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what to do with the bully on the team
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Unregistered
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostDisagree. Bullies are a part of life. People need coping skills to combat it. Role play two or three confrontations with specific language your child can use so he or she is better prepared to withstand the bully.
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Unregistered
As a head coach myself, i would not tolerate this type of behavior especially from a team mate. Address the issue once and if it happens again the aggressor would be gone no matter how good he/she is.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostDisagree. Bullies are a part of life. People need coping skills to combat it. Role play two or three confrontations with specific language your child can use so he or she is better prepared to withstand the bully.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostI don't think there's one hard and fast rule. It's very dependent on the victim, the bully, ages etc. Yes kids need to stand up for themselves, it's an important life skill. Eleven is much tougher to do than 14+. But if the bully continues - as almost all will - then adult intervention is necessary. The elementary/middle school in our town is famous for not disciplining bullies as the parents of bullies threaten them with legal action. Then those parents are shocked!!! when their teenage ahole starts getting into trouble inside and outside of high school. And really that's a big part of the problem - the parents. Bullies usually have parents who are bullies and oftentimes have been bullied themselves. One of my kids was bullying a kid during elementary school and I shut that sh*t down immediately. Turned out he was getting bullied by someone else, so he was getting his frustration out on someone weaker than himself. When victims or bystanders think nothing will ever happen to bullies then they're less likely to say something.
Parents need to take accountability for what they show their children and be involved enough in their lives to know their behaviors to course correct.
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Unregistered
what to do with the bully on the team
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostSay it louder so they can hear you in the back!
Parents need to take accountability for what they show their children and be involved enough in their lives to know their behaviors to course correct.
I bullied a kid in 5th grade....he had enough...he beat the crap out of me....I never bullied anyone after that...I heard the same kid became a successful business man. Looking back, its the best think that happened to both of us.
I am totally for bullying...It gives a weaker kid the opportunity to say "Yes I Can" to stare Evil in the eye. Lets give all children the courage to say Yes I Can. "Win, Lose or Draw" you will gain the respect of the oppressor. He will not bother you anymore.
40 years later....I have 3 boys (two of them had standing orders to punch the bully square in the nose) they did just that. Same thing, bully never bothered them or anyone else after that. The school did nothing either because the kid had prior issues...and he was set in his place.
Lets stop P____SY fing our children and prepare them for manhood....Bullying never stops even in the boardroom...The sooner children know to stand up for themselves and others the better off they will be....We as parents will not be around forever, everyday is a blessing.
Remember Our Grandparents were awesome because our Great Grandparents made them that way.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostSay it louder so they can hear you in the back!
Parents need to take accountability for what they show their children and be involved enough in their lives to know their behaviors to course correct.
Parents take accountability? That's funny! Good luck with that! How it should be and what should be done is easier said then done. You're not going to tackle the world or even your local town. Teach your kid how to stick up for themselves and how to deal with a bully!
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostParents take accountability? That's funny! Good luck with that! How it should be and what should be done is easier said then done. You're not going to tackle the world or even your local town. Teach your kid how to stick up for themselves and how to deal with a bully!
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostI know this is like, ugh, but i have an 11 year old who joined a new team and trying to deal with a bully on the team. it is to the point they don't want to go to practice.... Talked to the coach to keep a look out about it, but nothing has changed because it is in my opinion the bully is a better player on the team.... I know in our day we would just punch the bully in the nose and call it a day. but nowadays things are so crappy correct... then you run the risk of ostracizing you kid more if you do something....tried the pep talk about it is not about friends.... hate bullies.....
Neither the parents nor the coach will handle this properly and even if they try your kid will then be ridiculed for complaining to the coach. As an added benefit a lot of the other kids who secretly don’t like the bully will gravitate to your kid because he/she did what they always wanted to.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostTeach YOUR kid not to be a bully. Problem solved.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostI bullied a kid in 5th grade....he had enough...he beat the crap out of me....I never bullied anyone after that...I heard the same kid became a successful business man. Looking back, its the best think that happened to both of us.
I am totally for bullying...It gives a weaker kid the opportunity to say "Yes I Can" to stare Evil in the eye. Lets give all children the courage to say Yes I Can. "Win, Lose or Draw" you will gain the respect of the oppressor. He will not bother you anymore.
