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    #31
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    Why? Actually describes most soccer parents quite well. It's the ones who say that they are only in it for the exercise/esoteric goals that are the real trolls
    Plenty of FOMO parents out there - Fear of Missing Out. It's a big driver of the insanity in youth sports now, especially younger commits. That's why the new rules are a bit of a joke. There's still too many loopholes that can be gamed. Families will use every trick in the book.

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      #32
      Online rosters are a good place to start - what clubs did they play for, what are their resumes. If your kid wants a top ten program chock full of NT players and she/she isn't one? Go ahead an apply as a regular student if it's a dream school but it won't happen for soccer if your resume isn't up to that level. Watching games on line is also a good resource or go to some local live games if you can.

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        #33
        Original poster here.........think this got a little off-topic. My concern is not as much how to decide which schools to target, it's that she's not ready to focus picking specific schools at this point. And just to clarify, she's totaling on board with pursuing playing soccer at the highest level she's able in college (I'd be nuts to spend all this time and energy and money on her playing now if she wasn't), she's just not at the sit down and do some actual research stage. Hoping that once her teammates who are a little older get started she'll change her tune. Thanks for all the well though out responses and advice for going forward.

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          #34
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Original poster here.........think this got a little off-topic. My concern is not as much how to decide which schools to target, it's that she's not ready to focus picking specific schools at this point. And just to clarify, she's totaling on board with pursuing playing soccer at the highest level she's able in college (I'd be nuts to spend all this time and energy and money on her playing now if she wasn't), she's just not at the sit down and do some actual research stage. Hoping that once her teammates who are a little older get started she'll change her tune. Thanks for all the well though out responses and advice for going forward.
          That describes a lot of kids, like one of mine, so you are not alone. Unfortunately there is a consequence to your situation and both you and your daughter need to face that reality. The recruiting timeline is what the timeline is though. College coaches are not going to sit waiting for anyone and none of the Pollyannaish BS you typically read on this site about being able to wait it out is actually true. It's just not how the whole recruiting thing works. Basically a parent/player in your position has a choice, either refuse to jump in and then honestly except the fact that you will be left with table scraps if you wait until she is ready to do her part of the process or you nudge her along like the rest of us parents have done. There are tons of soccer parents out there who will tell you that's not a whole lot of fun either. At the end of the day both approaches are fraught with negative results and a lot of time there just is no win out there to be found. Speaking with almost 20 years worth of club soccer involvement under my belt my advice is to err on the side of caution and really de-emphasize the soccer altogether. Forget hunting for scholarships and focus on what college is supposed to about, an education. If at the end of the day your daughter finds she wants to play soccer in college she can always focus on D3 schools or continue playing club at the college level. What you will find is that your relationship with your daughter will likely end up in a healthier place and there will be less family strife because of that. I have had two kids get scholarships and play in college (one at the highest levels) and can safely tell you that unless you can really see the soccer earning your kid some scholarship money or at the least opportunity to go to a school beyond her likely trajectory, all the club soccer insanity is not really worth it. The point you are at is likely the last time you will get to push the eject button before it gets crazy. Think long and hard about what you should do.

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            #35
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            That describes a lot of kids, like one of mine, so you are not alone. Unfortunately there is a consequence to your situation and both you and your daughter need to face that reality. The recruiting timeline is what the timeline is though. College coaches are not going to sit waiting for anyone and none of the Pollyannaish BS you typically read on this site about being able to wait it out is actually true. It's just not how the whole recruiting thing works. Basically a parent/player in your position has a choice, either refuse to jump in and then honestly except the fact that you will be left with table scraps if you wait until she is ready to do her part of the process or you nudge her along like the rest of us parents have done. There are tons of soccer parents out there who will tell you that's not a whole lot of fun either. At the end of the day both approaches are fraught with negative results and a lot of time there just is no win out there to be found. Speaking with almost 20 years worth of club soccer involvement under my belt my advice is to err on the side of caution and really de-emphasize the soccer altogether. Forget hunting for scholarships and focus on what college is supposed to about, an education. If at the end of the day your daughter finds she wants to play soccer in college she can always focus on D3 schools or continue playing club at the college level. What you will find is that your relationship with your daughter will likely end up in a healthier place and there will be less family strife because of that. I have had two kids get scholarships and play in college (one at the highest levels) and can safely tell you that unless you can really see the soccer earning your kid some scholarship money or at the least opportunity to go to a school beyond her likely trajectory, all the club soccer insanity is not really worth it. The point you are at is likely the last time you will get to push the eject button before it gets crazy. Think long and hard about what you should do.
            "I can safely tell you....." You are so, so pathetic, BTNT. You give two choices....a top 10 program as a starter with a future playing pro in Europe or D3/club college soccer (or nothing). Thanks so much.

