Message to Mr. Sperry
Dear Mr. Sperry,
You are obviously new to club soccer so I am going to sincerely try to help you navigate what can be a frustrating and challenging road. I hope you take the time to read and consider this.
If you look back to the beginning of this thread, it started out in a very general and typical way - "looks like Eugene, Vancouver, and Westside will be competing to win league." The very second post was from a Eugene parent and was what I would call a "look at us!" type of post. That post really started this whole thread down the path it has taken.
It is obvious you are frustrated with the posts in the thread, but given the source, you might consider directing your self-righteous lecture (that IS how you came off) to the people on your own sidelines and not the whole of Talking Soccer. You have a better chance of getting your point across that way.
Second, it is obvious by the content of these threads that something odd is going on with this team. I have been around club soccer for a while. My 02 daughter is #3 in our family. I have never seen such a vehement outcry of "dirty play" and "dirty coaching" about a team after just two games. Where there's smoke, there is usually fire. And if the team is being coached to play dirty, this type of negativity and outcry will continue. And you have two choices - either have your kid leave the team, or develop a thicker skin. What you should not do is come on TS and get all huffy defending your team - because you are throwing gasoline on that fire. My middle daughter's team played your coach's older team a few years back. He was a screamer then and probably still is. It doesn't surprise me one bit to read the complaints about him and the team in general, even though I haven't seen the team play - simply because I have seen HIM in action. If you genuinely don't know if the team is playing dirty, and you genuinely want to know, I suggest you video a game and attempt to watch it with an unbiased eye. Better yet, ask a friend who you trust to be honest with you for his/her opinion. You might be surprised by what you see and hear.
I have to address some of the actual content of your post. People on this chat board often say "we played" or "we beat." We all know and understand that the kids aren't posting and the parents don't play. But it's easier than saying "my daughter's team played" or my son's team beat" - kind of like how you will see DD or DS on here - it's shorthand.
I also take exception to your comment that most of the girls won't play soccer after high school. I don't know what the Eugene club's college prep/recruiting assistance is like. If your daughter is an 02 that means she's likely an 8th or 9th grader so you may not know either. But Eugene has a good reputation (for a small town) of getting girls to college including D1 schools (current players on Oregon and Oregon State rosters). There are many, many opportunities for girls to play beyond high school - D1, D2, D3, NAIA, and JuCo. While you may not have intended it, your derision of girls who have dreams and aspirations of playing at the next level was pretty lame. I have a girl playing in college, a girl verbally committed to play in college, and an 02 with dreams of her own. I would never, ever tell her she can't do it. She may not get to play at the level she wants to play at. She may "settle" for D2 or D3 instead of playing for UW, which is her current dream. But there's a place in college for girls who are willing to work hard and be great leaders and teammates. Your dismissive attitude towards young women's aspirations shows a lack of understanding of the purpose of club soccer and the high school club soccer process as a whole. Hopefully your coach and DOC can educate you on this. But if you truly think your kid has no chance to play at the next level, why are you doing club? It's expensive and requires a lot of travel and commitment from families. Why don't you just do rec - don't they have a rec program for high school players in Eugene?
Last, and I cannot emphasize this enough, I strongly encourage you to think more carefully before you post, and not to post from a place of anger. The smartest thing you could have done last night was write out your big long angry reply...and leave it alone and go to bed. Then get up this morning after a good night's sleep, read it again, and ask yourself if you really wanted those words, attached to YOUR name, attached to your DAUGHTER'S name, on the internet forever for all to see. You do understand that not only do we all know your name, but we now know who your daughter is, correct? And you do understand that you have no idea who is reading this - whether they are pedophiles, criminals, college coaches, her DOC, her teammates, her opponents - anyone can see this? You may feel like signing your name to your post was an act of courage. I see it as an act of recklessness. And your DOC, who is very highly respected in Oregon youth soccer, would likely tell you the same thing.
Last point - please. All caps is rude. It is widely understood to be shouting. If you meant to shout your entire post, that demonstrates how angry you were when you wrote it. If you did not mean to shout your entire post, that fundamental error makes people take your words, no matter how well intended, less seriously. Lose the all caps. And maybe consider stepping away from the computer as a whole for a while.
