What is the real reason...

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Does anyone actually doubt that there are parents out there who do club soccer hard that have absolutely no expectations of their participation other than seeing the joy in their children's eyes? Sure there are. The question has always been how big a percentage of the families actually think this way.

I would imagine it's a fairly large percentage, actually. There are 63 (yes, 63!) boys teams in U12 NEP that are playing in levels below the 35 Premiership level teams. Save a handful of standout players, who happen to be on a lower level team due to various reasons, most of the parents of kids on these teams are not looking for college scholarships when they know there are 35 teams of kids above them in this league alone (what with the kids in top league brackets throughout the rest of the country competing for college spots, not to mention international players). As kids get older, I'm sure any parent of a kid who is below NPL level has realized that college soccer is not in the cards and are just happy watching their kids enjoy the sport.

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I can only speak to my experiences on the GIRLS side.

Its actually a great question and the vast majority cannot answer it honestly. They talk about the # of coaches on the sidelines, scholarships , who committed where.

VERY few talk about the love of the game, tactics or its nuances.

The scholarship /college placement becomes the end game that justfitifes the outrageous cost to most and failure in that goals leads to all sorts of recriminations.

The college end game is so powerful that it leads kids to commit to schools that they rationalize they like simply because the soccer coach offers them something. Look at how many transfer once reality sets in.

Is everyone like this? no. But i think the majority of parents in meet in the soccer world are. its a parent driven ego contest and College is the measuring stick.

the reality is, the majority of kids are of similar ability soccer wise and soccer clubs are in the business of telling you they can make the difference for a player.

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I would imagine it's a fairly large percentage, actually. There are 63 (yes, 63!) boys teams in U12 NEP that are playing in levels below the 35 Premiership level teams. Save a handful of standout players, who happen to be on a lower level team due to various reasons, most of the parents of kids on these teams are not looking for college scholarships when they know there are 35 teams of kids above them in this league alone (what with the kids in top league brackets throughout the rest of the country competing for college spots, not to mention international players). As kids get older, I'm sure any parent of a kid who is below NPL level has realized that college soccer is not in the cards and are just happy watching their kids enjoy the sport.

And kids at the level of college soccer also are playing because it is fun. In fact, what makes it fun is competing at the right level. Big skill mismatches are not fun for either side.

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I can only speak to my experiences on the GIRLS side.

Its actually a great question and the vast majority cannot answer it honestly. They talk about the # of coaches on the sidelines, scholarships , who committed where.

VERY few talk about the love of the game, tactics or its nuances.

This is interesting. My boys have been involved in club soccer for a while, but are still a few years away from the scholarship talk, so this may change with time. However, at this point, the sideline talk is all about tactics, nuances, and love of the game. I'm kind of wondering if there are a lot fewer parents of girls in higher level club soccer who have actually grew up playing the game, and are pushing them to keep playing because of the higher chance for college scholarships. Perhaps on the boys side, kids get involved, and stay involved more because their parents were players growing up and have passed along the love for the game and enjoy teaching it to their kids.

[Unregistered]

This is interesting. My boys have been involved in club soccer for a while, but are still a few years away from the scholarship talk, so this may change with time. However, at this point, the sideline talk is all about tactics, nuances, and love of the game. I'm kind of wondering if there are a lot fewer parents of girls in higher level club soccer who have actually grew up playing the game, and are pushing them to keep playing because of the higher chance for college scholarships. Perhaps on the boys side, kids get involved, and stay involved more because their parents were players growing up and have passed along the love for the game and enjoy teaching it to their kids.

Nope. Girls soccer is more competitive and advanced than boys soccer in this country. Move on.

[Unregistered]

This is interesting. My boys have been involved in club soccer for a while, but are still a few years away from the scholarship talk, so this may change with time. However, at this point, the sideline talk is all about tactics, nuances, and love of the game. I'm kind of wondering if there are a lot fewer parents of girls in higher level club soccer who have actually grew up playing the game, and are pushing them to keep playing because of the higher chance for college scholarships. Perhaps on the boys side, kids get involved, and stay involved more because their parents were players growing up and have passed along the love for the game and enjoy teaching it to their kids.

Our girls sideline is often more like what you describe so not every girl's sideline is talking college. We cover tactics, coaching, position and playing time issues, travel plans, school stuff - both sport and academic, supplementary program critiques, and how do we keep the keeper or keepers happy. Never politics!

[Unregistered]

I can't vouch for too much of what happens on our sidelines....I keep to myself mostly.

Before/after games we'll talk about the weather, football, whatever, but there's so little direct knowledge of the game out there I learned a few years ago to just stay away.

[Unregistered]

Our girls sideline is often more like what you describe so not every girl's sideline is talking college. We cover tactics, coaching, position and playing time issues, travel plans, school stuff - both sport and academic, supplementary program critiques, and how do we keep the keeper or keepers happy. Never politics!

Make sure the players don't hear you. Some of what I hear on the sidelines is inappropriate.

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Make sure the players don't hear you. Some of what I hear on the sidelines is inappropriate.

Barely speak to the players even to cheer. My players has requested a quiet sideline policy for me!

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Barely speak to the players even to cheer. My players has requested a quiet sideline policy for me!

That's the best policy. Nothing worse than parents who stand on the sidelines and talk crap about the players on their own team loud enough for the players to hear.

[Unregistered]

Our girls sideline is often more like what you describe so not every girl's sideline is talking college. We cover tactics, coaching, position and playing time issues, travel plans, school stuff - both sport and academic, supplementary program critiques, and how do we keep the keeper or keepers happy. Never politics!

You mean just playing time issues...
The rest is just made up to cover the above fact.

[Unregistered]

That's the best policy. Nothing worse than parents who stand on the sidelines and talk crap about the players on their own team loud enough for the players to hear.

I move down to the corners to avoid the bulk of the parents, especially during game time. It's fine to make idol chit chat now and then and I am exceedingly polite, but most of it I can't stand. It's far more enjoyable to get that noise out of my head and just enjoy the game on my own. I've had to have words with a few blowhard dads over the years who think they're coaches. I pay a coach to coach my kid, not some dad who played two years in college.

[Unregistered]

Nope. Girls soccer is more competitive and advanced than boys soccer in this country. Move on.

It really isnt. Its still mostly national recruiting unlike boys and the standards are lower with more scholarships available. I think on the boys side, you have to be better to even consider playing at a high level and you have to love it. On the girls side there are many going thru the motions.

[Unregistered]

You mean just playing time issues...
The rest is just made up to cover the above fact.

Big one. Even on GDA - if you take the player on the roster and take the money - put them out on the damn field. And mine gets plenty of time. Bench warning is crap and makes for bad team dynamics. Why are these players on the roster greedy club?

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The reason my child doesn't do travel soccer is the same reason people move on from jobs after a number of years... boredom. She is motivated to improve. When she became the best player in town she wanted to play club. When she became the best player on her club team she asked to play for a stronger team. We have no expectation of where she will end up post high school. But she has learned to set goals, work hard, achieve goals, set new goals, and manage set backs. The life skills she has learned are immeasurable. She is a better person for the skills playing club has taught her, and being the best in town would not have provided those lessons.

There is a danger in thinking if kids don't play DAP they should all just play town. There are NEP kids working hard every day for the chance at the next level. Some enjoy playing in an environment that pushes them to find their own personal best.