Parents on sideline at practice

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Pressure bust pipes but pressure creates diamonds also. In this sport pressure must be on at practice the most. Play how you train. Is the motto. If you training enivorment is free and easy most likely thats how they will play in the game. Pressure is all over. Coaches should feel pressure because who wants a coach that can't handle pressure to teach or perform in certain situations.

Let the pressure come from the coach an teammates, not from the parents.

[Unregistered]

I know for tryouts parents at some clubs parents are not allowed on the sidelines; does this extend to practice during the regular season for any Florida Clubs.

For those of us that drive 30 + minutes each way, we are not going to go home and then come back again in 30 minutes.

You also get to see exactly what you are getting for your money. Is there any real training going on, or does the coach stand on the side and let the kids scrimmage all night long playing keep away schoolyard games. Have seen real training and babysitting over the years.

You also get to see if the DOC is anywhere to be found. 99% of the time they are not.

[Unregistered]

Coaching, I do not want parents anywhere near my practice that can distract my players.

6-9 it is okay but once they make the move to competitive parents need to step back.

The reason is that even if you sit there quietly and chat with other parents you child will look to you for positive affirmation.

Examples:

Your child does great in a drill, and I say "good job." They will look your way to see if you heard in and agreed. If I have to correct what they did wrong, they will look to see if you were disappointed.

As a parent, you are well behaved and not interfering with my training. The issue is your child wants to make you proud and please you in every way. Sitting on the sideline during practice changes my players focus on learning the game to pleasing mom or dad.

That is why I do not want parents on the sidelines during practice.

Sorry daddy coach, we see how you favor your kid at practice. It doesn't translate over to scoring goals unfortunately. Please quit.

[Unregistered]

A post with class

It is a long drive there and back and I use that time to talk to my child. What is interesting I do my best to not discuss soccer, unless they want to. It is hard, because I love that she plays and I very much enjoy her experiencing some of the things I experienced as a child, but I also know that over time my relationship with my own father was always centered around football. I look back and can find few conversations about anything but football and I didn't want that relationship with my child. If they want to talk I will be happy to, but I also try to take interest in other things that interest them.

Getting to your point. You are very much correct. Watching your child may feel like support, but it doesn't allow them to be themselves. All kids have a personality that is different from the one they show to their parents and only when I am not around are tey comfortable enough to allow that personality to show.

I don't say this to be negative to the parents who do stay and watch. Maybe those children feel more comfortable with their parents there. In the end, to each their own, I think it s good, for all of us, to understand that each family is different and we should do our best not to judge the way they do things. There is not one way to raise a child to have positive results.

Anyways, good luck to all during the season...looking forward to an injury free season of growth and fun.

Sir/Mam
Excellent post!. I agree completely and best wishes to your family for a safe and successful season.

[Unregistered]

Pressure bust pipes but pressure creates diamonds also. In this sport pressure must be on at practice the most. Play how you train. Is the motto. If you training enivorment is free and easy most likely thats how they will play in the game. Pressure is all over. Coaches should feel pressure because who wants a coach that can't handle pressure to teach or perform in certain situations.

So you're saying that the pressure should come from the parents "helicoptering" over them?

Shouldn't the pressure come from their coach, training session intensity, teammates, opponents, etc.?

And your comment about pressure on the coach is also a bit off. Pressure doesn't come from the parents. It comes from adversity in talent level on the team; increase in ability of the players through the season; etc.

Does your kid's teacher have pressure from parents sitting in their classroom? Or does it come from the test scores of their students?

[Unregistered]

It is a long drive there and back and I use that time to talk to my child. What is interesting I do my best to not discuss soccer, unless they want to. It is hard, because I love that she plays and I very much enjoy her experiencing some of the things I experienced as a child, but I also know that over time my relationship with my own father was always centered around football. I look back and can find few conversations about anything but football and I didn't want that relationship with my child. If they want to talk I will be happy to, but I also try to take interest in other things that interest them.

Getting to your point. You are very much correct. Watching your child may feel like support, but it doesn't allow them to be themselves. All kids have a personality that is different from the one they show to their parents and only when I am not around are tey comfortable enough to allow that personality to show.

I don't say this to be negative to the parents who do stay and watch. Maybe those children feel more comfortable with their parents there. In the end, to each their own, I think it s good, for all of us, to understand that each family is different and we should do our best not to judge the way they do things. There is not one way to raise a child to have positive results.

Anyways, good luck to all during the season...looking forward to an injury free season of growth and fun.

Well said and very familiar - I had a similar situation with my own father. I found myself starting to do the same thing with my oldest when he was getting more serious about a different sport. Luckily he told me early on that he didn't want to talk about it all the time. Took awhile to get more comfortable stepping back and let him take the lead on talking about practice or a game if he wanted to.

I don't disagree that most parents are well intentioned. But all it takes is a few bad apples to make it miserable for their kids and possibly other players and the coach. All I do ask those who want to watch all the time first ask their kids what they prefer, and second ask themselves why they want to stay? Myself personally I use the time to finish up work, go for some much needed exercise or just chill and watch a downloaded TV show. A little me time lol :)

[Unregistered]

So you're saying that the pressure should come from the parents "helicoptering" over them?

Shouldn't the pressure come from their coach, training session intensity, teammates, opponents, etc.?

And your comment about pressure on the coach is also a bit off. Pressure doesn't come from the parents. It comes from adversity in talent level on the team; increase in ability of the players through the season; etc.

Does your kid's teacher have pressure from parents sitting in their classroom? Or does it come from the test scores of their students?

Not the original poster but some parents do put enormous pressure on their kids, even in public. Those are the ones that shouldn't be allowed to watch, ever! We had a guy in our town who was horrible to his kids - oh the stories I could tell. Not surprisingly the kids quit soccer and all the other sports he pushed them to "excel" in. One almost didn't garduate from HS she rebelled so badly. There aren't many Great Santinis out there but some come very close.

