Tryout placement

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Tough call. Is she a late bloomer? Hard to tell if she will ever crack the starting line-up. If you decide to leave, how will the club look at it? Quitter who does not want to put the work in? If you leave, you will likely not have another shot at ECNL at this club.

Generally agree that you should find a place where the kid will play. Also lots of money being spent to watch your kid on the pine.

Really depends on how strong her next best option is in terms of coaching, quality of teammates and competition. Playing all the time is great but you need the other pieces as well. If she isn't playing much in ECNL then she isn't a realistic high level D1 candidate, and that might not even be her goal any way. If she isn't looking for higher level soccer then ECNL isn't a necessity. Find the right fit

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Really depends on how strong her next best option is in terms of coaching, quality of teammates and competition. Playing all the time is great but you need the other pieces as well. If she isn't playing much in ECNL then she isn't a realistic high level D1 candidate, and that might not even be her goal any way. If she isn't looking for higher level soccer then ECNL isn't a necessity. Find the right fit

OP here. I am afraid that if I move her down a level, she may take it as a failure and ultimately leave the game. I still feel she has the potential, but it is hard on her (and me) to see her not play and sit the bench.....

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I think by the end of the season FSA has a very good idea who if any of their existing kids are going up, and the coach has likely spoken to them about it long before tryouts...

That's how it worked in my kid's case. This year's teams coach told her they were looking at her for promotion and at tryouts she was pulled out and 2 days later had an offer in hand for an A spot. She jumped 2 levels.

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OP here. I am afraid that if I move her down a level, she may take it as a failure and ultimately leave the game. .....

Then, soccer is not her game. Move on.

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OP here. I am afraid that if I move her down a level, she may take it as a failure and ultimately leave the game. I still feel she has the potential, but it is hard on her (and me) to see her not play and sit the bench.....

I agree with the guy who gave you recommendations by age. I think a lot depends too on which ECNL club she is at. If CFCU, and some level of college is her goal, i would stay put, even if she's only getting 20 mins or so per game. The showcase exposure is good and I would rather say my kid was CFC ECNL than FSA ECNL.

It's tough to watch then ride the pines. My kid is a 80 minute club player yet gets almost no time in HS. It's tough on her and tougher on me.

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I agree with the guy who gave you recommendations by age. I think a lot depends too on which ECNL club she is at. If CFCU, and some level of college is her goal, i would stay put, even if she's only getting 20 mins or so per game. The showcase exposure is good and I would rather say my kid was CFC ECNL than FSA ECNL.

It's tough to watch then ride the pines. My kid is a 80 minute club player yet gets almost no time in HS. It's tough on her and tougher on me.

If she leaves and does not accept the ECNL offer for next year, she will likely never be able to get back in.....regardless of the age.

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If she leaves and does not accept the ECNL offer for next year, she will likely never be able to get back in.....regardless of the age.

You're stuck. if she's ECNL at FSA, there's nothing she can do to improve her playing time. She could work out all week on her own plus practices, improve her quickness, speed, and touch, but the coaches aren't astute enough and don't care enough to see it. She's pigeon-holed where she is. You can leave for OW or CFC, but if your kid isn't a starter, those coaches won't know her, so your kid will get B-team there.

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I agree with the guy who gave you recommendations by age. I think a lot depends too on which ECNL club she is at. If CFCU, and some level of college is her goal, i would stay put, even if she's only getting 20 mins or so per game. The showcase exposure is good and I would rather say my kid was CFC ECNL than FSA ECNL.

It's tough to watch then ride the pines. My kid is a 80 minute club player yet gets almost no time in HS. It's tough on her and tougher on me.

You absolutely do not need to play ECNL to play "some level" of college soccer. Find the place where your child will play the most. She might feel bad about moving down a level, but she is going to feel worse sitting on the bench.

[Unregistered]

You're stuck. if she's ECNL at FSA, there's nothing she can do to improve her playing time. She could work out all week on her own plus practices, improve her quickness, speed, and touch, but the coaches aren't astute enough and don't care enough to see it. She's pigeon-holed where she is. You can leave for OW or CFC, but if your kid isn't a starter, those coaches won't know her, so your kid will get B-team there.

Wow...that's an encouraging outlook!

[Unregistered]

OP here. I am afraid that if I move her down a level, she may take it as a failure and ultimately leave the game. I still feel she has the potential, but it is hard on her (and me) to see her not play and sit the bench.....

It really depends on what she wants. As a parent you'll have your own emotions and thoughts, but have to find out realistically what she wants to do. If she wants to play in college, sitting on the bench getting only a few minutes here and there won't help. While practicing with the top team is great, developmentally not getting game minutes hurts. Only way to get better is to be able to play.

