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    #16
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    If this is true I can believe it because the same thing happened to someone I know as well. High school coaches can be d!cks and sometime don't see beyond there own attempt at glory. Especially the ones who have been around forever and are searching for that one time they won a title again.

    I would say don't quit stick it out not much of the season left anyway. Through life you will always be faced with difficult choices, difficult people and difficult situations the sooner you learn how to deal with those situations the easier life will be for you as you grow up. Learn to look beyond the stupidity of others and do for yourself and those around you that matter 10 years from now you won't even be thinking about this and it will be just a distant memory. Keep your head up stay strong and check this off as a life lesson learned.

    You'll be just fine and probably better off for it in the long run.

    Keep doing what you love and what makes you happy.
    We're watching it play out on our team right now with a skilled, getting-recruited player (not top D1 but still enough to get interest). For whatever reason the coach just doesn't believe in him, like him, or whatever the reason is. Fairly known and respected coach too. To his credit the player is sticking it out and trying to make the best of a bad situation.

    Comment


      #17
      If I was your parent, I would tell you exactly what I told my kid:

      1.) In anything you do, don't ever let anyone stop you from doing what you want, even if the going gets rough and the outcome is not what you want it to be.

      2.) Ask the coach if you can meet privately and have a frank discussion with him/her. Be very polite and professional and do not get upset (you should go into this meeting hoping for a response that makes sense, but be prepared that the coach will not make sense based on what you know and see). Ask very candidly for the coach to tell you what you need to do to get more time and to get into a starting spot. You probably won't get a response that makes much sense, but implement it to the nth degree. Assume it is you, so change what you do and do exactly what the coach wants as best you possibly can.

      3.) You should make the practices your games, and you should work as hard as you possibly can to showcase yourself. You may think you are aggressive, but perhaps you really aren't. Turn up your intensity and aggressiveness several notches and go for balls you would not normally go for (it will make you better). Play at a much faster pace. It will also make you better win or lose. Take kids on that you normally would not and take shots that you normally would not. It sounds as if in, in practice scrimmages you would be on the scout team against the starters. You should be working hard to beat all of your opponents. Your mission should be to make yourself show well and that means that you have to beat your teammates and friends and work very hard to make them look bad. You should be winning every ball you can, beating people in 1v1's, and hammering shots. I am firmly convinced that beating 3 or 4 kids in soccer before you turn the ball over and hammering a ball 10 yards over the net from 40 is viewed far better by most soccer coaches than completing a sound 20-yard pass, or the front end of a 1-2 that you do not get back and letting your teammates take weak shots on net from inside 20. You should also try to outwork every kid on your team in every practice and try to finish first in all running and the best in all of the technical or tactical drills. Even if you don't get what you want on the field, you should be getting stronger for your club season.

      4.) Do something different than playing sound soccer; be selfish and screw the world if this is what has helped your teammates get into their top roles. What you have been doing has not worked for you so far, so take a risk and do not look back whether it was the right or wrong choice later. It appears that whatever has worked for your teammates, you should be trying to emulate. If they are ball hogs, stop playing sensibly and work to showcase yourself if you are capable. I am not sure anything will work if the coach has favorites and blinders on, but if you work harder, smarter, and differently than you currently are and you stick it out and truly give it your best then you will be better off. Even if you do not obtain what you want, you will rest well knowing you gave it your all and you will have a clear conscience that you did stick it out when the times got tough and no one dissuaded you and made you quit.

      5.) Along with #4, you have to stop listening to what the coaches say they want and notice what they actually reward on the field. It is common in my kids practices for their coaches to espouse possession soccer and using the width of the field ..... all day, every day (in practice) .... yet, I have noticed that in games the kids who dribble, dribble, dribble down the middle and constantly play into pressure into the middle of the field (rather than playing simply the way they faced or out to an open player out wide) do not get chastised or pulled from play. I would therefore conclude that these coaches do not actually value possession soccer or playing wide, but rather taking defenders on and being able to defeat 2-3 of them in 1v1s on every touch. Sit back and objectively look at your situation and the kids that you know are the coaches top players (in his mind, NOT YOURS). What do they do that you do not? What do they do that the coach constantly looks past or encourages? Mimic their style of play. It mayor may not work .... I have also found that lesser players in the coaches mind may get chastised for similar behavior, but you have to do what you have to do. If nothing else, you tried and you may hone skills that you need to work on more.

      It's high school soccer ..... make the best of it and never quit ..... the others always win. Make it your mission to beat everyone you can on the field and have pride every time you do. You should constantly be thinking ..... I just tooled on your starter and you still won't play me. Make it a game to keep your sanity and keep your faith. Even if your coach never sees these differences, you will and NO ONE MATTERS BESIDES YOU!!!! If you then can go on and do well in college, then it makes your coach look even more foolish.

