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Is Social Media Making You Resentful of Others?

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    Is Social Media Making You Resentful of Others?

    From Changing The Game Project

    Do you turn get on Facebook, or Pinterest, or Instagram, and ever think to yourself “Everyone’s kid has a trophy, won their big game, and is having great success, but mine is not?” Does it drive you nuts when everyone else’s kids seem to be achieving something remarkable, or looking so happy, and you are stretched thin, stressed, or even burned out running from game to game?

    Isn’t it frustrating comparing how you feel on the inside, to how everyone else looks on the outside on social media?

    If so, it’s time to take a deep breath. I read this great article from Tim Elmore recently about the main cause of stress in our kids (unrealistic parental expectations), and it made me think of sports.This week I recorded a short video for you, where I discuss the dilemma of parenting young athletes in the age of social media, and give you a few tips on how to get more enjoyment, and less stress from sports. Wouldn’t it be nice if we did not feel the need to keep up with the Joneses, or worry that you are a bad parent because you have no pictures of 11 year old county champions to post this week. Enjoy.

    https://my.leadpages.net/leadbox/140...5426797420544/

    I wonder if this comes close to touching on why Oregon soccer parents are negative.

    #2
    Not in the least

    I don't let social media affect me or how I live my life, at all. Some folks get all caught up in "Why weren't we invited to so and so's Christmas party?" or "I saw junior's birthday party on Facebook and we weren't invited"----Folks that post all that crap on social media sites are looking for validation in their own lives. They are looking for something that says "Hey, look at us, we are worthy, we are doing something of value"----If you have get your own personal validation from others and acceptance from others, then you must have a pretty low self esteem or your life really must suck!!

    I will use my sister as an example. She is always putting stuff up on social media. At this restaurant or at that bar or at this new trendy swanky night club or at that resort. No one effing cares!! She is doing it to say "Hey, I do cool things, my life does mean something"----again, anyone with any sort of their own personal life going on isn't worried about what others are doing.

    If you get caught up with what your neighbors are doing or what their kids are doing or who bought a new car or who went on what trip then again, you must either have a really sucky life or your values are way out of whack.

    I tell my kids, constantly, DO NOT WORRY about what others think of you and DO NOT WORRY about what others are doing. Live your own life, do your own thing and do the best at what you are doing.

    Folks just get too caught up in all of the 'fluff' and don't worry about what is truly important: Family (spouse/kids/parents/grand parents), their own health, their own personal happiness.

    Stop worrying about everyone else and worry about what you can control in your own life!

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      I don't let social media affect me or how I live my life, at all. Some folks get all caught up in "Why weren't we invited to so and so's Christmas party?" or "I saw junior's birthday party on Facebook and we weren't invited"----Folks that post all that crap on social media sites are looking for validation in their own lives. They are looking for something that says "Hey, look at us, we are worthy, we are doing something of value"----If you have get your own personal validation from others and acceptance from others, then you must have a pretty low self esteem or your life really must suck!!

      I will use my sister as an example. She is always putting stuff up on social media. At this restaurant or at that bar or at this new trendy swanky night club or at that resort. No one effing cares!! She is doing it to say "Hey, I do cool things, my life does mean something"----again, anyone with any sort of their own personal life going on isn't worried about what others are doing.

      If you get caught up with what your neighbors are doing or what their kids are doing or who bought a new car or who went on what trip then again, you must either have a really sucky life or your values are way out of whack.

      I tell my kids, constantly, DO NOT WORRY about what others think of you and DO NOT WORRY about what others are doing. Live your own life, do your own thing and do the best at what you are doing.

      Folks just get too caught up in all of the 'fluff' and don't worry about what is truly important: Family (spouse/kids/parents/grand parents), their own health, their own personal happiness.

      Stop worrying about everyone else and worry about what you can control in your own life!
      Sorry, but it seems like you are doing exactly what you say you don't. You clearly have some real negative emotions about social media. So in your words " why do you care what others are doing?" It seems like you have swung way out to the other pole vs SM...isn't there maybe a little space in between?

      Comment


        #4
        So if we remove Facebook from the equation but use the same premise; people see the accomplishments of others and feel the need to measure their children against others. This is really prevalent in our soccer community where we have people needing to feel vindicated for their choices often by tearing down the accomplishments of others. We have this entire ECNL vs Thorns academy thing where individuals are literally insulting one another's children in the name of justifying their own choice.

        Honestly if you break it down why should anyone care that someone else is spending more money on something they don't agree with? Why does it matter? Why take it a step further and cut down the children who are participating?

        On the other side, why would any parent feel the need to cut down girl's that play in the OYSA or even Thorns leagues? If your child is not playing in that league then who are you to judge the level of competition?

        Hell, there are even people on here who will go as far as to cut down the college choices of children who have the opportunity to play. There is a part of me that thinks if these same people's children were made an offer from Arizona State or Oregon State that they would be on it in a heart beat. Since there kid isn't getting those offers they need to marginalize those who did.

