Girls Development Academy in NJ

[Unregistered]

Total BS. I lived both. Too much misinformation to deal with lies. The only age group that has less travel requirements on ECNL side are non-playoff bound U14 teams.

I apologize for not listing the other 6 non-regional events (2 mandatory +1 merit) for older age groups. All of it is easily accessible on ECNL site. I doubt that the teams that are listed as attending those showcases - the team lists are available on the ECNL site will agree on your assessment of ‘regional’. Did they take time from school? Did they fly? Did they spend time with the team in a hotel?

So, local older teams travel to 2 showcases, PDA showcase, and if lucky to playoffs. Which is 3 remote and 1 regional. That’s the same travel requirement.

PDA tournament (for U13/14) is not an ECNL showcase and can’t be included in requirements. It’s like saying that going to Jeff Cup or PF showcase are part of the regional tournaments for GDA. All of these have local teams from across the leagues. I applaud those tournaments and showcases for inclusivity. Especially since PDA makes the tournament bigger (more venues) and includes more local teams (even if outside of ECNL bracket and on god forsaken fields).

ECNL events are also 3 day events with PDA over a holiday weekend. GDA is 4. Those extra days off of school tally up along with a few sick days and a few vaca days.

[Unregistered]

ECNL events are also 3 day events with PDA over a holiday weekend. GDA is 4. Those extra days off of school tally up along with a few sick days and a few vaca days.

I wouldn't be advocating too many games in a row as a selling point. These knee surgeries get expensive.

As for vaca days, make the sacrifice and use them for soccer and the rest during regular school vacations.

Not an issue.

[Unregistered]

I wouldn't be advocating too many games in a row as a selling point. These knee surgeries get expensive.

As for vaca days, make the sacrifice and use them for soccer and the rest during regular school vacations.

Not an issue.

One day of rest isn't going to make that big a difference. The $ sure adds up for the local hotels and car rental companies though. Sometimes vacation days can't be avoided because of other family members. Our school is a royal pain in the azz about missed school days and once you're in high school missing matters a great deal.

[Unregistered]

One day of rest isn't going to make that big a difference. The $ sure adds up for the local hotels and car rental companies though. Sometimes vacation days can't be avoided because of other family members. Our school is a royal pain in the azz about missed school days and once you're in high school missing matters a great deal.

One day of rest makes a huge difference

Ask the college coaches and doctors. It not only prevents injuries but also allows rest which leads to the player plsying a higher level of soccer.

Realize in the ecnl they play 2 games almost every weekend. Check out European clubs and see if they do that

Their is a reason behind it

[Unregistered]

One day of rest isn't going to make that big a difference. The $ sure adds up for the local hotels and car rental companies though. Sometimes vacation days can't be avoided because of other family members. Our school is a royal pain in the azz about missed school days and once you're in high school missing matters a great deal.

Bottom line if you want to make it work, you will. If you don't want to make it work, you'll find a way not to.

Our school allows for 6 days before a discussion is needed. We won't hit that mark, but it will be close. And, kids' a good student so teachers are not concerned, based on communication I had with them just yesterday.

And, yes, one day of rest absolutely matters.

So, make it work or not. All is fine. Just maybe stop trying to find way to not make it work if you don't want it to anyway. I assume your time is valuable and use it more wisely.

[Unregistered]

Gonna try a "realistic" or "reasonable" approach to a reply that I hope sounds somewhat grounded. I'll give some specifics without being 100% exact b/c God knows some people try and triangulate who you are...but...next year our younger daughter will be U11 and we have an older daughter (U13 or older) so we've been in and around the scene for a bit and feel like we are educated up to this point..not saying we know it all, only that we feel educated to this point. I'm not criticizing at all...but although all of this GDA and ECNL banter and "I'm better than you" talk is frankly exhausting b/c it gets us nowhere, there are educational parts to it that I believe are important for parents of a player our younger one's age.

