Advice please

[Unregistered]

Hi TS,
I'm a high school player and I need some advice. I'm thinking about quitting and want to know if this is the best choice. I don't want anyone at my school to know so I'm posting here and hoping for serious advise. I play on a high level club team (one of the ones talked about here a lot) and am an upper classman. My high school team is very cliquey with four different cliques and I'm an outsider to all of them. =( Coach does nothing to stop the cliques. Other players complained about playing time and now they all play a lot now and my playing time is gone. I won't say what level I play at but I doubt there are any other players who play at my level that sit the bench all game. Some of my teammates play at strong clubs too but most play town premier or for premier clubs that don't even cut players. When I wasn't starting and younger players were, I talked to Coach about it and it's only gotten worse since then. I think it's very unfair but don't know why it's happening. It's like I made Coach mad but I wasn't rude or anything. Coach has never said why I lost my spot it just happened. Coach also has clear rules about attendance that we were told apply to everyone but they aren't applied to everyone. Coach said I was fine and then I was punished while other players weren't. I really feel like quitting and focusing on club soccer and school work and planning for college soccer instead of dealing with this garbage. I have good opportunities to play in college and if I quit I can focus on that now. I really don't think anything will improve with my coach. Coach tries to be one of the team instead of our coach. Should I quit? Should I talk to Coach again? Should I talk to someone else at my school about this? Will that do anything? I read a lot of posts here and all of the Wilton quitter posts. Please don't compare me to that. My situation is about fairness and just getting a fair shot to show what I can do. That's all I want. Has anyone here had something like this happen? Thx!

[Unregistered]

Hi TS,
I'm a high school player and I need some advice. I'm thinking about quitting and want to know if this is the best choice. I don't want anyone at my school to know so I'm posting here and hoping for serious advise. I play on a high level club team (one of the ones talked about here a lot) and am an upper classman. My high school team is very cliquey with four different cliques and I'm an outsider to all of them. =( Coach does nothing to stop the cliques. Other players complained about playing time and now they all play a lot now and my playing time is gone. I won't say what level I play at but I doubt there are any other players who play at my level that sit the bench all game. Some of my teammates play at strong clubs too but most play town premier or for premier clubs that don't even cut players. When I wasn't starting and younger players were, I talked to Coach about it and it's only gotten worse since then. I think it's very unfair but don't know why it's happening. It's like I made Coach mad but I wasn't rude or anything. Coach has never said why I lost my spot it just happened. Coach also has clear rules about attendance that we were told apply to everyone but they aren't applied to everyone. Coach said I was fine and then I was punished while other players weren't. I really feel like quitting and focusing on club soccer and school work and planning for college soccer instead of dealing with this garbage. I have good opportunities to play in college and if I quit I can focus on that now. I really don't think anything will improve with my coach. Coach tries to be one of the team instead of our coach. Should I quit? Should I talk to Coach again? Should I talk to someone else at my school about this? Will that do anything? I read a lot of posts here and all of the Wilton quitter posts. Please don't compare me to that. My situation is about fairness and just getting a fair shot to show what I can do. That's all I want. Has anyone here had something like this happen? Thx!

don't quit- that looks bad on you- if all you say is true your coach is a dick- my guess is you just aren't as good as the other players-thats ok
go to practice and work hard for you, so you get better for your club team- if you get put in play hard and when the seasons over its done
don't bitch ,whine or complain and for gods sake get off this site and never come back again
thats the best i can do

[Unregistered]

Hi TS,
I'm a high school player and I need some advice. I'm thinking about quitting and want to know if this is the best choice. I don't want anyone at my school to know so I'm posting here and hoping for serious advise. I play on a high level club team (one of the ones talked about here a lot) and am an upper classman. My high school team is very cliquey with four different cliques and I'm an outsider to all of them. =( Coach does nothing to stop the cliques. Other players complained about playing time and now they all play a lot now and my playing time is gone. I won't say what level I play at but I doubt there are any other players who play at my level that sit the bench all game. Some of my teammates play at strong clubs too but most play town premier or for premier clubs that don't even cut players. When I wasn't starting and younger players were, I talked to Coach about it and it's only gotten worse since then. I think it's very unfair but don't know why it's happening. It's like I made Coach mad but I wasn't rude or anything. Coach has never said why I lost my spot it just happened. Coach also has clear rules about attendance that we were told apply to everyone but they aren't applied to everyone. Coach said I was fine and then I was punished while other players weren't. I really feel like quitting and focusing on club soccer and school work and planning for college soccer instead of dealing with this garbage. I have good opportunities to play in college and if I quit I can focus on that now. I really don't think anything will improve with my coach. Coach tries to be one of the team instead of our coach. Should I quit? Should I talk to Coach again? Should I talk to someone else at my school about this? Will that do anything? I read a lot of posts here and all of the Wilton quitter posts. Please don't compare me to that. My situation is about fairness and just getting a fair shot to show what I can do. That's all I want. Has anyone here had something like this happen? Thx!

