DOCs and Coaches think we're dumb

[Unregistered]

It is State Cup, we have 16 kids, but our coach is brining two girls up from the B to round out the roster for State Cup. Because it is State Cup and about results (coaches words). adding two kids who have not played with the team all year?

Like the OP said, it will be back to development talk after State Cup.

[Unregistered]

It is State Cup, we have 16 kids, but our coach is brining two girls up from the B to round out the roster for State Cup. Because it is State Cup and about results (coaches words). adding two kids who have not played with the team all year?

Like the OP said, it will be back to development talk after State Cup.

We pay these DOCs and coaches a lot of money to be role models and educators for our kids. Which ones are educated and have a character you want your kid to emulate? I can't think of many.

[Unregistered]

That is kind of sad. When our dd committed last year our family sent out an email to every rec, ODP, HS and club coach she ever had thanking them for all of their time and effort teaching our kid not only soccer but life lessons. All of them had different styles of coaching and some where definitely liked more than others by our kid but all had contributions to her success.

[Unregistered]

Yes, just hand over your $1500 dollars + and don't ask questions. Coaching soccer Gods will do everything right for your kid.

There is a balance. We shouldn't be just throwing money at a coach and hoping that they are doing everything fine. However, we also shouldn't be the parents who are micromanaging by scrutinizing every practice. Do you do that with your kids teacher? Do you go to class every day and watch what is going on?

I try to utilize the same approach with soccer as I do with school. I monitor weekly but don't react to specific issues (unless it is a really big deal). It's a curriculum and while I might not agree with certain lessons, the overall chapter and unit of learning is what is more important. Just like in school, there are opportunities for feedback and appropriate times to have a one with one with the educator. It's also important that homework be completed so that is my responsibility along with my kids. How many parents have cones, extra balls, adjility ladders, .... for their kid to work with on their own?

I don't contact the teacher the first time my kid gets a C on a test. Now if they get two or three in a row, I get involved. Same thing in soccer. If our team isn't performing great one weekend, no big deal. If my kid plays poorly a game or two, no big deal. But when it become a trend, then it's time to talk and see what we need to do together to improve things.

School is a good paradigm for parents to follow for sports. However, so many parents think they have to oversee the sports classroom every day there is practice and think they need to course correct if one day doesn't go well.

[Unregistered]

There is a balance. We shouldn't be just throwing money at a coach and hoping that they are doing everything fine. However, we also shouldn't be the parents who are micromanaging by scrutinizing every practice. Do you do that with your kids teacher? Do you go to class every day and watch what is going on?

I try to utilize the same approach with soccer as I do with school. I monitor weekly but don't react to specific issues (unless it is a really big deal). It's a curriculum and while I might not agree with certain lessons, the overall chapter and unit of learning is what is more important. Just like in school, there are opportunities for feedback and appropriate times to have a one with one with the educator. It's also important that homework be completed so that is my responsibility along with my kids. How many parents have cones, extra balls, adjility ladders, .... for their kid to work with on their own?

I don't contact the teacher the first time my kid gets a C on a test. Now if they get two or three in a row, I get involved. Same thing in soccer. If our team isn't performing great one weekend, no big deal. If my kid plays poorly a game or two, no big deal. But when it become a trend, then it's time to talk and see what we need to do together to improve things.

School is a good paradigm for parents to follow for sports. However, so many parents think they have to oversee the sports classroom every day there is practice and think they need to course correct if one day doesn't go well.

Yes, but the issue is clubs bring in poor coaching staff and charge thousands of dollars and when your child does not perform they blame it all on parent. Similar to bringing in a student teacher to teach AP classes and when student does not perform it's all the students fault. Staff never is to blame for failure.

[Unregistered]

There is a balance. We shouldn't be just throwing money at a coach and hoping that they are doing everything fine. However, we also shouldn't be the parents who are micromanaging by scrutinizing every practice. Do you do that with your kids teacher? Do you go to class every day and watch what is going on?

I try to utilize the same approach with soccer as I do with school. I monitor weekly but don't react to specific issues (unless it is a really big deal). It's a curriculum and while I might not agree with certain lessons, the overall chapter and unit of learning is what is more important. Just like in school, there are opportunities for feedback and appropriate times to have a one with one with the educator. It's also important that homework be completed so that is my responsibility along with my kids. How many parents have cones, extra balls, adjility ladders, .... for their kid to work with on their own?

I don't contact the teacher the first time my kid gets a C on a test. Now if they get two or three in a row, I get involved. Same thing in soccer. If our team isn't performing great one weekend, no big deal. If my kid plays poorly a game or two, no big deal. But when it become a trend, then it's time to talk and see what we need to do together to improve things.

