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    Bully coaches

    Why do some coaches feel the need to berate players on the field while the game is going on? Seriously, what do they hope to gain out of it? Is it for their competitive juices? Is it to show who's boss? Do they think they're actually helping the player while they're getting yelled at? Not to mention the coaches favorite who never gets yelled at, right? I don't get it!

    #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    Why do some coaches feel the need to berate players on the field while the game is going on? Seriously, what do they hope to gain out of it? Is it for their competitive juices? Is it to show who's boss? Do they think they're actually helping the player while they're getting yelled at? Not to mention the coaches favorite who never gets yelled at, right? I don't get it!
    awhh, did little sunshine get her feelings hurt?

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      awhh, did little sunshine get her feelings hurt?
      YES! Coach told Sunshine to stop turning the ball over or he would pull her .... in front of 2 or 3 of her teammates! Chr|st, she's only 17!! How are they supposed to learn?!?!?!

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Why do some coaches feel the need to berate players on the field while the game is going on? Seriously, what do they hope to gain out of it? Is it for their competitive juices? Is it to show who's boss? Do they think they're actually helping the player while they're getting yelled at? Not to mention the coaches favorite who never gets yelled at, right? I don't get it!
        Just getting kids ready for the coaches of the D1 dreams...

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Why do some coaches feel the need to berate players on the field while the game is going on? Seriously, what do they hope to gain out of it? Is it for their competitive juices? Is it to show who's boss? Do they think they're actually helping the player while they're getting yelled at? Not to mention the coaches favorite who never gets yelled at, right? I don't get it!
          Mom, your girls is just not as good as you think she is. Get over it.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Why do some coaches feel the need to berate players on the field while the game is going on? Seriously, what do they hope to gain out of it? Is it for their competitive juices? Is it to show who's boss? Do they think they're actually helping the player while they're getting yelled at? Not to mention the coaches favorite who never gets yelled at, right? I don't get it!

            After those responses, now you know why coaches can be such asses. It is well in line with the parents of the other players who are equally so.
            Is this boys or girls and what age?
            Although the 5 morons who have already posted assume it is a girls team, bullying has a slightly higher occurrence on boys teams. Only it goes unnoticed because everything thinks that the boys are supposed to be tougher and the boys and/or their parents are embarrassed to recognized that their little boys 'just can't take it'.
            It is sad to see it on a girls team....but then one might call me sexist to say or suggest that girls shouldn't be treated the same.

            Perhaps as these 5 moronic parents suggest, your child is meeting expectations of the coach. It was the case with my child when the coach was being an ass. What was worse is that the rest of the team (well...not all) starts to follow the coaches lead and then your child has a miserable experience and gains nothing.

            Why does the coach do it? Massive insecurity. The kids who follow in line are simply raised by parents who are similar to the 5 morons who have already posted. What these parents don't realize....but soon will....is that there little cherubs will, someday, not be the best of the best of the best. I can only imagine their reactions when their kids aren't supported and treated like gold.

            What I don't like about the whole thing is that the club accepted your child and therefore have an obligation to train in a mature and supportive environment. As sappy and, for these 5 moronic parents who have posted, pathetic as this might sound to them, it is what you are paying for.

            What can you do? There are three options and only the two are viable. 1. Talk to the coach and/or DOC. Usually this gets you no where since it is probably the MO or the club. Such behavior starts at the top. 2. Leave the club. 3. Realizing that part of the problem might be a lack of effort from your child, tell your kid to go wild in practice and start playing harder and harder to the point that the other players start to complain "take it easy. Its only practice"....or.....'you are going to hurt one of us'. Not only will your child start to play quite a bit better, but he/she will get personal rewards from hammering the kids who were being asses (not unlike their parents) and the coach will recognize more value....not that this will change the coach at all, but at least your child might enjoy it more.

            I hate to say it, but bullies sometimes need a 'punch in the nose'.