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              #36
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              Didn't really think the original post sounded unrealistic, why all the anger?
              Because real people with real kids don't seek key answers on key topics on TS.

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                #37
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Original poster here.........think this got a little off-topic. My concern is not as much how to decide which schools to target, it's that she's not ready to focus picking specific schools at this point. And just to clarify, she's totaling on board with pursuing playing soccer at the highest level she's able in college (I'd be nuts to spend all this time and energy and money on her playing now if she wasn't), she's just not at the sit down and do some actual research stage. Hoping that once her teammates who are a little older get started she'll change her tune. Thanks for all the well though out responses and advice for going forward.
                Your kid is 14? And doesn't know what she wants to major in? Doesn't know the academic programs at and how they compare/differ at Clemson, Vandy, Southern Connecticut State Univ, Hopkins, Wash U, FDU, MCLA? What a dope for a kid you got. Try scolding her for not knowing enough about colleges yet or what she'll actually want when she is 18 or 19.

                Comment


                  #38
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  "I can safely tell you....." You are so, so pathetic, BTNT. You give two choices....a top 10 program as a starter with a future playing pro in Europe or D3/club college soccer (or nothing). Thanks so much.
                  No doubt that's a monstrous chip on your shoulder speaking. The point obviously was about the result if you miss your window because your kid won't engage. The point was essentially you can choose to either go for it and deal with the negative repercussions that go with pushing a kid who isn't ready or you pull out all together and let the chips fall as they may with the benefit of adding some sanity back into the family dynamic. I believe the point is valid. I've seen countless families start too late and then end up blowing their brains out trying to catch up only to still end up with nothing for their time, money and effort. What do you think happens if you miss your kid's window?

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                    #39
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Your kid is 14? And doesn't know what she wants to major in? Doesn't know the academic programs at and how they compare/differ at Clemson, Vandy, Southern Connecticut State Univ, Hopkins, Wash U, FDU, MCLA? What a dope for a kid you got. Try scolding her for not knowing enough about colleges yet or what she'll actually want when she is 18 or 19.
                    Says the trollish idiot who never had to deal with any of this. How was that D3 landing you engineered?

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      Your kid is 14? And doesn't know what she wants to major in? Doesn't know the academic programs at and how they compare/differ at Clemson, Vandy, Southern Connecticut State Univ, Hopkins, Wash U, FDU, MCLA? What a dope for a kid you got. Try scolding her for not knowing enough about colleges yet or what she'll actually want when she is 18 or 19.
                      Ignore this idiot. They want to convince everyone that early recruitment isn't real and want families to believe that they can wait. Its a misery loves company type of thing with them.

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                        #41
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Ignore this idiot. They want to convince everyone that early recruitment isn't real and want families to believe that they can wait. Its a misery loves company type of thing with them.
                        Real early recruitment as a HS underclassman where the player is actively engaged is one thing, but “type A” parents pushing their 7th and 8th grader’s to select colleges and go to ID camps is entirely another thing. That’s just wrong.

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                          #42
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Real early recruitment as a HS underclassman where the player is actively engaged is one thing, but “type A” parents pushing their 7th and 8th grader’s to select colleges and go to ID camps is entirely another thing. That’s just wrong.
                          Why? It's how you actually need to humanly handle the process these days. Even low level D1 prospects are now committing in the Jr year and well before their other non athletic classmates are even starting to think about college. I know it's not the greatest thing but it is what is going on. You are better off starting early and slowly helping the kids understand what's going on by talking about it and visiting schools rather than pushing them to make decisions without the slightest clue what they all about. The thing is if your kid is not into it or you have a strong feeling against early recruitment you probably should stop the merry go round and get off because you can't do the recruiting thing half assed or on your own made up timeline. Those are the cases where all of the horror stories actually come from. If you are going to play the game, play it well. Just give yourself plenty of time to let your kid grow into their early decision.