      Don't lose any sleep over this. Make up your mind today to be a better player and get it done. Keep the faith and good luck ..... PLAY HARDER, SMARTER, AND DIFFERENTLY and then let the cards fall where they may. You won't have any regrets.

      Comment


        #18
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        If I was your parent, I would tell you exactly what I told my kid:

        1.) In anything you do, don't ever let anyone stop you from doing what you want, even if the going gets rough and the outcome is not what you want it to be.

        2.) Ask the coach if you can meet privately and have a frank discussion with him/her. Be very polite and professional and do not get upset (you should go into this meeting hoping for a response that makes sense, but be prepared that the coach will not make sense based on what you know and see). Ask very candidly for the coach to tell you what you need to do to get more time and to get into a starting spot. You probably won't get a response that makes much sense, but implement it to the nth degree. Assume it is you, so change what you do and do exactly what the coach wants as best you possibly can.

        3.) You should make the practices your games, and you should work as hard as you possibly can to showcase yourself. You may think you are aggressive, but perhaps you really aren't. Turn up your intensity and aggressiveness several notches and go for balls you would not normally go for (it will make you better). Play at a much faster pace. It will also make you better win or lose. Take kids on that you normally would not and take shots that you normally would not. It sounds as if in, in practice scrimmages you would be on the scout team against the starters. You should be working hard to beat all of your opponents. Your mission should be to make yourself show well and that means that you have to beat your teammates and friends and work very hard to make them look bad. You should be winning every ball you can, beating people in 1v1's, and hammering shots. I am firmly convinced that beating 3 or 4 kids in soccer before you turn the ball over and hammering a ball 10 yards over the net from 40 is viewed far better by most soccer coaches than completing a sound 20-yard pass, or the front end of a 1-2 that you do not get back and letting your teammates take weak shots on net from inside 20. You should also try to outwork every kid on your team in every practice and try to finish first in all running and the best in all of the technical or tactical drills. Even if you don't get what you want on the field, you should be getting stronger for your club season.

        4.) Do something different than playing sound soccer; be selfish and screw the world if this is what has helped your teammates get into their top roles. What you have been doing has not worked for you so far, so take a risk and do not look back whether it was the right or wrong choice later. It appears that whatever has worked for your teammates, you should be trying to emulate. If they are ball hogs, stop playing sensibly and work to showcase yourself if you are capable. I am not sure anything will work if the coach has favorites and blinders on, but if you work harder, smarter, and differently than you currently are and you stick it out and truly give it your best then you will be better off. Even if you do not obtain what you want, you will rest well knowing you gave it your all and you will have a clear conscience that you did stick it out when the times got tough and no one dissuaded you and made you quit.

        5.) Along with #4, you have to stop listening to what the coaches say they want and notice what they actually reward on the field. It is common in my kids practices for their coaches to espouse possession soccer and using the width of the field ..... all day, every day (in practice) .... yet, I have noticed that in games the kids who dribble, dribble, dribble down the middle and constantly play into pressure into the middle of the field (rather than playing simply the way they faced or out to an open player out wide) do not get chastised or pulled from play. I would therefore conclude that these coaches do not actually value possession soccer or playing wide, but rather taking defenders on and being able to defeat 2-3 of them in 1v1s on every touch. Sit back and objectively look at your situation and the kids that you know are the coaches top players (in his mind, NOT YOURS). What do they do that you do not? What do they do that the coach constantly looks past or encourages? Mimic their style of play. It mayor may not work .... I have also found that lesser players in the coaches mind may get chastised for similar behavior, but you have to do what you have to do. If nothing else, you tried and you may hone skills that you need to work on more.

        It's high school soccer ..... make the best of it and never quit ..... the others always win. Make it your mission to beat everyone you can on the field and have pride every time you do. You should constantly be thinking ..... I just tooled on your starter and you still won't play me. Make it a game to keep your sanity and keep your faith. Even if your coach never sees these differences, you will and NO ONE MATTERS BESIDES YOU!!!! If you then can go on and do well in college, then it makes your coach look even more foolish.

        Don't lose any sleep over this. Make up your mind today to be a better player and get it done. Keep the faith and good luck ..... PLAY HARDER, SMARTER, AND DIFFERENTLY and then let the cards fall where they may. You won't have any regrets.
        Well said.

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          If I was your parent, I would tell you exactly what I told my kid:

          1.) In anything you do, don't ever let anyone stop you from doing what you want, even if the going gets rough and the outcome is not what you want it to be.