Setting the table, we're realistic about both our kids. (everyone says that of course) Our younger daughter has the base of tools all coaches want at her age, but so what, she's young. It's easy to look good at that age and this is about the long game and what she looks like at U15 or 16 that we care about. I'd classify her as a "top-3rd" kid on any team in our area and on many of the teams a top 3-4 player. I'd say she has high potential but at this point I'd not classify her as "high ceiling". I see her as a kid that will most likely always be on a top team, most likely be a starter in the top half of the team, but at this point falling short of those high ceiling players that people show up for. Again for now and she has time to fall short and drop down or rise to the top. That is honestly our objective view and all of that aside I think kids like her in many circumstances drop or fall because of the parents. She has a new club next year (not saying where but we had her into everyone's training: WCFC, PDA, STA, MFA, etc etc..the usual suspects) We could have picked anyone's top team but we didn't chase names or labels as other factors (below) are most impt. She has the tools there is no doubt, but I think that for where she is and in many circumstances parents can ruin it, so that is why here is what I've learned is most important and is 100% our approach to our younger kid: They are listed below in order of importance to us.

1) Is where she is going - the coach, the club, the players around her, the fields, do they all provide an EVERY DAY environment where she loves being there, wants to show up with joy and enthusiasm? Does the environment make her want to be on the ball at home and on her own as much as when I drop her off? Does this environment make her just love the game itself, "the beautiful game" as we call it. Does this environment make her identify herself as "a soccer player" more than just a kid "at this club". To me, without #1 the rest falls apart and at U15 it's a dead end.

2) The coach: Does the coach connect with my daughter in a way that makes her want to be a better player and better teammate? Does this coach inspire my daughter to learn while at the same time challenge her to get better? Soccer is hard, very hard. Beyond the skills and athleticism you need to be "elite", concepts are so hard---so does the coach and the club believe in teaching these things in layers over many years vs just throwing the most athletic kids out there to do great things for 1-3 years while they are more athletic than the rest? Does the coach believe that even at U16 there is still a lot to learn, and therefore at U11 believes it's just another layer to add on? Is their approach one that is truly centered on the player vs the parents and perceptions?

3) The team: Wins and losses at U11 are meaningless, but finding a group of players who show (as much as possibly as you can see) that they are willing to learn together, laugh together, win and lose together, and help each other. If the team environment looks like one where after every practice she still feels like an individual and not part of something bigger, it becomes too empty later on. The team should drive her and she should drive the team. Feeling like the kid has a part in both is important emotionally.

4) The club: (and this is last for a reason) Do we have a pathway that allows us to continue to drive her upward if she progresses, or allows her to take a step back if she has a bad year or two,? Does the club have the resources that again, makes her feel like she's part of something bigger than her so that she believe she needs to raise herself up as a person and a player? Are the facilities conducive to every day training and safety? Do we fundamentally believe that the club as an overall philosophy that aligns with points #'s 1-3 so that if she were to become elite at U15 or U16, everyone can then turn the screws and start debating where things are headed?

I believe these things intimately and have vowed to stick to them. What do I do before and after every practice where I take my daughter? (and these are 100% true)
The last thing I say to her before a practice or game: "Go have fun honey"
The first thing I say after a game: "I just loved watching you out there today"
The first things I say after a practice: "how was practice did you have fun today", "how do you think YOU did and tell me one thing you learned or worked on that helped you today"
When things get tough and she's upset, what is our "safety phrase" on what I remind her is important: "JUST PLAY" (I say this all the time)

At some point our kids take over in their minds...U13, U14ish...sometime around then. And if there is any poison in their minds for this game they will drop off the cliff. I believe our goal is not to destroy each other as parents about ECNL and GDA and all the coaches names we fling around here, but instead to foster the above in our young ladies.

[Unregistered]

Gonna try a "realistic" or "reasonable" approach to a reply that I hope sounds somewhat grounded. I'll give some specifics without being 100% exact b/c God knows some people try and triangulate who you are...but...next year our younger daughter will be U11 and we have an older daughter (U13 or older) so we've been in and around the scene for a bit and feel like we are educated up to this point..not saying we know it all, only that we feel educated to this point. I'm not criticizing at all...but although all of this GDA and ECNL banter and "I'm better than you" talk is frankly exhausting b/c it gets us nowhere, there are educational parts to it that I believe are important for parents of a player our younger one's age.