School is a good paradigm for parents to follow for sports. However, so many parents think they have to oversee the sports classroom every day there is practice and think they need to course correct if one day doesn't go well.

Wrong. In private schools teachers are accountable. If parents have issues, there is a system in place where you can voice concerns with a measurable amount of confidence the issue will be addressed.

In club soccer, B teams typically subsidize the A teams. Even within the A teams, bottom half of roster will be treated differently than top half. Coaches want to win so their efforts are to push the best players to perform at their highest while other players sit on the bench. All these players pay the same but the level of coaching varies considerably.

Not to mention, there are paid coaches who should not be coaching because they are abusive and disrespectful towards their players yet DOCs rarely discipline them because they don't have to.

[Unregistered]

That is kind of sad. When our dd committed last year our family sent out an email to every rec, ODP, HS and club coach she ever had thanking them for all of their time and effort teaching our kid not only soccer but life lessons. All of them had different styles of coaching and some where definitely liked more than others by our kid but all had contributions to her success.

Maybe we've been lucky, but we've had great coaches. Smart hard working coaches that all seem to really care and go above and beyond expectations.

[Unregistered]

Maybe we've been lucky, but we've had great coaches. Smart hard working coaches that all seem to really care and go above and beyond expectations.

I am betting your kid is the top one on the team and if you asked some of those bench sitters they wouldn't agree

[Unregistered]

I am betting your kid is the top one on the team and if you asked some of those bench sitters they wouldn't agree

Top players ALWAYS get PREMIER treatment. Good for you if your kid is one of those. But let's not be naive to think everyone else gets the same type of attention and treatment. Every player's $2k is welcomed equally. However, not every $2k paid player is treated the same.

[Unregistered]

Yes, but the issue is clubs bring in poor coaching staff and charge thousands of dollars and when your child does not perform they blame it all on parent. Similar to bringing in a student teacher to teach AP classes and when student does not perform it's all the students fault. Staff never is to blame for failure.

I think the bigger problem is there are too many different definitions of what Failure is. If we are on the same team we may define failure differently. We as parents are protective and want the best for our child, but sometimes the best is to stumble or fail and figure out how to get back up.

The key is find a coach you trust, a club that seems well run, and then other then Safety or morality type issues get out of the coaches way, and sit on the sideline and cheer like heck for your player.

[Unregistered]

The key is find a coach you trust, a club that seems well run.....

Like a diamond in the rough.

[Unregistered]

Top players ALWAYS get PREMIER treatment. Good for you if your kid is one of those. But let's not be naive to think everyone else gets the same type of attention and treatment. Every player's $2k is welcomed equally. However, not every $2k paid player is treated the same.

Not every player who paid $2k treats the coach or the team the same either. Commitment to the team and commitment to improvement is usually less in those bottom level players. "Private trainers" probably have someone they would train on their own, for free, if they were asked; those are the kind of players whose $2k is greater than the $2k the others pay.

[Unregistered]

Not every player who paid $2k treats the coach or the team the same either. Commitment to the team and commitment to improvement is usually less in those bottom level players. "Private trainers" probably have someone they would train on their own, for free, if they were asked; those are the kind of players whose $2k is greater than the $2k the others pay.

Who are these private trainers who will train for free? That sounds like quite the deal.

[Unregistered]

Who are these private trainers who will train for free? That sounds like quite the deal.

Not putting words in the other posters mouth, but I believe there point was most trainers have experience with a player that is so motivated and focused and works so hard that they are enthusiastic about training them. It was not an advertisement for free trainers, it was saying often players get what they put into it.

The players (and parents) complaining about coaching might want to consider the effort they put in.

[Unregistered]

Wrong. In private schools teachers are accountable. If parents have issues, there is a system in place where you can voice concerns with a measurable amount of confidence the issue will be addressed.

In club soccer, B teams typically subsidize the A teams. Even within the A teams, bottom half of roster will be treated differently than top half. Coaches want to win so their efforts are to push the best players to perform at their highest while other players sit on the bench. All these players pay the same but the level of coaching varies considerably.

Not to mention, there are paid coaches who should not be coaching because they are abusive and disrespectful towards their players yet DOCs rarely discipline them because they don't have to.

Spoken like a true overbearing parent who goes to every practice and stands there and scrutinizes everything. You also probably feel because you are paying for your kid's education, you have the right to go in weekly to "discuss" the curriculum and to scruitinze it. I've known a lot of teachers and there is a reason that all of the top teachers go to public schools. Not only is the pay better, but they don't have to deal with prima donna parents of private school kids who believe that they own the teachers and that the only kid that matters is their own.