How Poisonous Can One Crazy Parent Be?

[Unregistered]

We have all dealt with crazy parents and people at our clubs over the years. I am not speaking of the ultra-passionate crazies that believe their DD is the next Mia Hamm. I am talking about the truly nutty folks that are more like a virus and destroy everything good around them. They spend their life running through all sorts of clubs like a tornado, killing every relationship in their path. They think they are doing what is right for their little suzie all-star, but are doing way more damage than good. They meddle in business that is not their own, constantly complain about training, playing time, positions, coaches, the fields, and other kids.

The big questions for those of you who have dealt with these kinds of folks are: Why? Is there a reason for what they do or is all rational thought completely devoid from their head? Do they believe they are doing the right thing, or is it malicious? What is the best strategy to deal with these types of corrosive people?

[Unregistered]

We have all dealt with crazy parents and people at our clubs over the years. I am not speaking of the ultra-passionate crazies that believe their DD is the next Mia Hamm. I am talking about the truly nutty folks that are more like a virus and destroy everything good around them. They spend their life running through all sorts of clubs like a tornado, killing every relationship in their path. They think they are doing what is right for their little suzie all-star, but are doing way more damage than good. They meddle in business that is not their own, constantly complain about training, playing time, positions, coaches, the fields, and other kids.

The big questions for those of you who have dealt with these kinds of folks are: Why? Is there a reason for what they do or is all rational thought completely devoid from their head? Do they believe they are doing the right thing, or is it malicious? What is the best strategy to deal with these types of corrosive people?

Completely ignore them.
If they return next year at tryouts - have a back up plan.

[Unregistered]

Completely ignore them.
If they return next year at tryouts - have a back up plan.

Oh - I wonder if the person you speak of is the same one that rolled through our club last year. They are everywhere - we were happy to see her go back to Vantucky. We called her the VCL (Vancouver Crazy Lady)...

[Unregistered]

Oh - I wonder if the person you speak of is the same one that rolled through our club last year. They are everywhere - we were happy to see her go back to Vantucky. We called her the VCL (Vancouver Crazy Lady)...

There are a couple of ways to deal with them, and I don't necessarily agree with "ignore them". In fact, they are probably looking for attention so if you ignore them it gets worse. Our board actually ended up holding a private meeting and removed the family from the club due to their conduct and how they were destroying one of the top teams in the club. Caused a great coach to resign and 3 of the best players left because of this one parent. It was really sad. Unfortunately we acted too slowly as a board and lost those good kids and it took 2 years to get the coach back. I wish we would have done something sooner.

[Unregistered]

I think it takes the clubs a very long time to act. Many years ago my oldest player was on a team with a parent like that. The parent ended up taking the player to another club and 4 of the better players with them. It was like this huge rift was placed on the team. The team recovered and two years later the parent and player came back. I was wary because of what happened the first time. Guess what happened the second time? The exact same thing. Only the second time it was the undoings of the team. Sure the team kept going but my player left as it was rendered mediocre at best. My player left and it all worked out in the end. It sort of reminded me of a saying:

"Dog bites you once, shame on the dog. Dog bites you twice, shame on you."

Poisonous parents can kill team comradeship, and the underlying motive even when identified probably doesn't help to know. Same result.

[Unregistered]

I think it takes the clubs a very long time to act. Many years ago my oldest player was on a team with a parent like that. The parent ended up taking the player to another club and 4 of the better players with them. It was like this huge rift was placed on the team. The team recovered and two years later the parent and player came back. I was wary because of what happened the first time. Guess what happened the second time? The exact same thing. Only the second time it was the undoings of the team. Sure the team kept going but my player left as it was rendered mediocre at best. My player left and it all worked out in the end. It sort of reminded me of a saying:

"Dog bites you once, shame on the dog. Dog bites you twice, shame on you."

Poisonous parents can kill team comradeship, and the underlying motive even when identified probably doesn't help to know. Same result.

