Cfc - let the kids play

[Unregistered]

You make some very good points, and it even goes much deeper. The vast majority of soccer parents today have little or absolutely no experience in developing a child athlete over the course of time. Therefore , they lack a foundation of knowledge and a basic understanding of the process .They are in reality an uneducated consumer.

What a pompous d|ck you are. It isn't rocket science. Players should be adding new technical skills and sport-specific IQ slowly year after year. Overall, you should consistently see better decision making and execution year after year. When this stops, get out of your current club. This happened for my oldest at about U14. We stayed for one additional year at that club hoping it would improve. The coach was irate when I questioned him about it prior to accepting but assured me the next year would be entirely different; it wasn't and we wasted another year and embedded my kid for another year with great friends (made it harder to separate from them and delayed the learning process for an additional yer). I still regret not moving my kid a year earlier to gain another year of solid training with better, smarter players and coach. My point is, even though many parents here did not play soccer, they get what should be happening over time. It gets confusing because coaches snowball or get irate every time you ask them because they are threatened that you are questioning their greatness. So glad I moved that kid and wish I had done so far earlier now in retrospect.

[Unregistered]

Which is why many parents rely heavily on team performance as a measuring stick for development. They can't tell good coaching from bad because they didn't play the game. they don't know that some coaches only play to win, not to develop.

However, development doesn't have to mean an absence of winning. You can win AND develop at the same time. FSA does neither (girls; boys is different).

They go hand in hand. When teams of players are developing and learn to play the game, they win more, not less over time. FSA girls start with huge advantages of size and speed over their in-state peers up until about U13. When that goes away and they still haven't learned to string together 6, 10, 12 passes to keep the ball, they can no longer compete. They chase the entire game and wear out 30 minutes into the first half where they typically park the bus, get outshot 12-1 (or 0) give up their first goal. 15 minutes into the 2nd half, they start to die again after a short reprieve because of the half .... then park the bus, get outshot again 15-0 and give up the 2nd and third goals before their opponent empties their bench, assured of another win.

[Unregistered]

How do you know that the coaches are not teaching the game? How much culpability do the players have once the whistle blows? Are they not being taught or do they simply revert to their comfort zones? Isn't this a progression over time?

What kids are you supposed to rely on? Isn't athleticism a strong attribute to any soccer player's bag of tools? Are you saying the athletic kids lack technical ability? Don't all the players on the roster have athletic ability? Is a very slow and small technical player, who can be easily caught and taken off the ball more desirable than a quicker and stronger player who has approximately the same level of skill? Or do you take the more athletic player, who might cost you some turnover, but who can escape more pressure and is harder to take off the ball?

Isn't it easy to sit on the sideline and offer all this sage wisdom? What's it like to have to make these decisions down in the trenches?

In some cases the frustration from parents is when the bigger stronger kid has a low soccer IQ compared to bench players but his big leg or ability to knock other players off the ball keeps him on the field for the whole game. Or he is targeted to play additional games and play up. They work harder to develop that kid even though to observers on the sidelines that know the game - know the kid sucks.

They, head down dribble, kick the ball to nowhere, many times to the other team. They don't pass when needed and mostly dribble through 1 or 2 defenders until the 3rd takes the ball from them. They can kick the ball hard though so people ooh and ah when they score a goal. Nevermind the other kid who gave them a great pass, with correct speed to the right spot so they can boot it in. That kid gets no credit, isn't asked to play in other games or specific attention. Only the big legs. The kids who transitional the ball through the middle of the field get no credit when they are doing all the high IQ soccer. Sometimes they pass the ball so quick people don't even realize the contribution they made to the play.

[Unregistered]

What a pompous d|ck you are. It isn't rocket science. Players should be adding new technical skills and sport-specific IQ slowly year after year. Overall, you should consistently see better decision making and execution year after year. When this stops, get out of your current club. This happened for my oldest at about U14. We stayed for one additional year at that club hoping it would improve. The coach was irate when I questioned him about it prior to accepting but assured me the next year would be entirely different; it wasn't and we wasted another year and embedded my kid for another year with great friends (made it harder to separate from them and delayed the learning process for an additional yer). I still regret not moving my kid a year earlier to gain another year of solid training with better, smarter players and coach. My point is, even though many parents here did not play soccer, they get what should be happening over time. It gets confusing because coaches snowball or get irate every time you ask them because they are threatened that you are questioning their greatness. So glad I moved that kid and wish I had done so far earlier now in retrospect.