            Comment


              #7
              Wow, that was so inspiring. I'm sure the op is better off for your advise.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Wow, that was so inspiring. I'm sure the op is better off for your advise.
                what a d!ck

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Why do some coaches feel the need to berate players on the field while the game is going on? Seriously, what do they hope to gain out of it? Is it for their competitive juices? Is it to show who's boss? Do they think they're actually helping the player while they're getting yelled at? Not to mention the coaches favorite who never gets yelled at, right? I don't get it!
                  What some view as berate, others view as instructional.

                  Are they getting yelled at, or to?

                  No two players are alike, and no two players make the same mistake in the same circumstance, so you cannot equate the two. Is one making the same mistake over and over?

                  No, I don't suspect you do get it. Because you, like all of us parents, have an inherent slant toward our own children. I try to stay middle of the road and think I do a better job than many, but still I give my kid more leeway when I see something than someone else. Why? Because I know my kid, and I know what they are thinking when something happens and I likely know what their intent was. So, a mistake made by them I chalk up to "Oh, I see what you were doing, nice idea". When another kid does something that doesn't work, I think "What the hell are they doing out there?" Because, well...I don't know what the hell they are doing out there.

                  So, you may see things as not equal because you love your child (presumably), so it's darn near impossible for them to be treated equally.

                  Hearing a coach yell to a player isn't necessarily a bad thing. What they are saying, how they are saying it, and when are all factors.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    The main problem with youth soccer is adults.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Watch out for the chopper blades.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Wow, that was so inspiring. I'm sure the op is better off for your advise.
                        Again, you are the personality that is part of the problem. I do wish that you and your child will never know the angst that the OP or others feel. While I don’t suggest kids be coddled, nor do I mind coaches being stern, but there is a difference between constructive and destructive coaching...and parenting. Although perceptions vary the negative end result can be the same.

                        I also don’t dismiss the role of the player and their level of maturity and insecurity in contributing to the issue. But, the good coach is able to be constructive. Unfortunately as youth soccer expands, and the variability of coaching widens the level of maturity also widens.

                        Children mature at different rates. Some are always insecure. However, parents can affect this greatly. Getting anxious about unmet expectations is a killer and will have an opposite effect. Being supportive and believing in your child is the best you can do. Fear of failure is a killer. Accepting that failure is part of the development is important.

                        If your solution is to remove the child from every environment that they ‘fail’ in will not help develop the psychological part. Although forcing them to tolerate a profoundly negative environment is depressing, a balance exists. Too many kids grow up not knowing how to deal with adversity.

                        In your current scenario, bringing the kid out to a field and just kicking around, allowing them to be creative without an over bearing coach berating him/her for mistakes provides a nice balance of environments, increases enjoyment time, allows unchecked and unhindered creativity, and a chance for the player to develop some skills and confidence. Your support of the kid whether the succeed or not will help them get back up and play the next moment.

                        .....but don’t dismiss the value of telling the player to simply go out and hammer during practices. They might feel quite a bit better. Playing with fear is paralyzing.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Again, you are the personality that is part of the problem. I do wish that you and your child will never know the angst that the OP or others feel. While I don’t suggest kids be coddled, nor do I mind coaches being stern, but there is a difference between constructive and destructive coaching...and parenting. Although perceptions vary the negative end result can be the same.

                          I also don’t dismiss the role of the player and their level of maturity and insecurity in contributing to the issue. But, the good coach is able to be constructive. Unfortunately as youth soccer expands, and the variability of coaching widens the level of maturity also widens.

                          Children mature at different rates. Some are always insecure. However, parents can affect this greatly. Getting anxious about unmet expectations is a killer and will have an opposite effect. Being supportive and believing in your child is the best you can do. Fear of failure is a killer. Accepting that failure is part of the development is important.

                          If your solution is to remove the child from every environment that they ‘fail’ in will not help develop the psychological part. Although forcing them to tolerate a profoundly negative environment is depressing, a balance exists. Too many kids grow up not knowing how to deal with adversity.

                          In your current scenario, bringing the kid out to a field and just kicking around, allowing them to be creative without an over bearing coach berating him/her for mistakes provides a nice balance of environments, increases enjoyment time, allows unchecked and unhindered creativity, and a chance for the player to develop some skills and confidence. Your support of the kid whether the succeed or not will help them get back up and play the next moment.

