Girls Soccer: Got crazy?

[Unregistered]

I have both boys and girls. Parents of girls are the craziest of all. Parents of both are crazier about their girls. It is an interesting phenomenon. Just like how refs in OYSA give out 10x (or more) as many red cards to boys than girls. Everyone is treating soccer playing boys and girls differently. Why? My son plays football. Dads of football boys might be as crazy as dads of futbol girls but are quite mellow about their futbol boys. Why?

[Unregistered]

I have both boys and girls. Parents of girls are the craziest of all. Parents of both are crazier about their girls. It is an interesting phenomenon. Just like how refs in OYSA give out 10x (or more) as many red cards to boys than girls. Everyone is treating soccer playing boys and girls differently. Why? My son plays football. Dads of football boys might be as crazy as dads of futbol girls but are quite mellow about their futbol boys. Why?

my son plays football and soccer and I am calm, super awesome, definitely not crazy. I will not allow my daughter to play soccer because I will then become a freaking lunatic.

[Unregistered]

I have both boys and girls. Parents of girls are the craziest of all. Parents of both are crazier about their girls. It is an interesting phenomenon. Just like how refs in OYSA give out 10x (or more) as many red cards to boys than girls. Everyone is treating soccer playing boys and girls differently. Why? My son plays football. Dads of football boys might be as crazy as dads of futbol girls but are quite mellow about their futbol boys. Why?

Thinking about all of this - some good ideas here - I also wonder if it's also because we're more apt to want to protect our "little girls", while boys are expected to be physically and emotionally tougher? I have caught myself getting more upset about refs missing calls (don't worry, I don't yell) at my D's games that I wouldn't give much through to for my sons. Which is crazy because she' way tougher than her brothers :)

[Unregistered]

what is the male equivalent of "DD"

(which I assume refers to "darling daughter"--in most contexts, referring to females by those initials may be seen as sexist and offensive :P)

Yet nobody talks about their DS...

[Unregistered]

I love my daughter more than my son.

[Unregistered]

I love my daughter more than my son.

I know

- Love, your DD

[Unregistered]

Agree with a lot of this. Do wonder if we need to add some coach/club behavior and structural issues to the discussion.

Coaches/clubs may contribute to the problem here precisely because parents are willing to invest real dollars in their daughters: there is a real fight (apparently as you get older) for those dollars. Throw in the fact that this country is addicted to closed leagues (ECNL, USDA, hell even MLS) where folks can't necessarily earn themselves a place once local franchises are assigned (or once they get it, there doesn't appear to be a mechanism for pushing clubs down or allowing new entrants), you have a constant supply of coaches who are dependent on girls numbers, but closed out of systems that attract those dollars; or vice versa, have the franchise and protect it at all cost.

Systemically, folks were more willing to defer to USDA/MLS programs out of the gate on the boys' side, because of apparent similarities with European system and they largely got out of pay to play; however, seeing increasing push back there as well.

I agree, Slow. Clubs and coaches are also culprits, as they form teams to pay their salaries and make their budgets. Our club has 3rd teams that aren't any better than rec, yet they pay the same as the first team. The club directors convince our players that if they aren't doing More, More, More then they will fall behind.

Then they charge us for More, More, More and take away our vacations, our kid's other activities, social lives. Then they 'train' them until they are injured or mentally spent. Then they complain the kids are soft!

Then they get in their new car and drive home.

We have too many clubs trying to be top dog. Let 2-3 ECNL/USDA level clubs cater to those top end players who want and can play at that level, but stop trying to convince the rest that they have 'A Shot.' Every club should send their best and most equipped to the ECNL and USDA when they are ready. But now those clubs are having PreEcnl teams for 10 year olds. The girls are 10. They shouldn't be driving to Hazelia to 'train.'

And a A Shot at what? College soccer? Where almost 1/3 of kids quit by their sophomore year? Selling a dream that turns into a nightmare so you can post photos of the signees? Convincing kids to pick an athletic path rather than an academic path so we can count how many we have 'at the next level.'

Clubs make it all sound like rainbows and unicorns pooping skittles, then the reality hits. There is no Joy in Joyville, Casey has struck out!

[Unregistered]

I agree, Slow. Clubs and coaches are also culprits, as they form teams to pay their salaries and make their budgets. Our club has 3rd teams that aren't any better than rec, yet they pay the same as the first team. The club directors convince our players that if they aren't doing More, More, More then they will fall behind.

Then they charge us for More, More, More and take away our vacations, our kid's other activities, social lives. Then they 'train' them until they are injured or mentally spent. Then they complain the kids are soft!

Then they get in their new car and drive home.

We have too many clubs trying to be top dog. Let 2-3 ECNL/USDA level clubs cater to those top end players who want and can play at that level, but stop trying to convince the rest that they have 'A Shot.' Every club should send their best and most equipped to the ECNL and USDA when they are ready. But now those clubs are having PreEcnl teams for 10 year olds. The girls are 10. They shouldn't be driving to Hazelia to 'train.'

And a A Shot at what? College soccer? Where almost 1/3 of kids quit by their sophomore year? Selling a dream that turns into a nightmare so you can post photos of the signees? Convincing kids to pick an athletic path rather than an academic path so we can count how many we have 'at the next level.'

Clubs make it all sound like rainbows and unicorns pooping skittles, then the reality hits. There is no Joy in Joyville, Casey has struck out!

This is a well written post, and couldn't agree more. Our family is dealing some of the very same issues.