Your first statement speaks volumes. There isn't anything pompous about saying the truth. If you are unable to accept that the foundation for making an accurate assessment of the process is rooted in the actual experience with many children, of varying levels of ability , over a long period of time , then you are unable to grasp the entire picture.

You're talking about your kid, your experience . I am speaking about large numbers of children over many years , do you understand the difference ?

" they get what should be happening over time "

How can they " get " it , without actually having seen it, and also not having seen children that don't develop , for reasons that may have nothing to do with the Coach ? It is a very basic concept. You actually offer a bot of evidence regarding the theory that current organized youth sports like soccer are actually there to alleviate parental anxiety. Now that you are glad, your problem is solved.

[Unregistered]

In some cases the frustration from parents is when the bigger stronger kid has a low soccer IQ compared to bench players but his big leg or ability to knock other players off the ball keeps him on the field for the whole game. Or he is targeted to play additional games and play up. They work harder to develop that kid even though to observers on the sidelines that know the game - know the kid sucks.

They, head down dribble, kick the ball to nowhere, many times to the other team. They don't pass when needed and mostly dribble through 1 or 2 defenders until the 3rd takes the ball from them. They can kick the ball hard though so people ooh and ah when they score a goal. Nevermind the other kid who gave them a great pass, with correct speed to the right spot so they can boot it in. That kid gets no credit, isn't asked to play in other games or specific attention. Only the big legs. The kids who transitional the ball through the middle of the field get no credit when they are doing all the high IQ soccer. Sometimes they pass the ball so quick people don't even realize the contribution they made to the play.

All coaches want the big strong kids to succeed, b/c if they could just get the soccer part down, then they'd be unstoppable. The problem is that some of those kids just can't get the soccer part down, no matter how many opportunities they are given. Coaches will always bias towards these players, though, b/c when all else breaks down, they know they kid can at least handle the physical side of the game.

[Unregistered]

All coaches want the big strong kids to succeed, b/c if they could just get the soccer part down, then they'd be unstoppable. The problem is that some of those kids just can't get the soccer part down, no matter how many opportunities they are given. Coaches will always bias towards these players, though, b/c when all else breaks down, they know they kid can at least handle the physical side of the game.

Exactly. And when the kids hit puberty and that kid no longer has the size/strength advantage he still sucks comparatively and the other kid left to play another sport.

[Unregistered]

All coaches want the big strong kids to succeed, b/c if they could just get the soccer part down, then they'd be unstoppable. The problem is that some of those kids just can't get the soccer part down, no matter how many opportunities they are given. Coaches will always bias towards these players, though, b/c when all else breaks down, they know they kid can at least handle the physical side of the game.

And truthfully coaches need the wins to keep their jobs, and clubs need the wins to keep fresh meat coming through the door for the grinder.

[Unregistered]

Your first statement speaks volumes. There isn't anything pompous about saying the truth. If you are unable to accept that the foundation for making an accurate assessment of the process is rooted in the actual experience with many children, of varying levels of ability , over a long period of time , then you are unable to grasp the entire picture.

You're talking about your kid, your experience . I am speaking about large numbers of children over many years , do you understand the difference ?

" they get what should be happening over time "

How can they " get " it , without actually having seen it, and also not having seen children that don't develop , for reasons that may have nothing to do with the Coach ? It is a very basic concept. You actually offer a bot of evidence regarding the theory that current organized youth sports like soccer are actually there to alleviate parental anxiety. Now that you are glad, your problem is solved.

You dont think the average parent takes stock often and thinks, wow, my kid has improved so much for this reason or that but still seems to lack this other thing .... or, wow, after 2 years, my kid has gone backwards, why am I wasting this money? He/she is learning nothing on this team, from this coach ..... I think you are wrong. They may feel pressure to keep little mary where she is, but I think most parents focus on their kid and whether they are moving forwards or backwards.

[Unregistered]

All coaches want the big strong kids to succeed, b/c if they could just get the soccer part down, then they'd be unstoppable. The problem is that some of those kids just can't get the soccer part down, no matter how many opportunities they are given. Coaches will always bias towards these players, though, b/c when all else breaks down, they know they kid can at least handle the physical side of the game.

yes, one of the worst things for soccer players is being big and fast at young ages. Those kids rarely realize how far behind everyone else they are until it is too late. And since most parents don't know much they don't realize it either. It is rare you get the big strong kid who is super technical, too. Its better to be just slightly undersized and rely on technique, skill and IQ and then hope to catch up enough physically later on.