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                            #43
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Why? It's how you actually need to humanly handle the process these days. Even low level D1 prospects are now committing in the Jr year and well before their other non athletic classmates are even starting to think about college. I know it's not the greatest thing but it is what is going on. You are better off starting early and slowly helping the kids understand what's going on by talking about it and visiting schools rather than pushing them to make decisions without the slightest clue what they all about. The thing is if your kid is not into it or you have a strong feeling against early recruitment you probably should stop the merry go round and get off because you can't do the recruiting thing half assed or on your own made up timeline. Those are the cases where all of the horror stories actually come from. If you are going to play the game, play it well. Just give yourself plenty of time to let your kid grow into their early decision.
                            I have a daughter who plays D1 college soccer. This is before the recent rule change, but we didn’t start the process until HS sophomore year. She verbally committed about middle of junior year and got her formal offer in senior year. If the new rules had been in effect, we would just have formally committed in junior year. I don’t see the need for good prospects to worry about starting their college search in middle school. That’s not necessary and all this hype to the contrary is just hype.

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                              #44
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Real early recruitment as a HS underclassman where the player is actively engaged is one thing, but “type A” parents pushing their 7th and 8th grader’s to select colleges and go to ID camps is entirely another thing. That’s just wrong.
                              Nobody is talking about a 7th grader at all or an 8th grader going to ID camps. Talking about an 8th grader starting to think about where she’s wants to go so she can start reaching out to coaches next year as a U16 freshman. Coaches will be at her games whether she is ready for the recruitment process to start or not, and starting too late will limit choices. To the parent that started sophomore year and wrapped it up within a year that’s great but some people need more time for ID camps, campus visits etc., esp. if looking farther from home.

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                                Nobody is talking about a 7th grader at all or an 8th grader going to ID camps. Talking about an 8th grader starting to think about where she’s wants to go so she can start reaching out to coaches next year as a U16 freshman. Coaches will be at her games whether she is ready for the recruitment process to start or not, and starting too late will limit choices. To the parent that started sophomore year and wrapped it up within a year that’s great but some people need more time for ID camps, campus visits etc., esp. if looking farther from home.
                                I posted about my daughter in college. First, go back and read the OP’s posts. He is asking how to get his daughter interested in really putting a list together in middle school. He says she wants to play eventually and has some tentative ideas, but is resisting doing anything further at that point. My experience is that is an age-appropriate response for a 14 yr old girl who hasn’t even stepped foot in HS, let alone thinking seriously about college. I agree with other posters that he shouldn’t push it.

                                As for us, we did ID camps and campus visits too. It’s not like we started late and skipped steps. To give you an idea how this works, here’s roughly the timeline we did: in the final weeks of freshman year, my D, wife, and I started to talk about colleges. We asked her to compile a list over the summer. Her initial list was too long (>40 schools) and some of the schools were a stretch both academically/athletically (think Stanford, etc.). We told her to limit it to a more manageable # of schools to apply to/visit. Over the next few months going into sophomore year we visited 5 or 6 of the schools on her list and/or went to their practices/games. This was all informal, just showing up unannounced to take a look at the campus. We tried to tack these visits onto family vacations/weekend trips to make it fun. At this point, we hadn’t contacted any coaches. Those visits were key because once she had visuals of the different sizes and locations of colleges, she started to drop colleges off her initial list quickly. We got it down to 20 or so colleges. In the fall of her sophomore year, she took an SAT prep class and then the test. We dropped and added a few schools to the list based on the scores. We also put her resume and video together and emailed those to the coaching staff at her 20 target schools. We followed that up with phone calls and had her HS coach call them as well. About 10 schools expressed some interest, some we never heard back from. 5 or 6 of those coaches came to her HS games (fortunately they were in county/state tourney that year so they had a chance to see her play). They all invited her to their ID camps and we attended those in the spring/summer after sophomore year. By that time, we knew 4 schools were really interested in her and she was really interested in 3 of them. We got invitations for official visits, which was great because it was her first real look at the active campus/program and spending time with the teams. It gave her a good idea how she would fit in. Those coaches showed up again at her junior year HS games. By October, we had 4 offer packages and she knew which school she wanted so she committed. That made the rest of junior and senior years less stressful. Both the coaches at her chosen school and the other schools kept in touch throughout.

                                I’m telling you this so you can see how manageable this is. It’s not something you need to start in middle school and frankly I can’t imagine what kind of list my daughter would have come up with in 8th grade. It really wouldn’t have been useful. Until she could see what her grades/SAT scores were and could visit the schools, it wasn’t realistic to even consider most schools.

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