                          .....but don’t dismiss the value of telling the player to simply go out and hammer during practices. They might feel quite a bit better. Playing with fear is paralyzing.
                          Actually, YOU are the problem. The parent here presented a brief and one-sided view and you agreed their child is the victim of bullying and made the giant leap that the teammates are as well. That shows that you're just itching to blame teammates, coaches, other parents, whoever, as long as your kid doesn't have to accept responsibility for his or her own shortcomings.

                          Parents today are so afraid of holding their kids responsible. Why? A coach or teacher doesn't coddle and tell them how amazing they are and it's "bullying". A teammate gets sick of them making the same mistake over and over and tells them to get it together and it's "bullying". It's not.

                          Stop blowing sunshine up your kids ass. Tell them to work hard for their goals and stop blaming everyone. Or for goodness sake, homeschool your kid, and sign them up for rec soccer at the Y.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            What some view as berate, others view as instructional.

                            Are they getting yelled at, or to?

                            No two players are alike, and no two players make the same mistake in the same circumstance, so you cannot equate the two. Is one making the same mistake over and over?

                            No, I don't suspect you do get it. Because you, like all of us parents, have an inherent slant toward our own children. I try to stay middle of the road and think I do a better job than many, but still I give my kid more leeway when I see something than someone else. Why? Because I know my kid, and I know what they are thinking when something happens and I likely know what their intent was. So, a mistake made by them I chalk up to "Oh, I see what you were doing, nice idea". When another kid does something that doesn't work, I think "What the hell are they doing out there?" Because, well...I don't know what the hell they are doing out there.

                            So, you may see things as not equal because you love your child (presumably), so it's darn near impossible for them to be treated equally.

                            Hearing a coach yell to a player isn't necessarily a bad thing. What they are saying, how they are saying it, and when are all factors.
                            Great post. Often times under the yelling are important messages and players (and parents) don't always realize it. Kids have to learn how to sift through the noise to get to the lesson. True some coaches are just awful. But most times they really are trying to teach even if their methods are bad. A good coach can adjust their communication for what works with each player. Sports is one of the few places where yelling is still tolerated. Does your boss scream at people all day long? Most likely not. But yelling isn't necessarily bullying either. A boss that doesn't yell still might not be mean as heck. People have to figure out what they're willing to take and if what they're getting out of it is worth more than the negatives. What works for one kid won't be the same as another, but figuring that out is an important life lesson.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Again, you are the personality that is part of the problem. I do wish that you and your child will never know the angst that the OP or others feel. While I don’t suggest kids be coddled, nor do I mind coaches being stern, but there is a difference between constructive and destructive coaching...and parenting. Although perceptions vary the negative end result can be the same.

                              I also don’t dismiss the role of the player and their level of maturity and insecurity in contributing to the issue. But, the good coach is able to be constructive. Unfortunately as youth soccer expands, and the variability of coaching widens the level of maturity also widens.

                              Children mature at different rates. Some are always insecure. However, parents can affect this greatly. Getting anxious about unmet expectations is a killer and will have an opposite effect. Being supportive and believing in your child is the best you can do. Fear of failure is a killer. Accepting that failure is part of the development is important.

                              If your solution is to remove the child from every environment that they ‘fail’ in will not help develop the psychological part. Although forcing them to tolerate a profoundly negative environment is depressing, a balance exists. Too many kids grow up not knowing how to deal with adversity.

                              In your current scenario, bringing the kid out to a field and just kicking around, allowing them to be creative without an over bearing coach berating him/her for mistakes provides a nice balance of environments, increases enjoyment time, allows unchecked and unhindered creativity, and a chance for the player to develop some skills and confidence. Your support of the kid whether the succeed or not will help them get back up and play the next moment.

                              .....but don’t dismiss the value of telling the player to simply go out and hammer during practices. They might feel quite a bit better. Playing with fear is paralyzing.

                              My personality is just fine, thank you. I encourage my kids to work hard and have fun, not coddle them and spin everything to be the other persons fault.

                              Comment

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