          2.) Ask the coach if you can meet privately and have a frank discussion with him/her. Be very polite and professional and do not get upset (you should go into this meeting hoping for a response that makes sense, but be prepared that the coach will not make sense based on what you know and see). Ask very candidly for the coach to tell you what you need to do to get more time and to get into a starting spot. You probably won't get a response that makes much sense, but implement it to the nth degree. Assume it is you, so change what you do and do exactly what the coach wants as best you possibly can.

          3.) You should make the practices your games, and you should work as hard as you possibly can to showcase yourself. You may think you are aggressive, but perhaps you really aren't. Turn up your intensity and aggressiveness several notches and go for balls you would not normally go for (it will make you better). Play at a much faster pace. It will also make you better win or lose. Take kids on that you normally would not and take shots that you normally would not. It sounds as if in, in practice scrimmages you would be on the scout team against the starters. You should be working hard to beat all of your opponents. Your mission should be to make yourself show well and that means that you have to beat your teammates and friends and work very hard to make them look bad. You should be winning every ball you can, beating people in 1v1's, and hammering shots. I am firmly convinced that beating 3 or 4 kids in soccer before you turn the ball over and hammering a ball 10 yards over the net from 40 is viewed far better by most soccer coaches than completing a sound 20-yard pass, or the front end of a 1-2 that you do not get back and letting your teammates take weak shots on net from inside 20. You should also try to outwork every kid on your team in every practice and try to finish first in all running and the best in all of the technical or tactical drills. Even if you don't get what you want on the field, you should be getting stronger for your club season.

          4.) Do something different than playing sound soccer; be selfish and screw the world if this is what has helped your teammates get into their top roles. What you have been doing has not worked for you so far, so take a risk and do not look back whether it was the right or wrong choice later. It appears that whatever has worked for your teammates, you should be trying to emulate. If they are ball hogs, stop playing sensibly and work to showcase yourself if you are capable. I am not sure anything will work if the coach has favorites and blinders on, but if you work harder, smarter, and differently than you currently are and you stick it out and truly give it your best then you will be better off. Even if you do not obtain what you want, you will rest well knowing you gave it your all and you will have a clear conscience that you did stick it out when the times got tough and no one dissuaded you and made you quit.

          5.) Along with #4, you have to stop listening to what the coaches say they want and notice what they actually reward on the field. It is common in my kids practices for their coaches to espouse possession soccer and using the width of the field ..... all day, every day (in practice) .... yet, I have noticed that in games the kids who dribble, dribble, dribble down the middle and constantly play into pressure into the middle of the field (rather than playing simply the way they faced or out to an open player out wide) do not get chastised or pulled from play. I would therefore conclude that these coaches do not actually value possession soccer or playing wide, but rather taking defenders on and being able to defeat 2-3 of them in 1v1s on every touch. Sit back and objectively look at your situation and the kids that you know are the coaches top players (in his mind, NOT YOURS). What do they do that you do not? What do they do that the coach constantly looks past or encourages? Mimic their style of play. It mayor may not work .... I have also found that lesser players in the coaches mind may get chastised for similar behavior, but you have to do what you have to do. If nothing else, you tried and you may hone skills that you need to work on more.

          It's high school soccer ..... make the best of it and never quit ..... the others always win. Make it your mission to beat everyone you can on the field and have pride every time you do. You should constantly be thinking ..... I just tooled on your starter and you still won't play me. Make it a game to keep your sanity and keep your faith. Even if your coach never sees these differences, you will and NO ONE MATTERS BESIDES YOU!!!! If you then can go on and do well in college, then it makes your coach look even more foolish.

          Don't lose any sleep over this. Make up your mind today to be a better player and get it done. Keep the faith and good luck ..... PLAY HARDER, SMARTER, AND DIFFERENTLY and then let the cards fall where they may. You won't have any regrets.
          I fell asleep after the first point.....probably about the same point your kid tuned you out

          Comment


            #20
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            I fell asleep after the first point.....probably about the same point your kid tuned you out
            That's because you have the reading skills of a child. The adults read the whole thing and applauded.

            Comment


              #21
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              That's because you have the reading skills of a child. The adults read the whole thing and applauded.
              Well, I am guessing a kid asked the question, so if you are writing so other adults can give you kudos or to pontificate, then you win. Otherwise, you lose.