HS season is incredibly short. I'd gut it out for rhis year then next year do a different sport to stay in shape during HS season so you're ready for club (even if it's something on your own like running, or learning something new like tennis, etc). My son quit soccer for his junior year and was very happy with the decision. Same reason as you, was disillusioned with teammates (lot of recreational drug and alcohol use). Gotta do what works for you and your life. Plus it's only a sport, it's supposed to be fun and if it's not, that's a major problem.

[Unregistered]

I don't know you, and I have to assume you might be a troll, but if you are speaking the truth, you seriously need to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are college material. Not starting as an upperclassmen.... What makes you think you would be able to play in college? And now that you are throwing your cliquey teammates and unreasonable coach under the bus, I'm not quite sure you are who you think you are.

[Unregistered]

I don't know you, and I have to assume you might be a troll, but if you are speaking the truth, you seriously need to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are college material. Not starting as an upperclassmen.... What makes you think you would be able to play in college? And now that you are throwing your cliquey teammates and unreasonable coach under the bus, I'm not quite sure you are who you think you are.

Thanks. This was exactly the type of advice I was hoping for..... I suck. You nailed it. Maybe the question is why would a high school coach not play a player good enough for college? You assume I suck. Can't believe that there's more to it somehow? I have offers from several D2 schools so I guess I can't suck too bad. They came to showcases my club played in and then had me come to campus.

[Unregistered]

HS season is incredibly short. I'd gut it out for rhis year then next year do a different sport to stay in shape during HS season so you're ready for club (even if it's something on your own like running, or learning something new like tennis, etc). My son quit soccer for his junior year and was very happy with the decision. Same reason as you, was disillusioned with teammates (lot of recreational drug and alcohol use). Gotta do what works for you and your life. Plus it's only a sport, it's supposed to be fun and if it's not, that's a major problem.

I've been playing soccer since I was three. I don't want to play another sport at this point. I appreciate your advise. You're right it should be fun and it isn't. High school used to be more fun than club but not now.

[Unregistered]

I don't know you, and I have to assume you might be a troll, but if you are speaking the truth, you seriously need to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are college material. Not starting as an upperclassmen.... What makes you think you would be able to play in college? And now that you are throwing your cliquey teammates and unreasonable coach under the bus, I'm not quite sure you are who you think you are.

all the more reason not to quit- nobody cares about your HS days in college but a quitter? nobody likes that

[Unregistered]

I've been playing soccer since I was three. I don't want to play another sport at this point. I appreciate your advise. You're right it should be fun and it isn't. High school used to be more fun than club but not now.

If it's not fun then don't do it. Concentrate on your grades, rounding out your college application with non-sport activities, and club soccer. HS season is incredibly short.

[Unregistered]

Hi TS,
I'm a high school player and I need some advice. I'm thinking about quitting and want to know if this is the best choice. I don't want anyone at my school to know so I'm posting here and hoping for serious advise. I play on a high level club team (one of the ones talked about here a lot) and am an upper classman. My high school team is very cliquey with four different cliques and I'm an outsider to all of them. =( Coach does nothing to stop the cliques. Other players complained about playing time and now they all play a lot now and my playing time is gone. I won't say what level I play at but I doubt there are any other players who play at my level that sit the bench all game. Some of my teammates play at strong clubs too but most play town premier or for premier clubs that don't even cut players. When I wasn't starting and younger players were, I talked to Coach about it and it's only gotten worse since then. I think it's very unfair but don't know why it's happening. It's like I made Coach mad but I wasn't rude or anything. Coach has never said why I lost my spot it just happened. Coach also has clear rules about attendance that we were told apply to everyone but they aren't applied to everyone. Coach said I was fine and then I was punished while other players weren't. I really feel like quitting and focusing on club soccer and school work and planning for college soccer instead of dealing with this garbage. I have good opportunities to play in college and if I quit I can focus on that now. I really don't think anything will improve with my coach. Coach tries to be one of the team instead of our coach. Should I quit? Should I talk to Coach again? Should I talk to someone else at my school about this? Will that do anything? I read a lot of posts here and all of the Wilton quitter posts. Please don't compare me to that. My situation is about fairness and just getting a fair shot to show what I can do. That's all I want. Has anyone here had something like this happen? Thx!

Oftentimes there are a lot of agendas behind the scenes that you may know nothing about. Politics come into play a lot more than people realize. You could very well be better than some of the starters but if the coach doesn't like you for whatever reason, you are doomed. I wouldn't quit though because that will just make you look like a quitter loser. Go to practice, work hard, try to stay positive. If after all that you still aren't seeing playing time, speak to the coach and ask him directly what you need to do to earn your place on the field. Good luck kid

[Unregistered]

Thanks. This was exactly the type of advice I was hoping for..... I suck. You nailed it. Maybe the question is why would a high school coach not play a player good enough for college? You assume I suck. Can't believe that there's more to it somehow? I have offers from several D2 schools so I guess I can't suck too bad. They came to showcases my club played in and then had me come to campus.

Honestly, if you have several offers from D2 schools and
you are parked on the bench, either you are a flat out
liar, on the most incredible HS Soccer team in state history
or have the most myopic coach imaginable.

If a liar, your on your own.