[Unregistered]

You dont think the average parent takes stock often and thinks, wow, my kid has improved so much for this reason or that but still seems to lack this other thing .... or, wow, after 2 years, my kid has gone backwards, why am I wasting this money? He/she is learning nothing on this team, from this coach ..... I think you are wrong. They may feel pressure to keep little mary where she is, but I think most parents focus on their kid and whether they are moving forwards or backwards.

You are combining two aspects of development assessment , one internal regarding the process and one external regarding the parent.

I will not project what the " average " parent perceives from their observation of the progress or lack of progress of their child because I do not have any idea what their foundation is for their opinion. I also do not have any idea regarding the attributes and potential of the child based on observation and experience. What I do know is that generally speaking , my experience leads me to say that the majority of parents overrate their child's abilities , some more than others. The child is the internal portion of the development process.

The payment by the parent, and the expectations the addition of paying brings to the equation , is the external portion of the development and can have an affect on the perception of development. If you had the opinion that you were " wasting money " because of your perceptions, and the child was happy, content and occupied with the activity , is it still a waste of money ? " learning nothing" . Is there a test ? What is the intention of having the child involved, to get your money's worth ?

[Unregistered]

You are combining two aspects of development assessment , one internal regarding the process and one external regarding the parent.

I will not project what the " average " parent perceives from their observation of the progress or lack of progress of their child because I do not have any idea what their foundation is for their opinion. I also do not have any idea regarding the attributes and potential of the child based on observation and experience. What I do know is that generally speaking , my experience leads me to say that the majority of parents overrate their child's abilities , some more than others. The child is the internal portion of the development process.

The payment by the parent, and the expectations the addition of paying brings to the equation , is the external portion of the development and can have an affect on the perception of development. If you had the opinion that you were " wasting money " because of your perceptions, and the child was happy, content and occupied with the activity , is it still a waste of money ? " learning nothing" . Is there a test ? What is the intention of having the child involved, to get your money's worth ?

Ok but what if the kid wants more? For example the coach focuses on certain kids, plays them up, has them play additional games and additional training sessions. At the practice the coach routinely pits 1v1 or 3v3 activities where the winner moves to the right and the loser moves down. Your kid is always ending up on the right and beats the kids the coach is focused on.

In the game you see the kids the coach is focused on for additional training consistently head down dribble, lose the ball from dribbling too much, pass behind their target, can't receive the pass, etc. When they lose the ball they just stand there and don't transition into a defender to get it back.

The coach states things like "if you wait until you get the ball to decide where to pass it then it is too late" but then those are the kids they target for extra play time and playing up Because those are the strong kids that try to dribble through everyone. It works 1 out of 10 times and when it works everyone is ooing and aahing but what about the other 9 times they killed the attack by losing the ball?

Your kid is then saying, why is so-and-so playing up or the extra game when I beat them almost every time?

Easy answer is to change clubs. But you are at the best club and the training is excellent. The kid plays and is generally happy so you leave them there. But the politics and agendas need to stop or US Soccer will never get better.

[Unregistered]

Ok but what if the kid wants more? For example the coach focuses on certain kids, plays them up, has them play additional games and additional training sessions. At the practice the coach routinely pits 1v1 or 3v3 activities where the winner moves to the right and the loser moves down. Your kid is always ending up on the right and beats the kids the coach is focused on.

In the game you see the kids the coach is focused on for additional training consistently head down dribble, lose the ball from dribbling too much, pass behind their target, can't receive the pass, etc. When they lose the ball they just stand there and don't transition into a defender to get it back.

The coach states things like "if you wait until you get the ball to decide where to pass it then it is too late" but then those are the kids they target for extra play time and playing up Because those are the strong kids that try to dribble through everyone. It works 1 out of 10 times and when it works everyone is ooing and aahing but what about the other 9 times they killed the attack by losing the ball?

Your kid is then saying, why is so-and-so playing up or the extra game when I beat them almost every time?

Easy answer is to change clubs. But you are at the best club and the training is excellent. The kid plays and is generally happy so you leave them there. But the politics and agendas need to stop or US Soccer will never get better.

Well you pretty much summed up my kid's current experience.

[Unregistered]

Well you pretty much summed up my kid's current experience.