              Comment


                #22
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                We're watching it play out on our team right now with a skilled, getting-recruited player (not top D1 but still enough to get interest). For whatever reason the coach just doesn't believe in him, like him, or whatever the reason is. Fairly known and respected coach too. To his credit the player is sticking it out and trying to make the best of a bad situation.
                Or maybe the player just isn't that good? Or possibly is a better player in club with better players around him to play to his skill set? Or maybe the system that best fits the HS team doesn't fit the player? Tons of reasons that he's not playing that have nothing to do with the coach being biased, blind, vindictive, clueless...etc. The kid in this post should put their head down, work hard, root their teammates on, and have fun with their friends. She might not get in to the college she wants. Or get the job she wants. Or marry the guy she is in love with. It's how she reacts to those difficulties that will make her into the person she becomes. Life isn't always fair, but more often than not, people get what they earn.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Or maybe the player just isn't that good? Or possibly is a better player in club with better players around him to play to his skill set? Or maybe the system that best fits the HS team doesn't fit the player? Tons of reasons that he's not playing that have nothing to do with the coach being biased, blind, vindictive, clueless...etc. The kid in this post should put their head down, work hard, root their teammates on, and have fun with their friends. She might not get in to the college she wants. Or get the job she wants. Or marry the guy she is in love with. It's how she reacts to those difficulties that will make her into the person she becomes. Life isn't always fair, but more often than not, people get what they earn.
                  OP here - sorry not in this case. I've seen this kid in HS and club. Knows what he's doing and is good at it. We definitely have a few less skilled players on the field. The players and captains know it's going on. This player is doing just what you say - sticking it out, playing his hardest in practice and when he gets a few minutes on the field. Yes life isn't always fair and how you deal with is a test of your coping skills. But when something is obvious to all around you it creates a good deal of mistrust, fear and tension.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    OP here - sorry not in this case. I've seen this kid in HS and club. Knows what he's doing and is good at it. We definitely have a few less skilled players on the field. The players and captains know it's going on. This player is doing just what you say - sticking it out, playing his hardest in practice and when he gets a few minutes on the field. Yes life isn't always fair and how you deal with is a test of your coping skills. But when something is obvious to all around you it creates a good deal of mistrust, fear and tension.
                    Well then his parents should threaten to sue the school and the AD unless they fire the coach and hire a replacement of their choice who will guarantee little Johnny gets all the playing time he wants. Works like a charm

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      Well then his parents should threaten to sue the school and the AD unless they fire the coach and hire a replacement of their choice who will guarantee little Johnny gets all the playing time he wants. Works like a charm
                      Aka the Ilton approach

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Well then his parents should threaten to sue the school and the AD unless they fire the coach and hire a replacement of their choice who will guarantee little Johnny gets all the playing time he wants. Works like a charm
                        That works if your kid doesn't quit the munute he or she doesn't get their way. But if its too late for that then claim it's a "safety" issue and take it to the board of ed.

                        Don't forget to continue to bash coach years afterwards too!

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          That works if your kid doesn't quit the munute he or she doesn't get their way. But if its too late for that then claim it's a "safety" issue and take it to the board of ed.

                          Don't forget to continue to bash coach years afterwards too!
                          can you imagine those poor Holy Cross coaches????

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            can you imagine those poor Holy Cross coaches????
                            College coaches are more protected - geography helps (probably not going to just stop by the office), assistant coaches to run blockage

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Or maybe the player just isn't that good? Or possibly is a better player in club with better players around him to play to his skill set? Or maybe the system that best fits the HS team doesn't fit the player? Tons of reasons that he's not playing that have nothing to do with the coach being biased, blind, vindictive, clueless...etc. The kid in this post should put their head down, work hard, root their teammates on, and have fun with their friends. She might not get in to the college she wants. Or get the job she wants. Or marry the guy she is in love with. It's how she reacts to those difficulties that will make her into the person she becomes. Life isn't always fair, but more often than not, people get what they earn.
                              It's HS soccer, bottom line is it should be fun. When you're an adult, yes you will HAVE to stick things out, even if they suck. The kid should stick it out this year, and next year focus on school work, maybe find another fall sport to play.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                To the OP:

                                I'm happy to see that some of our armchair Sherlock Holmes didn't try to find clues in your text that convince them you're not somehow telling the truth. Happens a lot here.

                                Here's something to remember: There's an old expression that says, "the best revenge is living well". It means, go out and kick some serious a55 and let them realize their mistake. Throw yourself into the game. Become the best and make the coaches darlings look stupid during practice because they can't do what you can do. Run hard. Play hard. Be intense in everything. People will see the coach's bias, and he won't be able to bench you because his favoritism would be obvious. Work on being the best, not just in sports but in school and your career and all of life's awards will follow (money, girls, toys, etc.). Trust me.

                                Comment

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