If on the most amazing HS team in CT history, gut
it out and stop bitching.

If the coach, dial in the coach, your parents and the
AD for sit down to see *** is going on.

Stop whining and get the **** on the table.

If he is not going to play you, get reality in front
of you and choose your path.

[Unregistered]

I've been playing soccer since I was three. I don't want to play another sport at this point. I appreciate your advise. You're right it should be fun and it isn't. High school used to be more fun than club but not now.

Just focus on school. You spelled advice wrong twice.

[Unregistered]

Thanks. This was exactly the type of advice I was hoping for..... I suck. You nailed it. Maybe the question is why would a high school coach not play a player good enough for college? You assume I suck. Can't believe that there's more to it somehow? I have offers from several D2 schools so I guess I can't suck too bad. They came to showcases my club played in and then had me come to campus.

Yes, that is exactly the question. Why would he/she bench a college quality kid? So obviously one of you is way off. So what have you told these several D2 coaches when they ask you how HS is going, because that's how it works, every week they check in with you. Seriously, do you tell them you're a sub and that the coach is a fool? Even if the coach is a fool, that's a red flag.
FYI.. you don't "have several offers" for a D2 roster spot. Did you verbally commit to all of them? No. One of them? Then the others would have already evaporated. They don't let you collect offers like Pokémon cards. If they want you, they'll try to lock you up quick. Getting invited to their camp does not equal an offer.

[Unregistered]

HS season is incredibly short. I'd gut it out for rhis year then next year do a different sport to stay in shape during HS season so you're ready for club (even if it's something on your own like running, or learning something new like tennis, etc). My son quit soccer for his junior year and was very happy with the decision. Same reason as you, was disillusioned with teammates (lot of recreational drug and alcohol use). Gotta do what works for you and your life. Plus it's only a sport, it's supposed to be fun and if it's not, that's a major problem.

^^^^ this. The season is almost over. Stick it out, work hard, keep your head up high and don't give the coach the satisfaction of seeing you give up. Then decide what to do next year.

[Unregistered]

Hi TS,
I'm a high school player and I need some advice. I'm thinking about quitting and want to know if this is the best choice. I don't want anyone at my school to know so I'm posting here and hoping for serious advise. I play on a high level club team (one of the ones talked about here a lot) and am an upper classman. My high school team is very cliquey with four different cliques and I'm an outsider to all of them. =( Coach does nothing to stop the cliques. Other players complained about playing time and now they all play a lot now and my playing time is gone. I won't say what level I play at but I doubt there are any other players who play at my level that sit the bench all game. Some of my teammates play at strong clubs too but most play town premier or for premier clubs that don't even cut players. When I wasn't starting and younger players were, I talked to Coach about it and it's only gotten worse since then. I think it's very unfair but don't know why it's happening. It's like I made Coach mad but I wasn't rude or anything. Coach has never said why I lost my spot it just happened. Coach also has clear rules about attendance that we were told apply to everyone but they aren't applied to everyone. Coach said I was fine and then I was punished while other players weren't. I really feel like quitting and focusing on club soccer and school work and planning for college soccer instead of dealing with this garbage. I have good opportunities to play in college and if I quit I can focus on that now. I really don't think anything will improve with my coach. Coach tries to be one of the team instead of our coach. Should I quit? Should I talk to Coach again? Should I talk to someone else at my school about this? Will that do anything? I read a lot of posts here and all of the Wilton quitter posts. Please don't compare me to that. My situation is about fairness and just getting a fair shot to show what I can do. That's all I want. Has anyone here had something like this happen? Thx!

If this is true I can believe it because the same thing happened to someone I know as well. High school coaches can be d!cks and sometime don't see beyond there own attempt at glory. Especially the ones who have been around forever and are searching for that one time they won a title again.

I would say don't quit stick it out not much of the season left anyway. Through life you will always be faced with difficult choices, difficult people and difficult situations the sooner you learn how to deal with those situations the easier life will be for you as you grow up. Learn to look beyond the stupidity of others and do for yourself and those around you that matter 10 years from now you won't even be thinking about this and it will be just a distant memory. Keep your head up stay strong and check this off as a life lesson learned.

You'll be just fine and probably better off for it in the long run.

Keep doing what you love and what makes you happy.

[Unregistered]

If this is true I can believe it because the same thing happened to someone I know as well. High school coaches can be d!cks and sometime don't see beyond there own attempt at glory. Especially the ones who have been around forever and are searching for that one time they won a title again.

I would say don't quit stick it out not much of the season left anyway. Through life you will always be faced with difficult choices, difficult people and difficult situations the sooner you learn how to deal with those situations the easier life will be for you as you grow up. Learn to look beyond the stupidity of others and do for yourself and those around you that matter 10 years from now you won't even be thinking about this and it will be just a distant memory. Keep your head up stay strong and check this off as a life lesson learned.

You'll be just fine and probably better off for it in the long run.

Keep doing what you love and what makes you happy.

HS coaches play to win- if this kid is better than the next kid she plays ,even if the coach doesn't like her- like you said they are chasing the hardware for themselves