        I find it sad and the only explanation that I can come up with is that some people are very jealous of the accomplishments of other people's kids. They are jealous for all the wrong reasons as they measure their own child's soccer success against these others and are somewhat bitter with the result. I find it sad that these same kids likely have their own jewel of talent, be it music, choir, art, personality, academics, beauty, kindness etc., but the parents are so obsessed with keeping up with measuring the soccer accomplishments of the entire community that they don't even notice. You can see this mentality in the words of posts riddled throughout all of the TS threads.

        I have to wonder if part of the problem is that we have available to us so much information which in the past would not have been as easy to obtain (internet). Because of that it gives the impression that others are gaining ground and we are not. To me this bog is a perfect example.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          So if we remove Facebook from the equation but use the same premise; people see the accomplishments of others and feel the need to measure their children against others. This is really prevalent in our soccer community where we have people needing to feel vindicated for their choices often by tearing down the accomplishments of others. We have this entire ECNL vs Thorns academy thing where individuals are literally insulting one another's children in the name of justifying their own choice.

          Honestly if you break it down why should anyone care that someone else is spending more money on something they don't agree with? Why does it matter? Why take it a step further and cut down the children who are participating?

          On the other side, why would any parent feel the need to cut down girl's that play in the OYSA or even Thorns leagues? If your child is not playing in that league then who are you to judge the level of competition?



          Hell, there are even people on here who will go as far as to cut down the college choices of children who have the opportunity to play. There is a part of me that thinks if these same people's children were made an offer from Arizona State or Oregon State that they would be on it in a heart beat. Since there kid isn't getting those offers they need to marginalize those who did.

          I find it sad and the only explanation that I can come up with is that some people are very jealous of the accomplishments of other people's kids. They are jealous for all the wrong reasons as they measure their own child's soccer success against these others and are somewhat bitter with the result. I find it sad that these same kids likely have their own jewel of talent, be it music, choir, art, personality, academics, beauty, kindness etc., but the parents are so obsessed with keeping up with measuring the soccer accomplishments of the entire community that they don't even notice. You can see this mentality in the words of posts riddled throughout all of the TS threads.

          I have to wonder if part of the problem is that we have available to us so much information which in the past would not have been as easy to obtain (internet). Because of that it gives the impression that others are gaining ground and we are not. To me this bog is a perfect example.
          Being critical and insulting the sheep is not very productive. They will still just blindly follow each other off the cliff.

          We have no sheep dogs in Oregon.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Being critical and insulting the sheep is not very productive. They will still just blindly follow each other off the cliff.

            We have no sheep dogs in Oregon.
            What compels you to use the word "sheep" as it seems somewhat insulting in and of itself? I am just curious from what stance that reply comes from?

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              What compels you to use the word "sheep" as it seems somewhat insulting in and of itself? I am just curious from what stance that reply comes from?
              It comes from the recollection of early sexual experiences from growing up on the farm.

              Comment


                #8
                Anthony Hopkins

                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                It comes from the recollection of early sexual experiences from growing up on the farm.
                For some reason, "Silence of the Lambs" just popped into my head. Where oh where is Clarice when I need her???

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  From Changing The Game Project

                  Do you turn get on Facebook, or Pinterest, or Instagram, and ever think to yourself “Everyone’s kid has a trophy, won their big game, and is having great success, but mine is not?” Does it drive you nuts when everyone else’s kids seem to be achieving something remarkable, or looking so happy, and you are stretched thin, stressed, or even burned out running from game to game?

                  Isn’t it frustrating comparing how you feel on the inside, to how everyone else looks on the outside on social media?

                  If so, it’s time to take a deep breath. I read this great article from Tim Elmore recently about the main cause of stress in our kids (unrealistic parental expectations), and it made me think of sports.This week I recorded a short video for you, where I discuss the dilemma of parenting young athletes in the age of social media, and give you a few tips on how to get more enjoyment, and less stress from sports. Wouldn’t it be nice if we did not feel the need to keep up with the Joneses, or worry that you are a bad parent because you have no pictures of 11 year old county champions to post this week. Enjoy.

                  https://my.leadpages.net/leadbox/140...5426797420544/

                  I wonder if this comes close to touching on why Oregon soccer parents are negative.
                  Um.... no. I'm a social media junkie, but I don't feel insecure. I revel in other accomplishments and it's great to the pictures, video, etc, as well as share in my what my family is up to.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    For some reason, "Silence of the Lambs" just popped into my head. Where oh where is Clarice when I need her???
                    Yes. Eastern Oregon, where men are men and the sheep run scared.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      Yes. Eastern Oregon, where men are men and the sheep run scared.
                      LOL.... Okay, I think I understand... like maybe but not really.

                      Comment

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