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    #16
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    I thought he was a u10

    I am not the OP. I am just throwing out possible ages because I thought the response that the child should handle it was not practical if it was a U11 maybe even a U12

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      #17
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      he was punched in the back while playing game, fairly hard. total cheapshot. To be clear, this isn't done while going for ball or an elbow etc but simply a off the ball punch while playing game.

      I tried to handle it a couple different ways but doesn't seem to be working...


      What say the board?
      At U-little, I'd tell my son to ignore it and continue playing hard. At U17 - which is what my son is now - I wouldn't say a thing about it, nor would he as it would be a moot point - he'd have already settled it on the field.

      If your child is a technically strong player, he or she better get used to more of this stuff. Players will try to take a stronger player our of his or her game with this kind of stuff. With my son, I've always told him to beat the team with his feet, not his mouth, shoulder or elbow. He doesn't always take my advice. In my son's case though, we've never really had to chat with him about these issues - besides being a pretty strong technical player, he has always (even from a very young age) been a very physical, even aggressive player.

      Don't be a helicopter parent. Your child is going to have to accept that as he/she gets older, the game will get nastier. Your child is going to have to adapt or stop playing.

      Comment


        #18
        so there is likely no easy answer for this:
        - if its a young age, you do in fact need to let them know that such things happen and at young age let your coach know if it happens on the field
        - at an older age, I agree that the player will either know to ignore it or to deal with it on the field that doesn't hurt his team
        - if its against a team you likely might not play again, not much to do. If its a team you play often and the player does it regularly, the coach can always mention to the referee before a game that "number so and so has been delivering a lot of punches away from the ball" or something like that

        but fundamentally I would coach my son to try and ignore it unless someone is gonna get hurt

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Would you look for the ref if I walk up behind you in the street and punched you in the back?
          No, i'd look for a cop from Ferguson.

          Comment


            #20
            Okay

            Where I left it with my kid is that talk to ref once, then if you get hit like this again, then this goes beyond game and handle it any way you see fit.

            I thought post about a parent saying that if you win too much, you should expect this?

            To this poster, this is club soccer.. not rec... we're not at school... If you are afraid to lose by too many goals or being humiliated, club soccer not for you or your kid.

            In regards to the hitting off ball, if it was my kid and I caught him doing this, I'd pull him from the game.

            Comment


              #21
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              Where I left it with my kid is that talk to ref once, then if you get hit like this again, then this goes beyond game and handle it any way you see fit.

              I thought post about a parent saying that if you win too much, you should expect this?

              To this poster, this is club soccer.. not rec... we're not at school... If you are afraid to lose by too many goals or being humiliated, club soccer not for you or your kid.

              In regards to the hitting off ball, if it was my kid and I caught him doing this, I'd pull him from the game.
              Is it really too much to ask you the age of the kid? This is coming off like one of those vague made-up stories with no real context at all provided.

              Comment


                #22
                What

                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Is it really too much to ask you the age of the kid? This is coming off like one of those vague made-up stories with no real context at all provided.
                Long ago in this thread I said kid in this discussion for arguments sake is 11-13 but whatever..

                Comment


                  #23
                  This is a conversation every dad needs to have with their player long long before any actual incident occurs. A player needs to have a personal code of conduct on the field which becomes part of his/her field persona. What do you do when someone talks trash to you? Complains to you? Calls you a b!tch? Gives you an elbow within a play? Gives you an elbow away from the play? Punches you or pulls your hair away from the play? The kid needs to already have a sense for how she will react to situation and not just rely on instinct.

                  For example, my kid says nothing to any player that talks to her. Nothing. Doesn't even acknowledge them.
                  Responds in kind with elbows, kicks and pushes within a play.
                  Absolutely ends any player that tries to take a shot at her away from the play.

                  The latter is outside of the game and the result is the same as it would be in a parking lot or an alley. It can result in ejection but usually the ejection of both players. Only one experience with that situation at a stupid indoor game. She immediately knew how to handle herself because she was mentally prepared. You see unprepared kids all the time - they are ripe targets.

                  Another interesting question along these lines is what you do with a player who abuses a teammate. The coach needs to give direction about the type of team he wants. A player shouldn't unilaterally decide to be a vigilante but should be willing to protect her teammates if that's the kind of squad the coach wants.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Long ago in this thread I said kid in this discussion for arguments sake is 11-13 but whatever..
                    Just read through again. Don't see any post about 11-13, and you had at least several posters guessing at ages, with repeated failures to clarify. And what in the heck does "for argument's sake" mean??? Makes the whole scenario sound fictitious right there. And what was the context? What was happenning in the game? Had your kid scored a hat trick and embarrassed the defender? Was the game a blowout? Has your team had previous dealings with the other team and the player? What were you really looking for in starting this thread?