Setting the table, we're realistic about both our kids. (everyone says that of course) Our younger daughter has the base of tools all coaches want at her age, but so what, she's young. It's easy to look good at that age and this is about the long game and what she looks like at U15 or 16 that we care about. I'd classify her as a "top-3rd" kid on any team in our area and on many of the teams a top 3-4 player. I'd say she has high potential but at this point I'd not classify her as "high ceiling". I see her as a kid that will most likely always be on a top team, most likely be a starter in the top half of the team, but at this point falling short of those high ceiling players that people show up for. Again for now and she has time to fall short and drop down or rise to the top. That is honestly our objective view and all of that aside I think kids like her in many circumstances drop or fall because of the parents. She has a new club next year (not saying where but we had her into everyone's training: WCFC, PDA, STA, MFA, etc etc..the usual suspects) We could have picked anyone's top team but we didn't chase names or labels as other factors (below) are most impt. She has the tools there is no doubt, but I think that for where she is and in many circumstances parents can ruin it, so that is why here is what I've learned is most important and is 100% our approach to our younger kid: They are listed below in order of importance to us.

1) Is where she is going - the coach, the club, the players around her, the fields, do they all provide an EVERY DAY environment where she loves being there, wants to show up with joy and enthusiasm? Does the environment make her want to be on the ball at home and on her own as much as when I drop her off? Does this environment make her just love the game itself, "the beautiful game" as we call it. Does this environment make her identify herself as "a soccer player" more than just a kid "at this club". To me, without #1 the rest falls apart and at U15 it's a dead end.

2) The coach: Does the coach connect with my daughter in a way that makes her want to be a better player and better teammate? Does this coach inspire my daughter to learn while at the same time challenge her to get better? Soccer is hard, very hard. Beyond the skills and athleticism you need to be "elite", concepts are so hard---so does the coach and the club believe in teaching these things in layers over many years vs just throwing the most athletic kids out there to do great things for 1-3 years while they are more athletic than the rest? Does the coach believe that even at U16 there is still a lot to learn, and therefore at U11 believes it's just another layer to add on? Is their approach one that is truly centered on the player vs the parents and perceptions?

3) The team: Wins and losses at U11 are meaningless, but finding a group of players who show (as much as possibly as you can see) that they are willing to learn together, laugh together, win and lose together, and help each other. If the team environment looks like one where after every practice she still feels like an individual and not part of something bigger, it becomes too empty later on. The team should drive her and she should drive the team. Feeling like the kid has a part in both is important emotionally.

4) The club: (and this is last for a reason) Do we have a pathway that allows us to continue to drive her upward if she progresses, or allows her to take a step back if she has a bad year or two,? Does the club have the resources that again, makes her feel like she's part of something bigger than her so that she believe she needs to raise herself up as a person and a player? Are the facilities conducive to every day training and safety? Do we fundamentally believe that the club as an overall philosophy that aligns with points #'s 1-3 so that if she were to become elite at U15 or U16, everyone can then turn the screws and start debating where things are headed?

I believe these things intimately and have vowed to stick to them. What do I do before and after every practice where I take my daughter? (and these are 100% true)
The last thing I say to her before a practice or game: "Go have fun honey"
The first thing I say after a game: "I just loved watching you out there today"
The first things I say after a practice: "how was practice did you have fun today", "how do you think YOU did and tell me one thing you learned or worked on that helped you today"
When things get tough and she's upset, what is our "safety phrase" on what I remind her is important: "JUST PLAY" (I say this all the time)

At some point our kids take over in their minds...U13, U14ish...sometime around then. And if there is any poison in their minds for this game they will drop off the cliff. I believe our goal is not to destroy each other as parents about ECNL and GDA and all the coaches names we fling around here, but instead to foster the above in our young ladies.

