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Tell the coach or not? Players drinking

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    #16
    we had a similar incident on our team - girls vaping at a party - nothing was said to the coach but most if not all the parents knew - shame on those parents - keep an eye on your kid

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      #17
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      He/She is a club soccer coach not the parent or guardian of these kids. They do not need to know.
      I can see that side of the argument - and it's different than a HS coach who has school policy issues to deal with. At the same time their actions/bad choices negatively impacted the rest of their team. Maybe they feel guilty after the fact (or maybe not), but a little kick in the pants from their teammates isn't a bad idea. They need to understand choices have consequences and it often times impacts others, not just yourself

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        #18
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Well drinking should not be a 'thing' at all and certainly not one of the most important over a sport. ILLEGAL DANGEROUS STUPID
        Well, it is. So pull your head out of your ... and stop trying to make it someone else's responsibility. He is a club coach, not a parent, guardian, school employee or anything other than a coach. Same argument is being made about suicide on another thread. Stop blaming the coach for anything other than a lack of performance on the pitch.
        Oh boy, illegal is such a scary word.
        But I'll give you dangerous and stupid

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          #19
          If your child confided in you, do not break that bond.
          Do not confront the players, don't arrange for any other players to confront them.
          Now that you and your child have this knowledge , keep it in mind regarding future situations and how close a relationship you want your child to have with the offenders.
          If the child confided in you , it usually means that they are uncomfortable with the behavior.
          This behavior will eventually catch up with the individuals involved.

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            #20
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Well, it is. So pull your head out of your ... and stop trying to make it someone else's responsibility. He is a club coach, not a parent, guardian, school employee or anything other than a coach. Same argument is being made about suicide on another thread. Stop blaming the coach for anything other than a lack of performance on the pitch.
            Oh boy, illegal is such a scary word.
            But I'll give you dangerous and stupid
            Coach, no one is blaming you, nor is it your responsibility to police this stuff. But have some common sense. If half of the team is playing like crap, wouldn't you be curious to know why. Wouldn't you want to know that is not your coaching or your pregame preparation. We know, all you want to do is coach soccer and nothing else. No noise from parents, no issues with players, no emails to send out. That would be the perfect job. But it doesn't exist.

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              #21
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              I can see that side of the argument - and it's different than a HS coach who has school policy issues to deal with. At the same time their actions/bad choices negatively impacted the rest of their team. Maybe they feel guilty after the fact (or maybe not), but a little kick in the pants from their teammates isn't a bad idea. They need to understand choices have consequences and it often times impacts others, not just yourself
              Team?? You folks are worrying about this at the club level?? What are you nuts? Time some of you wake up to the fact that club soccer is a mercenary endeavor where concepts like team carry next to no weight. That should not be a reason for another parent to step in and get involved in another family's business. You should only do that if you are close enough to the family and actually care enough about the specific child to worry about the personal ramifications of their drinking and then you do it with their parents, not a coach and certainly not because you are worried about some meaningless club soccer game. That does nothing but add drama.

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                #22
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                we had a similar incident on our team - girls vaping at a party - nothing was said to the coach but most if not all the parents knew - shame on those parents - keep an eye on your kid
                Don't be a prude. And don't guilt shame the parents. Heck, maybe the parents smoke pot too. Its quite common I hear. When I played years ago, many of my teammates (and I) liked to party. Mainly beer, booze, & babes. But we practiced hard and were always ready for game day. Indeed there is a lower tolerance for HS athletes these days, but let's not forgot they are kids and what we did when we were younger and what our parents did when they were younger, and on and on.

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Keep quiet. Some crusader will go overboard and the next thing you know somebody will try to impose the death penalty on everyone involved....
                  Bingo, they have already showed up.
                  What's next on the worry list-prom night, late night at a church function, dog kept barking, neighbor mowing at 7:00am.
                  Remember, these kids can be in the killing fields at 18, but they can't have a beer:it's too dangerous
                  How did we all manage to survive?

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                    #24
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Don't be a prude. And don't guilt shame the parents. Heck, maybe the parents smoke pot too. Its quite common I hear. When I played years ago, many of my teammates (and I) liked to party. Mainly beer, booze, & babes. But we practiced hard and were always ready for game day. Indeed there is a lower tolerance for HS athletes these days, but let's not forgot they are kids and what we did when we were younger and what our parents did when they were younger, and on and on.
                    Let's not forget that today is a completely different animal than when we were in high school. The access and type of drugs the kids are using is alarming. Drinking alcohol before a game is outrageous for this age. There should be ZERO tolerance. Aren't you paying attention? 5 heroin deaths every 5 minutes. Alcohol and pot are the first steps. Please open your mouth to nip this in the bud ASAP.

