the rules, regulations and guidance provided by the governing and sanctioning bodies of our sport,” Nesci said in a statement.
Dames and Eclipse hired a coach, John Soltani, who was later sanctioned by the U.S. Center for SafeSport, an independent nonprofit tasked with investigating child and sexual abuse in sports, for behavior at a previous club. He was placed on probation for two years after a SafeSport investigation found he had engaged in “verbal acts that constitute the sexual harassment of a minor athlete” at a previous club, according to a 2020 notice from the Illinois Youth Soccer Association to Soltani obtained by The Post. The document says the IYSA “determined that this behavior is abhorrent in youth sports.”
In a statement to The Post, a lawyer for Soltani said the SafeSport complaint was the result of “a single, misguided player, prompted by a lack of playing time." The attorney noted that SafeSport had chosen to impose a sanction “unaccompanied by any permanent record, which expressly permitted John to continue coaching soccer on every level," rather than suspending him from coaching. (A spokesman for SafeSport declined to comment, citing the confidentiality of its investigations.)
Dames and Eclipse received a copy of the October 2020 document sent by the IYSA, which said Soltani was barred from meetings and one-on-one conversations with players as part of his two-year probation. Soltani remains employed by the club as the director of coaching at its North location.
Nesci said the club was not aware of a potential investigation by SafeSport when Soltani was hired in 2019. He said Soltani had complied with his probation and the club had not received any complaints against Soltani.
The player who had a sexual relationship with Dames at 18 said she thought parents also bore some responsibility for the abuse she and other girls said they endured. Now with a child of her own, she said, she could not imagine allowing her own child to be treated the way Dames treated her.
“Every parent — none of them knew about the sexual abuse, but every parent knew and had heard Rory be abusive at a practice or game, and they turned a blind eye to it,” she said. “They all decided that it was okay, that it was a means to an end. People were willing to do anything to get their kids on these teams.”
Leanna, who began to play for Dames at 13, earned a spot on a college soccer team, she said, but quit after a semester. She hasn’t played competitively since. (Taylor Glascock/For the Washington Post)
Lasting pain
Dames’s impact stayed with many of the girls he coached as teenagers for years. It stayed with them on the soccer field, where they were terrified to make even tiny mistakes. But for some, it also lingered in their everyday lives and relationships. Four said they sought therapy because of their time playing for him.
“Playing college soccer, winning championships, they’re amazing memories, but they’re all tainted for me now,” said the player who had a sexual relationship with Dames. “None of it is what it should be. We have to do better.”
Leanna, who began to play for Dames at 13, earned a spot on a college team, she said, but quit after one semester. She hasn’t played competitively since. “Growing up, when you’re exposed to someone like him, a man degrading you constantly, you look at yourself and you don’t see your own worth,” Leanna said. “It’s very damaging. Those are your formative years.”
After Dames had spent years belittling her and making fun of her weight, Hall said, she played for a female coach in college in whose office she often cried, struggling to cope with trusting male authority figures after Dames.
“She’d say to me, ‘No one can give or take your confidence away other than you,’ ” Hall said. “I’d look at her and say, ‘You did not have Rory Dames as your coach.’ ”
Dames and Eclipse hired a coach, John Soltani, who was later sanctioned by the U.S. Center for SafeSport, an independent nonprofit tasked with investigating child and sexual abuse in sports, for behavior at a previous club. He was placed on probation for two years after a SafeSport investigation found he had engaged in “verbal acts that constitute the sexual harassment of a minor athlete” at a previous club, according to a 2020 notice from the Illinois Youth Soccer Association to Soltani obtained by The Post. The document says the IYSA “determined that this behavior is abhorrent in youth sports.”
In a statement to The Post, a lawyer for Soltani said the SafeSport complaint was the result of “a single, misguided player, prompted by a lack of playing time." The attorney noted that SafeSport had chosen to impose a sanction “unaccompanied by any permanent record, which expressly permitted John to continue coaching soccer on every level," rather than suspending him from coaching. (A spokesman for SafeSport declined to comment, citing the confidentiality of its investigations.)
Dames and Eclipse received a copy of the October 2020 document sent by the IYSA, which said Soltani was barred from meetings and one-on-one conversations with players as part of his two-year probation. Soltani remains employed by the club as the director of coaching at its North location.
Nesci said the club was not aware of a potential investigation by SafeSport when Soltani was hired in 2019. He said Soltani had complied with his probation and the club had not received any complaints against Soltani.
The player who had a sexual relationship with Dames at 18 said she thought parents also bore some responsibility for the abuse she and other girls said they endured. Now with a child of her own, she said, she could not imagine allowing her own child to be treated the way Dames treated her.
“Every parent — none of them knew about the sexual abuse, but every parent knew and had heard Rory be abusive at a practice or game, and they turned a blind eye to it,” she said. “They all decided that it was okay, that it was a means to an end. People were willing to do anything to get their kids on these teams.”
Leanna, who began to play for Dames at 13, earned a spot on a college soccer team, she said, but quit after a semester. She hasn’t played competitively since. (Taylor Glascock/For the Washington Post)
Lasting pain
Dames’s impact stayed with many of the girls he coached as teenagers for years. It stayed with them on the soccer field, where they were terrified to make even tiny mistakes. But for some, it also lingered in their everyday lives and relationships. Four said they sought therapy because of their time playing for him.
“Playing college soccer, winning championships, they’re amazing memories, but they’re all tainted for me now,” said the player who had a sexual relationship with Dames. “None of it is what it should be. We have to do better.”
Leanna, who began to play for Dames at 13, earned a spot on a college team, she said, but quit after one semester. She hasn’t played competitively since. “Growing up, when you’re exposed to someone like him, a man degrading you constantly, you look at yourself and you don’t see your own worth,” Leanna said. “It’s very damaging. Those are your formative years.”
After Dames had spent years belittling her and making fun of her weight, Hall said, she played for a female coach in college in whose office she often cried, struggling to cope with trusting male authority figures after Dames.
“She’d say to me, ‘No one can give or take your confidence away other than you,’ ” Hall said. “I’d look at her and say, ‘You did not have Rory Dames as your coach.’ ”
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