40 years later....I have 3 boys (two of them had standing orders to punch the bully square in the nose) they did just that. Same thing, bully never bothered them or anyone else after that. The school did nothing either because the kid had prior issues...and he was set in his place.
Lets stop P____SY fing our children and prepare them for manhood....Bullying never stops even in the boardroom...The sooner children know to stand up for themselves and others the better off they will be....We as parents will not be around forever, everyday is a blessing.
Remember Our Grandparents were awesome because our Great Grandparents made them that way.
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Unregistered
what to do with the bully on the team
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostGreat for your kids. Hope that translates well into their future, however your home is not everyone's home structure nor are your children like anyone else's kid. To add to that, the kids nowadays are growing up in a time far more emotionally evolved than our upbringing. IMO, it is not for us to perpetuate the past because it "worked for us" and assume the same for our children or other children. You are involved enough with your kids to know there was something happening and you guided them your way. The take away for me is that you were involved. Too many parents have blinders or simply don't care enough to know when a child is going through something to give them any type of advice on how to handle. Parent accountability in this context is more of what we need.
Sounds like your parents turned you into a cry baby...If your kid gets bullied at school, don't worry my kids will stick up for yours.
"Strive to Be a warrior and a Scholar, Be forged in Fire and Tempered by Knowledge...if not, you will not have the courage to fight for your ideals, or lack ideals worth fighting for"
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostSounds like your parents turned you into a cry baby...If your kid gets bullied at school, don't worry my kids will stick up for yours.
"Strive to Be a warrior and a Scholar, Be forged in Fire and Tempered by Knowledge...if not, you will not have the courage to fight for your ideals, or lack ideals worth fighting for"
I can only imagine the retort, so I will just leave this here because I felt I wanted to add my opinion but I will not entertain dialogue with anonymous persons who online - assume brave personas and consider ignorance is bliss.
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Unregistered
It's a tough situation because you have to remember bullies are usually cowards themselves and sometimes "standing up" to the bully can backfire if they turn the tables and play victim. My kid played on a team with 3 sisters that bullied multiple teammates both emotionally and physically. They and their mother were super sneaky and super manipulative about it too. They'd torture other kids but the minute one of their victims so much as called them ugly or said they weren't good players(tame retaliation in comparison to what the triplets were dishing out), they would run crying (literally) to the coach and made it seem like the victim of their bullying was the real instigator. Plenty of people complained about them to the coach & DOC but they did nothing. My kid left the team, but we heard this BS went on for years and only ended once the team got a new coach who cut them.
Bottom line, the coach already made excuses for the Bully kid by saying she was "competitive", translation-they don't give a crap. Ask your kid what she wants to do, if she wants to find another team-do it (she'll have plenty of situations in life where she won't have that option and many opportunities to learn how to handle it). If she wants to stick it out-remind the coach and DOC that the bully kid is the aggressor and let them know that your kid is prepared to stick up for herself and if they get any complaints from the bully or her family, it's on them for not rectifying the situation.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostIt's a tough situation because you have to remember bullies are usually cowards themselves and sometimes "standing up" to the bully can backfire if they turn the tables and play victim. My kid played on a team with 3 sisters that bullied multiple teammates both emotionally and physically. They and their mother were super sneaky and super manipulative about it too. They'd torture other kids but the minute one of their victims so much as called them ugly or said they weren't good players(tame retaliation in comparison to what the triplets were dishing out), they would run crying (literally) to the coach and made it seem like the victim of their bullying was the real instigator. Plenty of people complained about them to the coach & DOC but they did nothing. My kid left the team, but we heard this BS went on for years and only ended once the team got a new coach who cut them.
Bottom line, the coach already made excuses for the Bully kid by saying she was "competitive", translation-they don't give a crap. Ask your kid what she wants to do, if she wants to find another team-do it (she'll have plenty of situations in life where she won't have that option and many opportunities to learn how to handle it). If she wants to stick it out-remind the coach and DOC that the bully kid is the aggressor and let them know that your kid is prepared to stick up for herself and if they get any complaints from the bully or her family, it's on them for not rectifying the situation.
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