Dirty Jersey Youth Soccer Domination

[Guest]

I stopped reading after “U-10”. If you’re not happy, then move on. Period.

[Guest]

Not all Parents are like that.
Not all parents play their kid more just because....

you must be in the 5%. The rest are there to make sure their kids play the positions/time they think they should play. Buyer beware.

[Guest]

I stopped reading after “U-10”. If you’re not happy, then move on. Period.

I am still wondering what was discussed in the u9 “players only meeting”

[Guest]

I am still wondering what was discussed in the u9 “players only meeting”

As long as you have it in you to cheer for both sides as you root for your child's team I don't think that you need to constrain yourself to golf-claps. But you should perhaps step outside yourself now and again and gauge yourself against the rest of the crowd. If you are 10-20% more enthusiastic then that's probably Ok...you are just being yourself. But if you are 500% more enthusiastic, then yeah, you are that guy. Also, even if you don't want to commit to being a coach you should perhaps introduce yourself to your son's coach and let him know that you would be happy to chip in if there was something you could do for him. He is just some other kids dad after all. At that level it is mostly herding cats type work, and having more help would probably be good.

[Guest]

I am still wondering what was discussed in the u9 “players only meeting”

What parents bring the best snacks

[Guest]

Not sure how this is going to turn out. I think I just need to write this out to figure out how I feel.

We’re in the middle of the oldest daughter’s second year of travel soccer. U-10 team, local club based in town, in a league of similar town-based clubs, with the league one of 7 or 8 under the larger umbrella of NJ Youth Soccer. And I think the team is about to implode, if not this winter break then after the spring season.

OK, that got way too long. Short story, a rightfully frustrated dad of a rightfully frustrated player on my daughter’s team is going to try to start a second U-10 girls travel team for spring play. Losing that player will be bad enough, but I’m sure at least two other families on our team would jump ship without even thinking it through fully. Plus there is the specter of the calendar birth year re-alignment, which would cost us three players (including goalie #1 and our top scorer) if/when it happens. I think we would prefer this guy as coach, but would likely hold my daughter to her commitment to the current team through the spring season, then maybe give her a choice. Or, while I’m biased, I also think she’s good enough that we could find another club or academy to take out money to let her play for them. Who knows. However, I really doubt he can find 8+ girls to play at all, much less 8+ quality players, just based on the lack of players at tryouts. Either way, if he makes this move I can’t see his kid being back, and it could get real ugly if the other parents try to leave, too.

Long story:
This goes back to the initial tryouts when the team was first being formed during the spring of 2014. My daughter was part of the core of a rec team that had been together for a couple of seasons. They played well together, and at the end of that (undefeated) spring season the coach recommended that four of the girls (including my daughter and his) try out for the new U-9 girls team. He was the one forwarding us the information on the tryouts, including a last minute change in schedule. He also was apparently not reading the emails too carefully because he and his daughter showed up about an hour late for the tryouts. He now insists he had no desire to be the coach, and I can only take his word on that, but by that time the guy who ended up as (and still is) the coach had made his move and was all but in. More importantly, the rec coach’s daughter, despite clearly being more than skilled enough, did not make the team. My kid and the two others from the rec team did.

This sucked. It sucked for her. It sucked for dad. It sucked for the parents of kids who made the team who knew her, because it started our relationship with the new coach off on a sour note. And I don’t think it has recovered, or maybe it never would have been strong. First, the positives. He’s great interacting with the girls. He is dedicated, and he cares. I like the way he runs practices. Very skills and drills based, and not a lot of scrimmaging which I guess does bother some of the parents. The team has played well together, and earned a flight promotion in their first year playing together, even with a restructuring in our league this fall that saw them go from 11 teams per flight (playing each team once) to 6 teams per flight (playing a home and home with each team). I think my daughter has greatly improved in the past year, and outside an issue I’ll get to in the negatives, has really enjoyed playing for him and for this team.

