Girls Club Soccer is a Waste of Family Time and Money

[Unregistered]

How did your other kids feel with all of the travel where there days, weekends and holidays were wasted for they had to watch the favorite child.

Been there, done that. It was always the choice of the kids not playing soccer as to what they wanted to do; travel with family, or stay home. Nearly always chose to travel. They know the fun doesn't begin and end with the match. If you look at things as a waste of time, you've already lost. We could not afford to fly to the games out of state. Too costly, but still the kids all attend HS games and local league games for our younger kids still playing. They all love it. I think you are fostering a negative way of thinking and it is probably affecting your own kids way of looking at their siblings. Not healthy.

[Unregistered]

I think it is interesting, and actually pretty tasteless, that people make their own assumptions about why the OP made those statements.

Just because it all worked out in the end for some of us doesnt mean it is a great system. In fact it is a pretty broken and backward system. Some people end up having a terrible experience. Ours was up and down for sure. The expense, the disloyalty, the cliques, the politics, lies, etc. are hard to over come. I've seen players who have been with a coach for a few years get tossed to the side because the new shiny toy from that really cool club said they want to play for us. I've seen questionable playing time for family friends of a coach. I've seen coaches hold grudges for years. But I've also seen kids have the best times of their lives and make lifetime friends.

Sometimes things are what you make of them. If you have realistic expectations and make a weekend trip a positive event like a mini vacation, the experience can be quite good. If it is all about a college scholarship, you are better off investing the money. Unfortunately it is difficult to find the right situation in all areas but when you do, the positive experience is definitely possible. But because we have turned youth sports into a revenue producing business, we have forgotten that it is supposed to be about the kids and we end up with families like the OP who started out to do something fun and ended up getting caught up in the machine.

[Unregistered]

I think it is interesting, and actually pretty tasteless, that people make their own assumptions about why the OP made those statements.

Just because it all worked out in the end for some of us doesnt mean it is a great system. In fact it is a pretty broken and backward system. Some people end up having a terrible experience. Ours was up and down for sure. The expense, the disloyalty, the cliques, the politics, lies, etc. are hard to over come. I've seen players who have been with a coach for a few years get tossed to the side because the new shiny toy from that really cool club said they want to play for us. I've seen questionable playing time for family friends of a coach. I've seen coaches hold grudges for years. But I've also seen kids have the best times of their lives and make lifetime friends.

Sometimes things are what you make of them. If you have realistic expectations and make a weekend trip a positive event like a mini vacation, the experience can be quite good. If it is all about a college scholarship, you are better off investing the money. Unfortunately it is difficult to find the right situation in all areas but when you do, the positive experience is definitely possible. But because we have turned youth sports into a revenue producing business, we have forgotten that it is supposed to be about the kids and we end up with families like the OP who started out to do something fun and ended up getting caught up in the machine.

I largely agree with this well thought out post. Our experience has been very positive and it has had an overall very positive impact on our daughter - BUT - it did take a lot more attention and effort on our (parents) part to overcome some of the negative aspects listed in the previous post than it should have. I can see where some families could get "caught up in the machine" and not have such a positive experience. The "system" is very hard to navigate once you get past Rec soccer if you don't start with the right club in your area. My daughter plays U13 this year and this is our 3rd club. Not because we are club hoppers but because as she got better she started to encounter some of the negative things listed above and we invested a lot of time and energy to find her a better fitting situation. I think a lot of families can't find that better fit (for a variety of reasons) and leave the game.

[Unregistered]

I think it is interesting, and actually pretty tasteless, that people make their own assumptions about why the OP made those statements.

Just because it all worked out in the end for some of us doesnt mean it is a great system. In fact it is a pretty broken and backward system. Some people end up having a terrible experience. Ours was up and down for sure. The expense, the disloyalty, the cliques, the politics, lies, etc. are hard to over come. I've seen players who have been with a coach for a few years get tossed to the side because the new shiny toy from that really cool club said they want to play for us. I've seen questionable playing time for family friends of a coach. I've seen coaches hold grudges for years. But I've also seen kids have the best times of their lives and make lifetime friends.

Sometimes things are what you make of them. If you have realistic expectations and make a weekend trip a positive event like a mini vacation, the experience can be quite good. If it is all about a college scholarship, you are better off investing the money. Unfortunately it is difficult to find the right situation in all areas but when you do, the positive experience is definitely possible. But because we have turned youth sports into a revenue producing business, we have forgotten that it is supposed to be about the kids and we end up with families like the OP who started out to do something fun and ended up getting caught up in the machine.

Life is generally what you make of it - both of my daughters played from 5 years old to 18. Neither one played in college and there was never any chance of that happening. They enjoyed playing and we enjoyed traveling with the other families. Soccer taught them all types of lessons and that translated into GPA's over 4 and academic scholarships. Both girls played with athletes that play or will play D1 and D2 in college so the opportunity was there for those that had the talent.

[Unregistered]

DO NOT get suckered into competitive soccer! Every holiday and most weekends will be spent with strangers away from home. Then before you know it, your girl is grown, and you no longer can get that time back. Your time is better spend letting her play locally in a recreational league, and then focus on academics, and other local activities. Holidays should be spent with family, as you can never get that time back.

Sincerely,
A parent that has learned the hard way

I read and re-read your post trying to decipher what you are going through. And I realized that part of your motivation for writing this has to do with the holidays. I'm guessing your daughter won't be home for the holidays, and you're not happy about that. While I haven't finished my own daughter's soccer journey yet, I do think that the time and effort you invest in your kid will come back 10-fold. Maybe not this year, but a child who stayed focused, off of drugs, and out of trouble, will eventually become the kind of person who will want to spend the holidays with her parents. Maybe not in the awful teen years when they flip out and hate their mothers (as I understand they all do)...but she will come back to her senses quicker than most and you'll have more time with her than parents of the less-than-well-adjusted-kids will have with theirs. I'm saying your investment and time will pay off throughout your lifetime...even if not right now.

