Up to what age is it reasonable to expect playing time to be split fairly? Noticing teams we play seem to be pretty fair. 1/2 on 1/2 off sort of thing. This one isn’t. Discouraging to kid who would prefer being on a lower team if it means playing and not riding the bench. Pre-pubescent age group.
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostUp to what age is it reasonable to expect playing time to be split fairly? Noticing teams we play seem to be pretty fair. 1/2 on 1/2 off sort of thing. This one isn’t. Discouraging to kid who would prefer being on a lower team if it means playing and not riding the bench. Pre-pubescent age group.
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostStarts about U13 and really takes effect at U14-15. Get your kid off that team if he is U12 or younger, that's bullshyte.
To the op: it's still early so don't panic quite yet. Give it a few more weeks. Your player may need to work on some things he/she isn't aware of, possibly even including attitude. Out kids aren't all the angels and superstars we think they are. But if it continues definitely move
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostYes younger. Elementary school. I’m pissed.
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostEven in middle school PT should be meaningful. Note not equal but meaningful. Throwing a kid in for ten minutes to give a starter a break is BS. It won't help their development and definitely can crush their confidence and enthusiasm. When they do get in they're worried about messing up and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy
To the op: it's still early so don't panic quite yet. Give it a few more weeks. Your player may need to work on some things he/she isn't aware of, possibly even including attitude. Out kids aren't all the angels and superstars we think they are. But if it continues definitely move
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostUp to what age is it reasonable to expect playing time to be split fairly? Noticing teams we play seem to be pretty fair. 1/2 on 1/2 off sort of thing. This one isn’t. Discouraging to kid who would prefer being on a lower team if it means playing and not riding the bench. Pre-pubescent age group.
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostThere's a coach at fsa that I suspect would do this that's why I asked
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostUp to what age is it reasonable to expect playing time to be split fairly? Noticing teams we play seem to be pretty fair. 1/2 on 1/2 off sort of thing. This one isn’t. Discouraging to kid who would prefer being on a lower team if it means playing and not riding the bench. Pre-pubescent age group.
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My advice from having my kid go through something like this as well - and people might not like it. At this age its coming to a sifting point of the kids for competitiveness and it is starting earlier and earlier with the DA now dropping into u12 and making rosters so young.
First you need to be honest with yourself when it comes to your kid. Is he/she competitive and aggressive? are they as technical as the kids that are getting the playing time? are they fit and able to go nonstop and make long runs every time they need to? are they "big enough" (yes to all the people who say size doesn't matter - you are mostly right, but if your kid weights sixty pounds and everyone else is ninety, theres going to be concern, tough truth to swallow, is what it is.)
If they are not all of those things, then take a deep breath and think about where they are deficient and is it something you as the parent can "fix"? and WANT to invest time in fixing. This is a huge time commitment as a parent.
Is it a factor of being technical? get them tons, tons of clinics (most are snake oil, but they still do provide an environment to try things and not get squashed in a game environment - it works.) Is it a factor of being fit? have them do cross country in the fall. That'll sort that out fast. If that is not an option, just go running with them - be an example and put in the effort. If its aggressiveness, that's harder to fix, but it can come with confidence - more clinics and not with their friends, people they don't know or are not friends with are the best training environments. All winter long there is stuff everywhere. Parisi, futsal, indoor, just train all the time. Size, well, do your best to have them be aggressive and offset the size, be fearless, that's tough to coach in a kid, but with confidence it can be done.
If the above isn't it, and the coach has his favorites and your kid is being adversely selected against for whatever reason (and there hundreds of reasons that really have nothing to do with your kid -coach lives next door to a kid, the parent is a crazy person and its easier just playing their kid, they went to college together, the coach thinks he sees something in a u11 worth trying to develop, you the parent aren't "plugged in", it goes on), well this is where its a little unpleasant because you are already "on the bus" for the season/year.
If your kid wants to go far in the sport, they need to remember these are not their friends, they are team mates, not friends - they "can" be friends, but in reality, they are competing with your kid for time and energy from the program. You as a parent can't really be friends with the other folks either, you can be super friendly, but your kid is competing with their kid at the end of the day. If your kid suddenly starts putting another kid on the bench, you think they'll still be your "friend", they'll be friendly, but its business, even at u10/11/12/13/14/15. Is what it is again. If they want friends, play rec or travel.