                    Comment


                      #25
                      What

                      I had posted it, not sure why not there.

                      But I find your questions interesting about was game a blowout... did you kid score alot?

                      What I'm hearing is that if your kid plays hard and scores this could be construed as "embarrassing" a player and therefore a punch while kid isn't looking, is somehow justified?

                      If you are telling your kid to do this... please stop..

                      Any kids that can't deal with a lopsided score needs to move on from club soccer to rec or recess. Seriously. Speaking as someone who's seen his kid be on both sides of a lopsided score, grow up.

                      QUOTE=Unregistered;1350536]Just read through again. Don't see any post about 11-13, and you had at least several posters guessing at ages, with repeated failures to clarify. And what in the heck does "for argument's sake" mean??? Makes the whole scenario sound fictitious right there. And what was the context? What was happenning in the game? Had your kid scored a hat trick and embarrassed the defender? Was the game a blowout? Has your team had previous dealings with the other team and the player? What were you really looking for in starting this thread?[/QUOTE]

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        I had posted it, not sure why not there.

                        But I find your questions interesting about was game a blowout... did you kid score alot?

                        What I'm hearing is that if your kid plays hard and scores this could be construed as "embarrassing" a player and therefore a punch while kid isn't looking, is somehow justified?

                        If you are telling your kid to do this... please stop..

                        Any kids that can't deal with a lopsided score needs to move on from club soccer to rec or recess. Seriously. Speaking as someone who's seen his kid be on both sides of a lopsided score, grow up.

                        QUOTE=Unregistered;1350536]Just read through again. Don't see any post about 11-13, and you had at least several posters guessing at ages, with repeated failures to clarify. And what in the heck does "for argument's sake" mean??? Makes the whole scenario sound fictitious right there. And what was the context? What was happenning in the game? Had your kid scored a hat trick and embarrassed the defender? Was the game a blowout? Has your team had previous dealings with the other team and the player? What were you really looking for in starting this thread?
                        [/QUOTE]

                        LOL. You STILL haven't provided an age! How about a real one? You clearly seem to be troll. I don't have a kid that would have been playing against your kid, and I don't know about any recent games with blowout scores. Definitely was not endorsing any kind of behavior based on that, but was suggesting that you provide a few more details so posters know what they are really responding to. You've made responding far more difficult than it needs to be and the question is why. And do you really believe you posted something that is magically no longer there???

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          he was punched in the back while playing game, fairly hard. total cheapshot. To be clear, this isn't done while going for ball or an elbow etc but simply a off the ball punch while playing game.

                          I tried to handle it a couple different ways but doesn't seem to be working...


                          What say the board?
                          Unless the game is somehow still going on - this seems like a pointless discussion.

                          How did you try to handle it? Throw your chair on the field? Yell "c'mon ref!, somebody's gonna get hurt" a few times? Sucker punch a mom on the other team?

                          My kid got punched (actually it was a pretty slick "spinning back-fist") in a U11 game a few years ago. He has found a way to persevere without me "handling it" and isn't emotionally scarred or anything.

                          Let it go.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            he was punched in the back while playing game, fairly hard. total cheapshot. To be clear, this isn't done while going for ball or an elbow etc but simply a off the ball punch while playing game.

                            I tried to handle it a couple different ways but doesn't seem to be working...


                            What say the board?
                            What position does your son play?

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Unless the game is somehow still going on - this seems like a pointless discussion.

                              How did you try to handle it? Throw your chair on the field? Yell "c'mon ref!, somebody's gonna get hurt" a few times? Sucker punch a mom on the other team?

                              My kid got punched (actually it was a pretty slick "spinning back-fist") in a U11 game a few years ago. He has found a way to persevere without me "handling it" and isn't emotionally scarred or anything.

                              Let it go.
                              There is no "handing it" after the fact - that goes for the kid and the dad. The kid either knows what to do in the moment or he doesn't. Dad, you can help to have him ready for any conceivable scenario but that's it. Once the bell rings it's all up to the fighters.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                                What position does your son play?
                                You mean what position does his imaginary son play?

                                Comment

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