That is the experience of many .... and it is hard to tell your kid to torture and put the screws to the coach's pet, knowing it really isn't their fault. Just hard to imagine what the coach actually sees when every touch of his star pupil is a waste and kills the continuity of nearly every play.

[Unregistered]

Ok but what if the kid wants more? For example the coach focuses on certain kids, plays them up, has them play additional games and additional training sessions. At the practice the coach routinely pits 1v1 or 3v3 activities where the winner moves to the right and the loser moves down. Your kid is always ending up on the right and beats the kids the coach is focused on.

In the game you see the kids the coach is focused on for additional training consistently head down dribble, lose the ball from dribbling too much, pass behind their target, can't receive the pass, etc. When they lose the ball they just stand there and don't transition into a defender to get it back.

The coach states things like "if you wait until you get the ball to decide where to pass it then it is too late" but then those are the kids they target for extra play time and playing up Because those are the strong kids that try to dribble through everyone. It works 1 out of 10 times and when it works everyone is ooing and aahing but what about the other 9 times they killed the attack by losing the ball?

Your kid is then saying, why is so-and-so playing up or the extra game when I beat them almost every time?

Easy answer is to change clubs. But you are at the best club and the training is excellent. The kid plays and is generally happy so you leave them there. But the politics and agendas need to stop or US Soccer will never get better.

" It works 1 out of 10 times and when it works everyone is ooing and aahing but what about the other 9 times they killed the attack by losing the ball? "

Children in organized sports like soccer are conditioned to respond to the stimuli of parental and crowd approval because that's what they have been exposed to from an early age. Again, this is an external portion of the contributing factors of development.
That is a normal response. If you want to eliminate it gradually, you need to remove the stimuli. Or even better, don;t have it part of the process.


"Your kid is then saying, why is so-and-so playing up or the extra game when I beat them almost every time?"
And what is your answer.

"The kid plays and is generally happy so you leave them there. "
Shouldn't that be good enough ? Would it be better to take risks with the potential of the child being unhappy , with a decrease motivation ?

"But the politics and agendas need to stop or US Soccer will never get better. "

Politics and Agenda will always be a part of any Organization. It is just a matter of navigation and tolerance for the participants and their families. What would be " better" ?

[Unregistered]

" It works 1 out of 10 times and when it works everyone is ooing and aahing but what about the other 9 times they killed the attack by losing the ball? "

Children in organized sports like soccer are conditioned to respond to the stimuli of parental and crowd approval because that's what they have been exposed to from an early age. Again, this is an external portion of the contributing factors of development.
That is a normal response. If you want to eliminate it gradually, you need to remove the stimuli. Or even better, don;t have it part of the process.

I get it from the kids perspective but isn't that why the coach is there? Do sports teams coach players dependent on what they hear the fans yelling from the sidelines? If eliminating it gradually is rewarding that behavior than not sure I get it.


"Your kid is then saying, why is so-and-so playing up or the extra game when I beat them almost every time?"
And what is your answer.

I say to not be focused on the other kids you can only control what you do. Just give 100% effort in game and practice, listen to the coach and pay attention when they are talking. And make sure to have fun. Basically "try hard - have fun". That is my only rule.

"The kid plays and is generally happy so you leave them there. "
Shouldn't that be good enough ? Would it be better to take risks with the potential of the child being unhappy , with a decrease motivation ?

Exactly, not saying grass is greener anywhere else. I try to be impartial, I know it is hard when it comes to your own kid but really just don't understand the motivation from some of the coaches. I often wonder if it is just the squeaky parent that gets the kids wheels greased.

"But the politics and agendas need to stop or US Soccer will never get better. "

Politics and Agenda will always be a part of any Organization. It is just a matter of navigation and tolerance for the participants and their families. What would be " better"
?

The kids are often tested in practice 1v1 and 3v3, etc with the winner moving to the right and the loser moving down to the left. Use those results to determine how kids get placed.

When the coach tells the kids the importance of passing and knowing where the ball is going to go before you receive it, reward the kids that connect the field with great passes on target with the right speed and relegate those that still can't pass or receive a pass.

When the player is running all over the field and taking the ball from their own teammate, who is perceived as the weaker player correct this behavior even if they are the so called strongest player on the team.

When the player is head down dribbling and passes to the other team correct this behavior.

When the player is consistently passing the ball to their best friend who is covered and not passing to the open kid who they don't know as well correct this behavior.

When the coach says anyone goofing around will sit out but then they don't correct the behavior of their favorite players who are the ones goofing off the most, correct this behavior.

See above