Relegated

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I would have preferred my kid to have just made the lower team in the first place so it wasn't such a blow. It has nothing to do with embarrassment but rather level of confidence that I have seen decline tremendously. In comparison to the rest of the team, there is very little difference in abilities.

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So why take them in the first place?

because 90% of the time you cannot tell what a club/coach/team are really like until you're chest deep in it (ie. too late)

[Unregistered]

Right! And, everyone should get a trophy too!

Ignoring that idiotic response, concentrate on two things:

1) Why. Not good enough? Tough conversation, but play it for love. And, find out where/how to play it for love. Also, hopefully they got good direction from coaching as to "why"? so they have a direction to improve if they want.

2) Become a leader on that team. It is embarassing, and I've been there. But, the world wants to see how we handle adversity. Do we whine and protest when we don't get our way? Or, do we take the positives and lead that team. They are obviously a good player that they made a top team initially, so lead that team.

Idiotic response? Hardly. Keep isolating the child from reality. Keep meddling in the affairs of children, and when the enablers are responsible for despair, come up with some nonsense to try and pacify the child and avoid the truth. All the turmoil that exists in Youth Sports is the fault of the child , right? Not the adults who have high jacked it. I get it.

[Unregistered]

It just means that the particular team/club was not the right place for them. There are a TON of options in your area (I suspect I know which club you're with) - keep looking and find the right fit.

Winning post. Find the right place and watch them regain their confidence. The team they were relegated to might just that or you may have to look elsewhere

[Unregistered]

I would have preferred my kid to have just made the lower team in the first place so it wasn't such a blow. It has nothing to do with embarrassment but rather level of confidence that I have seen decline tremendously. In comparison to the rest of the team, there is very little difference in abilities.

Often there is very little between lower A and top B players. Coaches are human and can make mistakes. Also tryouts are a poor way to assess talent. A coach won't know for sure until they seen the player regularly.

Also as a parent keep in mind you may not be qualified to honestly or professionally assess talent

[Unregistered]

This isn't a soccer thing, it's a parenting thing.

If he/she isn't strong enough to handle disappointment than high level sports is not for them.

Not the OP, but you are a huge douche. The kid's parents are on here asking for advice on how to help them handle the disappointment. I'm sure your kids are just as douchey as you if this is your response.

[Unregistered]

Often there is very little between lower A and top B players. Coaches are human and can make mistakes. Also tryouts are a poor way to assess talent. A coach won't know for sure until they seen the player regularly.

Also as a parent keep in mind you may not be qualified to honestly or professionally assess talent

I have played soccer so I know a thing or two but I'm not claiming to be qualified to assess, however I can tell you that some of the top players make mistakes naturally and there really is very little difference in abilities between the bottom A and top B.

[Unregistered]

I have played soccer so I know a thing or two but I'm not claiming to be qualified to assess, however I can tell you that some of the top players make mistakes naturally and there really is very little difference in abilities between the bottom A and top B.

the best players I have ever played with were ones that met adversity head on and solved their own frustration with work. Maybe these generations don't dust themselves off anymore and rely on others to lift them... but i think if her child loves it enough to keep playing and pushing then that's their recipe for success that will no doubt carry them into adulthood. Clubs are myopic and short term results driven.

[Unregistered]

In comparison to the rest of the team, there is very little difference in abilities.

You cannot say this as a parent unless you have a legitimate soccer background. Only the coach's evaluation of your son/daughter's ability that matters.

[Unregistered]

Not the OP, but you are a huge douche. The kid's parents are on here asking for advice on how to help them handle the disappointment. I'm sure your kids are just as douchey as you if this is your response.

Here's where the OP should have consulted for help instead of TS:
http://www.parents.com/parenting/bet...enting/advice/

[Unregistered]

Some of these parents are real jerks. I know where you're coming from. Been there with one of mine years ago. My daughter had a hard time with it and wanted to quit at the time. We worked through it and she found her love for soccer again. Eventually she tried out for another club and made their top team where she stayed. Sometimes it's just a matter of the coach and/or club not being the right fit.

[Unregistered]

Idiotic response? Hardly. Keep isolating the child from reality. Keep meddling in the affairs of children, and when the enablers are responsible for despair, come up with some nonsense to try and pacify the child and avoid the truth. All the turmoil that exists in Youth Sports is the fault of the child , right? Not the adults who have high jacked it. I get it.

You are flopping all over in your response. Blame the adults you say...the same adults who want to protect their children from disapointment.

I guess it is not idiotic...just doesn't make any sense.

[Unregistered]

You cannot say this as a parent unless you have a legitimate soccer background. Only the coach's evaluation of your son/daughter's ability that matters.

I've been involved in the game for 40 years, and I have a hard time taking the blinders off when watching her play. With any team, the bottom few on the A team and the top few on the B team can be mixed and matched. What I do, and I wish I wouldn't, is that I see the mistakes the other kids make as faults "what are they doing??"; and when my kid does it it's good intent "oh nice idea". Her successes she earned, there's are more luck.

Since I'm familiar with her and her line of thinking, I can see what she sees and validate it easier.

I am constantly reminding myself to take my blinders off. Sounds easy, but it's not.

[Unregistered]

You cannot say this as a parent unless you have a legitimate soccer background. Only the coach's evaluation of your son/daughter's ability that matters.

Only "one" coach matters? This is where the flaw lies. Where is the development plan that the "one" coach laid out in order for the player to get back on track? Was the player given ample opportunity to improve or work harder? Why is this "one" coach the be all and end all? I have a hard time with all of this. And yes we all blinded to a certain degree when it comes to our own kid but maybe this "one" coach isn't objective either.

[Unregistered]

You are flopping all over in your response. Blame the adults you say...the same adults who want to protect their children from disapointment.

I guess it is not idiotic...just doesn't make any sense.

It makes plenty of sense. The blame is on adults who have turned playtime into performance time. As a parent , you enter the scenario completely aware of the competiveness of the model, and it is happening at younger and younger ages. If you want to protect your child from disappointment , involve them in something that is structurally beneficial to their well being and development. Playtime is supposed to be a release from the tension and anxiety of their lives. Adults have created an arena of Youth sports like soccer that just add to their misery in many cases. And yet, they keep adding displacement models that continue to segregate children for the benefit of others.