Playing time

[Unregistered]

My son made the elite team but getting limited time which he's not used to and really damaging his confidence and limited touches in game did I make a bad decision. He's not far behind in skills with the kids just lacks soccer smarts. Figured if he played with the best he'll get better, But how can he if he's not playing. Should I have put him on an average squad to dominate and build confidence.

[Unregistered]

depends on age, good luck

[Unregistered]

My son made the elite team but getting limited time which he's not used to and really damaging his confidence and limited touches in game did I make a bad decision. He's not far behind in skills with the kids just lacks soccer smarts. Figured if he played with the best he'll get better, But how can he if he's not playing. Should I have put him on an average squad to dominate and build confidence.

Sounds to me that he will not dominate anyone, get a grip buddy.

[Unregistered]

No. If you want him to develop leave him there and explain to him the area he needs to develop. Have him discuss the same with his coach. Dominating a bunch of rec players (or USA league-same difference) will not help him.

[Unregistered]

My son made the elite team but getting limited time which he's not used to and really damaging his confidence and limited touches in game did I make a bad decision. He's not far behind in skills with the kids just lacks soccer smarts. Figured if he played with the best he'll get better, But how can he if he's not playing. Should I have put him on an average squad to dominate and build confidence.

What team age group ? Similar thing happened to our boy. He was as good as the other kids and at times would even dominate in practices , but would sit most times at the games. His confidence took a hit so we decided to move to another club. He is still on a top team, plays every game and hardly gets subbed out. His confidence is growing again!

Hard choice especially if he's at a top club, but we have to do what’s best for the kids. Every circumstance is different though.

[Unregistered]

My son made the elite team but getting limited time which he's not used to and really damaging his confidence and limited touches in game did I make a bad decision. He's not far behind in skills with the kids just lacks soccer smarts. Figured if he played with the best he'll get better, But how can he if he's not playing. Should I have put him on an average squad to dominate and build confidence.

Well to me you have to ride this out this year get a personal trainer and work on what needs to be worked on. Yes I would move him next year to help keep him in the game but keep the personal trainer if it is working to boost his confidence. Soccer is 60% confidence maybe more without it kids tend to loose interst on the boy side it seems to be worse. Also if this club has a B or C team ask the coach to lower him and build that way at the end it is all training!

[Unregistered]

It's the age ole debate. Every team has a bench. If a coach picks 18, there likely was a clear 17 and 18.....just like the 1 and 2. If you anticipated he would be a starter or quick off the bench, you likely miscalculated. Time to level set with your son. Tough spot but if you and he are going to find it unacceptable (or constantly debate his team standing) you should move on quickly. Reality is both your confidences have taken a hit. Personally I'd think playing with players better each day is a great long term investment but if its going to be head down and woe is me.....graciously leave because ultimately you'll be asked to.

In the end you might even be right, your son may be a better player than he's being given credit for but likely that opinion is not widely held. Maybe find a place where he's more valued.

[Unregistered]

My son made the elite team but getting limited time which he's not used to and really damaging his confidence and limited touches in game did I make a bad decision. He's not far behind in skills with the kids just lacks soccer smarts. Figured if he played with the best he'll get better, But how can he if he's not playing. Should I have put him on an average squad to dominate and build confidence.

He is not getting much time in the games. He is getting the time training with better players and a better coach. He will learn from training with better players.

He has to work hard and improve and will get time. My son has done that on 3 top teams he played for start of the season limited time by the end of the season full time starter. To get there he trained out side of practice. You will find even on elite teams there are a number of "starters" that are lazy. If he works hard he can take one of their spots.

[Observer from West COast]

Big boy time

Without knowing the age of your player, but assuming it is in the 12 - 14 age range, I'd have a "grown up talk" with him:

"The coach selected you for the team, so he sees some skills in you that are pretty good or he wouldn't have selected you to be on the team. Your not getting as much playing time as you would like because the coach believes that some of the boys on the team are showing that they are better at some of the skills than you. I suggest that you talk with the coach - I can be with you or you can talk with him by yourself - and ask the coach what you can do to improve your game and earn more playing time."

