memorial day tournaments

[Unregistered]

First rule they should implement is easy. If a parent talks to a ref they are asked to leave and stay 200 yards away from the field. They could easily implement this (put it in to the tournament entry form for the team and the player signup form...and also the club soccer forms). If the parent doesn't abide then both teams forfeit. Zero tolerance.

Huh? Both teams forfeit?

So your kid's team is losing 7-0. You mouth off to the ref and refuse to leave so that BOTH teams forfeit? How is my 11 year old responsible for an opposing team's poorly behaved adult on the sideline?

[Unregistered]

Why penalize the parents that act normal? The refs just need to be quicker to throw out the offending parents.

You have a point but why aren't the normal parents saying anything to the crazys? Most parents probably just say that's crazy mom/dad on the team that's what they do.
Also parents/players feed off the coach once the coach stars cherping at the ref they think it's okay.
I get it the refs get paid and it's their job to make the calls. Unfortunately with soccer or other sports the rules can be grey for a ref. Some of the calls are quick gudgment calls for the most part if younger ref thinks about making a call the play continues and the ref usually just lets play go on.
Also can I point out what other sport/work can parents/adults yell at a young person and think it's okay? If a kid screws up an order at Wendy's would a adult go back and yell at the kid like they do to a ref.
If their kid was out there reffing and an adult started to yell at them I'm sure they wouldn't be to happy.

[Unregistered]

Huh? Both teams forfeit?

So your kid's team is losing 7-0. You mouth off to the ref and refuse to leave so that BOTH teams forfeit? How is my 11 year old responsible for an opposing team's poorly behaved adult on the sideline?

If you could determine which team the parent is yelling for then you could forfeit that team. It may be tough to determine. Zero tolerance will get other parents to step in so the 15 year old ref doesn't have to.

It's embarrassing if there is a parent yelling at an 11 year old soccer game. It's all crazy but something needs to be done.

[Unregistered]

You make some valid points.

One of the problems is that the Leagues and Administrators have allowed too much negative behavior by parents over the years. The proliferation of pay to play has added a sense of entitlement by parents.

My suggestion has always been to keep parents 50 yards away from the field. Let them sit in a tent to watch. It could be easily done with modern technology using cameras.

Coaches should remain seated, and should only be allowed to stand briefly at the side line.They should be sent off more often if they dissent, especially in games with young Referees.

Coaches should be able to walk around - just don't be a jerk. Parents should be able to sit on the sideline and cheer on their kids. The big problem (I say this as the parent of a referee) is that the "zero tolerance" rule of abusing officials is rarely enforced. Add to this that many refs are younger and the parents and coaches feel like it is okay to bully them and you have a recipe for disaster. Unfortunately this needs to be a much larger part of referee training every year and the leagues have to back them up when they start tossing people and ultimately stopping matches. My kid has no problem telling a coach or player or parent (through the coach) to be quiet but she's the exception it seems.

[Unregistered]

It is a crazy soccer parent thing, one of my sons plays baseball too and you seldom see the verbal vitriol and never the physical "chasing" there as I see when he plays soccer.

Have to disagree with you there. One of my kids plays baseball as his primary sport and that can get brutal as well!

One of the best pieces of advice that I have received and I TRY to implement (although can't say that I'm 100% compliant), is to try to make it through each game with the refs / umpires not knowing which team you are rooting for. Obviously, they may pick up on the good job Johnnie and figure out where your allegiance is, but you get the point.... you should be fairly invisible on the sidelines.

[Unregistered]

If you could determine which team the parent is yelling for then you could forfeit that team. It may be tough to determine. Zero tolerance will get other parents to step in so the 15 year old ref doesn't have to.

It's embarrassing if there is a parent yelling at an 11 year old soccer game. It's all crazy but something needs to be done.

And often times one (or more)crazy parents from one team get the other team's parents riled up.

Really it's up to refs to stop the games, tell the coaches why and then let the coach(es) deal with the parents. Coaches can threaten to pull the kid if need be. A ref holds no power over a parent, short of calling the cops if a parents starts a fight etc. Ultimately it's up to coaches and clubs to haul their parents into line. Once you've been with a club that has no tolerance for such behavior you get it.