There is nothing wrong with moving down or on to another club that is a better fit for her. If she goes from being #15-18 and playing only 20 minutes a game, to lower level and in the top 5 playing 80 minutes a game and enjoying herself it'll be a better experience. Who knows, possibly moving down and gaining confidence playing more can move her into a better spot during the season.

A realistic sit down talk with your daughter is what is needed to be done. As the kids get older, have to give them responsibility to make the choices and the consequences that go with them. Friends can be made anywhere which is the good thing about sports, pretty instantly you get 18 new friends.

[Unregistered]

If she leaves and does not accept the ECNL offer for next year, she will likely never be able to get back in.....regardless of the age.

Listen, stop lamenting over this. She is what she is .... both you and her need to accept it or work harder to change it. Any player should play a minimum of 50% of each game and if you are not, then you need to work harder to get over that hump or go to a more suitable team. I think you are way overthinking this, merely hoping she will improve her lot by chumming with a team with a sleeve patch. Perhaps a change of pace will be just what she needs to inject confidence in her and jump start her love of the game so that she does work harder in practices, in games, and in the backyard. Stop fretting and go to a place that works better for her (preferably a decent team that might be a stop down where she already knows a few kids). The point of all of this is for her to play and improve and get out of it what she can. Being on a team with a badge and not playing is terrible for confidence and learning to play at a faster pace (if you dont see action in games) and college coaches look at the player, and not the team. Sounds like she can get more elsewhere. It's kids soccer, stop worrying about attending UCLA and let her compete and have fun.

[Unregistered]

Listen, stop lamenting over this. She is what she is .... both you and her need to accept it or work harder to change it. Any player should play a minimum of 50% of each game and if you are not, then you need to work harder to get over that hump or go to a more suitable team. I think you are way overthinking this, merely hoping she will improve her lot by chumming with a team with a sleeve patch. Perhaps a change of pace will be just what she needs to inject confidence in her and jump start her love of the game so that she does work harder in practices, in games, and in the backyard. Stop fretting and go to a place that works better for her (preferably a decent team that might be a stop down where she already knows a few kids). The point of all of this is for her to play and improve and get out of it what she can. Being on a team with a badge and not playing is terrible for confidence and learning to play at a faster pace (if you dont see action in games) and college coaches look at the player, and not the team. Sounds like she can get more elsewhere. It's kids soccer, stop worrying about attending UCLA and let her compete and have fun.

OP here. I am a mom parent and have never played the game or other organized sports. Just find this whole thing so stressful and want what's best for my daughter.

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OP here. I am a mom parent and have never played the game or other organized sports. Just find this whole thing so stressful and want what's best for my daughter.

Not the person you are quoting, but I think you know the answer, it is just a matter of making it.

You said daughter might quit or think she's a failure for moving down, but is unhappy sitting the bench.

So only way she'll be happy is either quitting or playing. It really depends on if she wants to play in college or not. If she does want to play in college, then quitting is not an option, so it leaves realistically only one option, or if thinks she can get out of spot 15-18 and get more minutes there is that route, but if doesn't it could ruin a career even more if she really does like the game and wants to play. Longer she goes not playing, harder it gets.

As a parent you have an emotional attachment of seeing your kid not happy, and an emotional attachment to money being paid to seeing your daughter not happy. You can both be happy elsewhere, if she doesn't want to leave, then have to accept her decision.

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What does SHE want to do? Ultimately it's up to her to decide what path she wants. If she wants college soccer she doesn't have to do ECNL but will still have to work hard to reach that goal. If she sees moving down as a setback and quits then she wouldn't have lasted in college. If she doesn't want college but still wants to play then definitely move; find a team and coach that will challenge her, boost her confidence and make soccer fun again.

Setbacks don't have to be permanent. It's all about how you handle it that matters. And really finding the best fit isn't a setback. It's about doing what's best for her.

[Unregistered]

Not the person you are quoting, but I think you know the answer, it is just a matter of making it.

You said daughter might quit or think she's a failure for moving down, but is unhappy sitting the bench.

So only way she'll be happy is either quitting or playing. It really depends on if she wants to play in college or not. If she does want to play in college, then quitting is not an option, so it leaves realistically only one option, or if thinks she can get out of spot 15-18 and get more minutes there is that route, but if doesn't it could ruin a career even more if she really does like the game and wants to play. Longer she goes not playing, harder it gets.

As a parent you have an emotional attachment of seeing your kid not happy, and an emotional attachment to money being paid to seeing your daughter not happy. You can both be happy elsewhere, if she doesn't want to leave, then have to accept her decision.

What if she gets to spot 14? It’s only one spot difference from spot 15. Then it will be smooth sailing and the college offers cupeth will overflow. Work hard to take out the current 14 player.