Individual Training

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You must have a lot of time on your hands to write this

You must have the same amount of time on your hands to read it and respond.

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seems like a nice guy, but I think he is a helicopter even if he isn't trying to be one.

That's why I'm asking. Nobody ever had to tell me to train when I was younger. I played multiple sports, trained all year, and loved it. I was motivated through college but after college I blew a chance to play in German 2nd division because I had enough. Stopped training, partied too much and was sent back to the states. Is 13 too young to be pushed? The time frame is very short to make something of yourself or end up being one of those players that wish they put more effort in. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am one of those parents. I just don't want to see her blow her chances like so many good athletes do.

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Well...I was the poster that emphasized identifying the players goals and going forward from there.

I don’t think you are an a55hole. Sounds like you love your daughter and see some potential and you don’t want to see her waste it and have her miss out on her goals because she didn’t go all in to reach them. That’s understandable.

Some thoughts...have her verbalize and write down her Soccer goals both short term and long term. Then she’s taking ownership of them. If they really are to play in a NT camp or play for UNC, then she is going to need a reality check on what that is going to take. She’s not even close to the commitment needed. You have to put her in touch with a 3rd party (not you, you’re her parent a know nothing) that has seen the hard work and dedication that level of success requires. There are some coaches that can speak with her via Skype. Lots that do remote training and programming.

Sounds like you’ve already done your part facilitating her potential training happening. Field, training tools, etc....either she doesn’t realize what it takes or she doesn’t really want it.

Thanks for the advice. Really appreciate it. I will take your advice and have someone speak with her. Thanks again!!

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Thanks for the advice. Really appreciate it. I will take your advice and have someone speak with her. Thanks again!!

You’re welcome. Last bit of advice....Once she knows what it takes and the commitment needed, then training has to be internally driven. Any success that she achieves because she is forced into it will only be fleeting. As she gets older than 13, if she doesn’t LOVE it and really want it on her own, then there is no amount of helicoptering that will help her reach lofty goals.

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Sounds like she should be pushed out of her comfort zone. Maybe not change clubs yet but find ways to get her more often with players that will challenge her more. That alone may motivate her to work more. Show her the histories of successful players and their backgrounds. Take her to an ECNL or GDA game and see if better players sparks an interest.

But, as has been said, all you can do is plant the seed. Only she can nurture it and help it grow. It can be maddening when you know your kid could be that much better at something or do better in school if only they would ___________ fill in the blank. They have to figure it out in their own and yes they will make mistakes. But you learn from mistakes

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Do your daughter a favor and let her enjoy the game and have fun. Save the money for college, or a real life event, or for traveling the world. There is no future in soccer in the USA, there is no point to invest into something that will lead no where. Sorry but this is reality.

Now with that said, if you by chance are decendant of a country where soccer is more serious, I suggest you take your daughter there and cultivate any possibility overseas. Again there is no future at all in the US for soccer.

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Plenty of kids who outshine others when they are younger just assume it will always be that way. In middle and HS they get passed by the kids who worked hard and kept at it. Success isn't just about skill but mental toughness and inner drive. She won't be hitting any of her goals playing on a lower level team or working towards those goals. You can tell her that until you're blue in the face, but really that's all you can do. It's up to her. If she kicks into high gear then help her find the training she needs.

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I am the dad of a 13 year old ECNL player. She likes soccer. But, I can already tell that this level is taking the fun out of it, for her. She carries a nervous stomach to every practice and is not succeeding at the level she feels is required.
I have offered her the opportunity to step down, but she is worried that giving up this shot will be the end of it all. She has played the game for nine years.
I appreciate this thread because I see a dad looking to make the right decision for his daughter. I can also speak to the side of this where she simply might not want to play every single hour of every single day. The level my teen has earned (ECNL) has taken the fun out of the game. At least for her. She never considered this to be something she did other than to have fun. Remember as her dad why you both are at the field all week long. All year long. Love your kid first and make certain that she is helping choose the path. Best of luck.

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dad, it looks like your D is the best player on a mediocre club team. i don't think that's best for her soccer. she needs to be a starter, or close to starter level, and seriously challenged for playing time. every practice should be a challenge. a fight for a spot. no, it's not too young at u14 for this to be part of her experience. otherwise, she will grow complacent. you need to get her to a DA/ECNL if she can make it.

This above is my soccer advice. as a person, maybe she doesn't want it. if that's the case, step back. it's her life. as long as the grades are there, let her be her own person. kids change and the 10 year old soccer junkie may find other interests at 13. let her be a kid, if that's what she wants.