"Based on what he says, we can look into getting extra training to work on those areas to improve your game and work yourself into more opportunities on the field. Understand, that improving your game isn't going to happen overnight, it might be a few months of training and hard work before the coach recognizes the improvements."

"It won't be easy to face the coach and have him tell you where you are weak and it won't be easy to commit to the extra training and work that will be required. But in the end, I think that you will really be happy with yourself. This would be the "grown up" thing to do."

And see what he says.

[Unregistered]

Without knowing the age of your player, but assuming it is in the 12 - 14 age range, I'd have a "grown up talk" with him:

"The coach selected you for the team, so he sees some skills in you that are pretty good or he wouldn't have selected you to be on the team. Your not getting as much playing time as you would like because the coach believes that some of the boys on the team are showing that they are better at some of the skills than you. I suggest that you talk with the coach - I can be with you or you can talk with him by yourself - and ask the coach what you can do to improve your game and earn more playing time."

"Based on what he says, we can look into getting extra training to work on those areas to improve your game and work yourself into more opportunities on the field. Understand, that improving your game isn't going to happen overnight, it might be a few months of training and hard work before the coach recognizes the improvements."

"It won't be easy to face the coach and have him tell you where you are weak and it won't be easy to commit to the extra training and work that will be required. But in the end, I think that you will really be happy with yourself. This would be the "grown up" thing to do."

And see what he says.

Agreed talk with the coach and see what he needs to improve on. This is the best way to handle the situation.

[Unregistered]

This happens more then you think ! Tell your son it s not a big deal if new players are add the mix of the team changes . It makes sense to add a outside trainer not affiliated with the club tell your coach he s doing this and ask what he should work on with this trainer. Next ask the coach to play with the A team but ask for game time with the B team if there is one if they are not on the same day. The more time getting more playing time and practice the better he will be and next year go someplace else if you feel you should. The bottom line keep him going tell him all of this is just training including games. Please note 6 v 6 and 8 v 8 is not soccer it is training D1 , D2, D3 it is just training. 11v11 is real soccer but still training for kids. So at 11 v 11 the chances is your kid if playing well will be playing understand !

[Unregistered]

Sitting on the bench is never a good thing. Kids play soccer because they want to PLAY. From what I have seen the single biggest reason why kids develop is because simply said they are having fun and are happy playing.

Ask your kid what he wants and trust that in most cases the kids know exactly what they want.

If it turns out that he wants to stay on the elite team see if he could potentially play/dual card on another team. If it is a big club maybe he could play up on a 2nd or 3rd team that could use another player where he could get additional field time. What our club does is have the state carded team but also a US Club team that pulls from different teams and ages (e.g. u12 and u13 playing u13) and they enter different events. The kids who play on those teams are usually the reserve players on top teams...and from what I have heard this seems to keep them pretty happy.

[Unregistered]

Agreed talk with the coach and see what he needs to improve on. This is the best way to handle the situation.

For most parents they'd rather debate than hear the truth. In this case, I guarantee you the father already knows why his son is last off the bench.....may not agree with it, but he knows.

[Unregistered]

For most parents they'd rather debate than hear the truth. In this case, I guarantee you the father already knows why his son is last off the bench.....may not agree with it, but he knows.

STFU you have no idea!!!!

[Unregistered]

My son made the elite team but getting limited time which he's not used to and really damaging his confidence and limited touches in game did I make a bad decision. He's not far behind in skills with the kids just lacks soccer smarts. Figured if he played with the best he'll get better, But how can he if he's not playing. Should I have put him on an average squad to dominate and build confidence.

leave him there .. he is not playing much but he is practicing with the best 3-4 times a week .. playing with best will only makes you better .. it's up to you to keep his confidence up