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    #16
    Some of these coaches must have the 'patience of job' in dealing with some players.

    We've never come across an outwardly arrogant coach, but I'm sure in behind closed doors a lot gets said. However, I wouldn't blame a few of them one bit if they have to deal with some parents.

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      #17
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      One of the biggest issues in youth sports is parents not fully understanding who their kids are and what they need to succeed. They have an image of who they WANT their kids to be, but have a tough time accepting who they really are. It gets better as their kids get older and with younger siblings, but some parents never get it. Those parents in the college cheating scandal are a great example - they wanted their kids to be top students when in fact they were just good students who would have been better served a little lower on the academic ladder.
      While I agree with this 100% and there annoying, delusional, and naive parents, there are also some really arrogant coaches who are a holes and think they know better than everyone else. I am not talking about tough coaches, strict coaches, or coaches that yell a lot. But actual a hole coaches that pit players against each other, create chaos on their teams, treat young kids like worthless commodities to be discarded like garbage, and act like used car salesmen when they need your kid and $ to fill a roster spot. And unapproachable to any parent no matter what the reason, even if it’s an innaucous question. I have never once spoken to a coach about playing time or to complain to them about anything, but the idea that any person who points out there are crap arrogant coaches out there, gets labeled as a crazy parent with a snowflake child is the problem right there. There are bad seeds on both sides and it is ridiculous not to at least acknowledge it You lose credibility, if you claim the problem is only on one side.

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        #18
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        My kid can go anywhere. She is that good. So this isn't about her or playing time or our experiences. But, I see where some kids are treated differently, irrespective of talent, most times because of the wallet. I don't support badgering a coach. I also don't support a coach that is unapproachable. It's all about the kids. If you are not in it for them, then you are in the wrong business. THEY are the product. Treat them kindly and remember they are kids. They don't process the same as adults. If you demoralize them, in particular in front of their peers, they may never get their confidence back. Presentation matters and be mindful that they may not excel under you, but you may give them something that they rely on later when they excel in something else or at another time.

        Be kind to the kids. That's all.
        Speaking of arrogant...

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          #19
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Sure, and who paved the way for those that could not get in on their own hard work, coaches. It's not just the parents that need to accept, but the coaches need to not distort either. But, soccer is a business. If the coaches don't "sell" they don't get customers.
          Agreed. Coaches who are diks usually don't last long, at least not coaching younger players Same with clubs that don't keep their customers happy or hire too many dik coaches.

          I also agree that coaches have to put up with a lot of parental insanity, lazy kids a whole lot of other challenges while not making much money (it's the club owners making the good money, definitely not the coaches).

          Comment


            #20
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            While I agree with this 100% and there annoying, delusional, and naive parents, there are also some really arrogant coaches who are a holes and think they know better than everyone else. I am not talking about tough coaches, strict coaches, or coaches that yell a lot. But actual a hole coaches that pit players against each other, create chaos on their teams, treat young kids like worthless commodities to be discarded like garbage, and act like used car salesmen when they need your kid and $ to fill a roster spot. And unapproachable to any parent no matter what the reason, even if it’s an innaucous question. I have never once spoken to a coach about playing time or to complain to them about anything, but the idea that any person who points out there are crap arrogant coaches out there, gets labeled as a crazy parent with a snowflake child is the problem right there. There are bad seeds on both sides and it is ridiculous not to at least acknowledge it You lose credibility, if you claim the problem is only on one side.
            We don’t claim to know better than “everyone else”, just you.

            Comment


              #21
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              While I agree with this 100% and there annoying, delusional, and naive parents, there are also some really arrogant coaches who are a holes and think they know better than everyone else. I am not talking about tough coaches, strict coaches, or coaches that yell a lot. But actual a hole coaches that pit players against each other, create chaos on their teams, treat young kids like worthless commodities to be discarded like garbage, and act like used car salesmen when they need your kid and $ to fill a roster spot. And unapproachable to any parent no matter what the reason, even if it’s an innaucous question. I have never once spoken to a coach about playing time or to complain to them about anything, but the idea that any person who points out there are crap arrogant coaches out there, gets labeled as a crazy parent with a snowflake child is the problem right there. There are bad seeds on both sides and it is ridiculous not to at least acknowledge it You lose credibility, if you claim the problem is only on one side.
              Sure it happens but it doesn't happen often. Clubs who operate like you describe or hire those coaches won't last. All you can do as a customer is speak up (clearly you are upset, so have you spoken with the club?). If the club then doesn't change how it operates then you can take your $ elsewhere.

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                #22
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Speaking of arrogant...
                It's called confidence. Different. Arrogant is negative; confidence is positive.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Sure it happens but it doesn't happen often. Clubs who operate like you describe or hire those coaches won't last. All you can do as a customer is speak up (clearly you are upset, so have you spoken with the club?). If the club then doesn't change how it operates then you can take your $ elsewhere.
                  Nope, I have been very lucky with my kids coaches over the years. They are great and have done great things to develop them. But I have seen others firsthand within our club that are not so great and like described above, and my kids will never play for those ones. I just get annoyed when the finger-pointing only ever goes one way from both sides. Coaches always blame the parents, and parents always blame the coaches. There enough blame to go around, and anyone who tries to minimize it on either side has an agenda.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Are you saying that club soccer is a business? Driven by the metrics of the bottom line? I thought they were here to develop soccer players on the "from each according to their ability, to each according to their need" model. Oh wait, that was Marx.

