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  #1  
Old 08-19-2013
OB1 OB1 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 190
Default Looking in the Rear View Mirror

My children have all graduated college. They played town, club, HS and into college (D1 and D3). They played in town travel leagues, MAPLE/MASC, and various Regional Leagues. They travelled to many tournaments all over the US and abroad. They have too many trophies, medals and ribbons.

Looking back what do we think we should have done differently?
  • We would have gotten the children involved in club soccer several years earlier than they entered it.
  • We should have been more relaxed about the mania to attend every clinic, camp, showcase and tournament.
  • We should have taken more time away from soccer to spend more quiet family time together.
  • We would have never discussed games or practices on the ride home.
  • Listened more to the children and less to the other parents.
  • Made sure to the best of our ability that the children do not equate their self-worth with their soccer experience.
  • Made sure the children know that we love them and will always be available to them.

Was the journey worth it? For us it was a mixed bag. Mostly good. We learned from the experience of the oldest child and tried not to repeat the mistakes with the younger children.

Youth sport is a very tempting trap for parents. One needs to maintain perspective and such is very hard when so many hopes and dreams are placed on the children.
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  #2  
Old 08-19-2013
perspective perspective is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,667
Default

Nice post.

Some of the points you make are right on, but as I think about them they aren't easy either. For instance, I agree about relaxing more and not worrying so much about missing something. But in the moment it is tough because there are real consequences to missing a tournament or a key game. And it's not always punishment. Kids sometimes are so close that the kid who played 4 games in a tournament last weekend likely is going to be or at least appear to be more "in form" than the kid who was absent. The team then gets in a rhythm and your kid can spend almost a full fall or spring season trying to get back to where he or she was. Endorsing/encouraging the involvement and not putting too much pressure on one's kids has got to be one of the central dilemmas in parenting. Just very recently in this forum we've seen posters complaining about other kids (teammates) taking free time and not working hard enough, not proving how bad they really want it. That reminds me of one thing I hated about club soccer. Nobody but the coach (or my wife and I) should ever be yelling at my kid.
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  #3  
Old 10-05-2013
discodude discodude is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1
Default excellent post ! TY!

Excellent Post! TY!

Quote:
Originally Posted by OB1 View Post
My children have all graduated college. They played town, club, HS and into college (D1 and D3). They played in town travel leagues, MAPLE/MASC, and various Regional Leagues. They travelled to many tournaments all over the US and abroad. They have too many trophies, medals and ribbons.

Looking back what do we think we should have done differently?
  • We would have gotten the children involved in club soccer several years earlier than they entered it.
  • We should have been more relaxed about the mania to attend every clinic, camp, showcase and tournament.
  • We should have taken more time away from soccer to spend more quiet family time together.
  • We would have never discussed games or practices on the ride home.
  • Listened more to the children and less to the other parents.
  • Made sure to the best of our ability that the children do not equate their self-worth with their soccer experience.
  • Made sure the children know that we love them and will always be available to them.

Was the journey worth it? For us it was a mixed bag. Mostly good. We learned from the experience of the oldest child and tried not to repeat the mistakes with the younger children.

Youth sport is a very tempting trap for parents. One needs to maintain perspective and such is very hard when so many hopes and dreams are placed on the children.
Reply With Quote
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