And according to several educators I have in my extended family, sadly some parents put tremendous pressure on their kids and their teachers in school as well. Heck I know people who called their kids college professors! All you can do is hope someone gives those kids a safe place to be themselves and that they turn out ok.

[Unregistered]

So you're saying that the pressure should come from the parents "helicoptering" over them?

Shouldn't the pressure come from their coach, training session intensity, teammates, opponents, etc.?

And your comment about pressure on the coach is also a bit off. Pressure doesn't come from the parents. It comes from adversity in talent level on the team; increase in ability of the players through the season; etc.

Does your kid's teacher have pressure from parents sitting in their classroom? Or does it come from the test scores of their students?

I'm sure every parent applies pressure on a teacher when they feel the teacher isn't getting the best out of their kid same for coaches you are taking my words and mixing it around. The school environment doesn't allow parents to sit in the class stick to the subject. Coaches worried about parents on the sidelines shows their lack of focus on what matters. You think everywhere in the world it's all quiet with no pressure on the sidelines in sports? Please you don't even know the half of it.

[Unregistered]

I have seen a lot of coaches want no parents at practice because of the pressure environment it's cause but if that's the case take all the parent fees away and go get big sponsors to sponsor team and pick whoever you want and that would be one of your rules to play. As long as parents pay out of pockets they will always have a say they are consumers. The club and the coaches extremely lack in the customer service part of the equations. They think all I'm here to do is coach and train the team. There is more to it. Provide feedback give out evaluations or to do list to improve upon when the players are not at training.

[Unregistered]

I'm sure every parent applies pressure on a teacher when they feel the teacher isn't getting the best out of their kid same for coaches you are taking my words and mixing it around. The school environment doesn't allow parents to sit in the class stick to the subject. Coaches worried about parents on the sidelines shows their lack of focus on what matters. You think everywhere in the world it's all quiet with no pressure on the sidelines in sports? Please you don't even know the half of it.

You are right. Coaches should not feel insecure if they are secure in their own talent as a coach of players and parents. Schools and teachers don't mind parents in the school or helping when they feel secure about how they are developing students. Schools and students do thrive when parents are involved, but I think everyone gets the hovering type and how it is detrimental to the child.

[Unregistered]

I have seen a lot of coaches want no parents at practice because of the pressure environment it's cause but if that's the case take all the parent fees away and go get big sponsors to sponsor team and pick whoever you want and that would be one of your rules to play. As long as parents pay out of pockets they will always have a say they are consumers. The club and the coaches extremely lack in the customer service part of the equations. They think all I'm here to do is coach and train the team. There is more to it. Provide feedback give out evaluations or to do list to improve upon when the players are not at training.

Very true. And unfortunately the coaches don't get paid enough to spend hours giving out evaluations, having conferences with parents after practice, and such. Until the clubs can train like true academies things will not change.

[Unregistered]

Very true. And unfortunately the coaches don't get paid enough to spend hours giving out evaluations, having conferences with parents after practice, and such. Until the clubs can train like true academies things will not change.

Clubs will not change because the club directors just want to get a check and not want to get their hands dirty and raise money for the club. All clubs should have 3-4 fundraisers per season to raise as much money as possible to help and provide more for the club. Coaches don't get paid enough but that doesn't means they should do more. Go out your way show your real worth so no one can ever question what you get paid etc.

[Unregistered]

Very true. And unfortunately the coaches don't get paid enough to spend hours giving out evaluations, having conferences with parents after practice, and such. Until the clubs can train like true academies things will not change.

But how many parents really know what a coach is doing and what good training looks like? Not many do. If you want feedback from a coach then demand it. It doesn't have to be formal and doesn't require much of his or her time. But you're the paying customer. If they refuse then go elsewhere. There are coaches and clubs out there that do know what they're doing and actually do develop soccer players

[Unregistered]

So you're saying that the pressure should come from the parents "helicoptering" over them?

Shouldn't the pressure come from their coach, training session intensity, teammates, opponents, etc.?

And your comment about pressure on the coach is also a bit off. Pressure doesn't come from the parents. It comes from adversity in talent level on the team; increase in ability of the players through the season; etc.

Does your kid's teacher have pressure from parents sitting in their classroom? Or does it come from the test scores of their students?

I would say as a teacher , BOTH!!!! Parents are allowed at any time to sit in the classroom and watch what is being taught, also administration can pop in at any time to watch and to see if your performing up to expectations. Test scores play a big part, but not the only part, as constant evaluations, from administration and peers are a big factor. So I say who evaluates the coaches, and if you say that their evaluations come from game performance then your wrong, it should come from multiple factors, being watched and evaluated by the paying customer is another.

[Unregistered]

I would say as a teacher , BOTH!!!! Parents are allowed at any time to sit in the classroom and watch what is being taught, also administration can pop in at any time to watch and to see if your performing up to expectations. Test scores play a big part, but not the only part, as constant evaluations, from administration and peers are a big factor. So I say who evaluates the coaches, and if you say that their evaluations come from game performance then your wrong, it should come from multiple factors, being watched and evaluated by the paying customer is another.

unlike say school where there is a "test" in soccer the only evaluation comes from competition. so let's say your kid really improved his dribbling and really improved his work in fractions. he takes the same fractions test and his score rises from a c to an a. you are happy with the teacher. he improves his dribbling but there is no "dribbling test." you still need to be able to beat your opponent. maybe the improved dribbling is not enough to get this done for many reasons unrelated to your kid's improvement and that have nothing to do with the fact that the soccer coach has done a great job. bottom line :Game performance is not a correct measure for evaluation.