Dear Mr. Sperry,
You are obviously new to club soccer so I am going to sincerely try to help you navigate what can be a frustrating and challenging road. I hope you take the time to read and consider this.
If you look back to the beginning of this thread, it started out in a very general and typical way - "looks like Eugene, Vancouver, and Westside will be competing to win league." The very second post was from a Eugene parent and was what I would call a "look at us!" type of post. That post really started this whole thread down the path it has taken.
It is obvious you are frustrated with the posts in the thread, but given the source, you might consider directing your self-righteous lecture (that IS how you came off) to the people on your own sidelines and not the whole of Talking Soccer. You have a better chance of getting your point across that way.
Second, it is obvious by the content of these threads that something odd is going on with this team. I have been around club soccer for a while. My 02 daughter is #3 in our family. I have never seen such a vehement outcry of "dirty play" and "dirty coaching" about a team after just two games. Where there's smoke, there is usually fire. And if the team is being coached to play dirty, this type of negativity and outcry will continue. And you have two choices - either have your kid leave the team, or develop a thicker skin. What you should not do is come on TS and get all huffy defending your team - because you are throwing gasoline on that fire. My middle daughter's team played your coach's older team a few years back. He was a screamer then and probably still is. It doesn't surprise me one bit to read the complaints about him and the team in general, even though I haven't seen the team play - simply because I have seen HIM in action. If you genuinely don't know if the team is playing dirty, and you genuinely want to know, I suggest you video a game and attempt to watch it with an unbiased eye. Better yet, ask a friend who you trust to be honest with you for his/her opinion. You might be surprised by what you see and hear.
I have to address some of the actual content of your post. People on this chat board often say "we played" or "we beat." We all know and understand that the kids aren't posting and the parents don't play. But it's easier than saying "my daughter's team played" or my son's team beat" - kind of like how you will see DD or DS on here - it's shorthand.
I also take exception to your comment that most of the girls won't play soccer after high school. I don't know what the Eugene club's college prep/recruiting assistance is like. If your daughter is an 02 that means she's likely an 8th or 9th grader so you may not know either. But Eugene has a good reputation (for a small town) of getting girls to college including D1 schools (current players on Oregon and Oregon State rosters). There are many, many opportunities for girls to play beyond high school - D1, D2, D3, NAIA, and JuCo. While you may not have intended it, your derision of girls who have dreams and aspirations of playing at the next level was pretty lame. I have a girl playing in college, a girl verbally committed to play in college, and an 02 with dreams of her own. I would never, ever tell her she can't do it. She may not get to play at the level she wants to play at. She may "settle" for D2 or D3 instead of playing for UW, which is her current dream. But there's a place in college for girls who are willing to work hard and be great leaders and teammates. Your dismissive attitude towards young women's aspirations shows a lack of understanding of the purpose of club soccer and the high school club soccer process as a whole. Hopefully your coach and DOC can educate you on this. But if you truly think your kid has no chance to play at the next level, why are you doing club? It's expensive and requires a lot of travel and commitment from families. Why don't you just do rec - don't they have a rec program for high school players in Eugene?
Last, and I cannot emphasize this enough, I strongly encourage you to think more carefully before you post, and not to post from a place of anger. The smartest thing you could have done last night was write out your big long angry reply...and leave it alone and go to bed. Then get up this morning after a good night's sleep, read it again, and ask yourself if you really wanted those words, attached to YOUR name, attached to your DAUGHTER'S name, on the internet forever for all to see. You do understand that not only do we all know your name, but we now know who your daughter is, correct? And you do understand that you have no idea who is reading this - whether they are pedophiles, criminals, college coaches, her DOC, her teammates, her opponents - anyone can see this? You may feel like signing your name to your post was an act of courage. I see it as an act of recklessness. And your DOC, who is very highly respected in Oregon youth soccer, would likely tell you the same thing.
Last point - please. All caps is rude. It is widely understood to be shouting. If you meant to shout your entire post, that demonstrates how angry you were when you wrote it. If you did not mean to shout your entire post, that fundamental error makes people take your words, no matter how well intended, less seriously. Lose the all caps. And maybe consider stepping away from the computer as a whole for a while.
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