[Unregistered]

Life is generally what you make of it - both of my daughters played from 5 years old to 18. Neither one played in college and there was never any chance of that happening. They enjoyed playing and we enjoyed traveling with the other families. Soccer taught them all types of lessons and that translated into GPA's over 4 and academic scholarships. Both girls played with athletes that play or will play D1 and D2 in college so the opportunity was there for those that had the talent.

Well put!!

[Unregistered]

I think it is interesting, and actually pretty tasteless, that people make their own assumptions about why the OP made those statements.

Just because it all worked out in the end for some of us doesnt mean it is a great system. In fact it is a pretty broken and backward system. Some people end up having a terrible experience. Ours was up and down for sure. The expense, the disloyalty, the cliques, the politics, lies, etc. are hard to over come. I've seen players who have been with a coach for a few years get tossed to the side because the new shiny toy from that really cool club said they want to play for us. I've seen questionable playing time for family friends of a coach. I've seen coaches hold grudges for years. But I've also seen kids have the best times of their lives and make lifetime friends.

Sometimes things are what you make of them. If you have realistic expectations and make a weekend trip a positive event like a mini vacation, the experience can be quite good. If it is all about a college scholarship, you are better off investing the money. Unfortunately it is difficult to find the right situation in all areas but when you do, the positive experience is definitely possible. But because we have turned youth sports into a revenue producing business, we have forgotten that it is supposed to be about the kids and we end up with families like the OP who started out to do something fun and ended up getting caught up in the machine.

the negativity in the OP's post was front and center. No one made any assumptions. Your post is just as negative as you are calling anyone who verbalizes their opinion tasteless. You continue the cycle of negativity. We saw little of what some of you complain of. We believe soccer kept all of our kids out of trouble and on a path to college.

[Unregistered]

Life is generally what you make of it - both of my daughters played from 5 years old to 18. Neither one played in college and there was never any chance of that happening. They enjoyed playing and we enjoyed traveling with the other families. Soccer taught them all types of lessons and that translated into GPA's over 4 and academic scholarships. Both girls played with athletes that play or will play D1 and D2 in college so the opportunity was there for those that had the talent.

This^. Some people thought that soccer took away too much family time. We considered soccer time as family time. Met lot's of great people. Unfortunately, also met lot's of no-so-great people too, but like this person said, it's what you make out of it. I will say though, that I'm mostly glad that it is over and my children are grown and the youngest is in college. Now I can actually go buy tickets for a college football game and actually get to go see it!

[Unregistered]

the negativity in the OP's post was front and center. No one made any assumptions. Your post is just as negative as you are calling anyone who verbalizes their opinion tasteless. You continue the cycle of negativity. We saw little of what some of you complain of. We believe soccer kept all of our kids out of trouble and on a path to college.

It was clear the OP was unhappy and had a very negative experience. What I found classless was that people made the assumption that the OP was at fault. Here is an example.

"Sounds to me like you may have a lot of issues going on and youth soccer may be the least of them."

And then there is this gem.
"Sounds like YOU were the one with grandiose delusions that your daughter would be the best player and get a scholarship to some elite school somewhere. You probably kept pushing her year end and year out to play for the team you thought was the best. At the end she ended up hating you for making her do something she didn't want to do and moved out when old enough. All you remember was probably all the frustrating games and times you had with her arguing about how she could have played better. All of these years when you could have just tried to relax, enjoy the fact that she's playing organize sports and keeping fit instead of laying in the backseat of someone's car. You could have talked to and made friends with the families in the club and made life long friends. You took the extreme route and it didn't work out and you regret it. Boohoo!!"




You, or whoever posted those things, werent there so you have no idea why they had a bad experience. If you arent the chosen few, this experience can be pretty negative.

It is also clear that others thought my post was positive so it is apparent that you just want to justify or argue your point. I guess that is what the internets are all about.

[Unregistered]

It was clear the OP was unhappy and had a very negative experience. What I found classless was that people made the assumption that the OP was at fault. Here is an example.

"Sounds to me like you may have a lot of issues going on and youth soccer may be the least of them."

And then there is this gem.
"Sounds like YOU were the one with grandiose delusions that your daughter would be the best player and get a scholarship to some elite school somewhere. You probably kept pushing her year end and year out to play for the team you thought was the best. At the end she ended up hating you for making her do something she didn't want to do and moved out when old enough. All you remember was probably all the frustrating games and times you had with her arguing about how she could have played better. All of these years when you could have just tried to relax, enjoy the fact that she's playing organize sports and keeping fit instead of laying in the backseat of someone's car. You could have talked to and made friends with the families in the club and made life long friends. You took the extreme route and it didn't work out and you regret it. Boohoo!!"




You, or whoever posted those things, werent there so you have no idea why they had a bad experience. If you arent the chosen few, this experience can be pretty negative.

It is also clear that others thought my post was positive so it is apparent that you just want to justify or argue your point. I guess that is what the internets are all about.

I think initially the problem is that you glossed over the title of this thread and others did not. "Girls club soccer is a waste of family time and money" just girls mind you, not boys. That is how the thread started.

[Unregistered]

Its only a waste of time and money if you play for Kendall United.

[Unregistered]

I think initially the problem is that you glossed over the title of this thread and others did not. "Girls club soccer is a waste of family time and money" just girls mind you, not boys. That is how the thread started.

Title seems accurate to me.

[Unregistered]

girl soccer ???? who cares !!

[Unregistered]

Al girls sports are a waste except for tennis.

[Unregistered]

Al girls sports are a waste except for tennis.

....and beach volleyball.