Frustrated — Advice?

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Always worth considering that being good at drills is great, but it doesn't replicate game speed (but will help them later on). Being good on 1v1 and in other practice activity doesn't translate to game play as it's inherently slower.

Yes, that's why it's good to have many high level kids on the team. That's the game speed you will see; or should see. Then it's all about who the coaches think are game speed worthy too.

Sometimes they don't see who is a good practice player and a good game day player. Here's a hint though, if they aren't fluid with foot skills in practice, can't hit a ball with pace and accuracy or is not fast in practice; highly likely not a game day player. But, sometimes they are on the field anyway. Players don't pick the players or the line up.

And for goodness sake, remind the kids they are not refs. I can't tell you how many I see them put up their hands to get the refs attention, only to have the opponent dribble around them because they stopped playing or were only partially playing at that point because you can't run or turn with your hands in the air. Players play, refs ref. It's that simple.
Sorry, I saw a lot of it this weekend. Bad, bad habit.

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In a showcase, all the players should get a turn.

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A vindictive, bottle-throwing, 10-year-old benching coach may run great training sessions that look amazing to the parents in the parking lot, but the same negative atmosphere they create on game day is right under the surface during training. The pressure of not getting benched is gone, but the negative motivation tactics are still impacting the kids. They can deal with it at practice and still do well, but gameday pressure will always come back.

Example: If your boss is a total ***** who dresses you down in front of the company just once a week... do you trust him the other days? Or do you quickly update your resume?

Some coaches are tough with their players, but foster a sense of loyalty and team spirit, motivating the kids to achieve. Some coaches see those examples and think the strength (yelling) is the only thing necessary to succeed.

To the OP - find a coach who doesn't act like this. It doesn't matter if others on the team agree with you or not. Your kid is not flourishing on this team, regardless of the level of the bracket it's in. You are right to worry about burnout.

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Agree. My dd is the same way when the coach is a yeller and uses negative reinforcement instead of positive reinforcement. Find a better coach for your dd and she will blossom in games too.

Agree 110%. When my son plays carefree and " cautiously wrecklessly", he is fun to watch. In practices and non-club games, he couldn't care less about making mistakes and he takes reasonable risks and continues to improve and learn and he doesn't hurt his team on every touch. Whereas, in his club games, he is playing always trying to avoid making mistakes and takes a touch and plays it as if the ball were a hot potato. It is very counter productive, but there really is no way to fix this I dont think. I think he is also subconsciously aware that 3 or 4 kids are allowed to make the same mistakes over and over with nothing but encouraging words from the coach ("Unlucky there timmy", "good effort, get it next time", "I like the idea" ....) but the rest of the team, him included, get ("it has to be better", "you had joey out wide", "why did you dribble into him?", "you can't turn the ball over there" .....). Overall, we like the team and training, but the double-standard definitely makes it more optimal for a very small select group of kids. I doubt the coach even knows he is doing it, but the parents of kids on the short end discuss it pretty freely. I have no doubt over the next 2 or 3 years, the other kids confidence will bloom and his will struggle unless he learns to shrug the coach's words off better (something he can not do easily now).

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Agree 110%. When my son plays carefree and " cautiously wrecklessly", he is fun to watch. In practices and non-club games, he couldn't care less about making mistakes and he takes reasonable risks and continues to improve and learn and he doesn't hurt his team on every touch. Whereas, in his club games, he is playing always trying to avoid making mistakes and takes a touch and plays it as if the ball were a hot potato. It is very counter productive, but there really is no way to fix this I dont think. I think he is also subconsciously aware that 3 or 4 kids are allowed to make the same mistakes over and over with nothing but encouraging words from the coach ("Unlucky there timmy", "good effort, get it next time", "I like the idea" ....) but the rest of the team, him included, get ("it has to be better", "you had joey out wide", "why did you dribble into him?", "you can't turn the ball over there" .....). Overall, we like the team and training, but the double-standard definitely makes it more optimal for a very small select group of kids. I doubt the coach even knows he is doing it, but the parents of kids on the short end discuss it pretty freely. I have no doubt over the next 2 or 3 years, the other kids confidence will bloom and his will struggle unless he learns to shrug the coach's words off better (something he can not do easily now).

PS - our coach isn't really a yeller. It's more like backhanded insults when he allows one player to make the same mistake he lets another kid know about (he doesn't kill my kid, but he lets him know repeatedly and repeatedly never enforces the same mistakes for certain other players).

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PS - our coach isn't really a yeller. It's more like backhanded insults when he allows one player to make the same mistake he lets another kid know about (he doesn't kill my kid, but he lets him know repeatedly and repeatedly never enforces the same mistakes for certain other players).

Yep. That's my kid's team, too. ALso, his coach allows sulking players who aren't playing to get rewarded by then playing them. That sends a bad message too. Play the kids that are engaged and cheering on their teammates. Don't reward the bad behavior, because guess what? It continues instead of stops.

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Does she play on a town or school team? That can be a great place to build confidence. Typically more mellow and more for fun. Hopefully...

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It appears to me to be a confidence issue, based on a fear of making a mistake when it really counts, i.e. during an actual match. When she is having fun, and is more relaxed she is not afraid of making a mistake and plays better. For boys, as time goes on, they get more confidence and overcome it. I am not sure with girls. There is a whole different dynamic with coaching a girls team.

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It appears to me to be a confidence issue, based on a fear of making a mistake when it really counts, i.e. during an actual match. When she is having fun, and is more relaxed she is not afraid of making a mistake and plays better. For boys, as time goes on, they get more confidence and overcome it. I am not sure with girls. There is a whole different dynamic with coaching a girls team.

Do you think female coaches are more effective with girls or women's team or male? It's fascinating to me the amount of male coaches (club and college) for female teams and even less coaching boys/men. Surely not all the men are the best candidates for ALL of these positions especially coaching girls/women.

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[QUOTE=Unregistered;2465235]Do you think female coaches are more effective with girls or women's team or male? It's fascinating to me the amount of male coaches (club and college) for female teams and even less coaching boys/men. Surely not all the men are the best candidates for ALL of these positions especially coaching girls/women.[/QUOTE

Men are just better coaches...even more so with an accent.

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Do you think female coaches are more effective with girls or women's team or male? It's fascinating to me the amount of male coaches (club and college) for female teams and even less coaching boys/men. Surely not all the men are the best candidates for ALL of these positions especially coaching girls/women.

As is often said of coaching, you need to be smart enough to do the job, but dumb enough to think it matters. Maybe women are just smarter than men and know it doesn't really matter.

[Unregistered]

Do you think female coaches are more effective with girls or women's team or male? It's fascinating to me the amount of male coaches (club and college) for female teams and even less coaching boys/men. Surely not all the men are the best candidates for ALL of these positions especially coaching girls/women.

Like all coaches/kids in their dynamic...it depends.

Personally, my D needs a stronger voice so has always liked male coaches better. Hated her female coaches, which have been few.

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PS - our coach isn't really a yeller. It's more like backhanded insults when he allows one player to make the same mistake he lets another kid know about (he doesn't kill my kid, but he lets him know repeatedly and repeatedly never enforces the same mistakes for certain other players).

Freaking snowflakes. The whole lot of ya

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Stop The madness

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As is often said of coaching, you need to be smart enough to do the job, but dumb enough to think it matters. Maybe women are just smarter than men and know it doesn't really matter.

Good female coaches are few and far between. The good ones quickly move into college. Good coaching is more about personality for than gender