If your kid is as good as/ almost as good as/ or even better than another kid(s), you have to tell your kid to stomp a mudhole in the kids that are the coaches favorites and basically force them to acknowledge your kid and give them playtime. They're going to need to develop thick skin to get through this phase of development. If all else, your kid should use this time to be aggressive and dominate as much as they can, don't have to be an ahole about it, just be stronger/more technical/faster.
It might not be pleasant, as they are upsetting the apple cart, but if they really want to play, they're going to have to start fighting for their spots. It sucks that they're just having to start a lot earlier than at the tryouts for high school or other premier clubs. By dominating or trying to, they will get confidence and the ability to not give a f, that is super hard to develop, the not give a f. Once they get that, they can play anywhere, with anyone, as long as they have the technical skills. Confidence goes extremely, extremely far. Look at the kid you may know or see who may be super technical but doesn't like to get banged around, well in games, you get banged around. The technical ability means squat if you aren't confident. At a certain point you can be less technical if you are super confident and aggressive. The softer kids get weeded out and dropped down, the harder kids stay and bang and develop.
Is what it is.
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostMy advice from having my kid go through something like this as well - and people might not like it. At this age its coming to a sifting point of the kids for competitiveness and it is starting earlier and earlier with the DA now dropping into u12 and making rosters so young.
First you need to be honest with yourself when it comes to your kid. Is he/she competitive and aggressive? are they as technical as the kids that are getting the playing time? are they fit and able to go nonstop and make long runs every time they need to? are they "big enough" (yes to all the people who say size doesn't matter - you are mostly right, but if your kid weights sixty pounds and everyone else is ninety, theres going to be concern, tough truth to swallow, is what it is.)
If they are not all of those things, then take a deep breath and think about where they are deficient and is it something you as the parent can "fix"? and WANT to invest time in fixing. This is a huge time commitment as a parent.
Is it a factor of being technical? get them tons, tons of clinics (most are snake oil, but they still do provide an environment to try things and not get squashed in a game environment - it works.) Is it a factor of being fit? have them do cross country in the fall. That'll sort that out fast. If that is not an option, just go running with them - be an example and put in the effort. If its aggressiveness, that's harder to fix, but it can come with confidence - more clinics and not with their friends, people they don't know or are not friends with are the best training environments. All winter long there is stuff everywhere. Parisi, futsal, indoor, just train all the time. Size, well, do your best to have them be aggressive and offset the size, be fearless, that's tough to coach in a kid, but with confidence it can be done.
If the above isn't it, and the coach has his favorites and your kid is being adversely selected against for whatever reason (and there hundreds of reasons that really have nothing to do with your kid -coach lives next door to a kid, the parent is a crazy person and its easier just playing their kid, they went to college together, the coach thinks he sees something in a u11 worth trying to develop, you the parent aren't "plugged in", it goes on), well this is where its a little unpleasant because you are already "on the bus" for the season/year.
If your kid wants to go far in the sport, they need to remember these are not their friends, they are team mates, not friends - they "can" be friends, but in reality, they are competing with your kid for time and energy from the program. You as a parent can't really be friends with the other folks either, you can be super friendly, but your kid is competing with their kid at the end of the day. If your kid suddenly starts putting another kid on the bench, you think they'll still be your "friend", they'll be friendly, but its business, even at u10/11/12/13/14/15. Is what it is again. If they want friends, play rec or travel.
If your kid is as good as/ almost as good as/ or even better than another kid(s), you have to tell your kid to stomp a mudhole in the kids that are the coaches favorites and basically force them to acknowledge your kid and give them playtime. They're going to need to develop thick skin to get through this phase of development. If all else, your kid should use this time to be aggressive and dominate as much as they can, don't have to be an ahole about it, just be stronger/more technical/faster.
It might not be pleasant, as they are upsetting the apple cart, but if they really want to play, they're going to have to start fighting for their spots. It sucks that they're just having to start a lot earlier than at the tryouts for high school or other premier clubs. By dominating or trying to, they will get confidence and the ability to not give a f, that is super hard to develop, the not give a f. Once they get that, they can play anywhere, with anyone, as long as they have the technical skills. Confidence goes extremely, extremely far. Look at the kid you may know or see who may be super technical but doesn't like to get banged around, well in games, you get banged around. The technical ability means squat if you aren't confident. At a certain point you can be less technical if you are super confident and aggressive. The softer kids get weeded out and dropped down, the harder kids stay and bang and develop.
Is what it is.
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