Why your kid is not playing

[Unregistered]

Saw a great article on Boston.com . All I could think of was Some (not all) parents here on TS. Great read. Ask your self the same question and then read this article. Imagine if coaches could be honest?

http://www.boston.com/sports/blogs/o..._month_or.html

[Unregistered]

Great article. Spot on. I wish some parent's on my D's Middle School team could read it!

[Unregistered]

Read it the other day. Spot on.

It gave me a chuckle thinking about tryouts too...and how parents who think they know better, but aren't even there.

[Unregistered]

Agree with the article for the HS level but preferred the following article for those with younger kids.

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/201...qDO/story.html

[Unregistered]

Agree with the article for the HS level but preferred the following article for those with younger kids.

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/201...qDO/story.html

Pretty sure the first article posted was in response to this column.

[Unregistered]

Agree with the article for the HS level but preferred the following article for those with younger kids.

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/201...qDO/story.html

I wish there were guidelines that coaches could use because playing time IS different for each age group.

[Unregistered]

I wish there were guidelines that coaches could use because playing time IS different for each age group.

There is, it's called common sense. Whatever the circumstances, anyone using common sense should be able to know when it's about player development and competing and when it's about winning at the the cost of or in spite of development. At older ages in a purely competitive environment, you can and should approach the latter rather than the former. At younger ages, you shouldn't. There's no precise right or wrong way, no exact number, but I think common sense allows anyone to pass a smell test of common sense and measuring intentions and actions of the coach.

[Unregistered]

That’s all true but the system itself is the problem at younger ages. Look at the Valeo threads about 12 and 13 year olds and 11 and 12 last year. The points system is driving the insanity, clubs are a business and they want money. Top teams in the state and region draw in players and thus money. If your kid is a bubble player on that #1 in the state/region/national team expect reduced playing time in games where the almighty point is at stake. It is pretty apparent from watching these top teams that coaches think players that have been playing an entire game and are exhausted are better than the bottom third of the team. Whether or not that is true is open for debate but it doesn’t really matter as only the coach’s decision is relevant. Hopefully these coaches try to work it out during the tournament games against weaker teams or in season play.

[Unregistered]

Really wish some of you would just take your ball away and go some place else to play. Your rules take all the fun out of playing. Remember the jerky neighborhood kid who always had to set up the rules so he could win regardless of whether he was actually good enough to do it? This is the same issue.

The problem lies with the parents. If you put your child into a situation where winning is the goal, when they don't play it means they are not good enough to support that goal. Quite whining about something you caused. Take your kid off that team and either find a team where winning isn't the goal or where their talent does land them in the game. For god's sake quite trying to change every program so that it fits your specific needs.

[Unregistered]

There is, it's called common sense. Whatever the circumstances, anyone using common sense should be able to know when it's about player development and competing and when it's about winning at the the cost of or in spite of development. At older ages in a purely competitive environment, you can and should approach the latter rather than the former. At younger ages, you shouldn't. There's no precise right or wrong way, no exact number, but I think common sense allows anyone to pass a smell test of common sense and measuring intentions and actions of the coach.

Agree. I do think there is wide disparity of thought on when winning should matter. For some it is never. At the older ages many HS coaches will refuse to cut a Junior who shows up out of shape or has been beaten out by an underclassmen.

At the younger ages, if there are tryouts and cuts, one should expect the best should play more and that playing time is earned not given. Even on competitive club teams I have heard parents bemoan that someone should be playing more because "they have been on the team for 3 years". Never easy to realize that you might not be as good as you thought. The universal thing I have seen thought is that coaches are really bad about communicating expectations re: playing time. They avoid the conversation and it usually becomes an issue.

[Unregistered]

because the fruit does not fall far from the tree maybe !

[Unregistered]

Really wish some of you would just take your ball away and go some place else to play. Your rules take all the fun out of playing. Remember the jerky neighborhood kid who always had to set up the rules so he could win regardless of whether he was actually good enough to do it? This is the same issue.

The problem lies with the parents. If you put your child into a situation where winning is the goal, when they don't play it means they are not good enough to support that goal. Quite whining about something you caused. Take your kid off that team and either find a team where winning isn't the goal or where their talent does land them in the game. For god's sake quite trying to change every program so that it fits your specific needs.

The issue is real for 30 to 40 percent of the kids on your kids team. I am sure your kid is so awesome that they can play 11v11 with 6 kids. You show up at a tryout and get PLACED on a team. As far as I know you can't buy your way onto the top team. For God's sake tell the kids why they are not playing and earn your money not just hope some other kid comes along to replace him because you are #1 in the state.

[Unregistered]

Saw a great article on Boston.com . All I could think of was Some (not all) parents here on TS. Great read. Ask your self the same question and then read this article. Imagine if coaches could be honest?

http://www.boston.com/sports/blogs/o..._month_or.html

Decent article and I agree with most of it. I have had some tough talks with my older son who doesn't have the size or the drive to really compete at the high school level in division 1. It's difficult... However, I do want to bring up two points that the author mentioned.

1) "My son earned a starting spot senior year on his varsity football team. When it became evident he wasn't going to play much after the first few weeks of the season, he made the difficult decision to leave the team."

-- Ok, your son quit on his team. What does that teach the team/ your son?

2) "Their coach wasn't very good, and would be fired before my son graduated. This taught my son another important life-lesson: All your bosses aren't going to be great. Sometimes, leadership is going fail and take everyone down with it."

-- Typical parent who under the guise of this enlightened article, the message is loud and clear: The coach was awful. So, my son quit.

[Unregistered]

The issue is real for 30 to 40 percent of the kids on your kids team. I am sure your kid is so awesome that they can play 11v11 with 6 kids. You show up at a tryout and get PLACED on a team. As far as I know you can't buy your way onto the top team. For God's sake tell the kids why they are not playing and earn your money not just hope some other kid comes along to replace him because you are #1 in the state.

My kid didn't even have to try out. That being said I know several parents on our team that could care less if their child plays as long as they have the team's accomplishments on their soccer resume. To each his own.

[Unregistered]

Decent article and I agree with most of it. I have had some tough talks with my older son who doesn't have the size or the drive to really compete at the high school level in division 1. It's difficult... However, I do want to bring up two points that the author mentioned.

1) "My son earned a starting spot senior year on his varsity football team. When it became evident he wasn't going to play much after the first few weeks of the season, he made the difficult decision to leave the team."

-- Ok, your son quit on his team. What does that teach the team/ your son?

2) "Their coach wasn't very good, and would be fired before my son graduated. This taught my son another important life-lesson: All your bosses aren't going to be great. Sometimes, leadership is going fail and take everyone down with it."

-- Typical parent who under the guise of this enlightened article, the message is loud and clear: The coach was awful. So, my son quit.

Good points. From starter to quitter in a matter of weeks, and make sure that your kid knows that the idiot coach was incompetent and should be fired.

Maybe the author could have taught his son something about being loyal to the team, following through on a commitment (he couldn't have stuck out the last few weeks of the football season before turning his attention to his new objective? really?), and dealing with disappointment. There might have been an injury that opened up a new opportunity to be a big-time contributor to the team, but no, he had quit and put the picture of the coach up on his dartboard.