[Unregistered]

I coached a U17 team at the Needham tournament and the refereeing was genuinely the highest standard I have seen in quite some time. Yes, they were being mentored/evaluated, and some were brought in from Canada, but it was refreshing to be able to compliment the referees and focus on the play! Props to Needham for getting these crews in!

[Unregistered]

Why penalize the parents that act normal? The refs just need to be quicker to throw out the offending parents.

Referees , and their training and growth should be entirely directed towards the game and should benefit from the endeavor.

Under no circumstances should children that are Referees be obligated to interact with parents, spectators, and indeed, involvement with the coaching staff should be minimal.

One of the reasons there is a shortage of Referees, and that the average Referee only lasts less than 5 years is because there isn't enough in it for them. Since the youth level has to rely on Youth Referees more and more, the environment should be favorable to them, the Youth Referee. Take the burden off of them for having to deal with the circumstances that are out of their control.

Like I said. Put the parents in a tent or a nearby building. Have the Coaches stay seated, and only come up to the field a limited number of times to add tactical information. Do the coaching in practice, not as a joystick during the match.
Not only will this make a better atmosphere for all involved , but it will increase the creativity and development of the players.

It is long overdue to move Youth Soccer away from the models that have existed for decades regarding parental involvement, interference and to some degree the same with Coaches. Concentrate on the sport, the child participants , and leave the drama elsewhere.

[Unregistered]

Put up signs at every field that say:

“The parent’s sideline is being video recorded at all times. Any inappropriate behavior will be posted to Youtube and shared on social media.”

Problem solved.

[Unregistered]

LOL Parents putting the blame on the kid referees.

Task a 15-year old kid making $40 to throw out Joey from Dooshbury. That will end well....

All these rules and plans and schemes being put in place just because parents can be dinks.

[Unregistered]

Put up signs at every field that say:

“The parent’s sideline is being video recorded at all times. Any inappropriate behavior will be posted to Youtube and shared on social media.”

Problem solved.

I contribute to a gofundme for these signs! LOL

[Unregistered]

The big problem (I say this as the parent of a referee) is that the "zero tolerance" rule of abusing officials is rarely enforced. Add to this that many refs are younger and the parents and coaches feel like it is okay to bully them and you have a recipe for disaster.

100% true!

[Unregistered]

My college aged ref can’t wait for a parent to lay a hand on him. It’s funny, he doesn’t hear much from the BMW driving Patagonia parents when he officiated a match.

[Unregistered]

Put up signs at every field that say:

“The parent’s sideline is being video recorded at all times. Any inappropriate behavior will be posted to Youtube and shared on social media.”

Problem solved.

Some of these crazy parents would probably be happy to be on YouTube. They purposely talk loud to get attention. They think they are funny when they really sound like idiots.

Referees, especially younger ones, can only do so much to maintain order. The coach and club should be addressing this with the parents and kids right up front before the first game. Tell parents their kid’s game participation is contingent on proper behavior by their parents and this nonsense will stop.

[Unregistered]

If you could determine which team the parent is yelling for then you could forfeit that team. It may be tough to determine. Zero tolerance will get other parents to step in so the 15 year old ref doesn't have to.

It's embarrassing if there is a parent yelling at an 11 year old soccer game. It's all crazy but something needs to be done.

Something needs to be done, definitely. But making both teams forfeit is absurd. It's very easy to determine which team the offender is from. A missed penalty in the box isn't going to upset the team defending.

Any league or tournament that makes both teams forfeit, as was suggested above, won't last long. The other team's parents don't get to decide my team's fate.

And while you might think it would encourage others to step in so the ref doesn't have to, that's not a great idea. That's only going to encourage parents for fighting among themselves.

I feel for the refs. I honestly do. I witnessed awful behavior from parents this weekend. But at $30 or more per hour, they should be able to have the guts to shut a fan up or eject them. 95% of the bad behavior continues because the ref allows it too.