Poisonous parents hurt their kids more than the club. Yes, they can certainly destroy team chemistry as the child usually will have the same personality, and even drive off coaches and new players, but in the end it is their daughter that gets the short end of the stick.

[Unregistered]

OMG - I have witnessed the exact same thing at our club last year. Crazy mom thought they knew better than the coaches and trainers, called and harassed the coach, and basically got her daughter kicked out. Daughter was a good kid - mostly. No chance with a mom like that.

[Unregistered]

OMG - I have witnessed the exact same thing at our club last year. Crazy mom thought they knew better than the coaches and trainers, called and harassed the coach, and basically got her daughter kicked out. Daughter was a good kid - mostly. No chance with a mom like that.

VCL! VCL! I know this lady and I swear this thread was written for her. Has basically ruined every opportunity for her daughter in Oregon and SW Wa. I wonder what team got so lucky this year to have them?

[Unregistered]

VCL! VCL! I know this lady and I swear this thread was written for her. Has basically ruined every opportunity for her daughter in Oregon and SW Wa. I wonder what team got so lucky this year to have them?

Here is what you need to do. Pack your bags and move out of Vantucky. There are crazies everywhere over there. They will destroy your team. The fact they would let someone back into the club that already burnt bridges shows the desperation for revenue. If the board members were smart, they would remove the plague mom immediately. Send her packing with her daughter and hope another club (best case is a competing club) picks them up. But they are not, have proven it over the years. So GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!

[Unregistered]

Sadly, many more than one kid in OR with a parent/s like this. Our team went from happy, top of the mountain team two years ago to bottom of the heap, unhappy & infighting after a parent like this took control of the team.

[Unregistered]

We have all dealt with crazy parents and people at our clubs over the years. I am not speaking of the ultra-passionate crazies that believe their DD is the next Mia Hamm. I am talking about the truly nutty folks that are more like a virus and destroy everything good around them. They spend their life running through all sorts of clubs like a tornado, killing every relationship in their path. They think they are doing what is right for their little suzie all-star, but are doing way more damage than good. They meddle in business that is not their own, constantly complain about training, playing time, positions, coaches, the fields, and other kids.

The big questions for those of you who have dealt with these kinds of folks are: Why? Is there a reason for what they do or is all rational thought completely devoid from their head? Do they believe they are doing the right thing, or is it malicious? What is the best strategy to deal with these types of corrosive people?

Do you care to share the current club that is having a problem this big? I am interested to know if it is truly WT_FC as they were supposed to be cleaning up these types of messes with the new board members.

[Unregistered]

Sadly, many more than one kid in OR with a parent/s like this. Our team went from happy, top of the mountain team two years ago to bottom of the heap, unhappy & infighting after a parent like this took control of the team.

Every club has at least one!

[Unregistered]

No, probably just the opposite. My bets are on holding down the Vantucky fort and wait out the storm. She barely lasts one year on a team/club so the odds of her moving again are highly likely. She has been involved with just about every team in Vantucky now, and no where else to go but back to Oregon to test out every club there. Be looking for her to be popping up on your team and your camps this winter. ECNL here she comes. ECNL is good for something.

[Unregistered]

No, probably just the opposite. My bets are on holding down the Vantucky fort and wait out the storm. She barely lasts one year on a team/club so the odds of her moving again are highly likely. She has been involved with just about every team in Vantucky now, and no where else to go but back to Oregon to test out every club there. Be looking for her to be popping up on your team and your camps this winter. ECNL here she comes. ECNL is good for something.

VCL was banned in Oregon. Hopefully she takes her own unique brand of "crazy" to some other region. I am sure she would be embraced in California...*cough cough.

[Unregistered]

We got rid of our crazy mom due to an injury and she is now back! You know the "mom" everything she says is about her daughter. Trust me it is a cancer as we had way better team and more fun when she wasn't around.