[Unregistered]

I am the dad of a 13 year old ECNL player. She likes soccer. But, I can already tell that this level is taking the fun out of it, for her. She carries a nervous stomach to every practice and is not succeeding at the level she feels is required.
I have offered her the opportunity to step down, but she is worried that giving up this shot will be the end of it all. She has played the game for nine years.
I appreciate this thread because I see a dad looking to make the right decision for his daughter. I can also speak to the side of this where she simply might not want to play every single hour of every single day. The level my teen has earned (ECNL) has taken the fun out of the game. At least for her. She never considered this to be something she did other than to have fun. Remember as her dad why you both are at the field all week long. All year long. Love your kid first and make certain that she is helping choose the path. Best of luck.

good observations by you. intense, high level athletics is not for all personality types.

soccer (all sports really) certainly should be about fun. success is fun. failure is not fun. success is not possible without failure. success wouldnt be nearly as rewarding and fun without failure along the way.

sports (especially higher level sports) will not always be fun or easy. thats what makes them great.

[Unregistered]

I am the dad of a 13 year old ECNL player. She likes soccer. But, I can already tell that this level is taking the fun out of it, for her. She carries a nervous stomach to every practice and is not succeeding at the level she feels is required.
I have offered her the opportunity to step down, but she is worried that giving up this shot will be the end of it all. She has played the game for nine years.
I appreciate this thread because I see a dad looking to make the right decision for his daughter. I can also speak to the side of this where she simply might not want to play every single hour of every single day. The level my teen has earned (ECNL) has taken the fun out of the game. At least for her. She never considered this to be something she did other than to have fun. Remember as her dad why you both are at the field all week long. All year long. Love your kid first and make certain that she is helping choose the path. Best of luck.

It's not worth it - it's too young to be stressed out about college or whatever. She's only thirteen! So what,7th grade? It's a recipe for burnout. Participation should always be enjoyed, not dreaded. Adults are sucking the fun out of soccer, which is why participation rates are dropping. That said, before actually stepping down a level maybe there's a better alternative at another club nearby? Could be the coach and-or her teammates contributing to the stress? Help her explore what is making her so anxious and it may help direct her to a solution.

Also you don't need ECNL to play in college. No she wouldn't be a starter at a top D1 program. But there are thousands of roster spots out there at all different levels that don't require a fancy patch. In the end her educational choices matter more than playing in college or not. She may decide she doesn't even want to play in college, and that's ok too. There's club soccer in college, even intramural, adult leagues, coaching little kids. So many ways to keep in the game without being unhappy.

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It's not worth it - it's too young to be stressed out about college or whatever. She's only thirteen! So what,7th grade? It's a recipe for burnout. Participation should always be enjoyed, not dreaded. Adults are sucking the fun out of soccer, which is why participation rates are dropping. That said, before actually stepping down a level maybe there's a better alternative at another club nearby? Could be the coach and-or her teammates contributing to the stress? Help her explore what is making her so anxious and it may help direct her to a solution.

Also you don't need ECNL to play in college. No she wouldn't be a starter at a top D1 program. But there are thousands of roster spots out there at all different levels that don't require a fancy patch. In the end her educational choices matter more than playing in college or not. She may decide she doesn't even want to play in college, and that's ok too. There's club soccer in college, even intramural, adult leagues, coaching little kids. So many ways to keep in the game without being unhappy.

Go back to the YMCA and hand out trophies to everyone snowflake.

Coffee is for closers. This site is for closers.

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I remember seeing people get really burnt out when I was growing up in sports. Most just walked away from the game, went on to other things (girls, parties, education). Back then just a few were really pushed by their parents to keep grinding away until they either made it... or whatever.

Looking back I knew some talented kids, but I can't look back and see anyone that would have benifited in the big picture from being pushed into more time training and working at something that for >95% inevitably ends after high school.

of the few hundred people in our general area playing growing up 3 of us went to college. 2 division 3's and one Div 1 AA school to play ball. 2 of us were A students.

Do what you want here because it sounds like your daughter might still really love it, but breaking the arrogance and seeing what it takes to hit the next level, and putting in the time to do so will likely burn her out. If not she would already be wandering around the house driving you nuts because she wont stop kicking the ball into sh1t around the house.

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trainers are too expensive.

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Go back to the YMCA and hand out trophies to everyone snowflake.

Coffee is for closers. This site is for closers.

You're part of the reason participation is down dramatically in youth soccer. Kids are being told by aholes like you "play at the highest level or don't bother." It would really suck if more kids were playing just because they enjoy it, wouldn't it?