The negatives. He’s just a horrible communicator with anyone other than the kids. Imagine someone you know who gives the most terse, impersonal replies possible via email, and then imagine that’s how he often talks to the parents, too. Not all of the time, but often enough that everyone is on edge when they need to speak to him, because they never know if they’re going to get blown off or worse berated. He has refused offers to nominate a team manager or treasurer, though he has been (after repeated requests) been good about reporting the details of the team funds. He is pretty set with where he plays the girls in game. He’s clearly dedicated to giving his daughter time at forward, and especially this fall, no one other than her (and the other full-time forward, the assistant coach’s daughter) gets any meaningful time up front. Both girls and good, and work hard, but it’s very obvious, and for the girls who want the opportunity to play forward and their parents. My daughter has been slotted in a defensive role. She groused a bit early last season (she wanted to play mid so she could run more), but eventually realized she was (A) pretty damn good and (B) perhaps because of (A) very rarely left the field and she liked playing all game. He has generally used mid-field to hide the lesser skilled girls, and that is where the in game subs usually happen.

We had one girl, whose parents really didn’t get along with the coach, leave for an academy after the spring season (great family, that sucked). One other girl was not asked back. We picked up one other player, the rec coach’s daughter from up top who tried out again and could not be denied this time (that leaves us at 11, so three subs for 8x8, though we do have a player out for injury right now). She’s generally been placed in mid-field, which means she’s off and on the field. She’s played great, scored a hat-trick the one game she got time at forward (because of illness). Her dad understandably came into this season resenting the coach, and last night explained the full extent. He claims he knows for a fact (not sure how?) that the coach kept his daughter off the team last year because he was worried he (rec coach dad) would meddle with the coaching. Rec coach dad, being a rec coach and a dad with an older daughter who came through the club, is close with the club officials and I guess got this from them? That’s awful if true.

Coach apparently has a strict “no mid fielders past forwards, ever” rule during games, and that combined with the previous baggage and being played only at mid has the daughter not enjoying soccer, and rec coach dad feeling that too much of the game is geared toward giving the coach’s daughter (I should have used initials or something) a chance to star. So, he had her check out a couple of academies last month, got a verbal “she would make the team” from one, but went back to the town club to talk first. They gave him the option of starting his own team for the spring(?), rather than leaving, or trying to force the current coach out. He’s been scouting rec teams, and let his plan drop to some parents last night. He has not told the coach because he think it would affect his daughter’s playing time and treatment. I suggested the coach’s worry and actions about potential meddling became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He chuckled. There will most likely be blood.

Coach is an idiot, leave. Any coach that limits a player based on strict positional standards needs to have their license revoked. As for the birth year vs school year re-alignment, it isn't going to happen. Long story short, if your kid at the u-little stage isn't having fun then they aren't going to stay with it.

[Guest]

I am still wondering what was discussed in the u9 “players only meeting”

Our son just finished his first year of club soccer at U8 playing at an affiliate club for our local MLS team. He was clearly one of the best two kids on the team (we get written evaluations so I know they rate him highly). Our club has a pretty strict policy of not telling any kids they've officially made the team next year until after they see who shows up for tryouts on the first day. I feel confident they'll ask him to return. My question is, is it irresponsible not to also attend at least one other tryout at another club just in case? What do people typically do when they like the club they are with? The other club we would tryout in has heavily recruited our son for the past couple years. He's done some private training there and even guest played with them in a tournament this spring. I'd hate to burn our relationship with them by giving them false hope we are moving. I guess my question is, is it okay to only tryout at one club or should you always have a backup plan?

[Guest]

As long as you have it in you to cheer for both sides as you root for your child's team I don't think that you need to constrain yourself to golf-claps. But you should perhaps step outside yourself now and again and gauge yourself against the rest of the crowd. If you are 10-20% more enthusiastic then that's probably Ok...you are just being yourself. But if you are 500% more enthusiastic, then yeah, you are that guy. Also, even if you don't want to commit to being a coach you should perhaps introduce yourself to your son's coach and let him know that you would be happy to chip in if there was something you could do for him. He is just some other kids dad after all. At that level it is mostly herding cats type work, and having more help would probably be good.

That kind of thought has not been given to it. What they are is--well, the contract is being considered right now in the building--but what they would be is not something that would last 100 years, if that's what you're wondering. These are facilities that would have walls and a back and a roof and open into a hall with a mesh--very much like a prison cell, and they would be semi-prefabricated that would be moved down there and then erected relatively quickly.