                    Yeah, some coaches suck, some parents suck more, and they each deserve the other. Like the dad of the guest player at your kid's tournament with the video camera. You know, the player who shoots it every time she's within zip code of goal? You can be damn sure dad's not trying to get footage of her making that third straight gut-busting run to the back post that opens up the field. He's not there to put up a hudl video of her making the right pass in the final third that gets side-footed in by the hustle player. He's not looking to put up a post of his daughter back-checking to help win back a ball. NO, he's there for the goals. And who put that girl on the field? The coach who has orders from above to win the f*cking tournament and raise the profile of the soccer corporation who pays his mortgage. Who sucks more in this dirty business of kid's soccer?

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Pretty interesting to see how many coaches are trolling this site!

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        While I agree with this 100% and there annoying, delusional, and naive parents, there are also some really arrogant coaches who are a holes and think they know better than everyone else. I am not talking about tough coaches, strict coaches, or coaches that yell a lot. But actual a hole coaches that pit players against each other, create chaos on their teams, treat young kids like worthless commodities to be discarded like garbage, and act like used car salesmen when they need your kid and $ to fill a roster spot. And unapproachable to any parent no matter what the reason, even if it’s an innaucous question. I have never once spoken to a coach about playing time or to complain to them about anything, but the idea that any person who points out there are crap arrogant coaches out there, gets labeled as a crazy parent with a snowflake child is the problem right there. There are bad seeds on both sides and it is ridiculous not to at least acknowledge it You lose credibility, if you claim the problem is only on one side.
                        Here's some advice for you, dad: if you want to look smart, don't use words that you can't spell. The rest of us laugh at you.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Here's some advice for you, dad: if you want to look smart, don't use words that you can't spell. The rest of us laugh at you.
                          Haha, example number one to prove you have lost an argument is to point out spelling errors.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Haha, example number one to prove you have lost an argument is to point out spelling errors.
                            Ha Ha, I wasn't in the argument. I actually agree with much of what the OP posits. Unfortunately, one of my pet peeves is horrific spelling. Lazy writing and autocorrects I can handle, but this one was too much I guess.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              I think the thing that ruffles most feathers is larger rosters and paying attention to 3 kids on those big rosters. Those kids get extra training sessions, extra games, extra chances, allowed to make infinite numbers of mistakes with no repercussions (while some kids make a single mistake and get chastised or pulled or lose PT) ..... and 3/4 of the time, those kids still do not end up panning out. Had you put the same effort into all 22 kids from Day 1, the kids that end up passing the stars were held back to a large degree. Train them all the same for the same money and give them all the same opportunities. The ones that work hardest and pick stuff up the easiest are the ones that will probably do the best in the long run .... not just the fastest or biggest 10 year olds!
                              I think a couple of changes to the current system could help with playing time.

                              #1. Stop posting scores and standings, especially for u-littles, and the reason is not to protect snowflakes. Keep score during a game. Kids need to learn to be competitive, how to play when they are down, how to not lose focus when they are up, etc, plus they'll keep score in their heads anyway. But why keep a record over the whole season? This only causes coaches and clubs to focus on winning, because they know when parents go shopping for their first club, or are looking to switch clubs, they go straight to the standings to see which clubs are ranked the highest their kid's age group. What parent of a strong player is going to sign their kid up for a team that is at the bottom of the standings. Their thinking: either the players are not very skilled, or the coach is not very good. When coaches are focused on wins to look good in the standings, you can bet the weaker players are going to see a lot less field time, which equates to less development. Stop posting scores and standings, some of this pressure to win will go away, and everyone will get better development.

                              Coaches could make recommendations for tournament brackets. They do a pretty good job with NEP league placements, so it would be similar. If necessary, tournament schedules could even have passwords for each age group, so parents can't use these for club shopping either. There are plenty of tournament options for competitive play for an end of the year celebration without the need for it to be based on league standings.

                              #2. Keep teams and rosters fluent. This is usually a tough one for parents, but it also helps when a player is misplaced on a team due to a stronger or weaker showing at a 2-day tryout, or has a period of tremendous growth, or no growth and the team passes them by. It's tough for a coach to put a player on the field when they continually disrupt the flow for the other players, as it hampers the development for the majority of the team. Instead of benching the player, just move them down to the appropriate level (even down an age group, if needed -DA allows this now, other leagues should, as well). A strong player from a lower level who may have put in a lot of extra work and has outgrown a team can move up a level (or age group). To keep parents from complaining when their kid is moved down, clubs would make sure it's spelled out clearly in the contract in bold print that in order for their child to develop properly, their team placement/level may change throughout the year. The club would have a discussion with the parent when a level change is necessary to be transparent and to explain the benefits of the move.

                              These two changes alone would solve a lot of the problems parents have with lack of playing time. Roster size is, of course, the next issue to tackle. Just stay away from any club with giant rosters, as there is no way every player will get adequate playing time to develop.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                                This is the parent not mentally tough enough for competitive sports. You can’t buy talent or athleticism. The sooner you learn that, the better off you will be.
                                Nope, you are dead wrong. When you go to tryouts and do just as well as the other kids (who you knew were on that team already) and the coach selects you for a team, it is some form of validation that your kid has something he/she is willing to work with. Then when the season starts and your kid is doing just as well as any other kid on the team but get stuck at outside back for half a game while all of the stars get to screw up at central midfield or forward with 80% PT per game, something is off. Listen, I said if you dont think my kid can do it as a u-little, then do not take her. If you do, I deserve something in return (fair treatment). Do a better job in tryouts if you arent getting it right, coach!

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