Nice post. I like your thinking and can say my thoughts are similar. Although you seem a lot more in control of your emotions than me..lol... All that being said its still so hard as a parent to be comfortable with what decisions you are making. Parents on this forum help to make it complicated by posting either false or negative things. My daughter chose DA next year because of many of the reasons you've listed. I am not sure if it is the right or wrong decision but I know she will be in an environment that she will be happy and that's all I care about right now

[Unregistered]

Gonna try a "realistic" or "reasonable" approach to a reply that I hope sounds somewhat grounded. I'll give some specifics without being 100% exact b/c God knows some people try and triangulate who you are...but...next year our younger daughter will be U11 and we have an older daughter (U13 or older) so we've been in and around the scene for a bit and feel like we are educated up to this point..not saying we know it all, only that we feel educated to this point. I'm not criticizing at all...but although all of this GDA and ECNL banter and "I'm better than you" talk is frankly exhausting b/c it gets us nowhere, there are educational parts to it that I believe are important for parents of a player our younger one's age.

Setting the table, we're realistic about both our kids. (everyone says that of course) Our younger daughter has the base of tools all coaches want at her age, but so what, she's young. It's easy to look good at that age and this is about the long game and what she looks like at U15 or 16 that we care about. I'd classify her as a "top-3rd" kid on any team in our area and on many of the teams a top 3-4 player. I'd say she has high potential but at this point I'd not classify her as "high ceiling". I see her as a kid that will most likely always be on a top team, most likely be a starter in the top half of the team, but at this point falling short of those high ceiling players that people show up for. Again for now and she has time to fall short and drop down or rise to the top. That is honestly our objective view and all of that aside I think kids like her in many circumstances drop or fall because of the parents. She has a new club next year (not saying where but we had her into everyone's training: WCFC, PDA, STA, MFA, etc etc..the usual suspects) We could have picked anyone's top team but we didn't chase names or labels as other factors (below) are most impt. She has the tools there is no doubt, but I think that for where she is and in many circumstances parents can ruin it, so that is why here is what I've learned is most important and is 100% our approach to our younger kid: They are listed below in order of importance to us.

1) Is where she is going - the coach, the club, the players around her, the fields, do they all provide an EVERY DAY environment where she loves being there, wants to show up with joy and enthusiasm? Does the environment make her want to be on the ball at home and on her own as much as when I drop her off? Does this environment make her just love the game itself, "the beautiful game" as we call it. Does this environment make her identify herself as "a soccer player" more than just a kid "at this club". To me, without #1 the rest falls apart and at U15 it's a dead end.

2) The coach: Does the coach connect with my daughter in a way that makes her want to be a better player and better teammate? Does this coach inspire my daughter to learn while at the same time challenge her to get better? Soccer is hard, very hard. Beyond the skills and athleticism you need to be "elite", concepts are so hard---so does the coach and the club believe in teaching these things in layers over many years vs just throwing the most athletic kids out there to do great things for 1-3 years while they are more athletic than the rest? Does the coach believe that even at U16 there is still a lot to learn, and therefore at U11 believes it's just another layer to add on? Is their approach one that is truly centered on the player vs the parents and perceptions?

3) The team: Wins and losses at U11 are meaningless, but finding a group of players who show (as much as possibly as you can see) that they are willing to learn together, laugh together, win and lose together, and help each other. If the team environment looks like one where after every practice she still feels like an individual and not part of something bigger, it becomes too empty later on. The team should drive her and she should drive the team. Feeling like the kid has a part in both is important emotionally.

4) The club: (and this is last for a reason) Do we have a pathway that allows us to continue to drive her upward if she progresses, or allows her to take a step back if she has a bad year or two,? Does the club have the resources that again, makes her feel like she's part of something bigger than her so that she believe she needs to raise herself up as a person and a player? Are the facilities conducive to every day training and safety? Do we fundamentally believe that the club as an overall philosophy that aligns with points #'s 1-3 so that if she were to become elite at U15 or U16, everyone can then turn the screws and start debating where things are headed?

I believe these things intimately and have vowed to stick to them. What do I do before and after every practice where I take my daughter? (and these are 100% true)
The last thing I say to her before a practice or game: "Go have fun honey"
The first thing I say after a game: "I just loved watching you out there today"
The first things I say after a practice: "how was practice did you have fun today", "how do you think YOU did and tell me one thing you learned or worked on that helped you today"
When things get tough and she's upset, what is our "safety phrase" on what I remind her is important: "JUST PLAY" (I say this all the time)

At some point our kids take over in their minds...U13, U14ish...sometime around then. And if there is any poison in their minds for this game they will drop off the cliff. I believe our goal is not to destroy each other as parents about ECNL and GDA and all the coaches names we fling around here, but instead to foster the above in our young ladies.