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      Well, it is. So pull your head out of your ... and stop trying to make it someone else's responsibility. He is a club coach, not a parent, guardian, school employee or anything other than a coach. Same argument is being made about suicide on another thread. Stop blaming the coach for anything other than a lack of performance on the pitch.
                      Oh boy, illegal is such a scary word.
                      But I'll give you dangerous and stupid
                      No one is blaming the coach, genius. The point is that the coach is probably someone the players would listen to to stop this dangerous behavior. It's also illegal to drink before the age of 21.

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                        #26
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Let's not forget that today is a completely different animal than when we were in high school. The access and type of drugs the kids are using is alarming. Drinking alcohol before a game is outrageous for this age. There should be ZERO tolerance. Aren't you paying attention? 5 heroin deaths every 5 minutes. Alcohol and pot are the first steps. Please open your mouth to nip this in the bud ASAP.
                        Ok Carrie Nation...... Please provide the source where they are gateway substances. I want empirical data. I drink wine but have never used heroin. What does that prove? Nothing.....

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Let's not forget that today is a completely different animal than when we were in high school. The access and type of drugs the kids are using is alarming. Drinking alcohol before a game is outrageous for this age. There should be ZERO tolerance. Aren't you paying attention? 5 heroin deaths every 5 minutes. Alcohol and pot are the first steps. Please open your mouth to nip this in the bud ASAP.
                          525,600 heroin deaths a year? There were 40 in NH. It is mainly a New England problem - no so much elsewhere in the country....


                          Sorry - I don't think so. Not saying it isn't a problem but exaggerate much???

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                            #28
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Let's not forget that today is a completely different animal than when we were in high school. The access and type of drugs the kids are using is alarming. Drinking alcohol before a game is outrageous for this age. There should be ZERO tolerance. Aren't you paying attention? 5 heroin deaths every 5 minutes. Alcohol and pot are the first steps. Please open your mouth to nip this in the bud ASAP.
                            Let's not forget that kids exaggerate to the max to appear cool. These are club kids from many different towns. For all you know the kid had 1/2 beer and claimed to be so wasted to appear cool in front of his friends. Or maybe he even made it up. You, nor the OP have zero idea whatsoever what they did or didn't do. The team lost, period. Mind your own business. and stop making excuses.

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                              #29
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Let's not forget that today is a completely different animal than when we were in high school. The access and type of drugs the kids are using is alarming. Drinking alcohol before a game is outrageous for this age. There should be ZERO tolerance. Aren't you paying attention? 5 heroin deaths every 5 minutes. Alcohol and pot are the first steps. Please open your mouth to nip this in the bud ASAP.
                              You must have forgotten about the drugs from the 60s. LSD and mushrooms. Cocaine in pro sports in the 70s and 80s. Pot & Alcohol since the dawn of time. Its out there and will be for a long time. I agree the heroin and preceding opoid issue is huge and real. And I'd prefer if my kids never touched any of this stuff. But let's not be hypocrites. Education is best. Telling the kids how easily addictive pain pills are and what the long term results can be. Doctor's not over prescribing pain meds. Other ways to reduce stress and get a high out of life.

                              And don't confuse having playing with a hangover with drinking before a game. The poster never said anything about the players drinking before a game...unless you are inferring the night before as "before" the game.

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                                Let's not forget that kids exaggerate to the max to appear cool. These are club kids from many different towns. For all you know the kid had 1/2 beer and claimed to be so wasted to appear cool in front of his friends. Or maybe he even made it up. You, nor the OP have zero idea whatsoever what they did or didn't do. The team lost, period. Mind your own business. and stop making excuses.
                                I actually overheard a similar conversation to what the OP heard a couple of weeks back. It was a bunch of U18 girls from another team talking about not wanting play the following weekend because of proms. The main concerned expressed by more than 1-2 was that they didn't want to play because they expected to so hung over that they wouldn't be able to get out of bed. I'm no prude because I did way more than my share of partying when I was their age but I was actually rather shocked by how loud and unapologetic they were and it certainly didn't come across as false bravado .. more like the banter of college kids who were more than versed in partying. The thing that made an impression me was it was more than clear that didn't give a crap about soccer any longer and the sad part is I recognized several of the main characters and believe that they are planning on playing college soccer next fall. Based upon the attitudes that I heard they have got a huge surprise in store for them. Wouldn't want to be in their shoes.

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