It's funny how this thread, given its title, has become more constructive than any other thread on TS. :)

[Unregistered]

Special rights, reverse discrimination and political correctness is killing us.

this is the price we all pay for not paying women equally when they enter the real world.

http://themetapicture.com/equality-vs-justice/

fun comments at the bottom of that site too.

[Unregistered]

I agree, Slow. Clubs and coaches are also culprits, as they form teams to pay their salaries and make their budgets. Our club has 3rd teams that aren't any better than rec, yet they pay the same as the first team. The club directors convince our players that if they aren't doing More, More, More then they will fall behind.

Then they charge us for More, More, More and take away our vacations, our kid's other activities, social lives. Then they 'train' them until they are injured or mentally spent. Then they complain the kids are soft!

Then they get in their new car and drive home.

We have too many clubs trying to be top dog. Let 2-3 ECNL/USDA level clubs cater to those top end players who want and can play at that level, but stop trying to convince the rest that they have 'A Shot.' Every club should send their best and most equipped to the ECNL and USDA when they are ready. But now those clubs are having PreEcnl teams for 10 year olds. The girls are 10. They shouldn't be driving to Hazelia to 'train.'

And a A Shot at what? College soccer? Where almost 1/3 of kids quit by their sophomore year? Selling a dream that turns into a nightmare so you can post photos of the signees? Convincing kids to pick an athletic path rather than an academic path so we can count how many we have 'at the next level.'

Clubs make it all sound like rainbows and unicorns pooping skittles, then the reality hits. There is no Joy in Joyville, Casey has struck out!

1) they will fall behind
2) they are soft, they came to the club soft
3) make them walk, that would mean staying at a local club
4) if there were only 2-3 top clubs, the rest of y'all would name the #4-6 clubs PLATINUM clubs, or something that SOUNDS high quality to make yourselves feel better.
5) as a college dropout who went pro, it's the parent's job, and the school's job to keep the kids in school. universities only now, are realizing they should try to make sure their students graduate.

6) have your kids play pickup soccer, at almost all the pickup games in town, either the kids can play WITH the adults, or alongside the adults. have fun
7) your club must be really good at selling if you realize all that crap and still stay.

[Unregistered]

A dumb question

Which would be better:

1) One local team (per age group), in which all the top players are kept, and training is high-level--but which can't find a decent game against any other local team, and which other players never the the opportunity to train with or play against....

or

2) Several teams sharing the top players, but also having weaker players; such that the teams can have competitive games with each other without having to travel to Timbuktu?

[Unregistered]

1) they will fall behind
2) they are soft, they came to the club soft
3) make them walk, that would mean staying at a local club
4) if there were only 2-3 top clubs, the rest of y'all would name the #4-6 clubs PLATINUM clubs, or something that SOUNDS high quality to make yourselves feel better.
5) as a college dropout who went pro, it's the parent's job, and the school's job to keep the kids in school. universities only now, are realizing they should try to make sure their students graduate.

6) have your kids play pickup soccer, at almost all the pickup games in town, either the kids can play WITH the adults, or alongside the adults. have fun
7) your club must be really good at selling if you realize all that crap and still stay.

Outlying club where there aren't many options. Some rec but since everyone else stays & pays thru the nose & travels all over the state to play Div 1 and lower soccer with the club, rec pretty much sucks. Mine are A team starters but certainly not among the small handful that the rest of them are there basically to support. We stay at the club but choose to "fall behind" by not doing ODP, privates, etc and by continuing to play other sports & activities. We know more than a few families that spend crazy amounts of time & money and are soccer 24/7 thinking there is a big fat D1 scholarship out there because the kid went to an ODP tournament. I have an older one too so I've seen the crash & megadiappointment when there's no pot of gold at the end of their soccer rainbow. Make sure the sacrifices are worth it if HS soccer is the end of the journey. Focus on academics and have a fun childhood doing soccer & whatever else floats your boat.

[Unregistered]

Outlying club where there aren't many options. Some rec but since everyone else stays & pays thru the nose & travels all over the state to play Div 1 and lower soccer with the club, rec pretty much sucks. Mine are A team starters but certainly not among the small handful that the rest of them are there basically to support. We stay at the club but choose to "fall behind" by not doing ODP, privates, etc and by continuing to play other sports & activities. We know more than a few families that spend crazy amounts of time & money and are soccer 24/7 thinking there is a big fat D1 scholarship out there because the kid went to an ODP tournament. I have an older one too so I've seen the crash & megadiappointment when there's no pot of gold at the end of their soccer rainbow. Make sure the sacrifices are worth it if HS soccer is the end of the journey. Focus on academics and have a fun childhood doing soccer & whatever else floats your boat.

cool. sounds like you are grounded. nice job.

if you don't play post high school that's really a shame. that's why i advocate pick-up games. have fun. there are some playground legends out there, to push your development if you find the right game.

[Unregistered]

Which would be better:

1) One local team (per age group), in which all the top players are kept, and training is high-level--but which can't find a decent game against any other local team, and which other players never the the opportunity to train with or play against....

or

2) Several teams sharing the top players, but also having weaker players; such that the teams can have competitive games with each other without having to travel to Timbuktu?

this is a question as old as the game itself. i believe #2 on the basis that you never really learn something until you have to teach it. and as a star player on a crap team, if you don't make your teammates better, by teaching them, you're not the team player you wish you were; therefore, you won't (well shouldn't, there's politics involved,) make the team you wish you did.

[Unregistered]

I believe that most of the dads that are crazy about their girls soccer careers and are living their athletic lives through their daughters are the same dad that will not let their sons play soccer. They do not think soccer is manly enough for their boy and they are the crazy dads of the boys playing basketball and football.