This is probably the best post I’ve read in a long time. It’s the way my wife and an feel whenever we drop our u11 daughter off at the club we have come to call our 2nd home this past year. We spend 3 nights a week in an environment where older girls teams don’t just brush off the U11’s but sit on the sidelines and cheer our girls on. My daughter looks up to those girls on the ECNL teams and is determined to get there as well.

Great post!!

[Unregistered]

Nice post. I like your thinking and can say my thoughts are similar. Although you seem a lot more in control of your emotions than me..lol... All that being said its still so hard as a parent to be comfortable with what decisions you are making. Parents on this forum help to make it complicated by posting either false or negative things. My daughter chose DA next year because of many of the reasons you've listed. I am not sure if it is the right or wrong decision but I know she will be in an environment that she will be happy and that's all I care about right now

Yes there is some negativity, but the biggest obstacle to evaluating any information posted her is you have no idea about the quality of player it refers to. Advice for a YNT player looking at Stanford Duke and UCLA is very different to a good kid looking at Monmouth and Quinnipiac.

Unless you know the source. its impossible.

People assume that there are common goals and there are some, but every kid is unique and these forums tend to over generalize.

Good luck

[Unregistered]

One day of rest isn't going to make that big a difference. The $ sure adds up for the local hotels and car rental companies though. Sometimes vacation days can't be avoided because of other family members. Our school is a royal pain in the azz about missed school days and once you're in high school missing matters a great deal.

Then you had better get your kid into drama club or art, because in college, they miss days too. And one day of rest DOES make a difference. #snowflake parents

[Unregistered]

Yes there is some negativity, but the biggest obstacle to evaluating any information posted her is you have no idea about the quality of player it refers to. Advice for a YNT player looking at Stanford Duke and UCLA is very different to a good kid looking at Monmouth and Quinnipiac.

Unless you know the source. its impossible.

People assume that there are common goals and there are some, but every kid is unique and these forums tend to over generalize.

Good luck

True that. Some are common items to discuss though...the cost. No reason it should be this expensive to play a game. Youth sports are out of control as far as cost and time required. Gone are the days of having free time for these kids. That's not healthy.

[Unregistered]

Nice post. I like your thinking and can say my thoughts are similar. Although you seem a lot more in control of your emotions than me..lol... All that being said its still so hard as a parent to be comfortable with what decisions you are making. Parents on this forum help to make it complicated by posting either false or negative things. My daughter chose DA next year because of many of the reasons you've listed. I am not sure if it is the right or wrong decision but I know she will be in an environment that she will be happy and that's all I care about right now

OP from the above here. Thank you but trust me I fall short of what I wrote early and often...right there with you!! :) I do tell her all those things before/after every practice/game, but sometimes after that I say too much when she wanted nothing and sometimes I say too little when she wanted more, but what is most important to me is that we talk and more so we communicate which is something that transcends soccer.

What I wrote is kinda the standard I set for myself..again a standard sometimes I nail on the head and other times I realize I fell way short of...but it is about me..us..improving as parents along the way as our girls "improve" as players and people, and I definitely believe that creating a standard for yourself, writing it down and remembering it is important. I read this book "Dads and Daughters" by Author Joe Kelly, and honestly every dad of girls should read it..makes you really think about the impact that dads have on girls for their whole lives...I try, it is about the best we can do!

[Unregistered]

I wish for my kid to wake up tomorrow and tell me she wants to quit! I am burnt the F out and miss golfing, real football on the weekends and my dog!

[Unregistered]

I wish for my kid to wake up tomorrow and tell me she wants to quit! I am burnt the F out and miss golfing, real football on the weekends and my dog!

a very fair PoV. also quality family time.

[Unregistered]

I wish for my kid to wake up tomorrow and tell me she wants to quit! I am burnt the F out and miss golfing, real football on the weekends and my dog!

Sad. Love spending time with my kid, watching her learn the beautiful game. Bring our dogs to most games and there's not football in spring. Plus, games are on Saturday mostly anyway.